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Sunday, July 30, 2017


This morning I woke up a little nervous, but ready for a once in a lifetime task. It is the day I will spit in a tube and get it ready to return to for my DNA results. Next I will have to wait 6-8 weeks to hear from them. Will the test confirm what I grew up believing or will it be something completely different? Only time will tell.

I was reminded this morning of a conversation I had years ago with my now deceased daughter-in-law. We were sitting in my kitchen when she announced out of the blue that when she was a teenager she found out the people she thought were her parents were actually her aunt and uncle. She said she had been devastated with the news at the time. I can only imagine how she felt. Wow what a blow!

The memory led me to ask myself what is a parent anyway? There is legal and there is biological. I'm not so sure that either title makes a parent.

My three adult children had two different fathers. One was a womanizing jerk and the other a workaholic/alcoholic. That didn't leave much time to be a father, except on paper. Both men are now deceased and life moves on.

What will be will be and what has been is no more, although it does leave footprints on the present.

P.S. I have to put a slightly funny spin on this post that tells me the DNA test is something I was supposed to do. I just finished reading a Kindle book titled, Spit of a Minute. Remembering that made me laugh this morning.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Reading the fine print pays

Yesterday I received my current bill from my internet/phone company, which is Century Link. I noticed that I was in the 11th  month of my current promotion plan. I have learned from experience to read the entire bill. So this morning I called my provider and asked if they had a new plan to replace the one that was about to expire.

I connected with a very nice service representative by the name of Sarah who checked things out. For the last year I hadn't used my land phone to make long distance calls because there was a charge for them. I keep a trac phone up to date, partly for that purpose. It is also nice to have for emergencies when I am away from home. There were many times I would have preferred to use my land phone for business calls because I have better reception, but I didn't.

So after Sarah did some research she came up with a new three year promotion plan with no contract which comes with free unlimited long distance. Alright I'll take that as it was only 10 cents more per month than my current plan and I didn't have to mess with it for three years. Sounds good to me.

My internet service with Century Link is just fine, except for those spam emails, which aren't their fault. I could change my email address I suppose, but that would create more problems with contacts than I am willing to deal with. So every morning I tune in to see what's what and like a wizard with a magic wand I delete all of them.

I learned some time ago to read the fine print on bills because it saves me money. I like the sound of that!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Just following my intuition

As I was finishing off the last stitches for the baby blanket I have been making, with the extra yarn, I gave some thought to what I was going to do with it. A thought popped into my mind that I hadn't thought before.Where did that come from I wondered? Was it pushed out from another realm?

The thought was: if a baby in need doesn't show up by the end of the year I am going to donate the blanket to Cibola General Hospital to be included in the gifts for the first baby born in 2018.

The thought continued to grow and put a smile on my face as I remembered all the items my grandmother made and donated to the Shrine Children's Hospital in Seattle, during her life. Even though she hasn't resided on earth since 1984 I'll bet that put a smile on her face too.

I know there are those who believe that once you leave earth that's it- you're just dead and won't be heard from again. I don't believe that. We are spirits and we do not die period! Strong relationships can and do go on forever.

So now I know where this little project is probably headed and I hope it will keep a little one extra warm this winter and a mother happy.

I recently purchased a little glass angel that can hold one flower. I searched around my house and found a small pink rose for her to hold. She sits on my desk and this morning I named her Anna. As I did that I realized she reminded me of my grandmother whom I called Nana. Roses are a meaningful flower as my grandfather brought her one from his garden, each morning that they bloomed.

Stuff happens when I follow my intuition!

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Where there is a will...

Perhaps I should have been an investigative reporter or was in a previous life.

Due to some poking around online and asking the right questions I finally discovered when and where the people listed as my parents on my birth certificate were married. That would be May 5, 1937, in Ketchikan, Alaska. That also would be 7 months before I was born, full term according to the doctor who delivered me. He/she should know- right?

Odd thing about that information is that my mother used the last name of her stepfather (who never adopted her) at both events. Oh what a tangled web we weave etc.etc.

Legally I suppose since those two people were married, no matter by what name they went by, that does make them my parents. I will still have to wait for the DNA results to see if both are my biological parents. My intuition is screaming that only applies to one of them. Of course, I could be wrong.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Family matters

Does it really make a difference who your biological family is/was. To me it does. For one thing I dislike people who lie. Honesty has always been a priority. My life began with many lies told by my mother, starting with the fact that I was premature. Not according to my birth certificate!

Since I was a young mother myself I have suspected that the man I grew up calling my father wasn't. I look nothing like his Swedish side of the family. On the other hand my younger brother looked like him. I have never had generic proof of my suspicions. Things have changed in the world and it is now possible to track one's DNA. It is something I have considered for some time, but hesitated to do.

French and Scottish ancestry has never been in question, as they are on my mother's side, but the rest? So this morning I decided to splurge on myself and order a DNA test. It could very well prove my suspicions correct- or not. I will see in a few weeks.

Some people might say "what difference does it make at my age?" I can't really explain that, but it does. I have always felt a little out of step. Perhaps being part of the wrong family could explain that. Maybe the DNA test will uncover relatives I didn't even know I had. I know my mother was married twice, but I can't find any record of her first husband. That's really odd I think.

