Communication is important

A post on Facebook just popped up that got my attention. It was about how sad it is when family members do not communicate with each other. The children are the ones who suffer because of the wounded egos of the adults. I have personal experience along these lines and there isn't anything I can do but accept the situation. It reminded me of a life story from my E-book, Spirits of Cibola County, which I would like to share with my readers. It is titled Mother and Child.

To make life simple, close your eyes and pretend you are a child. What if eye contact was the major means of communicating with your child? Because of a tragic accident, that is basically how Jan reaches her son Dustin.

Eleven years ago when he was sixteen he survived a freak hang glider accident. The accident caused a severe closed head injury to his brain stem, leaving him with extremely limited motor skills. While still holding on to the hang glider Dustin was carried thirty feet down Mt. Taylor.

He was eventually flown to University of New Mexico Hospital where doctors informed his mother he had a one in ten million chance of living through the night. The prognosis was that he would be a vegetable if he survived at all. He has spent time in several facilities that didn't work out because he wasn't making suitable progress. Since February 1990 Dustin has been a resident of Grants Good Samaritan Center in Grants, New Mexico. 

To watch his mother one would not suspect she has such a tremendous challenge in her life. Her positive spirit is reflected in her smile her manner and the joyful music she plays on the activity room piano. Jan and her husband make three trips a week to visit and help care for their son. From day one Jan has believed God will heal her son.

Some people think she is in denial and won't accept what has happened, or that she is just plain crazy. She doesn't know how or when only that he will be healed. Jan gives her son an enormous amount of credit for his positive outlook and sense of humor. When given a choice between mom, Mickey Mouse or Godzilla, Dustin blinked Godzilla is his hero.

This is not the only stressful situation Jan has lived through. The year 1994 was not great, as her son's father died of a massive heart attack and she faced a second bout of cancer alone. She went to work nine days after surgery instead of the two weeks suggested by her doctor because she had to eat. Jan met her current husband at the nursing home when he came to visit his mother who was also a resident. The couple have been married for five years.

Dustin's room is quite unique. On the ceiling above his bed is a large picture of Tyra Banks with a small amount of clothes on. It was a birthday gift from his young nephew. Thanks to the New Mexico Hang Gliding Association his room also sports a special wheelchair and an even more special Eye Gave System Computer made by LC Technology of Fairfax, Virginia.

The $20,000 computer lets Dustin use his eyes to manipulate the keys, which allows him to talk to his family and the staff. He is able to tell them what hurts and how he is doing. The machine also gives Dustin some recreation with programmed games. His mother thinks he cheats a lot.

He could actually write his own story if he had a volunteer to assist him. Someone has to get him in the proper position and set up the machine. In a typed message Dustin old me I am a genius. When I disagreed, he insisted.

Jan made it quite clear that she gets upset with people who think her son is stupid. He is bright, funny and hears and understands everything that is said to him. When she visits she tells him what she has been doing. His friends visited for awhile but didn't know what to say to him. Jan wants people to realize that those who have trouble communicating, for whatever reason, still have a need to be recognized.

When dealing with a facility run by a corporation simple things are not always simple. Even though a volunteer to help Dustin run his computer was found it did not happen because of strings which needed to be pulled to make it a reality.

It is difficult to separate the spirit of this mother and child. They both have strength beyond measure. Children can sometimes be a pain in the neck, as well as other places. Perhaps next time your children annoy you because they are making too much noise, you will think of this mother and child and simply be grateful that they can.

Author's note:
This story was written with full permission from Jan and Dustin. At the time I worked for the facility as the Resource Development Coordinator and was told by the administrator that it was against the facility rules to write it. I did it anyway and it was published in my Cibola Beacon newspaper column, Who We Are. I left a copy on the administrator's desk, he read it and said, "it is very good". Sadly Dustin is now deceased.