Happy New Year

 I see that I have picked up followers for my blog and I am very grateful to you all. Thank you for taking the time to read my subconscious messages. Since this is my last post for 2020 I am leaving you with a poem I wrote in 2001. Happy New Year everyone!

Greed

When you ask for more than you really need
You are asking to be taught a lesson in greed
You might be given exactly what you ask
To teach you aren't ready to handle the task.

If what you want is only about you
And not about helping others too
God could consider your request too vain
And insist you rephrase to include His name.

When power and wealth and material things
Become more important than human beings
Perhaps it is time to take a break and live
Taking time to reflect on things needed to give.

What do you see?

 About 20 years ago while enjoying dinner at a local restaurant, some people came in selling various items. I usually just ignored people like that, but something about them got my attention.It was not unusual for a group of native Americans to try to sell their wares to customers dinning, but these were not Indians. Perhaps that's why I paid attention. I ended up buying a work or art created by western artist, Bill O'Neill. I later discovered the piece was signed on a rock in the picture.

The picture was created using a quill pen and india ink. The used connects thousands of dots and is called pointillism. O'Neill's original art pieces are valued at $100,000 or more. This picture is based on the life of the famous mountain man, Jeremiah Johnson. I have no idea why I purchased this piece of art, but I am happy that I did. 

Just a thought

In listening to a podcast presented by a friend I picked up a thought that I found very useful. It was, when choosing a destination, what happens during the journey is not up to us. What a powerful statement!

Every life is packed full of choices, from who we marry, the jobs we choose, the friends we have. The list goes on and on! What happens during any choice we make is not up to us. Often times we feel the choices we have made have led us to negative situations. I don't think there are any right or wrong choices. Every choice we make will provide lessons to aid in our spiritual growth. It is up to us whether or not to use them in a positive manner. 

During 2020 I think we have all been given a huge chance to either use the lessons to grow or feel sorry for ourselves. The destination is up to us, what happens along the journey is not. As another friend of mine would have said, think about that!

Anything is possible

 Christmas is over yea! Now we are almost ready to see what the new year will bring. I would say it couldn't be any worse than 2020, but anything is possible.

January should bring a new president. It will be interesting to watch the current one leave the White House. It would be even more interesting if, considering all the stress he has caused himself, he had a heart attack and died before Jan. 21. That would cause the current Vice President to serve the shortest term in the history of the United States as President. Anything is possible. 

A couple of weeks ago I had no clue that I had a niece. It is amazing how many things that we have in common. It is going to be interesting to see where this relationship leads. Anything is possible.

I remember back on December 31, 1999, moving into a new century. People were scared and worried. What would it bring? I don't remember anything earth shaking happening. For me it was the year that I began removing all the negative energy from my life. I set out to face the world on my own, with very little help. Twenty years later I am very happy that I made that decision, proving anything can happen.

It is Christmas morning

 Not a creature is stirring, well except one cat and my dog. As I check Facebook to see if anyone is alive out there in cyber land. That seems to be the only family I have now. Even my youngest grandson can't be bothered to stay in touch. I would say I hate Christmas, but I guess that isn't cool. Sometimes I wonder why I bother decorating.  One of the messages I got this morning is that a long time friend has just tested positive to the virus. All in all this Christmas really sucks.

Connections

This has been a very unusual year to say the least! I think part of the lessons/experiences it has offered is an opportunity to connect with the past.

Last June, after he graduated from high school, my youngest grandson made a trip to New York State. Why you may ask? He chose to connect with his biological father and four half brothers, whom he had never met. He had not seen his father since he was a baby. My opinion is that his father abandoned him, leaving his mother the job of raising him. I was a bit anxious about his trip because the pandemic was roaring in New York and he has asthma. He came home safe and sound, gaining new family members. He always wanted siblings!

Over the weekend I received a message from someone claiming that she just found out that I am her aunt. I tried to figure out just how that could be. I knew I had a nephew, but a niece, no way! After emailing back and forth we finally figured out that my younger brother had a daughter that he knew nothing about. He is now deceased. Apparently a lie was told that was never corrected over 58 years. 

During the year I have also connected with a couple of cousins I didn't know I had, with the help of Ancestry.com. One was given up for adoption as a baby and was looking for his biological family. I was able to help him find the name of his biological father, who unfortunately was now deceased. 

These relationships were corrected during the year 2020. I don't think that was an accident! What happens from now on is up to those involved. As the last few days of 2020 approach I wonder what else is in store for the members of my earth family.

 

An interesting question

Yesterday while waiting to find out why the check engine light keeps coming on in my car, my mechanic asked me, "Are you ready for Christmas?" I said, "It's just my son and me so I guess so.The rest of my family, with the exception of my oldest grandson, no longer speak to me.

I was actually asking myself what is there to get ready for this year?

Will the pandemic be over, will the stores and restaurants be open, will I get a ton of Christmas cards in the mail, will my family remember that I am still alive? No, none of these things are likely to happen. 

To make up for a big NO, I have used the last few weeks to do little things for others. It has actually been fun. Not having a lot of money, it was a challenge to figure out what I could do to brighten the life of another. I think I did a pretty good job.

