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Tuesday, August 15, 2017


My biggest pet peeve is not keeping your word. If you say you are going to do something- do it! Most of the last week has been spent waiting for a repairman to come and finish a job he started. I don't have a problem with his work but his ethics stink. If he ever finishes the job I have already paid him to do I'm not sure I will ever call him again. It isn't worth the stress of waiting and waiting and his excuses. The man also gets paid in cash because he claims to not have a bank account. I have yet to get a receipt for any supplies I have paid for. Could be more than ethics going on here!! Perhaps the State would like to know that Joe Eylicio works under the table.

Years ago a woman who doesn't even like me gave me the biggest compliment I have ever had. It pretty much sums up my life. She said, "You can always be counted on to keep your word. Even if later you change your mind, you always do what you said you would do."

Apparently age doesn't have anything to do with keeping your word. At the moment I am also very disappointed with a young man who promised to do some yard work for me. I intended to pay him, but so far he hasn't even bothered to contact me. It isn't the first time this has happened so apparently he has been brought up to believe keeping his word doesn't matter. It's a shame because he is a really good kid.

So this is what has occupied my time for the last week or two. I've been busy dealing with the ethics of other people. Yuck!

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Charity or simply begging?

In the last few months Go Fund Me has become very popular on Facebook. I know it was originally set up to help people with such things as medical expenses they could not handle. I have donated to accounts for friends in such circumstances. Living on social security I know that sometimes overwhelming things happen. I do not have a problem with the basic reason this organization was started, but I believe it has reached a ridicules level and is in danger of simply amounting to begging.

A little while ago a male Facebook friend of mine announced that he had just finished and is in the process of publishing a children's book. This person is also a talented fine art artist who sells some of his creations for several hundred dollars. In addition to that income he is a life coach and a retired minister. Oh and he also has close to 5,000 FB friends. Pondering how he is going to promote/sell his book, one of his friends suggested a Go Fund Me account to help with expenses. He responded, "That's the best idea yet."

My response to his response was, "What the hell!" Until I read that I had a great deal of respect for the man. Now I am close to deleting him as a friend.  Apparently he is not who I thought he was.

Granted his book could help children of all ages deal with fear, but expecting other people to pay for it is ridicules, in my opinion. I finished my book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist, in 2010 and I am sure it could help a great deal of people. So far it is unpublished in the normal manner due to a lack of money. There is no way that I would expect my friends to dip into their pockets to pay for publishing and promotion. I would rather give it away, which I have done many times.

My question still hangs out there, is Go Fund Me charity or simply begging?

Thursday, August 3, 2017


Procrastination: a verb meaning to postpone or delay needlessly.

When a procrastinator is matched with a deterministic go getter the outcome is bound to cause angry vibes, which is pretty much what is going on in my house at the moment. My adult son is definitely a practiced procrastinator and it is driving me crazy.

Just for fun I googled the word and this is what I came up with. Popular synonyms are:protractis, defer, draw out, elongate, extend, prolong and I love this one, shilly shally.

When I start a project I expect to finish it in a reasonable length of time. I don't understand starting and stopping and never finishing. What's worse is not even feeling guilty.

Oh well everyone has their own road to travel and I am very happy mine is not procrastination.


Wednesday, August 2, 2017

One thing leads to another

This has been a crazy week and it's only Wednesday!

First the check engine light decided to go on in my car. Great here we go again! Monday morning I took the car to my new trusted mechanic business, not far from my house. After checking things out I was told it needed a fuel injector. This was probably the problem all the time, as it was intermittent.  I was then  told to bring the car back Tuesday morning for installation of the part, which I did. The person who owns this business has been a neighbor since 1980 and I was not aware it was his business until recently. I am extremely happy to have someone to depend on.

This person also has several houses that he refurbishes and rents. I have been in need of a repairman to take care of some problems so I asked for the name of someone who could help. As it turned out the person he recommended was standing a few feet from me. It is someone who has worked for him for fifteen years. We exchanged info and I waited for my car to be ready. It now runs great thank you very much.

Yesterday afternoon, Joe, the repairman stopped by my house to see what I needed. My most urgent need was a  roof problem which was causing a nasty problem with a small area in the guest bathroom ceiling. I hadn't expected him to do more than check it out, but he went right to work and within less than an hour the problem was no more. Good thing too because about five minutes after he finished the rain came pouring down.

Joe promised to come back when he had time and check out my roof. It has always had a problem because an addition had been put on about thirty some years ago which left a dip that collects water. This morning Joe checked things out, made a phone call to price supplies and I am now waiting for him to come back and start the job. I am so grateful to find a repairman I can depend on. He works fast, knows what he is doing and is reasonable. You can't beat that

All this good stuff happened because of a little check engine light that wouldn't stay out.

Sunday, July 30, 2017


This morning I woke up a little nervous, but ready for a once in a lifetime task. It is the day I will spit in a tube and get it ready to return to for my DNA results. Next I will have to wait 6-8 weeks to hear from them. Will the test confirm what I grew up believing or will it be something completely different? Only time will tell.

I was reminded this morning of a conversation I had years ago with my now deceased daughter-in-law. We were sitting in my kitchen when she announced out of the blue that when she was a teenager she found out the people she thought were her parents were actually her aunt and uncle. She said she had been devastated with the news at the time. I can only imagine how she felt. Wow what a blow!

