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Monday, August 30, 2010

What Makes a House a Home?

I’ve walked into many houses that are definitely not homes. Some are so cluttered with stuff that I couldn’t find a place to sit down. Then there are those that are so sterile they appear to be a set for a photo shoot, making me afraid to touch anything or even breathe. I would not want to live in either one.

I believe a house is simply a building, a place to store your possessions; a home houses your heart and soul and abundantly overflows with love.

Many years ago I heard a quote that has stuck in my mind. “A home should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be joyfully lived in.” A little dust I've heard just means someone is either coming or going.

Poet Edgar A. Guest put it another way, “It takes a heap o livin’ in a house to make it a home.”

A Japanese Proverb states “Into the house where joy lives happiness will gladly come.”

In my wanderings I found this wonderful poem by blogger Rita Bourland ( pretty much sums it up.

What Makes a House a Home?

The newspaper strewn on the family room couch,
a coffee cup perched on the floor,
a clock softly ticking the minutes away
of our precious time spent here on earth.

A cat on the hearth, purrs soft, warm and low,
a bird at the feeder sings sweetly each morn,
a mother hums tunes to her infant at night,
a father so proud- his heart feels so light.

There are pictures in frames, piles of books,
coasters and notepads, shoe racks and hats,
there are mittens and coats, boots and blue jeans,
laundry in stacks near the washing machine.

But all of these things matter not much
as you ponder the meaning of home,
it’s what you feel first
when you walk through the door
that makes a house truly a home.

The house might be empty of all worldly goods
leaving only the people inside.
yet they’ll fill up your heart with love and good cheer
and welcome you in from the cold.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Jerry's Story (Spirits of Cibola County)

To effectively lead one must learn to follow. The principal in charge of our largest private school is one of the most serene respectful people I have ever met. His singular attention to the person he is talking to causes immediate respect for the man. Jerry makes one feel that what they have to say is of utmost importance.

His well-rounded background and personal life experiences make him an ideal principal. He gave me the following quote, "A teacher is like a plumber, they are as good as the tools they have."

He believes in giving his teachers the tools they need and letting them teach. He encourages them to share their life experiences with their students. On a regular basis he observes classes and gives teachers positive feedback for improvement. His expectation for them is that they are professional and accountable and have a desire to be there.

Jerry also believes the reason the school is a success is because the board of education is not elected. It is made up of community-minded dedicated volunteers who are service-oriented.

Before retiring from the public school system in 1997 as interim/associate superintendent for Grants/Cibola County Schools, he filled a wide variety of positions. He was a teacher, bilingual education director, kindergarten director, assistant principal and a principal. Jerry also worked for 12 years in the central office as Director of Personnel and Instruction. Some of his many duties included hiring teachers, evaluating principals and overseeing the high school courses.

His Navy experiences taught him to follow directions and respect others. He said it also taught him to appreciate life. He was stationed in Hong Kong where the village people willingly worked in the galley cleaning the slop trays.

Jerry said, "They were so hungry they took it home." It made an impression, which stayed with him throughout his life. He left the Navy as a second class petty officer

One of his heroes is an older brother who died one month before he was to receive his law degree. Jerry is the youngest of a large family. Seven siblings died very young. Five boys and two girls survived. He received strong family values from his parents who were married for 55 years. His father was a self taught brilliant translator who loved to share his experiences. His mother was a giving outgoing people person who loved helping others.

Jerry said his life revolves around his wife of over forty years and his two daughters who are both teachers. St.Teresa Catholic School is fortunate to have such a person willing to lead them on their journey of education.

(Jerry retired for good about three years ago, but he still generates hugs from former students whenever they see him. I am grateful that my grandson is one of those students.)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Me and...

For the last couple of days the words to the song Me and My Shadow have been running around in my head. The once popular song was composed in 1927. I wonder what the lyricist, Billy Rose, was really thinking when he came up with the words.

Just me and my shadow
Walking down the avenue
No one to tell my troubles to
All alone and feeling blue
When it's twelve o'clock we climb the stairs
We never knock 'cause nobody's there
Me and my shadow all alone and feeling blue

The song could pretty well describe my current life, except for the blue part. When I think of my shadow as my inner self, my soul it makes me feel very loved, even when there is nobody else around. It's an exclusive little club just meant for two- me and my shadow.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


My daughter-in-law died on August 13th and the next day I wrote my personal tribute "Home to Rest", honoring her life. Today I am grateful that I followed my intuition and wrote the piece. I have looked and looked and cannot find an obituary for her.