Last night as I looked out my front window I saw a beautiful sight in the sky. I hurried to get my camera before the image was no longer visible. Along with a fantastic sunset I saw a bright cross in the lower part of the scene. As the day has gone on I know I am supposed to share it with others. This is what I saw.

A new message

For the second time in a month I got a phone call from my oldest grandson in Georgia. The main purpose of this call was to inform me that my great granddaughter has tested positive for the virus. She is only three years old and recently dealt with strep throat. I knew eventually the virus would make itself known in some way to my immediate family, but to pick on a little child?! That's just not fair! Both of her parents work so that means no income for the next two weeks. What a wonderful gift right before Christmas!

Juliet's mom must have felt sorry for her because she gave her new pj's for herself and her doll.

If anyone out there has a spare prayer please send them her way.

It's time

The first weekend in December has always marked the time when I decorate the house for Christmas. This year will be no different. I haven't had a live tree for years, but that's okay. I always put up my snowmen, collected over many years. Who needs a tree anyway?! Christmas isn't about trees, it is about memories. This year I have loved doing small things for people who have not expected them. I really don't think it is necessary to spend a lot of money, which I don't have anyway. 

These are some of my snowmen. I try to add to the collection every year. It's a personal gift I give to myself.

The cool little snowman in the red hat was a birthday/Christmas gift from my youngest grandson.The last one is an unexpected gift from a friend. It arrived last year. Don't forget to count yourself when you are shopping for others. It is important to make yourself happy! I wish you all peace and good health.

 

Happy birthday to me

  This morning I woke up to find a birthday gift on the dinning room table from my son. My first thought was, "Oh right today is my birthday." I thought it was tomorrow! It's kind of hard to keep track of events during this pandemic. Every day sort of runs into the next with nothing much happening unless it is a day when I go to the grocery store. I suppose I should be grateful that I am still here to say happy 83rd birthday to me! 

Eyes that see

I have always had a problem adding my eye color to questionnaires. They just don't fit because the choices are usually blue, brown and green. My eyes change as if they are responding to moods. Most of the time they are greenish grey and that is not listed as a choice. I just looked at my drivers license and it says green. Apparently, grey was not a choice on the day I answered the question.

As I was reading my current Kindle book, "Mistletoe at Moonglow", I came across a character who had the exact same problem. He really didn't know what his eye color was on any given day. It made me laugh and it also made me feel not quite so weird! 

Black Friday

 Wow this black Friday really does seem like black Friday. Thanksgiving was no different than it has been for the last six years. The only other person in my house is my oldest son. Since my divorce in 1999 I spent fifteen years pretty much alone. Because of the pandemic this year really does seem like blackness of some kind.

I see pictures on Facebook of friends who have spent the holiday with family, no matter what the current rules are. I pray that they all come through this pandemic healthy. Today I am plain sick of this crap. 

Happy Thanksgiving

 Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving! Please take the time to think about all the things and people you are thankful for. Things will get better, they have to. 

 

Abundance

I have never considered myself rich by any means, but lately I am re-assessing this thought. The news is full of people who don't even have food to eat or a safe place to sleep. They literally don't know how they will survive another day. This pandemic has ripped away the livelihood of people who thought their lives were pretty secure. I have no idea what this is supposed to prove, but I am grateful that I am not one of those people.

I am not rich but my house and car are paid for, I have a Social Security income that won't change much, have excellent credit and owe no one anything. I learned at a very young age not to live above my income.

I remember years ago reading somewhere that if you have more than you need at the end of the day, you have abundance.

Time for gratitude

While watching a friend's podcast this morning I was inspired to use gratitude as the subject for today's post. I asked myself what am I most grateful for?

There are several things that came to my mind. For instance, fairly good health, A comfortable home. enough to eat, friends, enough money to live fairly well and my gift of writing. That really isn't what I am most grateful for though.

That would be people. Since my very first breath people have been part of my life. There were first my parents and other relatives, the hospital staff, neighbors, playmates, classmates, friends, people in stores and on the street, coworkers. You name it and I had contact with all of them. People of all color, races and beliefs. Thinking about all the people I have had contact with since the first day of my life really is mind boggling.

It is also mind boggling to realize that no two of these people are exactly alike. Everyone, from their first breath to their last are on their own. I am most grateful to have been created to be counted as one of those people.

Holiday shopping

I just spent the morning shopping online for gifts. It is kind of cool to shop in my pajamas in front of my computer. Actually I began my shopping experience yesterday. My birthday is in a couple of weeks so I thought I might as well get myself a gift to mark the day. So I checked out my closet and decided to purchase a couple of new tops, one in heather blue and the other in heather grey. The grey one replaces a sweatshirt I have had for twenty years, celebrating a long past local Quad on our Mt. Taylor. I figured it was past time to put it to rest.

This morning I found a special Christmas book for my youngest great granddaughter. It is called, Santa's Christmas With a Mask, and will no doubt be a collectors item someday. I will probably tuck in a gift card.

I have been trying to figure out something for my son, who lives with me. He is one of those people who has everything and keeps ordering from Amazon. The UPS delivery guy comes so often I am sure he thinks he is part of the family by now. Anyway, I did find something that I think will work on the Amazon Black Friday page. While I was there I decided to accept the 30 day free trial of Prime. Hey, who wants to pay an extra charge for shipping? Not me. I expect to cancel it after the free time is up. Don't tell anyone at Amazon!

