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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Is this the year?

The trail of deaths in my family occurring in years ending in the number 7 is amazing. Since this is 2017 I am wondering if it is my turn.

My paternal grandfather died in 1937, the year I was born. A paternal uncle in 1947, my paternal grandmother in 1957, my father in 1967 and my mother in 1987.

Back in 2007 when I was writing my book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist, I also noticed this trend and asked the same question as the year flowed into 2008. Nothing happened. Whew!

One of my ex-husband's cousins did die unexpectedly recently. Maybe that counts. It made me a little nervous as he was about the same age as my oldest son.

Before I go any further I do realize that we do not die, we simply leave our bodies behind and go back to where we came from, the spirit world.

The year 2017 is almost half over and I am again asking is it my turn? Even though I have had some physical stuff pop up lately I am actually enjoying the challenge of doing my part to fix them.

I am not ready to leave earth quite yet. I know there are still important things left for me to do. I would be very happy to stick around until 2027 or even 2037 if I could leave as a happy healthy 100!

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Prayers

Reading a friend's blog post about an encounter with a person who asked to pray for her reminded me of an experience in my own life. Oddly it happened in 2011, right before I met the person for the first time who wrote the blog post I just read.

Everything is connected- believe it!

My story:
In the fall of 2011 I was kidnapped by Cibola General Hospital for two weeks following unexpected surgery for a blocked bowel. The nursing staff kept assuring me my doctor would let me go home any day. Right!! Apparently he didn't get the message.

I had a special male nurse named Teddy. He made me laugh when he said he was my very own Teddy. That was a detour, now on with my story. He often relayed tidbits that I probably wasn't supposed to know.
One night Teddy gave me some information from my doctor's notes. He told me if my body didn't start behaving I was going to have to have followup surgery. NO!!!!!

The next day I heard voices in the hall and noticed a woman who was a cousin of my ex-husband. She and a friend were making hospital calls, praying for the patients. I'm not going to say I have never prayed, but not on a regular schedule. Anyway they came into my room and asked if I wanted to pray with them. I shared that I might have to have a second surgery and replied, "You can pray FOR me if you want to."

I'm not sure if it worked or not but the next day my body decided to start behaving and the second surgery was not necessary. It is also the day I met the woman whose blog I just read. She was on a trip to visit someone and decided to stop by the hospital and check on me. We are Facebook friends and have been friends ever since. You might know her as Lois. She often comments on my blog.

The healing continues

My son had a followup appointment for his finger wound this morning and has been released to go back to work. The stitches come out next Tuesday. ( See previous post if confused.) Because he is a case manager in a prison he has been cautious. He said anything one could expect to find germ wise can be found in a prison. Even though he doesn't need to keep it wrapped anymore he will still use a finger cover while at work.

My unexpected gout attack has decided to leave me alone. Although very painful it lasted for a little less than a week with medication. (Also see previous post if confused.) I still have no idea what caused it. I don't drink alcohol and the list of foods that are known to cause it don't really fit. It may not ever happen again and I am refusing to take medication for the rest of my life until I have more information. A blood test does show a high level of uric acid, but not over the normal level.

Tuesday I went back to physical therapy for my shoulder (rotator cuff problem), which is getting better. I had to cancel one session because my foot was so swollen I couldn't stand to do the exercises, although I did what I could at home. I didn't want to start all over again when I went back to therapy. No more excuses! 

The healing continues and as my friend Lois always says- onward and upward! I may need to change that to "moving on"!

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

An unfortunate chain of events.

The universe has gone out of its way to prove that everything is connected. Every action has a reaction and I guess it depends on the kind of person you are just how you will react.

I had recently ordered a tee shirt for my grandson and it finally arrived. I had left a couple of phone messages asking him to come and pick it up. He only lives two doors from me. The shirt was what my mother would have called "an unbirthday gift". It was for no reason except I thought he would like to wear it. I waited several days and he didn't respond. I thought he might be out of town.

My son was going to town on an errand and I asked him to drop it off on his way.

The door was opened by his sister, her known to be mean dog and my grandson. My son delivered the shirt and for some reason reached down to pet the dog, who I understand was growling. He always growls. The dog decided to bite the hand that was attempting to pet him. My son pulled his hand away and the dog's teeth left a 3" gash along a finger on his left hand.

Admittedly I wasn't there so this is second hand information.

To continue the tale. My daughter apparently provided some gauze to wrap around the wound which by then was dripping blood. My son managed to come home and we cleaned up the wound a little and proceeded to go to the ER to have it looked at. BTW his insurance deductible is $250 per ER visit. His finger was in really bad shape.

It really annoyed me that his sister never even called to see how he was. After making sure the wound was covered as much as possible and treating it with an antibiotic he went to work Monday at the prison where he and his sister are both employed. His sister informed him that the bite was not her fault. Her house, her dog, but it wasn't her responsibility.

He was able to have the wound checked out at the doctor's office yesterday. He was also told, since it was still dripping fluid, that he couldn't go back to work until tomorrow, hopefully. In addition to the other expenses this is using up some of his vacation time for this year.

The point of this post is I am wondering who is responsible for the bills it will create?

1. I feel somewhat responsible because I asked him to deliver the shirt which my grandson should have been responsible to have picked up
2. It was my daughter's dog, who was not restrained and did the deed.
3. Knowing the dog is basically mean my son should have ignored him.

Since my son is reluctant to give his sister a bill to submit to her house insurance I feel like I should at least offer to pay half of the ER bill to help him out. His reasoning, "I have to work with her". I can understand that but it isn't fair. 