Mary-Ellen was a member of the Acoma Indian Tribe and during her last hours on earth she and her family decided on a traditional Native American service. I'm not sure exactly when that took place because I was not invited nor informed of the details. All I know about this kind of funeral is that the deceased's remains are watched over by family members the night before burial, a Wake is observed, the remains are buried (usually in a simple pine box)without embalming on Tribal land.

Our local paper is only published on Tuesday and Friday (I told you Grants is a little town). A local joke is that if nobody attends your funeral it isn't because you weren't liked, it's because you died on the wrong day and nobody knew about it.

Three issues of the Beacon have come out since her death and still no obit. I checked with the Albuquerque Journal (a real newspaper and the town in which she died) and still no obit.

Today I just feel very sad for her spirit. She lived at least 30 years of her life in Cibola County and for the last 2 had been the office manager for a local insurance company in Grants. People knew her, she had friends here. She was more than a Native American. Her life mattered to many people in the community.

This is not the first time something similar has happened in my life. An ex-husband and the father of my two sons died in May of 2008 in a town outside of Phoenix, Arizona. My daughter and I tried unsuccessfully for weeks to locate an obituary, mainly to discover the cause of death for his children. I know he died because a lady from Social Security informed me that he did and that fact increased my income, not a lot, but enough for now.

My children know that I desire to be cremated and I am leaving the option to have a simple memorial service (preferably outside without benefit of clergy) up to them. I know from my own experience with my mother's death that a service of some kind is a good idea for the well being of survivors. if you don't have a chance to say goodbye stuff gets carried around like useless baggage.

Not leaving anything to chance, several years ago I wrote my own obituary, which I occasionally update. I would hate to have worked this hard to survive the life I signed up for and not have anyone know it was over. That is just wrong!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

More than I Need

For the last three days I have been attacking the weeds in my back yard. Note the stairway to the stars above. I have about 1/4 of an acre behind my house that isn't good for much except weeds. Now I could just ignore them, but that wouldn't be me. The rain we have been having lately is good and bad; although it produces more weeds it also makes the ground soft, which in turn makes them easier to pull. Yes, I said pull. As I mentioned in an earlier post I do not possess modern tools to take care of the problem.

I keep telling God that my property and in fact my 3 bedroom, plus a 20'X 20' addition, mobile home is also more than I need. I would think he would actually be able to see that without my help. My "house" is over 30 years old, but is in good shape. Problem is because it is technically old and a mobile home, known as a trailer by some, I couldn't sell it for enough to move anywhere else. Got the picture? I'm pretty much stuck where I am for now at least. It really is a shame because a family with a kid or two could live here quite comfortably.

In the meantime I do the best I can to keep what I have in good working condition and continue asking God to help me solve my problem. It is quite clear that I definitely have more than I need.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Christine's Story (Spirits of Cibola County)

Christine, an employee of a local chain store, recently made a decision to stand up for herself as a human being. A customer service manager had been treating her as if she had no brains. On the last day of her employment she was rudely ordered to perform a task the manager could have done herself. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

She finished her shift, took off her uniform, clocked out and left. Christine breathed a sigh of relief. It was not the first time in her life that she had been abused. She had divorced her alcoholic husband ten years earlier because he had physically abused her for years.

Being a Spanish Catholic she had put off getting a divorce because it had been hammered into her head to stay married no matter what. She told her three daughters, "Do not hit anyone, especially men, because they hit back- hard."

During her marriage she worked hard to earn her GED and has since taken several classes for self-improvement.

Christine said she never felt loved. Her father had also been an alcoholic and left the home when she was three years old. Most of her life she blamed her mother for her unhappiness until she realized her mother had done her best under the circumstances.

Feeling a strong spiritual tone coming into her life is confusing Christine. She is risking questioning traditions and rules she has grown up with. She has begun to gather information and think for herself. She admits needing to remind herself that she has value and deserves to be treated with respect.

Christine said, "Sometimes I feel like a failure that has never finished anything."

If she could view herself from the outside she would see that is not true. She has nurtured three children and guided them to a place where they can survive on their own as adults.