My holiday shopping list has been cut way down as most of my wonderful family no longer accepts the fact that I am still alive. Oh well, their loss! Happy holidays everyone!

 

Be present in the present

While reading a new Kindle book last night I came across a passage that caught my eye. It was; You can't worry about what comes next until you let the now happen. It  reminded me of the message Eckhart Tolle shared in his book, A New Earth. Be present in the now. 

In this pandemic we are all living in I think people tend to worry about tomorrow instead of doing everything they can to stay safe today. Worrying about tomorrow can and does cause anxiety. I know, I spent 15 years of my life suffering from panic attacks. In my case I now believe it was, at least partly due to a chemical imbalance, but once they start it is hard to stop them. 

I think the only control anyone has is right now. Just think of all the good things in your life and be grateful for them. Don't compare yourself with anyone else. They are not living your life. You are.

Don't worry about tomorrow, just do your best to live today!

Follow the leader

I know there are many people in the State of New Mexico who think our governor is over reacting when she decided to put us back to the rules of March 2020. Personally I don't see that she had any choice.I would hate to be in her position! If people would have followed her advice in the first place we would not be where we are now.

I simply cannot understand the Trump followers who refuse to wear a mask and who congregate in large groups. He is in a world of his own making and it is plain idiotic to follow him. In my opinion, by refusing to take the pandemic seriously he is responsible for the death of many more people than would have happened if we had a leader who actually cared about someone other than himself. He cares more about playing golf than anything else. 

There is no way that I will follow such a shallow self absorbed person, who thinks he is a leader.

A magic carpet ride

My gift of words was inspired by author, Richard Bach, whose ability to take his reading audience with him on magical spiritual journeys amazes and delights me. My first taste of his remarkable talent was, Illusions, loaned to me by a friend, who also had a hand in my spiritual evolvement. I believe it was the spark that caused me to pursue a dream I didn't even know I had.

I think every writer was inspired by an author somewhere in their past. Perhaps it was someone famous, perhaps not. My first book, Wake up!, can be read from any spot, cover to cover, and it will make sense to the reader. That is quite an accomplishment for a first time author, especially since I was simply following my intuition. Back then I knew nothing about writing a book. 

A lesson I learned from Bach's writing is, always write from your heart. Write what you believe in and the world just might believe it too. Over the years I have gotten by with a lot, especially as a columnist for the Cibola Beacon in Grants, NM. A sneaky writer can slip ideas in that others might be reluctant to challenge. Sometimes it makes me laugh. I don't lie, but I have been known to bend the rules just a little because it keeps people on their toes.

So today I owe Richard Bach and his slightly off kilter mind a great big thank you.

I also owe my daughter a thank you too. Several years ago she made the comment, "I don't know anything about you." Her father came from a large family and she knew a lot about him from the stories they told. About ten years after I began writing, my only daughter stopped communicating with me, partly because she didn't like something I wrote. My message to her is, "Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer." 

I am going to continue doing what I am doing because I believe that is exactly what I am supposed to do, while I am a resident on this planet called earth.

Your pick

In a conversation with a friend this morning I said I really didn't care who wins the election. My friend said she did because she didn't want anyone messing with Social Security. According to her Biden would do that. Curious,I looked it up and discovered that Biden intended to raise taxes on the rich. Thinking back to her comment I wondered where she got her information from. She had made other comments that just sounded a bit fishy.

Due to the conversation I did rethink my comment that I no longer care who wins. I realized that I did want my candidate, Joe Biden to win. The reason is not so much for him, but for his choice of a running mate. Kamala Harris is more than qualified for the job because of her previous experiences. More than that I see the possibility of her eventually becoming the first female president of the United States. That is something I would like to see during my lifetime.

I really do not understand how Trump was elected in the first place. He had no qualifications to be president. It wasn't what he knows it was who he knows. Someone who has over and over been bankrupted should never hold the title of president of the United States. What kind of a leader is that?

Although my friend and I have different views about this election we respect each other's right to have them.    

To finish this post a couple of days later, it looks like Joseph Biden is the 46th president-elect of the United States. You go Joe!

A difference of opinion

 Yesterday my home repair person stopped by to take care of a minor problem with some work he had previously done. We had a little bit of time to talk about current events, including the election. We have different opinions about what is going on and who will win. As he was leaving I said, "Do you want to make a bet on the election?"

He stopped where he was and asked. "$10?"

As he came back to do a fist bump I added, "Or lunch."

He said, "That's even better!"

I figure no matter who wins we will both enjoy the lunch, making us both winners!

What's left?

 November first gives us two months left in 2020. There are still two major family holidays left. As the virus count goes up in each state people are asked to stay home and avoid large crowds. As I look around at my life that really isn't so difficult. Even though we still have Thanksgiving and Christmas to get through, being pretty much alone already, that doesn't change my activities much. 

Most of my biological family live in other states and the thought of sending a card or making a phone call is beyond their capabilities. If I even got a birthday card from anyone but my oldest son, who lives with me, I would be in shock.