I can't do anything about my daughter's lack of compassion except wonder what happened to cause it. If it had been my house and my dog I would have taken responsibility- no question!

P.S. In case you are wondering why I didn't deliver the shirt, I had an attack of gout and could barely get a shoe on for a couple of days.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Help I'm stuck in the kitchen!

Well another Mother's Day is about here and I can count on a gift from at least one of my three grown children. That would be my oldest son who has been living with me for almost three years. 90% of the time his gifts always seem to be focused on the kitchen.What the heck is going on here?

In recent years I have received a new microwave, a new electric griddle, a new kitchen faucet, a large set of plastic storage containers and a spice rack containing new spices (some of which I have never heard of).

This year he is installing a new cook top hood to match the new black appliances I just purchased and had installed. There was really nothing wrong with the old one unless you count 40 years of grease. I know he is trying to be helpful but these are the most interesting  gifts I have ever heard of.

At least I can count on my young grandson to give me a cool basket of flowers or a piece of jewelry, something more motherly. Considering that  this son is the only one of my three children who remembers that they have a mother I know I should be grateful for whatever he gives me.

Even though I do love to cook and really enjoy trying out new recipes that's not all I do. For one thing I write this blog! This year I decided to buy myself a gift. On a website I found a really cool shirt that pretty much says it all. So I ordered one for myself.

The message is "THAT'S WHAT I DO I COOK AND I KNOW THINGS" 

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Life goes on even when you don't

I've been taking a break and trying to get my house in better shape. We bought it new in 1977 so it is far from new.today, but still in pretty good shape considering. This last week I removed the entrance floor tiles and my son installed the new ones. I think it looks pretty nice and only cost about $40. Take a look.





The next project is the kitchen floor, which we will replace with sheet vinyl sometime this weekend. Picture later as right now it is still at Home Depot waiting for my son to pick it up this afternoon.  When that is installed the next project is removing the carpet in the living room, dinning room, two bedrooms and my office. That is going to be a very dusty mess, but I am tired of sneezing. It's been on the floors for years and it makes me laugh to think of the stories it could tell and the conversations it has witnessed.

In any case, that project will no doubt be done in sections or perhaps not. More on that later. After my divorce in 1999 I gradually replaced almost every piece of furniture, not all at once of course. I really don't understand the younger generation going into debt. Patience just doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary.

Besides working on our living conditions I just began a month of physical therapy to improve a shoulder problem. Once again I am very grateful for Cibola Sports and Physical Therapy right here in Grants, NM.  My therapist is extremely understanding and good at what he does. After only two sessions I already see progress.

It sure would be nice if my entire body would work at the same time. It's always a surprise when something new pops up. That's when I see Mike. When I look around at other people my age it's hard not to think I've done a pretty good job of taking care of myself. Okay my guide is probably thinking, "less sugar would be a good idea". I'm still working on that and I'm leaving it for another day.


Friday, April 28, 2017

I'm just a kid

I recently had a conversation with a teenager that I know well. He was stressed because he felt his stepfather was being too hard on him. I tended to agree but I didn't want to take sides. In my experience there is too much side taking in relationships by people who are not even part of the problem.

This young man is in my opinion doing a great job of growing up. He is trying to keep his grades up, he has a part time job after school and also does what he can to help out his community by volunteering. He has an interest in sports, skate boarding, music and has a great group of friends who do not do drugs. He also has specific chores to do at home. I wonder how much more can a parent ask of a teenager?

According to the young man his stepfather just got a promotion at work and is having difficulty adjusting. He is taking his frustration out on other people, especially his stepson.

As I said I was trying not to take sides as I listened to his complaints. I was very impressed when he said, "I'm just a kid trying to grow up." Perhaps his stepfather should remember that too.

I replied, "I know you are having a hard time right now and I feel bad about that. I think you should stand up for yourself, but don't talk back to your stepfather. Most of all remember how lucky you are to have him in your life and all of the things he has done for you."

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

God said no

Lately I have become angry with people who live by the quote "put it in God's hands" and then sit back and wait for him/her to take care of their current problem. Our Creator isn't some kind of a genie who will magically cure all. If that were the case the world would be in much better shape than it is; and if that were the case the lessons offered by the mess the world is in would not exist and neither would we.

I firmly believe in the quote "God takes care of those who help themselves".

Years ago a friend told me that she attends church, puts her problems in God's hands and when she leaves she takes them back. Now that made sense to me, perhaps not at the time though. She didn't expect God to do it all, she just needed a little breather to think.

Back in 2012 I took a hearing test and found out that hearing aides would be a great benefit to me. They were pretty expensive, considering my income. I didn't want to take money out of my savings. I could have sat back and prayed that they would magically drop down from the sky prepaid, of course. What I did instead was to take a part time job for a few months. Even though I did not like the job it paid for the hearing aides and I was debt free when it ended.

Something zipped past my Facebook newsfeed a few days ago that caught my attention.It was a little article titled, God Said No! As I read it I thought, Wow this is so good and pretty much the way I feel. Today I am sharing the message for you to think about.

I asked God to take away my habit. God said no. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said no. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. God said no. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said no.I give you blessings; happiness is up to you. I asked God to spare me pain. God said no. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said no. You must grow your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said no. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things. I asked God to help me LOVE others as much as He loves me. God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea. This day is yours don't throw it away...may God bless you.