She spent her life doing things for others that they could have done for themselves. Christine feels she has taken the blame for everything around her even when it was not her fault. It became habit forming. Sometimes it is difficult for us to clearly see our own life and where we are headed. We often need the assistance of someone looking at it from a with a detached view.

Christine knows that each time she risks doing something new, even if it sounds impossible she is moving in a positive direction. She was born with the tools to be a positive loving person and only needs to give herself permission to use them. Christine is now learning that when something hurts it needs to be dealt with and not swept under the carpet.

(Since her story was written, Christine moved away. When I last heard from her she was happily employed as a caretaker for an elderly woman.)

P.S. After re-typing this story I realized that I got by with a lot while writing my human interest column! There is a big difference between a columnist and a reporter.
Columnists get to think for themselves, reporters record what others think.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A Free Game

Let's start with a quote written by everyone's friend, Anonymous, that seems applicable.

"Tell me and I forget, show me and I remember, involve me and I understand."

This afternoon I came up with a little mental game that really doesn't take much mental effort and it's fun. I would like to challenge you to try your own version. I'm pretty sure that when you finish it will lift your spirits. Oh, by the way, you can't loose!

Make a list of the most important people in your life, those people that you are attracting right now. They are your mirrors. Now, after each name list what you like best about that person.

Now for the fun part! Pick out the qualities they all have in common. Ah ha do you see yourself? I'll bet you do.

If you want to know how far you have come, go back say 10 years and do the same thing with those souls. Progress- yes? If no, I just gave you something to work on.

My Love Should Be Enough

This morning I read a post from a fellow blogger, claiming to share God's messages. At first I agreed with what I got from it, but then as the day went on I changed my mind. The post dealt with the subject of humans looking for love other than that coming from God.

The whole message seemed to be, why should we seek love from the world when we already have all we need- God's love? The quote that made me a bit angry was, "You have the King's love and you rummage in the streets for handouts." To me it sounded like a very self-centered, controlling, jealous master. That isn't my interpretation of my Creator and it is difficult to fathom that it came from God. It would be the same as a parent saying to their child, "I gave you life, you don't need love from anyone else."

Isn't experiencing love in all its forms the reason we are living a human life? How else can we evolve our souls I wonder?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Interesting People

My morning has yielded personal observations from people God put on my path. First there is Bob, a retiree whose health is at times a bit shaky. He tries to walk at Futures every morning because he knows first hand that the saying "use it or loose it" is true.

Lately regulars just haven't been walking and it seems such a shame. Our conversation led to discussing a mutual friend who hasn't seemed to be herself lately and has stopped walking and using the exercise room. Bob thinks she needs to change doctors. I told him I had gone to the same chiropractor for 27 years before I realized he was not helping me. When you look around and something isn't right its time to make a change.

An older lady came into the gym and began a conversation with Bob. The first thing he did was remove a tool from his pocket to check her blood pressure and oxygen level. They talked for awhile, then Bob said, "Are you ready to race?" They were adorable, he with his oxygen mask and she with her walker. The sight made me laugh as I left the gym to keep an appointment with Rose, my current chiropractor. I have been straining my lower back lately trying to keep up with the weeds in my yard. I think I need a goat!

I love Rose and am grateful to have connected with her. This morning we had time to talk about personal experiences. I discovered we were both born in December and is possibly why we get along so well. I was also told Rose and all her siblings were born in Haiti. When she was about five her father immigrated to America, then he sent for her mother and gradually the children. Rose arrived in the US when she was nine, not speaking English.

She learned the language, graduated from High School at 19 and went on to college intending to be an MD. She said in her junior year God told her that wasn't what she was supposed to do. She changed her course to chiropractic. She had a practice in Georgia for several years and a little over a year ago packed up and moved herself and her practice to our little town of Grants.

Not married, Rose works when she needs to, travels when she wants to, has a personal relationship with God, loves her family and visits them often and generally speaking has a great life at age 36. She has come a long way from that little 9 year old girl who couldn't even speak English.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Home to Rest

Last night my daughter-in-law, Mary-Ellen Shutiva, gave up her struggle for life and went home to rest. She was the ex-wife of my second son and the mother of my oldest grandchildren; 24 year old twin daughters, Elizabeth and Elaine and 22 year old son, Andrew.