The memory led me to ask myself what is a parent anyway? There is legal and there is biological. I'm not so sure that either title makes a parent.

My three adult children had two different fathers. One was a womanizing jerk and the other a workaholic/alcoholic. That didn't leave much time to be a father, except on paper. Both men are now deceased and life moves on.

What will be will be and what has been is no more, although it does leave footprints on the present.

P.S. I have to put a slightly funny spin on this post that tells me the DNA test is something I was supposed to do. I just finished reading a Kindle book titled, Spit of a Minute. Remembering that made me laugh this morning.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Reading the fine print pays

Yesterday I received my current bill from my internet/phone company, which is Century Link. I noticed that I was in the 11th  month of my current promotion plan. I have learned from experience to read the entire bill. So this morning I called my provider and asked if they had a new plan to replace the one that was about to expire.

I connected with a very nice service representative by the name of Sarah who checked things out. For the last year I hadn't used my land phone to make long distance calls because there was a charge for them. I keep a trac phone up to date, partly for that purpose. It is also nice to have for emergencies when I am away from home. There were many times I would have preferred to use my land phone for business calls because I have better reception, but I didn't.

So after Sarah did some research she came up with a new three year promotion plan with no contract which comes with free unlimited long distance. Alright I'll take that as it was only 10 cents more per month than my current plan and I didn't have to mess with it for three years. Sounds good to me.

My internet service with Century Link is just fine, except for those spam emails, which aren't their fault. I could change my email address I suppose, but that would create more problems with contacts than I am willing to deal with. So every morning I tune in to see what's what and like a wizard with a magic wand I delete all of them.

I learned some time ago to read the fine print on bills because it saves me money. I like the sound of that!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Just following my intuition

As I was finishing off the last stitches for the baby blanket I have been making, with the extra yarn, I gave some thought to what I was going to do with it. A thought popped into my mind that I hadn't thought before.Where did that come from I wondered? Was it pushed out from another realm?

The thought was: if a baby in need doesn't show up by the end of the year I am going to donate the blanket to Cibola General Hospital to be included in the gifts for the first baby born in 2018.

The thought continued to grow and put a smile on my face as I remembered all the items my grandmother made and donated to the Shrine Children's Hospital in Seattle, during her life. Even though she hasn't resided on earth since 1984 I'll bet that put a smile on her face too.

I know there are those who believe that once you leave earth that's it- you're just dead and won't be heard from again. I don't believe that. We are spirits and we do not die period! Strong relationships can and do go on forever.

So now I know where this little project is probably headed and I hope it will keep a little one extra warm this winter and a mother happy.

I recently purchased a little glass angel that can hold one flower. I searched around my house and found a small pink rose for her to hold. She sits on my desk and this morning I named her Anna. As I did that I realized she reminded me of my grandmother whom I called Nana. Roses are a meaningful flower as my grandfather brought her one from his garden, each morning that they bloomed.

Stuff happens when I follow my intuition!

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Where there is a will...

Perhaps I should have been an investigative reporter or was in a previous life.

Due to some poking around online and asking the right questions I finally discovered when and where the people listed as my parents on my birth certificate were married. That would be May 5, 1937, in Ketchikan, Alaska. That also would be 7 months before I was born, full term according to the doctor who delivered me. He/she should know- right?

Odd thing about that information is that my mother used the last name of her stepfather (who never adopted her) at both events. Oh what a tangled web we weave etc.etc.

Legally I suppose since those two people were married, no matter by what name they went by, that does make them my parents. I will still have to wait for the DNA results to see if both are my biological parents. My intuition is screaming that only applies to one of them. Of course, I could be wrong.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Family matters

Does it really make a difference who your biological family is/was. To me it does. For one thing I dislike people who lie. Honesty has always been a priority. My life began with many lies told by my mother, starting with the fact that I was premature. Not according to my birth certificate!

Since I was a young mother myself I have suspected that the man I grew up calling my father wasn't. I look nothing like his Swedish side of the family. On the other hand my younger brother looked like him. I have never had generic proof of my suspicions. Things have changed in the world and it is now possible to track one's DNA. It is something I have considered for some time, but hesitated to do.

French and Scottish ancestry has never been in question, as they are on my mother's side, but the rest? So this morning I decided to splurge on myself and order a DNA test. It could very well prove my suspicions correct- or not. I will see in a few weeks.

Some people might say "what difference does it make at my age?" I can't really explain that, but it does. I have always felt a little out of step. Perhaps being part of the wrong family could explain that. Maybe the DNA test will uncover relatives I didn't even know I had. I know my mother was married twice, but I can't find any record of her first husband. That's really odd I think.

In some ways it's funny that secrets buried for years can now be uncovered many years after people have left earth. Besides, there is that one entity who always knows the truth, so it doesn't pay to lie about family matters.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Just do it

This morning I was checking out some leftover yarn to see what's what. I noticed a large skein of white baby yarn left over from the baby blanket I made for my expected great granddaughter. I over estimated what I needed. I kept hearing my grandmother saying waste not want not.

I know I know but what am I supposed to do with this. I could make a bunch of baby beanies and give them to the hospital. No, I got worn out with those. Besides someone else could take over as I did from my friend, Marvine, when she moved to a nursing home in Texas. I miss that crazy lady a lot.

I don't know anyone expecting a baby anytime soon besides my granddaughter-in-law, but I kept being nudged to use the yarn to make another baby blanket. I long ago learned to follow my intuition because it is the voice of my soul. Soooo to make a short story even shorter that is exactly what I am doing.