Saturday, April 15, 2017

To extend a hand or not

All through life there are people we come across who need assistance. Of course, it would be impossible to help them all. There are a few instances that stand out in my mind and I am asking myself what made me choose those particular souls to help. For some time I have been aware that I have very strong intuition and I know it is the voice of my soul. Some refer to it as an inner voice. Whatever its name perhaps that is what sends up a flag to my conscious mind to help a particular person in need.

I am going to share a few such stories, not to spout off how generous I am, but to try to figure out just what pushes that little button in my mind that says- help this one please.

For the second time in as many months two different Facebook friends have needed financial assistance and without giving it a moment's thought I have donated what I could afford to their causes. I have been friends with both of these people for several years, although I have only briefly connected with one in person. I have over a hundred online friends and there are only a few that I would quickly rush to their assistance. Why, I wonder? I would consider both of these friends members of my spiritual tribe. Maybe that's it? Maybe not.

I don't always know the person. There is just something about them that gets my attention and causes me to help. One such experience occurred as I was having lunch with a female friend. Our waiter was a very nice young man who was feeling quite desperate as he related his personal story to us. His wife was ill, they were not getting any help, they had little money, the restaurant would be closing soon etc. What really got me was he had lost faith and was ready to give up. He didn't ask for anything, but as we were leaving I put a large amount of money in an envelope and left it for him with a note. I have no idea what caused me to do that, but I have never been sorry that I did. I never saw him again, but I hope it helped a little to restore his faith in humanity.

Another instance of not knowing the person happened outside of Walmart. A lady was asking for help. I usually ignore these people, but there was something about her that made me stop. I didn't offer her money but I did take her into the store and bought groceries for her and her family. I also ended up taking her into town and deposited her at the motel where they were staying. She said her husband was out of work and they were stuck. As it turned out I needed some yard work done and ended up paying her husband to do it for me the next day. He worked fast and did an excellent job. Again I never saw these people again.

I am no closer to an answer to my question than I was when I began my story. Perhaps extending a hand or not is not entirely in my hands. I have always believed our Creator is a giant people user.
































































Friday, April 14, 2017

Happy Easter

Taking a brief break to refocus.Wishing all of my readers a most peaceful Easter weekend.






Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Do not bully me

I just saw a picture of a young boy who was born with a mouth full of horrible teeth and was bullied until he got them fixed. It reminded me of my own life growing up and I wondered just what's with these kids nowadays?

I guess I was bullied, especially as a child, I had just never heard the word. In addition to the crooked teeth problem I also began wearing glasses when I was about four or so. And yes these facts did affect my self-esteem for many years, but I survived and eventually grew to believe in myself. Today I don't really care what anyone else thinks about me. I am who I am and if people don't like what they see- tough!

After seeing the picture of the little boy with the horrible teeth I decided to check out quotes about bullying just for the heck of it and to give my readers something to think about. Bullying does hurt even if you aren't familiar with the word.

Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right. ~Theodore Roosevelt

If they don't like you for being yourself, be yourself even more. ~Taylor Swift

I wish every day could be Halloween. We could all wear masks all the time. Then we could walk around and get to know each other before we got to see what we looked like under the mask.~RJ. Palacio

A young outcast will often feel there is something wrong with himself, but as he gets older, grows more confident in who he is, he will adapt. He will begin to feel there is something wrong with everyone else. ~Criss Jami, Killosophy

People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are well aware of your potential, even if you are not. ~Wayne Trotman

Bullying is a horrible thing. It sticks with you forever, but only if you let it. ~Heather Brewer

As a friend of mine used to tell me, "Think about it".

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Sharing

Recently a friend was impressed with the message found at the top of my blog. Everyone leaves footprints as they walk on their assigned path and you never know who you might inspire by sharing your experiences. It pretty much explains what my blog is all about. It began with the desire to share the simple things that happen on any given day of my life. Nothing extraordinary just ordinary experiences.

 I believe we are all living the life of a human to share our experiences in whatever manner we can. It helps to know that we are not alone in the challenges we deal with. During this season of Lent it reminds me that the real stories shared in the Bible by other people are not so different from the challenges we deal with today. It serves as a guide and helps us remember that we are not alone.

Over the years of writing and sharing my thoughts more than one person has chosen to extract me from their life, but that is alright. If what I wrote caused them to think for themselves that was a good thing.

So I am going to continue sharing my thoughts and giving thanks for everyone whom I might inspire to do the same.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Real or not

Considering this is April Fool's day I know some of you are going to think this is made up.    

Damn I wish it was!

Last night I decided to try out my brand new oven and cook some butterfly shrimp. I pushed bake and the little arrow until it reached 450 degrees. Then I waited for the sound of a beep to signal it had reached the selected temperature. I assumed it would take perhaps 10 minutes or so. After awhile the oven began to produce a terrible smell and after 30 minutes it still had not beeped. I doubt that it even reached 400 degrees. I finally gave up, turned the beast off and called the Frigidaire help number in the manual.

I spent at least a half an hour going round and round with the woman who had answered my call. At least it was a real person not a robot. She tried to tell me the oven was not under warranty. Well of course it is I just bought it, but I hadn't had time to get it registered.

After going through all the required information with her I now have a legal oven, which isn't working. She finally decided I needed a technician to look at it. She checked and found none in our small town. Seriously? I could have told her that.

Before the call ended she did come up with a local repairman that I actually know and because the oven is now registered and under the warranty the service would not cost me anything. She said he would call to set up an appointment Great news right? Not quite yet. As soon as I hung up I realized it was Friday and that call probably wouldn't be made until Monday morning at the earliest.