She had recently been diagnosed with kidney disease and had hoped to live out the year. God had other plans for her. God also was very kind in her last hours on earth. The love of Mary-Ellen's life were her children. She adored them and they adored her. Over the years they have kept in constant touch with each other. Elaine and Andrew were at her bedside along with most of her immediate family when she died. She was alert enough to talk to them and Elizabeth, who is expecting her first baby in 3 weeks,via a phone call.

I am grateful to have known her and that we found a way to heal any past wounds we had long before her death. So many times ex's get shoved to the side when there is a divorce. It's like families feel a need to take sides. I know that feeling quite well from my own experience. When I realized that if it were not for her my three older grandchildren would not exist, I offered an olive branch and she took it.

Peace be with you Mary-Ellen. <3 <3 <3

Friday, August 13, 2010

Steve's Story (Spirits of Cibola County)

We all absorb knowledge on a daily basis. Steve’s brain is like a human PAC Man gobbling up information, sorting it out and storing what is needed for future use. He is a very intelligent, basically self-taught young man who never quite fit into the structure called the public school system.

When asked how he got so smart Steve replied, “I think the caffeine in the Mountain Dew I have been drinking since age 9 makes my brain work better.”

Steve works as a graphic artist and takes pride in his skill. He likes it to be as clean and legible as possible. He also runs his own computer based business, selling software and setting up web sites for clients. He eventually wants to expand his business to create user friendly video games.

Usually even-tempered and patient, Steve gets upset with machines that do not do what they are supposed to do. He believes it is possible to teach a computer to think like we do; to recognize objects in a room and use a voice recognition system.

Starting with first grade, he decided he wanted to be on the honor roll. He worked very hard and it did not happen. He felt he was not recognized. Today he believes it could have started a trend. In second grade his teacher constantly yelled at him and he yelled back. He said he spent a lot of time in the principal’s office that year.

When he was in third grade he was tested and placed in a mentally gifted program in California, where he and his mother lived. He did very well. Then his mother suddenly decided to move to Grants. Steve and his fourth grade teacher did not get along. She made a cardboard doghouse and put it around his desk. His mother loudly protested by voice and in writing. The next year they moved to a different school district.

Steve eventually dropped out of school and earned a GED. He said he never understood why the same subjects are taught year after year, adding, “You don’t have to read every book to know how to read.” Principals are more important to him than mathematical formulas. Steve admits he spent as little time as possible in class during high school.

In talking with Steve it is quite apparent that he is well read and has a wide range of interests. One of his more interesting talents is switching from one accent to another, sometimes in mid sentence. From a young age his mother spoke to him in accents and it sparked his interest. He wants to learn Japanese because there is no conjugation and he likes their culture and history.

Not everyone fits into the public system and it appears that Steve is a prime example of someone who found a better education for himself by himself. He decided to learn his way. He is taking selected classes at NMSU, not for a degree, but for an education in the subjects that will help him reach his potential goals.

(Steve still lives in Grants and is busy making his computer based business a success.)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Assembly Line People?

God doesn't operate an assembly line, shooting out humans left and right. We all get to have our own identity from the inside out. Like snowflakes, no two people are exactly alike, but we all interact with each other.

This fact came to mind this morning as I was using hand clippers to eliminate the tall clumps of grass on the street side of my property. Most of my neighbors have ride on mowers, a fact that made me slightly angry as I looked up the street and observed that my grass was the only one needing a haircut. Everyone knows I live alone and have no help. I would think someone could just notice my predicament and choose to be a good neighbor.

I was thinking that thought as a white van stopped across the street and a man got out. Wow I thought just maybe he felt sorry for me and was going to offer to help, maybe even bring a mower! He came over to where I was and said, "Looks like you're working hard!" I replied, "Well somebody has to do it." Under my breath I added, "My magic wand broke!" Then my Prince Charming handed me a new phone book. I wanted to throw it at him!

Oh well, the offensive clumps are now gone even if I did have to do it the hard way with a very primitive tool.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

School Days School Days

Today was the last day of summer vacation for Cibola County kids. My grandson is a bit unusual; he is thrilled to be starting third grade tomorrow. Of course, he enjoys vacations, but he truly loves school too.

Colin was in my care today. After breakfast and a little cartoon time on the tube, we set out to get him a last minute haircut. His mother looked at him last night, called me and said if you can't get him an appointment I'm going to shave his hair off. I made a quick phone call first thing this morning to the right person and saved his hair!

