Imagination

In encouraging my writing camp students to use their imagination I asked them to give a voice to something that didn't have one.The more interesting were a couch and a car. Below is my contribution: my dog, Ejay.

A Dog’s Tale

Hello humans, my name is Ejay. Some of you may know a little about me because my mom writes about me on Facebook. More than one picture of me has appeared there too. Most people think I am adorable. Wait, guys can’t be adorable. Maybe handsome is a better description.

I was born somewhere in Cibola County, New Mexico in February 2012. I don’t remember much about my first home or if I had siblings because I ran away from home when I was about 10 months old. I was picked up by animal control and spent three weeks in a facility that housed other dogs and cats. I was put in a cage with a roommate, waiting for my family to come and take me home. It never happened, although they were contacted.

Finally, an ad was placed in the local paper with my picture. I was apparently ready for adoption- yay! I thought, please someone come and get me. I don’t like it here. I will be good, I promise!

A couple of days later the lady who was to become my new mom came to check me out. She looked at me, I looked at her and wagged my tail- a lot! I was taken out of the cage and it was love at first sight. After all the paper work was finished, I was officially adopted.

After my new mom led me to her car I hopped up on the front seat to get a better view. As I did that my mom noticed a piece of wire attached to my belly. She was able to remove it and we were off to the office of the local vet for a quick visit and to get my shots. We also set up an appointment for neutering. I found out what that was a bit later. I will keep my opinion about that to myself. Finally arriving at my new home I discovered I had acquired a fur sister and brother. There was something strange about them though. They didn’t know how to bark and made meowing sounds. They did have four legs and a tail though!

I found that I had a pretty big yard to roam around in. It looked as if I was going to have fun chasing birds and wild rabbits. I discovered that, Smokey, my fur brother, enjoyed catching mice.

My first night in my new home was rather scary. My new mom put me in her bathroom with a blanket, food and water. It was dark in there and I kept throwing myself against the door in hopes she would let me out. That lasted one night. From then on I slept in a basket with a very comfortable pillow, right next to my mom’s bed.

I am grateful that I have had a comfortable home to live in and humans to love me. Thank goodness for the picture that connected me and my mom!

I Killed My Best Friend

 Every now and then I like to post this document I wrote several years ago in hopes it will cause someone else to think, so here it is:

 

            I KILLED MY BEST FRIEND

 

For a variety of reasons I grew up having very little self-esteem. When I graduated from high school I had no clue what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. I had been an average student who finished school because it was expected. At 19 I was a very lonely person who desperately needed a best friend.

 

The friend I choose for the next forty years was three inches tall, smelled bad, controlled my life and led me in the direction of poor health. The relationship was what would be considered abusive today. At the beginning no one warned me of danger and in all those years nobody offered to help me let go of my destructive companion.

 

There were of course, those who shook their heads and fingers at me making rude comments about how disgusting this relationship was. They probably thought they were helping, but they only made me angry and caused me to stubbornly refuse to let go.

 

When I was 62 years old I looked in the mirror and did not like what I saw. I decided I did not deserve to be controlled by an object that could not possibly move from my hand to my mouth without my help. I realized I was the only one who could end the relationship and I have never been sorry that I did.

 

Believe me when I say, the only way you will successfully stop smoking or any other negative addiction is to become self centered and care about yourself. Whoever you are, believe that you are a valuable person who deserves the very best life has to offer.

 

There are many people around you who want to help. The hardest thing you have to do is learn to care about yourself and be willing to accept their help. I know from personal experience that once you do that the rest is a breeze.

 

Do you really want a best friend who is three inches tall, smells bad, controls your life and is leading you in the direction of poor health and perhaps death? If the answer is no, follow my example and give yourself permission to live the healthy life you deserve.

 

 

.

 

Questions

Recently I have been asking a question a day on Facebook. I am amazed at the response I am getting from people I haven't heard from lately. Today's question really got me thinking. It was" What was the most challenging part of childhood?"My answer was- fitting in. After awhile I realized I have never fit in with the rest of the world. Perhaps that's a good thing! 