Oh well it's already been a week without the use of an oven what's a few more days?

     

Friday, March 31, 2017

Show and tell

For all those readers following the story of my kitchen appliances I am happy to announce that yes they were installed last night. I had about given up. To prove I am telling the truth I am supplying pictures of the new birth.

The Whirlpool cooktop came first and I love it. I will no longer have to fight to light the pilot lights when they mysteriously go out. The back burners on this one are regular ones, the front left is extra big, great for boiling water for pasta and the front right is smaller, perfect for simmering. I think we will quickly become friends.

Now for the problem child, requiring a carpenter to make the cabinet it was going into larger. Eventually it worked out but I was holding my breath praying that it would.


This beauty is a Frigidaire and it will be cooking butterfly shrimp tonight. I still have to paint around the casing the carpenter added to make it look finished, but that is going to have to wait just a bit.

This is the end of show and tell for today. I just wanted to let you all know that when I stopped worrying, what was supposed to happen happened.



Thursday, March 30, 2017

If you don't laugh then what?

Today's post is the continuing story of my new oven and cook top. It's all true- really it is!

Yesterday left me waiting for a return phone call from the appliance repairman that never came. He did call this morning and said he was on his way. I should have been suspicious when he added he was going to measure and see what I needed. The only thing I needed was to have him install the new appliances still sitting on my back porch. As far as measuring goes we both knew the new items were slightly bigger than the ones to be removed. The old ones were 40 years old and they don't make them that size now, plus the manufacturer is no longer in business.

An hour later he had measured the old appliances, and removed from their boxes and measured the new ones. He also disconnected the gas and took out the old cooktop from it's home. It is now sitting on my back porch along with the new model. As I went to work cleaning the space it had occupied the repairman said I'll be back in awhile. I need to pick up the carpenter who is going to make the spaces bigger.

I continued to clean 40 years of grease from the counter and removed items from the cupboards, giving him plenty of room to install the new appliances. Then I waited. I know I have said that before. This time I was also without a working cooktop as well as a working oven.

About three hours after the repairman left I got a call from him with an update. The carpenter he was going to pick up was working in another town today. When he is finished he will attend to my job. I really would have thought the connection with the two would have been previously discussed.Wouldn't you?

So now I am again waiting. I can't really go anywhere because I don't know when they will show up to finish the job that was started this morning. I called my son and told him he may need to pick up a pizza on his way home from work tonight. I do have the makings of a spinach salad to go with it, which doesn't need cooking.

Thinking about this whole experience I realize I have two choices. I'm beyond being angry so I guess I will just have to laugh at the ridicules situation.

BTW I did check out of curiosity and Mercury isn't due to go into retrograde until April 9.


Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Waiting for the final step

What an interesting few days this has been. One unplanned thing after another to test my patience. Apparently I have learned to roll with the punches because so far I have accepted what has been dished out with no anger.

This morning I have a brand new wall oven and a cook top sitting on my back porch waiting for the man to call who is going to install them to tell me exactly when that will be. He refused to set up a time earlier because he said deliveries never arrive on time. Well he was wrong and I am still waiting for him to call me. Both Baillo's and Home Depot delivered my purchases when they said they would. They were both very friendly and efficient. I would not hesitate to have things delivered by them again.

A couple of unexpected experiences did happen while I was waiting. First my dog, Ejay, began having a problem with his eyes on Sunday. It didn't get any better so on Monday I made an appointment with his doctor. He was diagnosed with pink eye. He just began day 3 of 7 of eye drops twice a day and is doing much better.

On Monday I also received my latest water bill, which was $40 more than it should have been. I admit that step did annoy me more than a little bit. I called my handy plumber to see when he could check for a leak. Being the dependable guy that he is he stopped by yesterday and confirmed checking the meter,  yes, we did have a leak. He spent at least a half an hour trying to find the problem. We couldn't hear water running and there was no water that he could see under the house. He finally did spot the problem in an upright pipe and went to work fixing it. While waiting I began to worry that it was between the house and the meter on the street and my vision of digging up the front yard to find it would have been very expensive. Thank god that didn't happen. I am always grateful for Chavez Plumbing and I wouldn't call anyone else even if I had to wait.

So I am sitting here at my computer typing my latest blog post and waiting for the return phone call from the appliance repairman and oh yea trying to be patient. I sure hope this test is nearing the final step!  

Saturday, March 25, 2017

What do you look like?

I've been searching for an interesting topic to write about today and thanks to a Facebook friend who asked a question I found something that triggered a memory.

My friend is also a published author who is working on a new fictional piece involving a conversation in heaven. His question was, in the afterlife (heaven) how do you see other people? The answers were interesting, mostly depending on what or where the person answering thinks heaven is. The question brought an immediate response from me.

I replied that since we leave our bodies behind when we exit this life I believe we are simply sparks of light and furthermore communicate by telepathy. My response brought forth a photograph I took several years ago when I was contemplating what a soul looks like. This is the picture I took.


From somewhere in my memory it just fit my question. A soul looks like a spark of light when it has not merged with a body.

In thinking a little more about my friend's question, I also tend to believe that the place humans call heaven is not up. It is all around us out there somewhere. I do believe from my own experience that some souls are capable of appearing in the form of a spirit that may resemble someone we knew in our life. As a matter of fact this picture has the image of a lady in the foreground of the water. When I first saw her I thought she looked like Aunt Bea from the old TV show. It made me smile!