Next stop was his school to check his class assignment and locate his new room. He was happy to see that he knows several students who will be in his room and plays soccer with a couple of them. Everything looks good so far. His mom will be taking him to school in the morning to help him carry the large number of school supplies requested this year. She said she nearly fainted when the Wal-Mart bill came to $100. Teachers are not being given much money for supplies so it falls on the parents to provide them.

Moving on, for lunch we stopped at Subway and took our haul including, double chocolate chip cookies for Colin and a macadamia cookie for me, to the Riverwalk. We sat at a table by the water with the geese and ducks swimming back and forth. Colin couldn't resist sharing bits of bread with them. He discovered ducks don't like pickles!

So this was Colin's last day before he changes into a big third grade student. Recently he told me he wants to be a cop so he can shoot a gun. I said, "Oh I thought you would be the president." He replied, "I can do that too." As I have said before, nothing stops this kid.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Now What?

"it may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." ~C.S. Lewis

Many of my fellow bloggers have touched on the subject of letting go of the past, forgiving and acknowledging who we really are. Most of my life I have hidden behind other people afraid to move out into the world alone.

I have been a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother. As such I have survived many negative experiences during my life. Some were caused by others and some I caused myself. I am still alive and well.

On this day in my life it is time to drop all the labels, excuses, temporary job titles and start over as if this is the first day of my life on this planet called earth.

Now what? I have no idea what comes next, but I am sick of reliving what was and I am ready for something spectacular. Bring it on I am tired of ordinary!

"If we don't change we don't grow. If we don't grow, we really aren't living". ~Gail Sheely

Friday, August 6, 2010

Millie and Me

Lessons often come unexpected. I was walking alone at "Futures" this morning when one of the regulars I hadn't seen for awhile came in. Millie is around my age and has some physical problems, including a hip replacement and a recent auto accident. They cause her to walk much slower than I normally do. Millie and I started talking and began walking.

I slowed my normal pace and my companion stepped hers up just a bit. We had a very pleasant conversation about nothing in particular as we walked around the gym. After awhile another regular came in and Millie took a break to catch up on news. I went back to walking by myself.

After a few laps Millie stopped me,looked at her pedometer and happily announced, "I can't believe we walked a half mile and I was able to keep up with you." I said, "I was trying not to walk too fast." Millie replied, "I know."

What a nice walk and lesson I experienced this morning and it didn't cost a penny!

Gene's Story (Spirits of Cibola County)

Really knowing a person requires viewing from the inside. A casual observer might say Gene is a severely disabled individual and feel sorry for him. People who have taken the time to disregard his physical appearance, due to a serious birth defect caused by thalidomide, know someone forgot to tell him he is different. He jokes he has no mirrors in his house.

Born in Ohio Gene has 10 brothers and sisters. He attended first grade in a special school until his parents told him he didn’t have to go there if he didn’t want to. He went to regular schools for the remainder of his formal education, ending with a Bachelor of Science degree.

Being a history and geography buff and developing a love for books early in life created a lifetime sense of adventure and a love of people. A high school aptitude test indicated he would be an accountant and lo and behold, five years later he was. Accounting has always come in handy when he needed a job.

Nine years after high school, Gene became an explorer and California was his first adventure. He spent two years traveling and making new friends. Wanting to travel while he was still physically able to do so, he moved on to Alaska. He wanted to hunt, fish and work for an oil company. He worked as an accountant instead.

One of his goals when he was young was to work in the Indian Missions. A friend, who became a Franciscan Priest, was being assigned to the Laguna Indian Reservation near Grants. Gene came with him and stayed.

At one time he tried to return to Ohio, where his mother still lives. It did not work out. He loves this area and the people who live here. He came for adventure and stayed because the people accepted him and made him feel at home.

From 1978 to 1985, Gene worked for the Laguna tribe, learning and teaching home repair skills. A home improvement program was funded by the government to teach residents skills needed to find jobs on their own. The job was fun and he loved using his hands to fix things. He rebuilt old homes until the program funds ran out and the job ended.

For the next five years, the casual observer might say, Gene was a bum. Looking closer, it might have been the portion of his life that allowed the greatest things to be learned and taught. He did not have a job, but worked every day.

If somebody had a problem he felt it was his job to fix it. In return for his expertise, people often fed him. Gene had a routine of friends he visited. Many gratefully trusted him with their most treasured possessions. He was the person people called if they needed a house sitter, a repairman, an accountant or a friend.