Isolation really doesn't change my life. It is pretty much what I have been doing for years because the majority of my biological family do not acknowledge my existence. Family holidays have been a joke for years. What family? `

The only thing I am looking forward to in the next few weeks is an end to the political garbage! It will be really nice to turn on the TV or check into Facebook and not have to witness the name calling and the skeletons being drug out of closets. It will be interesting, during November, to see who will occupy the white house for the next four years. 

What is left in 2020 is anyone's guess. I for one, am just happy that I have been given the opportunity to stick around to see what will happen.   

Just in time

 It looks like things at my house were done just in time. The weatherman was right when he predicted snow in October for us. I am very happy the renovations on the house and my son's carport are finished.

Listening to the weatherman I also took care of some trim painting on the porch and redid the stain on the deck. In preparation for the predicted snow I racked up three bags of leaves Friday. I also made a trip to the grocery store Sunday because my intuition was telling me the warning was right. 

Here is proof of our current situation. I don't ever recall snow in October. It will be interesting to see how much we get.

  

Are you kidding?

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink runs through my mind today. Our tap water in Grants,NM is pretty yucky and we usually purchase bottled water to make coffee etc. We have or rather had a couple of places said water refills could be purchased by the gallon. Our local grocery store, a machine in front of the dollar store and Walmart were the only water machines that I know of. As of this morning none of them worked! I am getting tired of buying gallons of water at the grocery store. One can only store so many empty gallon jugs!

I'm not sure what is going on. It is just one more annoying thing to deal with in this time of troubles. What next I wonder?

and counting...

 It is only a little more than two weeks before the election. I will be so happy when the negative advertising stops. I don't understand why candidates can't say what they represent instead of running down the opposing candidate. I have lived through a lot of elections, but I don't remember another that was so dirty. The sad part is even when November 3rd comes around we still won't know who won because all the absentee ballots still need to be counted. The current president has stated that even if he loses he will not leave the white house. That should be interesting! I don't remember a time when the outgoing president was arrested. It could happen!

Whatever happens with the current election I will be very happy when it is over.

Finished

 After several weeks and several thousand dollars our renovation projects are finished. Never saw so much money go so fast! Ar least I will never have to do it again in my lifetime! My house actually looks better than it did when it was new and I am sure it will be a lot warmer this winter with the improved paneling and pro panel on the skirting.

Even though I hadn't expected my son to be still living with me, he is, and he needs a secure place to park his car. He had a carport built behind the garage for that purpose. 

It looks as if we are secure for not only the winter, but for years to come. It also looks as if I won't be moving anytime soon!

Your choice I guess

 Yesterday seeking a gallon of paint to paint a door and screen door I went into Diamond G, a local store. As I was waiting for someone to show up at the paint desk I noticed a woman walking all over the store- without a mask. I was really tempted to ask her, what in the hell did she think she was doing. I kept my mouth shut and tried to stay away from her. Apparently the store and the lady didn't get the message that masks are required.

Finally getting someone to wait on me I was told the gallon of paint I needed would be $48. I calmly said no thanks, I'll get it somewhere else. I then proceeded to our local Walmart  to see what they had to offer. I made a good choice because I found what I needed for $24. I was also happy to have found a clerk who knew what he was selling. I don't plan on ever going to Diamond G again! 

Last wish

First I want to state that I am neither a republican or a democrat. I vote for the person not the party.  

I am appalled with what the current POTUS has gotten away with. One of the latest moves is horrendous! On her death bed Justice Ruth Ginsburg asked that her replacement be put off until the new president is elected. Always needing to be in charge, Trump rushed to nominate Judge Amy Barrett to fill her shoes. 

Now that he has been diagnosed with the virus it would be so cool if he was paid back. If he doesn't survive I can hear him pleading with his followers, "Vote for me anyway, I'll be back."

Looking back

Trying to stay busy while all the pounding was going on outside my house I decided to read my second Amazon E-book, "Journey of an Enlightened Egotist". It is still available for $2.99 and so far has never been moved to a hard copy book. Something happened with the paragraph indention, which doesn't make me happy as a perfectionist, but it does not change the information offered. As I read what I wrote, when it was published, I once again asked myself, did I write that? I was amazed at the wisdom shared.

Anyway, I began reading the book backwards. I found several things worth quoting, but I would like to share one in particular. "At the beginning of my conscious spiritual journey I wondered aloud what a soul looked like. At the time I thought it was a good question. Now I understand that a soul is the invisible essence of who we are. A soul is the continually evolving part of us most like our Creator."

Moving on

 The renovation project is moving along. They are almost finished with the siding, then new skirting and paint. As an extra I decided to have them remove the trailer hitches that have been on the end of the house since 1977. I will now have a house instead of a trailer! It is something that should have been done years ago.

When I look back at all the renovation that has been done in the last couple of years I can't believe what I have managed to accomplish. I think it is all because of the fact that I do not live above my means. I never do anything that I can't pay for in a reasonable length of time. 

Over the years I have given a lot of thought to moving into town. Apparently that is something I am not supposed to do. Perhaps I got mixed messages about what "new" meant. It looks like I am staying here for the duration of my life.