Here is proof that my latest effort has begun. I think the baby it is meant for quite possibly hasn't even been conceived yet. I know it isn't mine- been there done that!!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

How hard is it to say thank you?

I don't know about you but I was raised to say thank you when someone does something nice for me. I wonder why the younger generation seems to be lacking in their ability to acknowledge an act of kindness.

A few weeks ago I sent one of my twin granddaughters a copy of an Amazon family tree that had taken me several years to complete. Even though she seems to only remember that she is Native American on her mother's side of her family there are two sides. I thought at some point she or her children might be interested in knowing who their paternal relatives were. I am really the only one still alive who could provide those names and where they were born. I had really expected some kind of acknowledgement, but I didn't get one.

Her brother, my oldest grandson, and his new wife are expecting their first child in September. After finding out that child is a girl I decided to crochet a baby blanket for her. Two weeks ago I sent it along with a couple of other gifts I thought were cute to her parents. I know it arrived because I tracked the package. Did I get a thank you note. Nope.

Several years ago I wrote a blog post as a tribute to my deceased daughter-in-law. The other twin chose not to understand the content and as a thank you her acknowledgement was a very nasty email informing me that she wanted nothing more to do with me The whole purpose of my blog post was to tell the world that her three children were the most important thing in her life. So far my granddaughter has kept her word and has not communicated since. Even though she didn't say thank you for my effort she did acknowledge it so I guess that was a step in the right direction, sort of.

Generally speaking it seems to me that today's children expect too much and believe they are entitled to whatever they desire.They don't take the time to think about the motive behind a gesture of kindness.

Oh well I guess things change and perhaps "thank you" have become outdated words. In my opinion it's part of what is wrong with the world today.  

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Writer's block

Writing about a writer's block is better than not writing at all.~Charles Bukowski

The scariest moment is always just before you start.~Stephen King

It's perfectly okay to write garbage as long as you edit brilliantly.~C.J.Cherrh

When I'm writing I write. And it's as if the muse is convinced that I'm serious and says, "Okay okay I'll come."~Maya Angelou

Those are the words of other writers. I'm not sure what my excuse is. Some days I realize I have been on a soap box and am not sure how to get off. I know I know, just step down. Easy for you to say, but I am writing about my real life in these posts and that's not as easy as you might think. I try to come up with fresh thoughts, but the old ones keep coming back. I used to have a muse that would help me out. I think he got bored and found a better job or else he decided that I didn't need him anymore. Either way I seem to have been left on my own.

I once had a friend who would write and write and never really say anything or he would promise to continue and never did. I don't make promises I have no intention of keeping. There are too many people around like that.

Perhaps my mind is just too busy worrying about things that probably will never happen. I'm really good at that!

Then there is the problem of so much negative energy around. I sometimes find it difficult to put a positive spin on things. I back off waiting for the energy to improve. Waiting never works either. What is going to happen is going to happen and I just have to learn to accept it.

Well those are my excuses and as I read over them I see they aren't very good, but they did fill up my current post, so they can't be all bad.

Have a nice day and I will catch you later- I promise!

Monday, July 3, 2017

Just let it be

We finished off replacing the floor in the last room, which is my bedroom, last night. Everything was put back where it is supposed to be with one exception. I couldn't hold the mirror for my dresser so my son could screw in the four screws. That sucker is heavy!

After several attempts I said, "Let's just leave it and I'll see if I can get someone to help in the morning." I put the drawers back in so I wouldn't trip over them in the middle of the night and let the problem be.

The rest of the room looks really good and I am very happy to get rid of 30+ year old carpet, which I am sure has been causing allergy problems.

This morning I again began thinking of who I could call to offer a pair of hands for probably five minutes. Being a holiday weekend I didn't want to bother anyone. I decided to give it one more shot and decided perhaps I was just tired last night and maybe had a little more energy this morning.

So the task began again.

After a little trial and error we realized that the bottom of the mirror would sit on the dresser and all I had to do was balance it so my son could locate the holes. Why couldn't we have noticed that last night I wonder? Perhaps my brain just needed to rest or perhaps my guardian angel popped in for a brief visit and offered a helping hand.

Not worrying so much and just letting things be is a lesson I am currently learning.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Memories from the past

Lately Facebook has given its participants the opportunity of re-posting memories from their past. As they are presented I can choose to re-share or not. Some of the things I originally posted are indeed worth a re-share, some not so much. With that in mind a couple of channeled poems from my E-book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist,  just popped into my mind. So I am re-sharing.

Often tidbits come into our life that we file away for future use. The following prayer, said to have been channeled from the spirit Tobias (Old Testament book of Tobit) is a perfect example. The lesson I got from it is: it is OK to be different.

The Silent Prayer

In my heart I accept my perfect Being.
I accept that the joy I have intended is already in my life.
I accept that love I have prayed for is already within me. 
I accept that the peace I have asked for is already my reality.
I accept that the abundance I have sought already fills my life.

In my truth, I accept my perfect Being.
I take responsibility for my own creations.
And all things that are within my life.
I acknowledge the power of spirit that is within me.
And know that all things are as they should be.

In my wisdom, I accept my perfect Being.
My lessons have been carefully chosen by my self.
And now I walk through them in full experience.
My path takes me on a sacred journey with divine purpose.
My experiences become part of all that is.

