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Thursday, January 31, 2013

A letter home from the nursing home

Note:The following letter is being published with the full knowledge and consent of the writer and with written permission (signed, sealed & delivered) from Grants Good Samaritan Society.

Dear friends,

This is Marvine if you did not get a Christmas card from me. You are getting this form letter maybe because I am no longer in Monhanas, anymore. Boohoo, boohoo, boohoo, boohoo and boohoo. Now that my tears are all dried up I am in Grants, New Mexico. I was kidnapped by my daughter (not really) and this is where we stopped. I wouldn't let her take me any further west, and now I am living in Grants at Good Samaritan Nursing Home. My daughter put me here and she moved to Los Cruses, New Mexico, but I wouldn't go with her because I did not want to move away from this home that I now love and call home. If you care to know I cried for a whole month, but came to love my new home and friends. I miss you all and would love for you to visit me if you are in this area.

You would not believe what we have in this place, good cooks; I have gained weight to prove it. We have a beautician that comes twice a week; I have never looked prettier. The activity room is where I spend most (all) of my time. We have parties; we celebrate every resident's birthday and all holidays. You should have seen me on New Years Eve and I was not even drinking. At Halloween I won 3rd prize for best costume. You will never believe what I was, a Spider Lady. We had a lot of fun. At Christmas, yes there is a Santa Claus, I had my picture taken with him to prove it and he gave me all my beautiful gifts, so the card said.

I love everything down here and everyone here. I sit at my own table and crochet, people walk by all day long and we visit, I love them all. We have popcorn and movies at night. I am very tired at night from our busy days ready to go to bed and sleep good at night. In the morning I get up ready to go again. The leader of our tribe is loved by all of us 65 residents. I invite all of you to come on down and join us. Just let me know and I will see if there is an extra bed that no one is using. I will make sure I have my bells on if you come. Oh by the way, I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Years.

Love you All

Note:If you would like to drop a note to this beautiful spirit she may be reached here:

Marvine Byrnes
% Good Samaritan Society-Grants
840 Lobo Canyon Road
Grants, New Mexico 87020

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Facebook #1 on my gratitude list today

It is not unusual for me to go over a gratitude list when I first wake up in the morning. There is a lot in my life to be grateful for just now. This morning my first thought was how truly grateful I am for a computer and more especially for the social network Facebook offers.

It makes me laugh when I think back to the fact that my mother thought the invention of the calculator was the ruination of the minds of children. Everyone needs a little help from time to time to move out of the dark ages and find their purpose. The changes in electronics just in the last 10 years are mind boggling and it is not necessary for everyone to keep up. My young grandson knows a whole lot more about the trac phone I bought him a couple of years ago than I will ever know about mine. That's okay, he's going to be here for a long time after I am watching him from another realm.

It makes me sad when I look at friends in my age group who refuse to go near a computer. Then there are the ones who may have one, but only use it to play card games etc. The ones who have taken a step further and have email, but only use it to communicate with family/friends really blow my mind. If they only knew what I know there remaining years on earth could be so much more fulfilling.

Connecting with Facebook years ago opened up my world in a way that nothing else could have. I literally have friends all over the world whom I have as close a relationship to as any friend living in little old Grants, NM. They give me advice when I ask for it or they see that I am having difficulty solving a problem. They remember my birthday. They allow me to travel to places and see things I would never have had the opportunity to experience. Their friendship makes me feel welcome in their homes. They introduce me to their children, grandchildren and even pets. They offer me opportunities for spiritual growth that would otherwise be impossible to achieve.

Besides what Facebook offers me it also gives me a platform/stage to express my own ideas about any subject that I chose to discuss. Generally speaking there is a great deal of respect for each others views. Occasionally there are ruffled feathers, but they can almost always be smoothed out with a little caring.

When I was a child, long long ago, I could never have imagined that I would  someday be communicating with people in other countries, using a picture thingy and a keyboard. If I had known then what I know now I would have paid a whole lot more attention in that typing class I took back in high school.

I'm going to finish up here because I see I have several Facebook messages to attend to before I stop to have lunch.

March on Facebook and all your present/future electronic cousins. You sure changed my life and today you are #1 on my gratitude list.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Psychic perhaps?