Making progress

Making progress. The front and end are done, at least the siding is. When that is all finished and painted I need to fork over more money to replace the skirting. When all that is finished it should look like a new house. A few months ago the roof was replaced and before that, most of the carpet. Whew that's a lot of money for someone basically living on Social Security! If it wasn't for the rent my oldest son pays me this would never have been possible. It's good that I have one child that gives a damn.  

I am not terribly happy about what the workers did to my shrubs, but I suppose they will grow back. In the spring I am going to do some planting in the front of the house. It looks pretty bare now. I'm thinking of moving a small dwarf tree from the back yard to the front. Maybe, maybe not.

Following my intuition, which has been knocking at the door to my mind this week, I purchased a NM lottery ticket. I figured why not? I could certainly use the money about now. If I win anything big don't expect me to report back! 

That's my week's progress. Things can only get better from here on.

 

 

Changes

 This is going to be an interesting week, full of changes.

I have been waiting for several weeks for Garcia Services to have time to address the siding on my house. After over 40 years a lot of it needs replacing. The week has finally come to do the job. Having already replaced the roof and old carpets it will be like having a new house. Not having a ton of money, jobs had to be done when I could afford them. I refuse to be in debt!

Next, my son will be taking part of the vacation he has coming to him and will take his new camper on a trip. I might not be going anywhere, but it will give me a vacation too. No meal planning- yea! I will have my house to myself for almost a week. Not sure what I am going to do with my time, but I suspect some of it might be used to write. Perhaps a new book is in the offering. I wouldn't be surprised!

Even though changes are coming many things will stay the same. It's like mixing up a brand new recipe.

H1N1

 History certainly does repeat itself. I recently discovered that my maternal grandfather died of the Spanish Flu in 1918, at a Washington State Army base. That means my maternal grandmother, mother, father and all other relatives alive at that time survived a pandemic that lasted two years. I would think something that important would have been discussed at sometime during my life by someone. No, not a peep!

Talk about a closed mouth group!

Perhaps I should write about this pandemic so that my future generations would not find out about it as a surprise. I believe I would title it, "Surviving in Plain Sight".  

It's cold in here

 Yesterday the temperature dropped at least 40 degrees plus there is smoke in the sky from fires in adjoining states. What a difference a day makes! I dealt with the cold all day, but finally gave in and turned the furnace on. I kept the windows and doors closed to keep the smoke out of the house. 

I feel really sorry for the people who have lost their homes because of the fires. In this pandemic, where are they supposed to go? Entire towns have been destroyed by fire. The constant high winds are adding to the problem. The things that are going on are unbelievable! 

Even though the temperature dropped I am grateful to be living in a little town that only has to stay away from the virus to be safe.

Conversations

 This has been an interesting week. I had three real conversations with three real people. Yes!

The first was Wednesday when I met with my chiropractor for an adjustment. In addition to what is going on with my body I learned about how her mother is doing. She is my age and apparently doing great with no signs of arthritis. When she came to this country she decided she didn't like the American diet and stuck to what had always worked for her. It's probably too late for me.

Next on Friday I had a great conversation with my hearing aid person. I had been having trouble with one and it needed adjustment. I had to laugh when he came into the room and asked if I liked eggs. Surprised, I laughed and asked if he had chickens. This led to a long conversation about his family when he was young and lived in Texas. Information was also added about his wife, who is a teacher. 

The third conversation was this morning when I had a hair appointment. My hairdresser is also an aid at one of our local elementary schools. We had a conversation about how difficult it is to work online, while trying to keep track of her own children. I like conversations with her because we seem to be on the same wave length and know some of the same people, especially children. Her nephew and my youngest grandson are friends and in the past played on the same basketball teams.

Most of my days are made up of conversations with my two cats and dog. They don't talk much. My oldest son, who lives with me doesn't talk much either! So it was a pleasant change to have three real conversations with three real people!

 

Gratitude

This morning I am grateful to be living in Grants, NM. The worst weather wise that we might have is a little extra snow once in a while. We don't have hurricanes, tornadoes or earthquakes. I feel very sorry for the families who have been left homeless in this pandemic. Yesterday I was listening to a man, living in Texas, who said he had to decide if it was safer to stay in the wake of hurricane Laura or take a chance of ending up with the virus in a shelter. What a choice!

Yes, the social distancing for almost six months sucks, but I don't also have to worry about my house being destroyed too.

Choices

I have been careful during the last five months because according to statistics my age puts me at risk for the virus. I was hesitant when I chose to go back to my chiropractor, but I needed to resume the treatment plan I had left behind. I was happy to see that precautions, set up by the Governor, were being followed.

Since my last adjustment I have been having a serious problem with my sciatic nerve. I knew I had an appointment on the 24th, but I called last week to see if I could get in sooner. I discovered that the office was closed all week. Yesterday the receptionist called to remind me of my appointment. I was told the office had been closed because the chiropractor went to Florida to see her mother.

It is mandatory that anyone coming into New Mexico from another state quarantines for 14 days. She apparently doesn't think that applies to her because she is a "doctor". I am pretty sure medical doctors are exempt if they are traveling for professional reasons. In this case she isn't and wasn't!