I'm sure there are many people who will disagree with my thoughts, but we all have been given free will. I once did have a friend who may have memories of living without a body and I really wanted to talk to him about that. As sometimes happens it just didn't work out the way I wanted it to.For the most part I believe amnesia is part of the universal plan allowing us to live in the now not the past.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Whatever!

What an interesting week this has been! I was tempted to see if mercury was in retrograde again.

Even though it has been expensive it has not been bad. In fact it brought back an interesting memory of an experience when I was a teenager, visiting my grandparents. Without warning their water heater stopped working. They didn't blink an eye, ordered a new one and had it installed. I was impressed! I think at that time I made a silent vow to myself that I would aim for that life.

That was not the kind of life I had experienced growing up in my parent's home. It seemed we were always in debt, even though I don't recall ever going hungry. During my two marriages I pretty much experienced a similar trend. Today I am thinking that was probably a good thing because I learned to not spend more than I could afford. I'm sure it caused a lot of fights with my two now deceased spouses. I hated being in debt and still do.

Knowing that I am now in a position to take care of any reasonable expense that may come up and that I have excellent credit that enables me to charge if I choose to is a giant relief! When unexpected bills come up I pay them and am grateful that I can. I have been on my own since 1999 and have depended on nobody else. What a great feeling that is!

This week started out with the check engine light on my car glaring at me. Of course, my first thought was, "I hope this is going to be cheap". It turned out not to be too bad. I just needed new spark plugs, which my son was able to install for me.

Next, as I was about to put dinner in my oven, I realized the gas hadn't gone on. After turning the oven off and trying again it did light, but I began to worry that something was seriously wrong. Growing up with electricity I do not like gas. You might even say I am slightly afraid of it. With that in mind I decided to call a repairman to check it out. The problem was that the oven needed a new thermostat. The additional problem was that the oven is 40 years old and they don't make them anymore.

We will be picking up a new oven in the morning. My son pointed out that the stove top was the same vintage and it would be smart to replace that too. After giving it some thought I agreed with him. The installation probably wouldn't be much more for the second item installed at the same time.

This morning I thought back to the experience at my grandparent's home so many years ago and to the silent vow I made to myself. Not only will I be able to begin cooking again with brand new equipment, but I will not go into debt paying for it.



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Saturday, March 18, 2017

What color is this

My youngest grandson has spent the first 15 years of his life not being to see colors correctly. In other words he is color blind. I remember my daughter having a fight with one of his elementary teachers who decided he was coloring things wrong on purpose.

He recently took a test online and discovered yes he definitely is color blind. He did the research and found a website that offered special glasses that corrected the problem. He was very excited when he told me about it. He said they were saving up the money to buy a pair. The good ones are very expensive.

Well apparently their monetary goal was met because when I picked him up to go to the skate park today he was wearing a pair. They look really nice on him and nobody would know they are anything other than tinted glasses.

He made me so happy when he announced, " I can see all the colors now!"

It reminded me of the stories I've read about children who had never seen or heard the voices of parents until they were fitted with a newly manufactured device to aid them. Isn't technology wonderful?

I know that color blindness isn't a major problem, but for a child who has a natural talent for art it could be very limiting. Now when I ask what color is this he can actually tell me.

Friday, March 17, 2017

It really doesn't matter

Recently I sent an email to a friend who I believe is a very close soulmate. Our relationship has gone up and down since I began this blog in 2009. We rarely communicate, at least not in the normal human way. I have been thinking a lot about the person and decided I would express just how I feel.

Even though I am aware of a very strong spiritual connection between us, he has claimed in the past that he is not able to see or feel the same energy. It is odd that even though I have always felt a very strong bond I doubt that we will ever physically meet in this life time. I don't even care what he looks like because the connection is with his soul, not with his human body. There was a time that I felt we might even be twin flame soulmates living in the same lifetime. That could be or perhaps I was over wishing.

So to make a long story short, he has not as yet responded to my email. At first I admit I was a bit hurt because it was shared from my heart. Then I realized it really didn't matter what he did. It only mattered what I did. The words I expressed in the communication were true and if he didn't agree so what! It doesn't make how I feel any less real.

I'm sure there is an unseen entity observing what has happened and what will happen and is never going to let out a peep about what he/she knows. That's just the way it is when we agree to a life as a human. The lessons are there to be learned to evolve our soul. What we knew isn't always what we now know.

I have concluded it really doesn't matter as I'm sure everything will turn out just the way it was meant to.


Friday, March 10, 2017

Goodbye Tim

In memory of my friend Timothy McNeil who left so many friends behind a few days ago. We all miss you Tim!

A limb has fallen from the family tree.
I keep hearing a voice that says, "Grieve not for me."
Remember the best times, the laughter, the song.
The good life I lived while I was strong.
Continue my heritage, I'm counting on you.
Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through.
My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest.
Remembering all, how I truly was blessed.
Continue traditions, no matter how small.
Go on with your life, don't worry about falls.
I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin.
Until the day comes we're together again.

The path is yours



 
In sending an email to a friend yesterday I realized again that even though we all come from the same source we all have our own path to walk. It is not for us to know what lessons and experiences each of us has mapped out. It is only our job to walk our own path to the best of our ability to evolve our own soul.

Another friend posted a request this morning that people say a prayer for all those who are suffering from cancer. Because of losing the love of his life to the disease he is on a path to make others aware. When I read his post my first thought was, “God how can you make little children suffer and die from cancer?” Then I immediately followed that with, “Wait you aren’t making anyone do anything you are simply allowing it”.