In my knowingness, I accept my perfect Being.
In this moment, I sit in my golden chair.
And know that I Am an angel of light.
I look upon the golden tray- the gift of spirit.
And know that all of my desires already have been fulfilled.

In love for my self, I accept my perfect Being.
I cast no judgment or burdens upon my self.
I accept that everything in my past was given in love.
I accept that everything in this moment comes from love.
I accept that everything in my future will result in love.

In my Being, I accept my perfection.
And so it is.

And now a poem I wrote and believe was channeled from my own soul mind.

Pure Love

I will love you forever and ever
I will defend you against your enemies
I will support you when you are weak
I will cry with you when you are hurt
I will warn you when I see danger
I will teach you anything I know
I will listen quietly as you teach me
I will pray with you and  for you
I will hold you if you need comfort
I will feed you when you are hungry
I will help you live but will not live for you
I will respect your right to your freedom
I will love you forever.
Barbara Loure` Gunn 2000 


Saturday, June 24, 2017

A positive connection

I just finished a book titled Butterfly Dreams, whose main character I related to so very well. Of course, the details were nothing like my life, but the phobia this person had could have been mine. 

She had spent most of her adult life telling herself she had a life threatening problem. Every time she felt the least bit odd she talked herself into believing that was a sign that something horrible was about to happen to her. She went so far as to believe that she would have a heart attack and die. 

Although I don’t go quite that far, I have believed on more than one occasion that I would end up in the hospital or be alone with no help in sight.  I guess it goes along with a lifetime problem of abandonment issues. I am really not quite sure where that came from but it sucks. To believe that nobody cares is not a pleasant way to live a life.

I had trouble finishing this book after I saw myself in the story, but I did because I wanted to know how the story ended. She did finally connect with a man who actually did have a life threatening heart problem. He turned out to be a wonderful role model, teaching her to live each day to the fullest and ignore what her brain was telling her. Her fear was unfounded as every medical test she had proved there was nothing physically wrong with her.

I believe sometimes we grow up believing that we deserve the worst instead of the best the universe has to offer. The cause often begins with a negative parent, constantly fueling the flame. It sometimes takes a very strong positive person to convince us otherwise.

Apparently I haven’t connected with that person yet, but I am still here so perhaps there is time.  

Sunday, June 18, 2017

A special gift

Last night I got a special gift from my youngest grandson that he had purchased for me on his trip up the West coast with his mom and stepfather. I was impressed that he had only been home for about 10 minutes when he walked up to my house to present my gift. He said he had looked in several stores before he found exactly what he was looking for.

He couldn't have known how much I would treasure his effort.

Although Seattle is not my hometown it has left many once in a lifetime memories. I lived there from the time I was in 6th grade until I was 28 years old. I graduated from Roosevelt High School, had my first real jobs as a clerk for Rhodes Department Store and as a file clerk for the Teamsters Health and Welfare Union, met and married my first husband and gave birth to my two sons in Seattle.

I remember going over the bridge from one end of town to the other and all that water in Puget Sound. I remember the whale called Shamu, the Seafare celebrations every summer, complete with the hydroplane races. I also remember the 1962 World's Fair, held in downtown Seattle and of course, the space needle. I still have not ever taken the trip up its side, but my grandson said he did. He also ate in the restaurant at the top and watched his food spin around.

There are a lot of memories packed into my years of living and working in Seattle and I am happy that my young grandson has had a chance to make his own. I am also very happy with the special gift he brought me. Thank you Colin for your thoughtfulness!

Monday, June 12, 2017

Responsible for what?

My grandson is on vacation with his family but before he left he called and asked me for a favor.

He said he had ordered a pair of shoes that were a once in a lifetime deal. "Really Grandma I will never get this kind of deal again", he said. "These shoes were made by a very important person and they were marked way down."

I laughed and told him I had never paid that much for a pair of shoes in my life. Oh to be young and have your own spending money!

He knew when the package would be delivered, but there was a problem. He was going to be on vacation so he asked if he could use my address for the delivery. Of course, I said yes.

Today is the day. Since I know how much he paid for the package I don't want to go anywhere until it arrives. I am not sure if it is coming UPS of FedEx but kids are out of school now and it could be stolen if it is left on my front porch.

So today I am patiently waiting for my grandson's very important delivery. After all I agreed to be responsible.

Thursday, June 8, 2017


For the last few weeks I have been doing everything possible to improve my current physical challenges. I refuse to allow my body to be taken over by age. Although regular exercises and changes in diet have made an improvement I am getting impatient to see the results I expect.

Patience is a skill I have had a problem with my entire life. It is no doubt a side effect of wanting to control things. I'm sure I'm not the only one dealing with acquiring this skill. Today I decided I would research the word patience and see what others had to say on the subject.

Patience is not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. 

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.

Sometimes things are not clear right away. That's where you need to be patient and see where things lead.

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting, that is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow- that is patience.

Patience can't be acquired overnight. It is just like building a muscle. Every day you need to work on it.

It takes patience to listen...It takes skill to pretend you are actually listening.

It has been said good things come to those who wait. All I have to say is whatever is coming had better be freaking fantastic!  

It appears that I am not the only one after all. I guess I will just have to keep plugging along and hope patience will eventually catch up to me.

Sunday, June 4, 2017


Even though I have searched on for relatives there are some questions I will probably never get answers to. It bugs me because there is nobody left who can give me the answers I am seeking. Perhaps the secrets of the past are supposed to remain secrets.