A few years ago Gene retired from the New Mexico State Highway Department as a traffic tech. He did work he had wanted to do all his life, traveling the highways and byways, talking to people. He fulfilled his life dream.

Today Gene and his wife of over 20 years, Rose, live in a house on the Laguna Reservation that they have refurbished. A little older and a lot less agile, he still helps others with their problems whenever possible. Gene wanted to be a mountain man and feels fortunate to live at the base of beautiful Mt. Taylor. His advice to others is to follow your dreams.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Do I Exist?

Sometimes things happen that cause me to wonder if I really exist or am I just an illusion. Recently I was featured on a website promoting women aging gracefully. I emailed a local friend to give her a heads up. Last week she emailed back saying she couldn’t find me. Wondering what the problem was I checked it out. My friend was right. I looked through the archives of the 15 women who had previously been featured and I was missing.

So for anyone interested in the requested information that appeared on the site when I was actually on it here goes:

What keeps me young?

Disregarding what my birth certificate says
Hanging out with souls of all ages
Regular exercise- walking is free
Eating healthy, I seldom eat red meat, fried or processed foods
A sense of humor and honesty

What motivates me?

Being grateful for the gift of life
Consciously taking opportunities that evolve my soul
Inspirational writing, my books and blog
A desire to align with Source/soul

Just when I had convinced myself that I do exist after all I opened my mailbox and found a box containing samples of Kraft mayonnaise. It was addressed to my ex husband who hasn’t lived in my house for 11 years!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Get Lost!

Ego ego go away
find another place to play!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Friends is Friends

Remember the old KFC commercial offering the message "parts is parts"? A piece of chicken is chicken it doesn't matter where it comes from! The message came to mind after reading someone's facebook post this morning. It said, "Today my cup is overflowing with gratitude for all of my friends~ in the real world and on facebook."

We do seem to segregate our friends. There are school friends, work friends, family friends, best friends, boy friends, girl friends and the list goes on and on. They come into our lives for a variety of reasons and stick around for as long as they are meant to be there. Friendship is a gift from God; reminding us that we are not walking our path alone.

Another remember when from the "Laverne and Shirley" TV show:
"Friendship Friendship just a perfect blendship
When other friendships have been forgot
Ours will still be hot."

A friend is one who knows you and loves you anyway. ~Elbert Hubbard

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. ~Arnold Glasow

A touching anonymous poem found on the website

If I Could Catch a Rainbow
If I could catch a Rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you are feeling blue
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own
A place to find serenity
A place to be alone
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea
But all these things I am finding
Are impossible to me
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair
But let me be what I know best
A friend that's always there.

Friends come in all shapes, sizes and colors, but the best friend you will ever have is the one found inside. ~me

Monday, August 2, 2010

A Business of One

Several years ago I wrote a poem inspired by someone I knew who worked 24/7 and never took the time to enjoy or even notice anything else, including his family. It is probably the only poem I ever wrote that was a bit on the negative side, but it got the point across to the person it was aimed at.


Congratulations you finally have what you wanted all your life
a business
You have fought and fought for something that you own
a business
Working and scrimping and saving and struggling to hang on to
a business
Your life your family your friends left waiting for attention in place of
a business
No time allotted during an hour a day a month a year for anything but
a business
As God welcomes you into His kingdom at the end of your life,
He probably won’t say, Congratulations, you did well tending to
a business.

About the same time I was struggling to figure out what I was supposed to do now that I was divorced and the job of raising my children had ended. I used my writing and photographic skills to create objects that friends convinced me were saleable. Forging ahead I created a home based business, “Cibola Images”. I obtained a business tax number, had a rubber stamp made, purchased office supplies and advertised locally on TV, in print and word of mouth. I was even listed in the yellow pages. I participated in craft shows and left samples of my creations wherever an opportunity appeared.

Nothing! What does one have to do to get noticed I wondered? “Build it and they will come”- yea right!

It took a few years for me to realize that I didn’t really want a business. I for sure didn’t desire to rent a building, pay extra utilities or buy liability/property insurance. I especially did not want to pay business taxes. Because I had listened to other (well meaning) people I was walking on the wrong path. I just want to make a difference in someone’s life.

All I really needed to do was operate a business of one- by being me and following my own intuition.