So now I have to decide if I am going to keep my appointment on the morning following her arrival  back in New Mexico or deal with the pain that won't go away. I don't think I have much choice since she is the only chiropractor in town.

I hope I have made the right choice. I have a feeling someone is going to report her choice.

Fiction or not

I just picked up the Kindle book, "The Back Door Man" by Dave Buschi. It is apparently about a time when everything depending on electricity is shut down. Although it is fiction it could happen. Who would have thought back in March we would be dealing with a pandemic that would change the way we live? I have often thought that if another country wanted to cripple the U.S. all they would have to do is disable the electricity.

If it wasn't for Benjamin Franklin and his kite, back in 1879, a lot of things just wouldn't be. The only money we would have is what is in our purse/wallet because there would be no ATM's The news would be person to person; no phones, TV or Facebook. If we wanted to cook something we would have to build a fire. Washing clothes, you better have a big tub and a clothesline.

Thinking about going back to a time when things were a bit tougher than they are now, I wonder what modern convenience I would miss the most?

Changes

I see it has been a week since my last post and I am thinking, have there been any changes? Nope not much.

My only communication with the outside world is Facebook, the grocery store and an occasional phone call to a friend. That's a great social life!

I would like to get out in the yard and pull some weeds, but because I have been dealing with a skin problem I have been told by my dermatologist to stay out of the sun. That's not so easy with the hottest summer we have had in years. Not having AC makes that fun too.

My oldest son lives with me, but he goes to work, comes home, eats dinner and I don't see him for the rest of the night. He might as well not even live here. I must say the rent money is nice though. It has allowed me to make necessary renovations to my house. Everything has pros and cons.

Well that's my life for the last five months since the pandemic raised its ugly head last March. 

The little camper goes camping

My son, who works at one of our local prisons, has four weeks vacation coming this year. Because of the pandemic he has only taken a day or two for appointments. Recently he purchased a small camper with the thought of using it for short trips etc. Two weeks ago he made a reservation to camp for two nights at a camp ground on Mt.Taylor. It was meant to be a trial run to make sure everything worked. Unfortunately, it rained all weekend and the trip had to be canceled. This weekend he will try again. A weekend trip to an Albuquerque camp site will be the maiden voyage for the little camper!

While he is away I also get a short vacation of sorts. At least I will have the house to myself for a couple of days. I guess that's not exactly true. I do have two cats and a dog to care for.

Just think about it

After not being able to use my internet or land phone for several days due to a Century Link problem I decided to use word and composed a little piece to add to my online group,"Let's Chat". The following is what I wrote to explain my absence from the group.

Missing from action

In case you haven’t noticed I have been missing from this group for the last few days. Although it was interesting to see what would happen it was not intentional. It seems Century Link decided it was time for me to take a break. Neither my internet nor my land phone had power. For the last five months, dealing with the pandemic, social media had been my main source of communication with the world at large. My dog and cats don’t talk that much!

Actually my phone wasn’t a great loss. It was a pleasant change not to deal with all the unwanted spam calls I had been getting. I do have a track phone for emergencies, but rarely use it. It is how I called for help from Century Link and was told it would be several days before they could fix the problem in the line.

As far as my computer goes I remembered that I could still use Word to write, which is how I am composing this piece. Where there is a will there is a way, they say. Even though I can’t use Netflix I can watch Hallmark movies on TV and I have a Kindle to catch up on the books I have stored there. Reading some of my word documents actually amazed me at how good they are and I once again asked myself- did I write that?

Before this new disaster, the first thing in the morning I would grab a cup of tea and check on what was happening on Facebook and the groups I belong to. That was a really hard habit to break. Instead, I turned on Good Morning America to see what was going on in the world. After viewing the horrible things that were occurring elsewhere I decided I could deal with the loss of the internet and my phone for a few days.

I also decided it was a good opportunity to see if anyone noticed that I was missing from action. I know my family wouldn’t. Perhaps this situation was simply to remind me that family is more than biology.

I accidentally noticed a day early that the Century Link line problem is fixed. Yay!! It’s great to be back!     

Attitude counts

Until about twenty years ago I lived my life as a "back up person". I mentally supported two now deceased ex-husbands and three children. In 1997 my last child graduated from high school and in 1999 my second divorce took place. I was finally free to figure out who I wanted to be. It took several years to make the plunge into an area I really knew nothing about.

I began writing this blog in November 2009. Until that day I didn't even know what a blog was. It reminded me of an experience I had in 2000. A couple of friends decided that I was the perfect person to be the new Resource Development Coordinator at our local Good Samaritan Center. I had never heard of the job, but interviewed and that's what I became. I plunged right in as if I knew exactly what I was doing. The same thing happened when I was asked to write a column for the then, Cibola County Beacon. Twenty years ago I had no clue that I was a writer. Apparently I was because I am still writing.

This morning I was listening to friends talking about the movie,"Forrest Gump". They concluded that even though people thought he was a looser, he became a success at whatever he chose to do, because impossibility never occurred to him.