I found out as a teenager that my mother had been married before she married my father. According to my grandmother she was too immature to be a wife. That could have been a prejudiced opinion. That marriage does not show up on any records that I have found and I want to know the man's name and when they were married. I have no clue why I just do. He could have been my father.

The second question involves my maternal grandmother and her first husband, who died when my mother was a child. I found the mention of the fact on that they had a son in addition to my mother. There is no mention of a name for the child, which I find rather odd. My natural curiosity wants to know- what the heck? Why doesn't the child have a name? Was it stillborn? Was it given away for adoption? Was my biological grandfather even the father? Apparently I will never know the answer to those questions and it bugs me. That child was my maternal uncle.

It reminds me of an experience when my daughter was young. We were looking through some pictures and found one of my first wedding. Oops! I had not mentioned that I had been married before or that her brothers were half brothers. I wasn't intending to hide anything. It just never came up. The boys were 18 and 13 when she was born. Another interesting fact to this paragraph is that my first husband had also been married before and had a daughter, who would be a half sister to our two sons. I have no idea who she is, where she is or what her name is now. All I know is that her mother's maiden name was Wheeler and she lived in Seattle, Washington..

I guess stuff happens that gets buried if nobody asks questions. The intention is not always to hide the facts, but the facts are still important and can cause anxiety to future generations.

Perhaps the lesson is keep asking questions before it is too late.

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Family is family

It doesn't matter if family members are still living or not they are still family. Today I sent a copy of a family tree to my oldest granddaughter. She is probably oldest by a few minutes because she is a twin. She also, in my opinion, has the most common sense so perhaps she will care and pass on the information. Maybe, maybe not.

She and her two siblings seem to forget that there are two sides to every family. Their mother's side is predominately Native American and that seems to be all they care about. There are three more nationalities on their father's side; French, Scottish, Swedish and English.

It took me several years to go back on and get everything on my side of the family in order as far back as I could. I didn't even know the names of my biological grandfathers who both died before I was born. It is very sad that people just don't seem to care about the past anymore. The only paternal grandfather my granddaughter knew was a step grandfather and he recently died. Her biological paternal grandfather, Warren S. Smith, died in 2008 and she probably doesn't even know his name

Whether the 54 people from my family tree, going back to the 1800s, are alive or dead they are still family members and deserve to be remembered. At some point my great grandchildren, will be looking for this information. I just made it easier for them. It's the least I could do for their future.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

A brand new month

Looking back at May I see my calendar was all marked up with appointments for various physical problems. I am glad that's over and I can began this month with a new schedule.

My foot problem (gout) has passed and my foot doctor, my PA and I have all agreed to take a wait and see attitude. We are waiting to see if my body decides to do it again. If it does the first step is to eliminate the water pill I have been taking for years to control my blood pressure. Everyone agrees that could be what is causing a build up of uric acid. The attack was not likely due to food, although I have given more thought to my diet and added yogurt, more fruits and vegetables and water. I have also included vitamin B12 and C supplements to help things  move in the right direction. Oh and I discovered the frozen stuff I was having for lunch was loaded with hidden sodium, which of course was what was increasing my blood pressure.When I stopped eating them it went down.

I was due to finish my month of physical therapy for my rotator cuff problem, but my therapist and I have decided to add a month of once a week therapy. Although I do the exercises at home I feel I need that little extra push to spend more time on them. My therapist and I do feel that all I really need is regular exercise. Again we will see, but I am looking forward to positive results. I have been told that at my age surgery is not an option. That's good because I didn't want that option anyway!

Deciding that any appointments with my chiropractor were going to just have to wait, whether she agreed or not, I reached the conclusion that it was counter productive. After discussing it with two physical therapists I was convinced that it is my body and my decision.

For the most part I have a great team of people doing their best to keep me healthy. I love it when everyone agrees and we are all on the same path. I am looking forward to a brand new month with a lot fewer physical appointments and problems. Following suggestions and  keeping positive thoughts are going to be my contribution to a great outcome. 

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Speaking of trails

 Interesting how life seems to leave a trail and whether we notice it or not it's there.

I just finished a book titled, Alone Again,. I didn't like it, but it reminded me of an e-book I have listed on Amazon titled Spirits of Cibola County. It also reminded me that I am a very good writer. The book I just read began with no preface and was a collection of short stories that didn't seem to have any connection. The last story was supposed to be the author's life. He explained he had found a book that inspired him to write a similar one. He simply copied the format. Interesting, but no cigar!

My book on the other hand came from my own mind and a curiosity about my neighbors. I know that each story has a tiny thread that leads to the next one. All I had to do was follow the thread and my own intuition. Many of the 64 stories first appeared in columns I wrote for the Cibola Beacon, with the last few added to help get it up to date. It begins with a brief history of Cibola County, New Mexico to give readers an idea of the area.

The stories also led to a sister blog to this one in 2014 called Cibola Images. It was meant to promote my adopted home town and the people who live here. I shared a few of the stories combined with pictures and tidbits of things that were happening. After awhile I noticed it didn't get much response so I let it sit and sit.

About the same time that I finished reading, Alone Again, I shuffled my Doreen Virtue Angel Cards and drew Entrepreneur. At first I thought, "Oh come on what does that have to do with anything?" The first part of the card read:Self employment suits your disposition and intentions. Working for yourself allows you to better follow your intuition and Divine guidance

Well alright I'll buy that!