Although it is horrible that children are dying, whose fault is it? Could it possibly be the environment or the food they choose to eat? There is a huge difference between now and when I was a child, or even when I raised my children. Today I look at things my oldest son keeps in the refrigerator to drink and snack on and I think, “Didn’t I teach you anything about what’s healthy?”  He isn’t alone though because I know I eat way too much sugar.  

From the moment we take our first breath to the moment we take our last we walk on our assigned path and no two are exactly alike. If we could all learn to take responsibility for ourselves and accept each other as is perhaps the world would be a friendlier place to reside.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Cooking up memories

This morning I was looking for a recipe called Busy Day Cake that I used to make years and years ago when my sons were little. It was easy and didn't take much to put it together. To make a long story short I couldn't find it in my recipe box.

I knew what it was called and so I googled it and guess what? I found it! So I made it and frosted it with some leftover chocolate frosting. And now I am going to share it with my readers. The recipe that is not the cake.

1 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, 2 1/2 tsp. baking powder, 3/4 cup milk, 1 egg, 1/2 cup shortening, 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla, 1/2 tsp salt.
grease and lightly flour a 9x9 inch baking pan. Combine all ingredients, beat 2 minutes on medium speed. Bake 375 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Enjoy!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Following the crowd or not

Today's post is a follow-up to yesterday's post regarding my memories of past lives. The person I was talking to does not believe in reincarnation because she claims the Bible says "we only live one life". I don't remember where she said that came from, but she believes everything in the book is absolute truth. She has read it cover to cover several times and once told me she reads passages every morning before she even gets out of bed.

About the only thing we agree on is that the Bible was written by an accumulation of people (some saints, some sinners and some ordinary souls like you and me; all inspired by the Creator). I believe the stories shared were meant to be a guide and were never meant to be taken as literally as some people do.

Who is to say their recollections were absolute and not swayed by a past experience? It is a well known fact that no two people ever see the same thing.

In recent years there has been much scientific evidence proving that reincarnation is not just a pipe dream, like the drug induced story of Alice in Wonderland. Edgar Cayce did some very convincing studies on the subject. The book, Journey of Souls, by Michael Newton,PhD.is also a terrific source of information about what happens after a soul separates from its human body, re-enters the spirit world and eventually chooses another body to bond with. The information was gathered from hypnosis sessions, taking subjects to the "theta" stage of consciousness and encouraging them to share their past life memories. It is a fascinating book that I recommend to anyone interested in reincarnation.

As I picked this book up from my bookshelf I briefly considered loaning it to the person I had been talking to. Then I decided there was no point in doing that because she wouldn't believe it anyway.

There is a whole lot of information out there that has never before been uncovered. I for one am grateful that I live in a time of universal awakening and that my soul is allowing me to accept this new train of thought. Perhaps my job is to help others awaken too.

Friday, March 3, 2017

A question with no answer

A couple of weeks ago my chiropractor decided to use traction on my neck. It made me a little nervous and I asked her to leave the door to the treatment room open. She asked if I was claustrophobic and I said not exactly, it is more like a fear of abandonment. I went on to add that I believe it is caused by past life memories. She replied, " have to hear about that" and left the door open.

I thought she had forgotten about it, but this week she asked a very good question that I didn't know how to answer and am still thinking about. Her question was, "How do you know your memories are not the result of a dream or a movie you saw?"

My memories of three different lives just popped up over a period of time. They were relatively brief and all depicted my death. They all showed me what can happen when I try to run another person's life. Just to add drama to my story let me give you a brief recap of the three lives and how they ended.

Life one was in Roman times and I was...wait for it... a white horse. I belonged to a very reluctant knight who did not want to fight, but because of his lineage was forced to. I pretty much took over his life and led him into many battles, the last of which caused my death. The lance of an opposing knight slashed the length of my belly as I rose to collide with him. I fell to the ground taking my knight with me. We both died in the fall. To add interest to this memory I have scars from two surgeries in this life, one from endometrial cancer in 1990 and the other from a blocked bowel in 2011, that exactly match the lance wound.

Life two was a drowning. Although I can see the clothes I was wearing I still can't place the period or place. It was possibly Scotland or England. I was in a horse drawn carriage driven by my son who I was trying to help avoid military life. Suddenly a loud boom coming from a battlefield on our left spooked the horse and we all ended up in water on the right. The door on the carriage would not open and I was trapped inside.Even though my son tried to rescue me he was unsuccessful and I drowned.

Life three took place in a mountainous area perhaps even Alaska. My mother had died giving birth to me and I took over her role of running the house at a very early age. One day there was a terrible noise outside our door, my father rushed to open it just as an avalanche headed down the mountain covering our cabin. My father died instantly I followed soon after.

So there you have a brief replay of my three past life memories and I have concluded it is not necessary for me to justify them to anyone. I believe they are real and that I was given the memories as part of a Universal lesson. I hope I have learned that I am only responsible for myself.

As a note I do think at least the last two are the cause of the fear of abandonment I have in this life time.



Sunday, February 26, 2017

Speak up before it's too late

Yesterday ancestry.com sent me a message that I had several new hints I needed to check out. So I did and I am very happy I made that move. The last time I visited the site was 2013 and I had compiled a family tree with my maiden name. A lot of new information has been added since then making me wonder if it's another lesson in patience. Yuck I do not like that word!

It may sound strange but until a few years ago I did not know the names of either of my grandfathers, who died before I was born. My family just didn't care to share information. I finally know the rest of their stories or at least part of it. I also picked up a few more relatives in the form of uncles and an aunt I didn't know even existed. Of course, they are no longer residents of earth. Oh well it's the thought that counts I guess.