After all these years of wondering if anyone actually appreciated the fact that I was no longer a "back up person" I received an unsolicited compliment from a friend that I didn't even know noticed what I was doing. This is what she had to say. "You are a thoughtful creative writer who likes to throw out ideas to get people to think. I enjoy your posts. They bring up ideas that are unique and thought provoking. Keep it up!"

A greeter

As customers enter our local Walmart, in addition to the sign saying, please wear a mask to enter the store, they are greeted by a young lady saying, "Thank you for wearing a mask". When I asked the girl if she ever got tired of saying that she answered, "it's my job". It made me angry and I am not sure exactly why. So I decided to explore the reason.

It made me feel like a little child being acknowledged for doing something I had been told to do. It made me angry. I wasn't a child and I was intelligent enough to follow the rules, without earning a Walmart badge!

Years ago I was a Walmart greeter who stood at the door and said, "Welcome to Walmart". The job ended abruptly when I was told I had to work the night shift, even though they previously agreed I did not have to. I lived alone, about a  mile outside the city, and didn't feel comfortable driving home after midnight. I later began working for a marketing company and executed food demos at the same store for several years, eventually becoming a supervisor for that company.

Due to the pandemic, I now rarely go to Walmart, except to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy. I prefer shopping at Smith's and Family Dollar. The checkers are nicer and I know where everything is located. By the way, both stores also have signs stating a mask is needed, but they have no reason to hire someone saying, "Thank you for wearing a mask"!

Thank you to both stores for treating me like the adult that I am! 

Father, Son, Holy Spirit

I know God is in three persons- Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I have had a personal connection with the Father since I was a child and due to increased spiritual knowledge I believe in the Holy Spirit. I have a hard time believing and connecting with the Son.

I have a clear memory of surgery I had at about five or six. I was siting on the knee of a being I always thought was God the Father. Today I know that can't be as that entity has no body. I was asked if I wanted to return to my life or stay where I was. Apparently I agreed to go back because that is what I did.

Today I am wondering if the reason I can't accept Jesus is because I blame him for what I have been forced to endure during my 82 years of living on earth? Could be.

At war

I just finished reading "Burn District #1" by Suzanne Jenkins. I couldn't have found a book that more closely resembles what is going on in the United States right now. Life as they knew it led a family to flee to another part of the country and begin again because of the corrupt state of the government. Sound familiar? It did to me. The only thing I didn't care for was that guns became more important than money. I hope our current situation doesn't reach that level.

Till death do us part

In all the years I have been old enough to vote I have never before heard people wish a president dead-until now. There must be something really rotten going on in the white house for this to happen.

I don't like the current president. In fact every time I see his picture on Facebook or watch/listen to him on TV I just want to throw up, but I don't wish him dead. I don't understand how such a horrible self centered person could have been elected in the first place. I recently wrote that it reminds me of Jonestown, 1978. People followed a man who led them to their death, by simply drinking Kool Aid.

People who don't have confidence in themselves can believe anything. 

No matter how corrupt a person is I don't believe it is our job to wish them dead. I think God will take care of that when the right time comes.     

Healing

I just watched the Netflix movie, The Healer. It was a really good movie, but it left me with a question. If God gave me the gift of healing others would I accept it?

That's not an easy question to answer. If I said yes I could imagine tons of people knocking on my door when the word got out. I suppose that would be one way of making my friend list grow, but it would also entail a whole lot of responsibility.

What if the reason people have health issues to deal with is God's plan for them to become stronger? I don't think everything is meant to be easy. I'm not sure I would want to make the decision of who to heal and who to leave just as I found them.

I think I am leaning toward saying, "Thanks, but no thanks. I will leave the healing up to you!"

Logic

I am aware that there are many New Mexicans who do not like our governor, but I think she is doing a good job of trying to keep the virus count down in our state. It has to be tough when numbers are spiking in neighboring states. If people would just follow the rules for safety, things would settle down.
In a town that was already dying I realize it is a matter of life and death for the little businesses. I asked myself why them when bigger businesses are allowed to stay open?
I think the difference is a larger business like Walmart or a chain grocery store is run by a corporation. If you don't follow the rules you will be fired. A small business basically makes their own rules and can put others at risk if they for instance, aren't wearing a mask.
So wearing a mask is something we all need to get used to, but would you rather wear one or be dead or cause someone else to die?
If you don't like the rules our governor has set up for your safety, that's just tough. You can always move to a state with a higher virus count!

Trust

Trust is an interesting word. I think it is something that has to be earned. In a real world our first experience with trust is with the person who delivers us. Don't drop me! I suppose we then begin by trusting our parents or care giver if they are there for us when we need them. Some of us move on to friends and associates we gather through our life. I think our experiences teach us who we can trust and who we can't.

Over time we learn who is reliable and who is not. Many people trust an unseen being, who may or may not have a body. That's pretty much called faith. To have complete trust in this being is sometimes a leap of faith. It is often difficult to let go of control and just trust.

During my life I have also learned to trust certain brand names such as: Tide, Gold Medal, Dove and Friskies, to name a few. They have earned my trust by being reliable over time.

One of my favorite things to trust is the Archangel Raphael. He is the master healer. Whenever I am feeling a lack of confidence I call on him to join me wherever I am. He has never failed to assist me. That is ultimate trust!

So trust comes in many forms and I do think it has to be earned.