The one thing I have always hated is lies. Unfortunately I married two men who loved to lie. Two of my children have lied to me and maybe that's why they no longer speak to me.

You did good

A message "Freedom isn't Free"led me to remember something I wrote about while doing interviews for the Cibola Beacon. I looked up the two stories involved and think the people I interviewed may not be living now. In reading the two stories, which were husband and wife, I realized what a good writer I am. Every single story was approved by the person I wrote about. After four years another editor took over and wanted to change something I wrote. I said NO and that ended our relationship.I did go on writing but not for the paper. It just dawned on me that some of the people I interviewed may now be deceased. How cool is it that I got to write their story just as they wanted it to appear?

Blood test

I had to wait all week for the results of my latest blood test. As it turned out I still need to take vitamins D and B 12 along with my normal BP medication. I guess that's not too bad for my age. There are many people taking a lot more than that. I am grateful for the outcome.

Gone

 I did some checking today on my ex husbands family. I was really surprised to find out how many that I thought were healthy are no longer living. Since it was mostly a Catholic family I pretty much skipped a lot of long masses. A couple still living appear really old. It does make me wonder why I am still here!

Questions

 A few days ago I decided to start something new on Facebook. I simply asked a question every day and waited to see who would post an answer. It reminded me of a past experience that I laugh about now. Someone asked me what I did and a friend said, "She asks questions." I should of listened!

Anyway today's question was: Who inspires you to be better? I waited for an answer and in the meantime thought about mine. This is what I wrote.

I think that's a really good question. Most people will probably say God or the Creator. That's a lot to put on one entity, considering how many people occupy the world. I am going with Spirit Guide or Archangel, both appointed by God to help humans evolve. My go to archangel is Raphael, the master healer. Next would be my soul mind that not only knows why I am here, but remembers every moment of my previous lives.

Gifts

 For the last few weeks it seems everyone on Facebook has been saying gifts of money, a new home, a new job etc. are right around the corner. I think it is really odd. It seems to be coming from everywhere. I really don't want any of that. All I want is friends and family who will talk to me.

Found but not lost

Following my intuition I was led to another bunch of photographs I had forgotten about. That makes a ton. Now I just need to know what I am supposed to do with them. Somebody must know and it would be nice if they clued me in. The pictures are really nice, by the way.

Finally

After months and months of looking at a big piece of machinery out my office window my neighbors moved it. It isn't completely out of view but at least I can now see the rest of the block and my little mountain. I just hope they aren't going to move something else in there.

OMG now the have three pieces of equipment parked in their front yard, blocking my view of the rest of the neighborhood. There must be a law!

Trash

I just dumped a ton of pictures in the trash. I went through each one, saved a few and if they didn't mean anything to me, they were dumped. Some of them were family of my ex husband. If they don't care about me why should I care about them? Anyway it felt good to get rid of this trash.

What next

I have been asking myself what am I supposed to do next. To help the cause I made a list of accomplishments so far in my long life. Amazing, but I am still asking, what am I supposed to do next. I really don't think my life is over. Here is the list I came up with to date..

Daughter, sister, wife, mother (2 husbands 3 children), room mother, Cub Scout leader, Masonic Leader (3 organizations), survived cancer, stopped smoking, columnist, Walmart demos, Good Sam employee, writer (2 hard cover books), blog writer, Facebook, bowel surgery, local writing class- children, local writing group- adults, Kindle author- 3 books, writing camp children, Foster Grandparent, Future Foundations employee, Spinal MRI, Facebook groups-3, brain MRI, Physical Therapy, Cataract surgery. I forgot I also crocheted and donated beanies to the new babies at the hospital and adult caps for the homeless.

I keep asking what is next, but so far I don't have an answer.