I did know some things about my Swedish born paternal grandfather from a previous search. In addition, I found out he married my grandmother in 1903 in the Dillard Hotel in Seattle, Washington. He was 36 and my grandmother 19. That's a big age difference. They settled in Tolt, now called Carnation, Washington.The name was officially changed in the late 1990s to honor the Carnation Dairy. You know the home of the contented cows! For years it went back and forth and no one knew what to call their town. I always thought it was interesting that my grandfather died the year I was born, but nobody ever talked about him. It makes me happy to know that my grandparents are both buried in the Tolt (oops Carnation) cemetery.

The biggest find of my new search was information about my maternal grandfather. I didn't even have the right death date and was never able to find out where he was buried. Success!! I now know he died in 1918 while serving in the U.S. Army. Information from his sister said he died of influenza and he is buried in Bayview Cemetery in Bellingham, Washington. I already knew he was drafted in August 2017  but my previous search ended there. I imagined that he died fighting in another country and maybe was blown up or something. It was a relief to discover that I was wrong. I also found out he had four brothers and a sister that I knew nothing about. My grandmother remarried in 1921 and I guess that ended any further talk about my biological grandfather. This search did bring up a question I probably won't ever get an answer to. Apparently my grandparents had an "unnamed son" when my mother was two years old. I have no clue if the child was stillborn, died at birth or was given up for adoption. It would have been nice if my family had spoken up once in awhile!

Just before I accessed ancestry.com I pulled an oracle angel card just for the heck of it. The card was abundance. Just goes to show it doesn't always mean money. At least the angels aren't afraid to speak up!  

Saturday, February 25, 2017

One thing always leads to another


While remembering the quote, "You will never understand something until it happens to you" I began thinking of my daughter who will turn 38 this fall. I was slightly older than that when I discovered I was pregnant with her. I was 41when she was born. After two much older boys I was thrilled to find out I was finally carrying a girl. She went on to have her only child when she was 22. She then had a device planted in her body because she decided she didn't care to deal with the pain of delivering anymore children.

Knowing that our Creator sometimes does some crazy things I began fantasizing what if she suddenly found out she was pregnant? The thought made me laugh because things like that happen all the time. We both knew someone whose husband had a vasectomy and ended up giving birth to twins. I know my grandson would love it because he never wanted to be an only child.

Anyway this fantasy led to my thinking about quotes to live by and I remembered something a former massage therapist said to me during a treatment. It was, "you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders". Do I do that? Maybe!

Following this trend of thought I used my trusty computer and looked up some quotes to live by, which I will now share. As the saying goes- "if the shoe fits etc."

The strongest people are not those that show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about.

Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when you're trying to be everyone else's anchor.

Just because I'm strong enough to handle pain doesn't mean I deserve it.

I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Never apologize for trusting your intuition- your brain can play tricks, your heart can be blind, but your gut is always right.

It always seems impossible until it's done.

...and one of my favorites:

Some people really suck- avoid them!
 

   

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Message from another place

Today I was leafing through some old posts I had written. I often have the reaction, "wow that's really good, did I write that?" Yup it looks as if I did. Sometimes I decide to re-post it because it has a message that seems to be coming from another place. So here goes- enjoy and thank you Shaunualee.

Sitting on a park bench at the Riverwalk my eyes settled on a young woman walking barefoot along the edge of the pond, periodically looking into the water. Her hair got my attention because it was a rich reddish blonde. When lit by the sun it almost glowed. I followed her path until she was in front of the bench I was sitting on.

Roxanne and I exchanged greetings and she asked if she knew me, thinking I looked familiar. I told her no, but she might have seen my photo in the newspaper because I was a columnist. She sat down and we began a conversation that lasted over an hour.

She said she had dropped out of school and had her first child at a very early age. She admitted that drugs and poor choices in male companions had influenced her life until recently when she dumped the negativity. She said her immediate plans were to move to another town and get an education in cosmetology.

Having investigated several different paths to achieve oneness with her Creator, she felt she was now spiritually enlightened. I hoped her personal growth was "real" and not induced by drugs.

During the course of our talk her two boys, 11 and 5, were amusing themselves without much supervision from their mother. She would occasionally ask the older boy where his brother was. This bothered me because her body was there, but her mind was somewhere else. I strongly suspected this was normal mothering procedure for her. I wondered if she knew how much her negative experiences had probably affected her children. Did she truly understand that she is a role model for them?

This young woman reminded me of another whose spirit had once crossed my path. She was about the same age and coloring as Roxanne and also dreamed of a career in cosmetology. Her education was interrupted when she discovered at about age 19 that she was expecting a child.

Soon after the birth of her daughter she was diagnosed with bone cancer. She lost her courageous battle for life two years later. She never had a chance to raise her precious child. I believe if her spirit could speak to Roxanne she would say; "quit screwing around, take charge of your life and live every day as if it were your last because it very well could be". 

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Up or down makes a difference

Sometimes things happen in my daily life that are just plain funny when I have had a chance to digest them. Yesterday was one of those days. When we don't have all the facts our conclusions can be off just a bit.

For the last few weeks I have been going to a chiropractor to try to get my neck to stay aligned. Granted part of the problem is that it has been way too long since I visited her office and therefore It is going to take awhile for the vertebrae to settle down. It is slowly getting better but patience has never been one of my positive traits.