I immediately remembered my vow to not write for the Beacon again. I like writing my blog because I do not have an editor screwing up the points I know I am supposed to make. As an example one of the things that always bothered me in writing a newspaper column is the fact that women are referred to by their last name i.e. Gunn. In the first place I was born with a last name of Halverson, Gunn was just borrowed. Why don't men get it? In my opinion it is disrespectful.

I'm not really sure what I am going to do with the sister blog, but there is a real possibility that I will try to pick up that thread again. A lot of changes have taken place in the area since I stopped writing in 2014 and I only used a tiny portion of the life stories I had at my fingertips. I have written permission from the subjects to promote them in any way I choose to use them.

Often the trail continues when something you don't like pushes you to move forward. I have found that happens a lot when negative people appear out of nowhere. They are only roadblocks giving us a little time to refocus. 

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Is this the year?

The trail of deaths in my family occurring in years ending in the number 7 is amazing. Since this is 2017 I am wondering if it is my turn.

My paternal grandfather died in 1937, the year I was born. A paternal uncle in 1947, my paternal grandmother in 1957, my father in 1967 and my mother in 1987.

Back in 2007 when I was writing my book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist, I also noticed this trend and asked the same question as the year flowed into 2008. Nothing happened. Whew!

One of my ex-husband's cousins did die unexpectedly recently. Maybe that counts. It made me a little nervous as he was about the same age as my oldest son.

Before I go any further I do realize that we do not die, we simply leave our bodies behind and go back to where we came from, the spirit world.

The year 2017 is almost half over and I am again asking is it my turn? Even though I have had some physical stuff pop up lately I am actually enjoying the challenge of doing my part to fix them.

I am not ready to leave earth quite yet. I know there are still important things left for me to do. I would be very happy to stick around until 2027 or even 2037 if I could leave as a happy healthy 100!

Thursday, May 18, 2017


Reading a friend's blog post about an encounter with a person who asked to pray for her reminded me of an experience in my own life. Oddly it happened in 2011, right before I met the person for the first time who wrote the blog post I just read.

Everything is connected- believe it!

My story:
In the fall of 2011 I was kidnapped by Cibola General Hospital for two weeks following unexpected surgery for a blocked bowel. The nursing staff kept assuring me my doctor would let me go home any day. Right!! Apparently he didn't get the message.

I had a special male nurse named Teddy. He made me laugh when he said he was my very own Teddy. That was a detour, now on with my story. He often relayed tidbits that I probably wasn't supposed to know.
One night Teddy gave me some information from my doctor's notes. He told me if my body didn't start behaving I was going to have to have followup surgery. NO!!!!!

The next day I heard voices in the hall and noticed a woman who was a cousin of my ex-husband. She and a friend were making hospital calls, praying for the patients. I'm not going to say I have never prayed, but not on a regular schedule. Anyway they came into my room and asked if I wanted to pray with them. I shared that I might have to have a second surgery and replied, "You can pray FOR me if you want to."

I'm not sure if it worked or not but the next day my body decided to start behaving and the second surgery was not necessary. It is also the day I met the woman whose blog I just read. She was on a trip to visit someone and decided to stop by the hospital and check on me. We are Facebook friends and have been friends ever since. You might know her as Lois. She often comments on my blog.

The healing continues

My son had a followup appointment for his finger wound this morning and has been released to go back to work. The stitches come out next Tuesday. ( See previous post if confused.) Because he is a case manager in a prison he has been cautious. He said anything one could expect to find germ wise can be found in a prison. Even though he doesn't need to keep it wrapped anymore he will still use a finger cover while at work.

My unexpected gout attack has decided to leave me alone. Although very painful it lasted for a little less than a week with medication. (Also see previous post if confused.) I still have no idea what caused it. I don't drink alcohol and the list of foods that are known to cause it don't really fit. It may not ever happen again and I am refusing to take medication for the rest of my life until I have more information. A blood test does show a high level of uric acid, but not over the normal level.

Tuesday I went back to physical therapy for my shoulder (rotator cuff problem), which is getting better. I had to cancel one session because my foot was so swollen I couldn't stand to do the exercises, although I did what I could at home. I didn't want to start all over again when I went back to therapy. No more excuses! 

The healing continues and as my friend Lois always says- onward and upward! I may need to change that to "moving on"!

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

An unfortunate chain of events.

The universe has gone out of its way to prove that everything is connected. Every action has a reaction and I guess it depends on the kind of person you are just how you will react.

I had recently ordered a tee shirt for my grandson and it finally arrived. I had left a couple of phone messages asking him to come and pick it up. He only lives two doors from me. The shirt was what my mother would have called "an unbirthday gift". It was for no reason except I thought he would like to wear it. I waited several days and he didn't respond. I thought he might be out of town.

My son was going to town on an errand and I asked him to drop it off on his way.

The door was opened by his sister, her known to be mean dog and my grandson. My son delivered the shirt and for some reason reached down to pet the dog, who I understand was growling. He always growls. The dog decided to bite the hand that was attempting to pet him. My son pulled his hand away and the dog's teeth left a 3" gash along a finger on his left hand.

Admittedly I wasn't there so this is second hand information.