In some ways it's funny that secrets buried for years can now be uncovered many years after people have left earth. Besides, there is that one entity who always knows the truth, so it doesn't pay to lie about family matters.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Just do it

This morning I was checking out some leftover yarn to see what's what. I noticed a large skein of white baby yarn left over from the baby blanket I made for my expected great granddaughter. I over estimated what I needed. I kept hearing my grandmother saying waste not want not.

I know I know but what am I supposed to do with this. I could make a bunch of baby beanies and give them to the hospital. No, I got worn out with those. Besides someone else could take over as I did from my friend, Marvine, when she moved to a nursing home in Texas. I miss that crazy lady a lot.

I don't know anyone expecting a baby anytime soon besides my granddaughter-in-law, but I kept being nudged to use the yarn to make another baby blanket. I long ago learned to follow my intuition because it is the voice of my soul. Soooo to make a short story even shorter that is exactly what I am doing.

Here is proof that my latest effort has begun. I think the baby it is meant for quite possibly hasn't even been conceived yet. I know it isn't mine- been there done that!!

Sunday, July 9, 2017

How hard is it to say thank you?

I don't know about you but I was raised to say thank you when someone does something nice for me. I wonder why the younger generation seems to be lacking in their ability to acknowledge an act of kindness.

A few weeks ago I sent one of my twin granddaughters a copy of an Amazon family tree that had taken me several years to complete. Even though she seems to only remember that she is Native American on her mother's side of her family there are two sides. I thought at some point she or her children might be interested in knowing who their paternal relatives were. I am really the only one still alive who could provide those names and where they were born. I had really expected some kind of acknowledgement, but I didn't get one.

Her brother, my oldest grandson, and his new wife are expecting their first child in September. After finding out that child is a girl I decided to crochet a baby blanket for her. Two weeks ago I sent it along with a couple of other gifts I thought were cute to her parents. I know it arrived because I tracked the package. Did I get a thank you note. Nope.

Several years ago I wrote a blog post as a tribute to my deceased daughter-in-law. The other twin chose not to understand the content and as a thank you her acknowledgement was a very nasty email informing me that she wanted nothing more to do with me The whole purpose of my blog post was to tell the world that her three children were the most important thing in her life. So far my granddaughter has kept her word and has not communicated since. Even though she didn't say thank you for my effort she did acknowledge it so I guess that was a step in the right direction, sort of.

Generally speaking it seems to me that today's children expect too much and believe they are entitled to whatever they desire.They don't take the time to think about the motive behind a gesture of kindness.

Oh well I guess things change and perhaps "thank you" have become outdated words. In my opinion it's part of what is wrong with the world today.  

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Writer's block

Writing about a writer's block is better than not writing at all.~Charles Bukowski

The scariest moment is always just before you start.~Stephen King

It's perfectly okay to write garbage as long as you edit brilliantly.~C.J.Cherrh

When I'm writing I write. And it's as if the muse is convinced that I'm serious and says, "Okay okay I'll come."~Maya Angelou

Those are the words of other writers. I'm not sure what my excuse is. Some days I realize I have been on a soap box and am not sure how to get off. I know I know, just step down. Easy for you to say, but I am writing about my real life in these posts and that's not as easy as you might think. I try to come up with fresh thoughts, but the old ones keep coming back. I used to have a muse that would help me out. I think he got bored and found a better job or else he decided that I didn't need him anymore. Either way I seem to have been left on my own.

I once had a friend who would write and write and never really say anything or he would promise to continue and never did. I don't make promises I have no intention of keeping. There are too many people around like that.

Perhaps my mind is just too busy worrying about things that probably will never happen. I'm really good at that!

Then there is the problem of so much negative energy around. I sometimes find it difficult to put a positive spin on things. I back off waiting for the energy to improve. Waiting never works either. What is going to happen is going to happen and I just have to learn to accept it.

Well those are my excuses and as I read over them I see they aren't very good, but they did fill up my current post, so they can't be all bad.

Have a nice day and I will catch you later- I promise!

Monday, July 3, 2017

Just let it be

We finished off replacing the floor in the last room, which is my bedroom, last night. Everything was put back where it is supposed to be with one exception. I couldn't hold the mirror for my dresser so my son could screw in the four screws. That sucker is heavy!

After several attempts I said, "Let's just leave it and I'll see if I can get someone to help in the morning." I put the drawers back in so I wouldn't trip over them in the middle of the night and let the problem be.

The rest of the room looks really good and I am very happy to get rid of 30+ year old carpet, which I am sure has been causing allergy problems.

This morning I again began thinking of who I could call to offer a pair of hands for probably five minutes. Being a holiday weekend I didn't want to bother anyone. I decided to give it one more shot and decided perhaps I was just tired last night and maybe had a little more energy this morning.

So the task began again.

After a little trial and error we realized that the bottom of the mirror would sit on the dresser and all I had to do was balance it so my son could locate the holes. Why couldn't we have noticed that last night I wonder? Perhaps my brain just needed to rest or perhaps my guardian angel popped in for a brief visit and offered a helping hand.

Not worrying so much and just letting things be is a lesson I am currently learning.