It's just wrong

There is so much wrong information on Ancestry.com it isn't even funny. People can put whatever they want on there and others regard it as truth. In my own case a niece showed up that I didn't know I had. She apparently didn't like the relatives she grew up with and hired someone to find something better. They picked my deceased brother, who as far as I know had one son. My nephew bought everything she said and decided to connect as a half sibling with the woman, who is 20 years or so older than he is. I would think he would at least question it. Instead, he accused me of not welcoming her into the family.

Good days and bad days

Today was a not so good day. Perhaps I was supposed to relax and didn't get the message. Several years ago I was diagnosed with spinal stenosis. One would think that would only affect the back. Wrong! At times it can affect the entire body. So days like today I just chalk up to making me appreciate the good days even more.

write a letter

I saw something on Facebook yesterday that I decided to follow. It was if you didn't have a chance to say goodbye to someone deceased write them a letter. My mother was in a coma when I last saw her. The nurse said. "tell her you love her, she will hear you". For several reason I didn't follow her instructions. She died in 1987 and it has bothered me every since. So I took the Facebook suggestion and wrote her a letter. I then rolled it up and set it on fire. Afterward I felt much better. I am not sure if it helped her, but it helped me.

Along the same lines, I wrote my daughter a letter. She had refused to communicate for 13 years and even moved to another State without telling me. I noticed that she has never changed her email address so After I wrote the letter I sent it to her as a message. Someday she will read it and possibly change her mind about me. It is the only thing I could do as nobody would give me her current address.

Following my intuition

Yesterday was a bad computer day. I evidently clicked on something I wasn't supposed to. It caused a Trojan Virus. Oh wonderful I thought. The last time this happened my son fixed it. He is not available for the next few weeks. Nothing changed what was on the screen. Well shit!

I called a friend whose son had fixed a computer problem I had several years ago. After several hours of no contact I finally reached him. Our conversation ended after he decided he couldn't fix my current problem. He suggested turning the computer off, which I did. Next I called another friend whose brother sometimes fixes computers. It was decided the computer would be picked up this morning and transferred to Albuquerque. Last night I did my best to unplug what I could. I felt I had lost my best friend because I use the machine every day.

This morning I decided maybe I should plug everything back in as I didn't know what was actually needed for the repair. I also turned it on and just for the hell of it I checked to see what would happen. I was in shock when everything came up and there was no evidence of a virus. 

At first I decided I had a guardian angel. I have since decided it was the fact that I followed my intuition, which was very strong. If I hadn't done that I would have been without my computer for an entire week.  

A voice from the past

I have been going through some things and doing some sorting. This morning I ran across this gem that appeared in the Cibola County Beacon sometime in 2000. I couldn't resist re-posting the message.

Dear Editor,

This is an appeal to the citizens of Grants and surrounding areas. Please return my first name. It is not Mrs.. It was Barbara when I was born and I need it back. Donald Gunn, a.k.a. Don or Donnie and I have been divorced since July 9, 1999.

I have lived in this town for 24 years, know almost everyone and have  two jobs in public relation fields. I would think, word of mouth being what it is, people would have noticed I am no longer married.

I would go to the top of Mt Taylor and yell, "my name is no longer Mrs.", but since my divorce I no longer yell.

I am a freestanding, self sufficient female, only responsible for myself, my dog, Buffy, who is unfortunately pregnant and my cat Cleo, who couldn't get pregnant if she wanted to.

Please, my name is Barbara not Mrs.

 

The ending

 I really like the way my Amazon book, "Adventures of a Chosen Messenger", ended. 

"You can't control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at the moment, which has nothing to do with you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.

We are all created with a purpose and there is not one other person exactly like you. When you find your passion you will know your purpose, no matter how long that takes. Good luck with that!

Happy Valentines Day 2024

 

 

Pure Love

 

I will love you forever and ever

I will defend you against your enemies

I will support you when you are weak

I will cry with you when you are hurt

I will warn you when I see danger

I will teach you anything I know

I will listen quietly as you teach me

I will pray with you and for you

I will hold you if you need comfort

I will feed you when you are hungry

I will help you live but will not live for you

I will respect your right to your freedom

I will love you forever and ever.