To continue the tale. My daughter apparently provided some gauze to wrap around the wound which by then was dripping blood. My son managed to come home and we cleaned up the wound a little and proceeded to go to the ER to have it looked at. BTW his insurance deductible is $250 per ER visit. His finger was in really bad shape.

It really annoyed me that his sister never even called to see how he was. After making sure the wound was covered as much as possible and treating it with an antibiotic he went to work Monday at the prison where he and his sister are both employed. His sister informed him that the bite was not her fault. Her house, her dog, but it wasn't her responsibility.

He was able to have the wound checked out at the doctor's office yesterday. He was also told, since it was still dripping fluid, that he couldn't go back to work until tomorrow, hopefully. In addition to the other expenses this is using up some of his vacation time for this year.

The point of this post is I am wondering who is responsible for the bills it will create?

1. I feel somewhat responsible because I asked him to deliver the shirt which my grandson should have been responsible to have picked up
2. It was my daughter's dog, who was not restrained and did the deed.
3. Knowing the dog is basically mean my son should have ignored him.

Since my son is reluctant to give his sister a bill to submit to her house insurance I feel like I should at least offer to pay half of the ER bill to help him out. His reasoning, "I have to work with her". I can understand that but it isn't fair. 

I can't do anything about my daughter's lack of compassion except wonder what happened to cause it. If it had been my house and my dog I would have taken responsibility- no question!

P.S. In case you are wondering why I didn't deliver the shirt, I had an attack of gout and could barely get a shoe on for a couple of days.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Help I'm stuck in the kitchen!

Well another Mother's Day is about here and I can count on a gift from at least one of my three grown children. That would be my oldest son who has been living with me for almost three years. 90% of the time his gifts always seem to be focused on the kitchen.What the heck is going on here?

In recent years I have received a new microwave, a new electric griddle, a new kitchen faucet, a large set of plastic storage containers and a spice rack containing new spices (some of which I have never heard of).

This year he is installing a new cook top hood to match the new black appliances I just purchased and had installed. There was really nothing wrong with the old one unless you count 40 years of grease. I know he is trying to be helpful but these are the most interesting  gifts I have ever heard of.

At least I can count on my young grandson to give me a cool basket of flowers or a piece of jewelry, something more motherly. Considering that  this son is the only one of my three children who remembers that they have a mother I know I should be grateful for whatever he gives me.

Even though I do love to cook and really enjoy trying out new recipes that's not all I do. For one thing I write this blog! This year I decided to buy myself a gift. On a website I found a really cool shirt that pretty much says it all. So I ordered one for myself.


Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Life goes on even when you don't

I've been taking a break and trying to get my house in better shape. We bought it new in 1977 so it is far from, but still in pretty good shape considering. This last week I removed the entrance floor tiles and my son installed the new ones. I think it looks pretty nice and only cost about $40. Take a look.

The next project is the kitchen floor, which we will replace with sheet vinyl sometime this weekend. Picture later as right now it is still at Home Depot waiting for my son to pick it up this afternoon.  When that is installed the next project is removing the carpet in the living room, dinning room, two bedrooms and my office. That is going to be a very dusty mess, but I am tired of sneezing. It's been on the floors for years and it makes me laugh to think of the stories it could tell and the conversations it has witnessed.

In any case, that project will no doubt be done in sections or perhaps not. More on that later. After my divorce in 1999 I gradually replaced almost every piece of furniture, not all at once of course. I really don't understand the younger generation going into debt. Patience just doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary.

Besides working on our living conditions I just began a month of physical therapy to improve a shoulder problem. Once again I am very grateful for Cibola Sports and Physical Therapy right here in Grants, NM.  My therapist is extremely understanding and good at what he does. After only two sessions I already see progress.

It sure would be nice if my entire body would work at the same time. It's always a surprise when something new pops up. That's when I see Mike. When I look around at other people my age it's hard not to think I've done a pretty good job of taking care of myself. Okay my guide is probably thinking, "less sugar would be a good idea". I'm still working on that and I'm leaving it for another day.

Friday, April 28, 2017

I'm just a kid

I recently had a conversation with a teenager that I know well. He was stressed because he felt his stepfather was being too hard on him. I tended to agree but I didn't want to take sides. In my experience there is too much side taking in relationships by people who are not even part of the problem.

This young man is in my opinion doing a great job of growing up. He is trying to keep his grades up, he has a part time job after school and also does what he can to help out his community by volunteering. He has an interest in sports, skate boarding, music and has a great group of friends who do not do drugs. He also has specific chores to do at home. I wonder how much more can a parent ask of a teenager?

According to the young man his stepfather just got a promotion at work and is having difficulty adjusting. He is taking his frustration out on other people, especially his stepson.

As I said I was trying not to take sides as I listened to his complaints. I was very impressed when he said, "I'm just a kid trying to grow up." Perhaps his stepfather should remember that too.

I replied, "I know you are having a hard time right now and I feel bad about that. I think you should stand up for yourself, but don't talk back to your stepfather. Most of all remember how lucky you are to have him in your life and all of the things he has done for you."

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

God said no

Lately I have become angry with people who live by the quote "put it in God's hands" and then sit back and wait for him/her to take care of their current problem. Our Creator isn't some kind of a genie who will magically cure all. If that were the case the world would be in much better shape than it is; and if that were the case the lessons offered by the mess the world is in would not exist and neither would we.

I firmly believe in the quote "God takes care of those who help themselves".