Yesterday she asked me if I spent a lot of time on the computer and I said yes. She replied that looking down for long periods of time was probably contributing to the problem. I agreed and said I had recently been forcing myself to get up and move around. I am also aware that sitting for long periods is not good for my back, or anyone's for that matter. Long formed habits are hard to break.

When I got home and sat down at my computer I realized my chiropractor must think I have a laptop. I have a PC and don't look down to see the screen, I look up or out. I began to think about what I do or have done that would cause me to look down for long periods. I believe I have it figured out! It's all that crocheting I did in the weeks before the holidays. It caused my neck to be pretty much rooted in one spot for hours at a time. Although it's nice to make things to give to others it is not very smart to intentionally do something that I  now know is contributing to a serious physical problem.

It looks as if I am going to have to find a new way of looking at things because up or down does make a big difference.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy birthday Ejay

In early December 2012 I saw a picture of a cute little white poodle in the local paper. He was featured in the ad for the animal shelter. I had been thinking about getting a dog and decided to stop by and check this one out.

Dogs of all sizes had been part of my history. I knew I didn't want a big dog or a tiny version that yaps a lot. This dog was a perfect size and very friendly as he struggled to get my attention. My very first dog as a child was a peanut butter colored cocker spaniel.

The gate keeper let the dog out so I could have a better view. I was told I could take him home for a couple of days to see if he would be a good fit. If it didn't work out I could bring him back. I decided to take a chance and see what would happen. I was told his name was E.J.and the lady who had him couldn't pay the fee to get him back after he had run away. I felt bad about that, but there was nothing I could do about it. He had been in the shelter for three weeks waiting for someone to rescue him.

As I put him in my car I noticed a piece of coat hanger wire attached to his fur. The first thing I did when we arrived at my house was to remove it. The following picture was taken on his first day in his new surroundings.


After deciding to keep him we went to the vets to check him out. He was healthy and I was told he was a Poodle Maltese mix and about 10 months old. After getting his shots our next stop was the groomer. His fur was very matted and needed serious attention. He looked like a different dog when I picked him up and the groomer had given him a treat to chew on and added a scarf around his neck.

To make a long story short Ejay had found a new home. I wasn't exactly sure when he was born but knew it was sometime in February so I gave him Valentines Day as his birthday and he is now five years old.  His favorite things to do are chasing rabbits and birds in the yard, harassing his feline older brother and sister and being anywhere that I am. Oh and begging for food that anyone is eating.

Happy birthday Ejay!
 



Saturday, February 11, 2017

A grape, an orange and a life

Everyone at some point compares who they are with someone else. I think age and possibly gender determines who that will be. It could be a parent, grandparent, sibling, child, friend, teacher and the list goes on and on. It is like comparing a grape and an orange. They are both edible fruit but that's about it.

We get ourselves into so much trouble comparing our life to other lives. No two people ever have the same experiences or even see things the same way. It just is not possible.

I often think of my oldest grandchildren who were born identical twins. Their birth was by C-section so obviously one was removed from the womb before the other. One went home with parents while the other remained in a hospital incubator, waiting to gain weight. From the very first day of their lives their experiences were totally different. At one time it was difficult to tell them apart, but as they reached adulthood that changed dramatically. Today their lives are totally different and it is sometimes difficult for me to remember that they are twins.

We are all given our own life to live and it really is ridicules to compare it to anyone else's life.

A couple of years ago I acquired a new female friend whose life experiences seemed very close to mine. It was a little eerie at times. I got into the bad habit of believing that because something was going on in her life it compared to something going on in mine. I would check with her before making important decisions. Lately my vision has improved and I can clearly see that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. It is easy to get caught up in believing that someone else is better at living our life than we are.

Many times I have temporarily been sucked into comparing myself to another. I have allowed this comparison to cause me to feel less than and at times even stupid. I once wrote "God doesn't make junk". I keep forgetting that simple quote.

Forty years of my life were spent allowing husbands to live my life for me. I suppose it wasn't a waste of time because the two marriages produced three children who produced four children, who have produced two and a half more. (One is on the way.)

Each was born with the ability to be a whole being who does not need to be compared to anyone else, living or dead. 


Friday, February 10, 2017

Moving on

To continue with this adventure: yesterday after going through some old papers and tossing many of them I ordered new business cards. I had tried to do this once before but something got screwed up on the website and I gave up on the idea.it probably just wasn't time.

I am really happy with what I chose to order. I eliminated my physical address as it really wasn't needed. I simply used my name, blog address, phone #, email and the title motivational author. It took me a few minutes to decide whether to use writer or author. Well, I am a published author so that settled that! This is what it now says.

www.subconsciousmessages.blogspot.com
-------------------------------------------------
Barbara Loure` Gunn
    motivational author
505-287-7278
begunn37@q.com

This morning I was curious as to why I chose a pink spring blossom background. I whipped out my trusty Dream Book by Betty Bethards to see what the word blossom meant. What it said was: a job well done, you have sown and reaped beauty, a beautiful expression of self. Oh and pink means love. Perfect I thought!

Thinking about a job well done my mind immediately went to my three grown children. Even though two of the three do not communicate that might be a good thing after all. It proves they can take care of themselves and their families and don't need me for anything. The third, although temporarily living with me, also lives his own life. Luckily my house is large enough to provide more than enough space for us both to enjoy freedom. The arrangement also provides back up if anything should go wrong. Therefore I'm thinking, job well done fits perfectly.

So it is time to put the past in the past and do something different.

Still thinking and waiting for my human mind and my soul mind to let me know just what I am supposed to be doing now.