Who pushed you?

I love Facebook and the people who have become friends over time. It is one of the places that I obtain subconscious messages to continue this blog. I have learned to pay attention and follow my intuition.

This morning an old friend whom I recently re-connected with posted a very inspiring piece about life being simple. It contained an analogy that stood out for me and caused me to think back in my life and ask myself, who pushed you? What he wrote in part was: "Even though a baby bird is born to fly it often needs to be pushed from the nest because it is unaware of its incredible abilities."

For me the year 2000 was the year someone pushed me out of my not so comfortable nest and forced me to think for and depend on myself. Before that I had pretty much lived for my two ex-husbands and my three children, especially my youngest. It was the year I began expressing myself in writing. Over the years it has caused some people to leave me behind and spread their own wings. Perhaps that was what it was supposed to do. 

In my current life there have been two men (not married to either one) who because of who they were, pushed me out of the nest. I will be forever grateful to both of them, even though at the time I thought they were first class jerks! Wrong!!

One word

A friend's online group asked the question this morning, "In one word how would you describe 2020?" Without giving it much thought I answered "opportunities".

To some that  might be a strange answer. A lot of people wrote negative words.

I feel that this is an unusual opportunity to regroup.As I have said before I feel bad for those people I have known who left before the big show. I was thinking this morning of a local friend who left earth in 2007. She survived the hacking away of her body parts due to diabetes, but nobody could destroy her positive attitude. I know she would laugh at what is going on and do everything in her power to make her life better. She would use the opportunity to grow. She is my idea of a roll model.

Progress

I made my first trip out of Grants in over four months today. I had an appointment with my dermatologist in Albuquerque. I was a little nervous about going to the big city, but I had some things that needed checking. As it turned out, everyone was wearing a mask and there weren't many patients in the waiting room. I got to see a new PA and liked her so much I asked to be transferred to her patient list.

After the appointment we stopped off at an Arby's drive though for a little lunch, then pulled into a parking lot to eat.

Back home and waiting for a pick up call for a new prescription from Walt-mart.

Independence

Our forefathers did not fight for our independence for us to become sheep led to a slaughter house. It is our responsibility to weigh information coming to us through various sources and believe what makes sense to us. Keeping in mind that any choice we make carries its own consequences. 

As I am sure you all know by now, my intuition is always my guide because I believe it is directly connected to Source.

Traveling lies

I just finished reading the book, "It Happened in the Mining Town", by Adela Pilowsky. I was attracted to the book because the town that I live in was a uranium mining town when we moved here in 1976.

The story involved lies that were told over several generations. They were set free at the end of the book. The lies affected everyone and tore family relationships apart.

There have been lies in my family, which is no doubt why I was supposed to read this book. It's much like the situation with the current pandemic. It is difficult to know who or what to believe. I have concluded the best we can do is follow our own intuition. 

Faith vs. fear

Quite often the idea for a blog post comes from something a friend has said that has made me think about my own life. I think that's the way the universe works, if we pay attention. This happened today when listening to someone talk about which came first, faith or fear.

I have no memory of going to church as a young child. My parents were not religious. Between ages five and six I developed an ear infection and it led to surgery. Apparently I was not expected to live. I don't recall being afraid, even though I was admitted to the hospital the night before the big event. I don't even remember if my parents stayed with me that night. The next morning I remember being left alone on a gurney outside the operating room. That was scary and I believe it led to years of feeling abandoned. I still was not afraid of the surgery.

I now have reason to believe that during the operation I had an out of body experience. I remember sitting on the knee of a man who asked me if I wanted to stay with him or continue to live my life. I apparently agreed to go on living because 82 years later I am still here.

To this day I remember that after I came home I had developed a strong personal relationship with the man I now believe was my Creator. Up to that point I had never been taught anything about God. I somehow knew about the life/death experience. I believe that is when faith began for me.

I have always had a personal relationship with God that has never needed a building or a man behind a pulpit.

Fear, on the other hand, no doubt developed gradually because I simply forgot to have faith. It seems I need an attitude adjustment. I can do that!

Change is good

Wearing a mask, I took care of my yearly eye exam yesterday, to satisfy the MVD. It was four months early because my optometrist is retiring this month. I have been going to this same man for over forty years. As I left the office I made the comment, "I guess this is the last time I will ever come into this building". Even though the staff laughed it made me a little sad.

I am slowly getting back to a different view of normal. I previously mentioned that I resumed a treatment plan with my chiropractor. It had been put on hold due to the pandemic. I have been seeing her since she came to Grants, NM, eleven years ago. Before that I had been seeing someone who had also retired to take care of his wife.

The next step on getting back to a little more normal is a visit to my dermatologist in another week. I have a recurring problem that if I don't get it taken care of will become worse. I am not thrilled with the PA I was seeing before the pandemic so I am secretly hoping she will not be the person to do the exam. Nothing she previously prescribed fixed the problem I am having.

During the last few months I have been able to take care of some renovations on my house. Not spending money elsewhere has allowed me to save more than usual, which in turn has allowed me to get the needed work done.

I have come to the conclusion that change is not always a bad thing. The bad thing is that our minds resist change, but the mind can be retrained!