Years ago a friend told me that she attends church, puts her problems in God's hands and when she leaves she takes them back. Now that made sense to me, perhaps not at the time though. She didn't expect God to do it all, she just needed a little breather to think.

Back in 2012 I took a hearing test and found out that hearing aides would be a great benefit to me. They were pretty expensive, considering my income. I didn't want to take money out of my savings. I could have sat back and prayed that they would magically drop down from the sky prepaid, of course. What I did instead was to take a part time job for a few months. Even though I did not like the job it paid for the hearing aides and I was debt free when it ended.

Something zipped past my Facebook newsfeed a few days ago that caught my attention.It was a little article titled, God Said No! As I read it I thought, Wow this is so good and pretty much the way I feel. Today I am sharing the message for you to think about.

I asked God to take away my habit. God said no. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said no. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. God said no. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said no.I give you blessings; happiness is up to you. I asked God to spare me pain. God said no. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said no. You must grow your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said no. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things. I asked God to help me LOVE others as much as He loves me. God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea. This day is yours don't throw it away...may God bless you.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

To extend a hand or not

All through life there are people we come across who need assistance. Of course, it would be impossible to help them all. There are a few instances that stand out in my mind and I am asking myself what made me choose those particular souls to help. For some time I have been aware that I have very strong intuition and I know it is the voice of my soul. Some refer to it as an inner voice. Whatever its name perhaps that is what sends up a flag to my conscious mind to help a particular person in need.

I am going to share a few such stories, not to spout off how generous I am, but to try to figure out just what pushes that little button in my mind that says- help this one please.

For the second time in as many months two different Facebook friends have needed financial assistance and without giving it a moment's thought I have donated what I could afford to their causes. I have been friends with both of these people for several years, although I have only briefly connected with one in person. I have over a hundred online friends and there are only a few that I would quickly rush to their assistance. Why, I wonder? I would consider both of these friends members of my spiritual tribe. Maybe that's it? Maybe not.

I don't always know the person. There is just something about them that gets my attention and causes me to help. One such experience occurred as I was having lunch with a female friend. Our waiter was a very nice young man who was feeling quite desperate as he related his personal story to us. His wife was ill, they were not getting any help, they had little money, the restaurant would be closing soon etc. What really got me was he had lost faith and was ready to give up. He didn't ask for anything, but as we were leaving I put a large amount of money in an envelope and left it for him with a note. I have no idea what caused me to do that, but I have never been sorry that I did. I never saw him again, but I hope it helped a little to restore his faith in humanity.

Another instance of not knowing the person happened outside of Walmart. A lady was asking for help. I usually ignore these people, but there was something about her that made me stop. I didn't offer her money but I did take her into the store and bought groceries for her and her family. I also ended up taking her into town and deposited her at the motel where they were staying. She said her husband was out of work and they were stuck. As it turned out I needed some yard work done and ended up paying her husband to do it for me the next day. He worked fast and did an excellent job. Again I never saw these people again.

I am no closer to an answer to my question than I was when I began my story. Perhaps extending a hand or not is not entirely in my hands. I have always believed our Creator is a giant people user.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Happy Easter

Taking a brief break to refocus.Wishing all of my readers a most peaceful Easter weekend.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Do not bully me

I just saw a picture of a young boy who was born with a mouth full of horrible teeth and was bullied until he got them fixed. It reminded me of my own life growing up and I wondered just what's with these kids nowadays?

I guess I was bullied, especially as a child, I had just never heard the word. In addition to the crooked teeth problem I also began wearing glasses when I was about four or so. And yes these facts did affect my self-esteem for many years, but I survived and eventually grew to believe in myself. Today I don't really care what anyone else thinks about me. I am who I am and if people don't like what they see- tough!

After seeing the picture of the little boy with the horrible teeth I decided to check out quotes about bullying just for the heck of it and to give my readers something to think about. Bullying does hurt even if you aren't familiar with the word.

Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right. ~Theodore Roosevelt

If they don't like you for being yourself, be yourself even more. ~Taylor Swift

I wish every day could be Halloween. We could all wear masks all the time. Then we could walk around and get to know each other before we got to see what we looked like under the mask.~RJ. Palacio

A young outcast will often feel there is something wrong with himself, but as he gets older, grows more confident in who he is, he will adapt. He will begin to feel there is something wrong with everyone else. ~Criss Jami, Killosophy

People who repeatedly attack your confidence and self-esteem are well aware of your potential, even if you are not. ~Wayne Trotman

Bullying is a horrible thing. It sticks with you forever, but only if you let it. ~Heather Brewer

As a friend of mine used to tell me, "Think about it".

Tuesday, April 4, 2017


Recently a friend was impressed with the message found at the top of my blog. Everyone leaves footprints as they walk on their assigned path and you never know who you might inspire by sharing your experiences. It pretty much explains what my blog is all about. It began with the desire to share the simple things that happen on any given day of my life. Nothing extraordinary just ordinary experiences.

 I believe we are all living the life of a human to share our experiences in whatever manner we can. It helps to know that we are not alone in the challenges we deal with. During this season of Lent it reminds me that the real stories shared in the Bible by other people are not so different from the challenges we deal with today. It serves as a guide and helps us remember that we are not alone.

Over the years of writing and sharing my thoughts more than one person has chosen to extract me from their life, but that is alright. If what I wrote caused them to think for themselves that was a good thing.

So I am going to continue sharing my thoughts and giving thanks for everyone whom I might inspire to do the same.