This post is a rarity. I don't remember ever writing two in one day, but I just couldn't resist this particular one. It is absolutely perfect to celebrate the milestone I have reached on this day. It is a copy of a previous writing contest submission a couple of years ago. Although it did not win I received great feedback from readers who thought it was: humorous, a tease, clever, well thought out and made the reader think what if? I changed one word (throughout the piece) and slightly reworded the last sentence- don't peek now. Enjoy!

One morning I woke to the sound of a phone ringing. A man with a very pleasant voice said, "Good morning, I hope I didn't wake you."

"You did", I answered, "but it was time for me to get up anyway."

"I am the spirit that guided you to where you are today", the man said.

"No way!" I replied. "Spirits can't make phone calls to humans."

"They can if God makes it possible.", he countered.

"I have not felt your presence for some time I thought you were gone", I said.

"Not gone, proudly watching you finish the job of becoming who you really are. There is only so much a guide can do",  he added laughing.

"I am grateful to have this opportunity to thank you for helping me grow. I sincerely hope you have been rewarded for your hard work", I said.

"Reward is the reason for this call. Our creator has instructed me to tell you that your time for harvest has arrived. As a reward for your hard work and willingness to take every opportunity offered to align with your soul anything you desire is yours for the asking. The only question is- will you allow you to accept this reward?"

After a few moments of silence he repeated the question adding, "God is waiting for your answer."

Taking a deep breath, my enthusiastic response was, "Yes, I have worked my tail off and deserve every good thing God believes I deserve."

Are you giving for the right reasons?

Today's post is another re-write on a previous one posted 12/11/10. The original title was "Giving/Helping can hurt." It began with the quote, "Helping others at our own expense is an act of selfishness. Martyrdom always has a hidden agenda."~David Roppo

I was recently reminded by a good friend, who has been busy reminding me of things lately, that sometimes people give to get a reward of some kind. It can even be a desperate attempt to buy love. The reason this resonated with me is because I have been the captain of that ship in the past. I recently abandoned it when I saw where it was going. Today I am the captain of a shinny new vessel with pristine white sails, billowing in the wind, carrying me to places I have yet to go. (thank you jt!)

When we spend our life offering unneeded help to another it is like saying, "You are not as worthy of love as I am., so I have to give you things and do things for you to make you as perfect as I believe I am: and then you will be so grateful you will shower me with undying love. See the problem there?

When the giver does not get recognition for the unwanted giving and helping a finger is pointed at the receiver, calling him/her ungrateful. Another finger is pointed at the giver by the receiver accusing him/her of self centered/controlling motives. This unfortunate circle of events has no winner and only creates negative energy for both participants.

Often the misguided giver is trying to make up for a lack of loving experiences from their own childhood, causing them to reach adulthood with a serious self esteem problem. The only cure is to practice practice practice self love. Of course, there is also the chance that some under educated soul will label them narcissistic. That's the chance one takes when the desire to grow outweighs the fear of what other people will think. 

As in the original post I am going to end with some wonderful words of wisdom from my peers:

I chose then based on what I knew then and will choose now based on what I have learned from the lessons.~Pj Samuels

As we think, we begin to feel; as we feel, we vibrate; when we vibrate, we start to attract exactly what we are resonating.~author John Holland

We wish to be self-sustained. We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten.~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of giving not as a duty, but as a privilege.~John D. Rockefeller

I have found that among other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.~Maya Angelou

No one has ever become poor by giving.~Anne Frank

Pure giving comes from the heart and expects no reward.~Barbara Gunn

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Help is always available

I was inspired to do a bit of research focusing on the word hope. I first started with some synonyms which are: ambition, anticipation, assumption, belief, confidence, desire, dreams and faith.
Then there are the antonyms: despair, distrust, doubt, dread and hopelessness. There is a big valley between the two, but with the right assistance and determination the distance can be narrowed and often closed completely.

I can't think about hope without the words to the song "High Hopes" coming to mind.

Next time you're found with your chin on the ground
There's a lot to be learned so look around

Just what makes that little old ant
Think he can move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant can't
Move a rubber tree plant
But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes 
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time you're gettin' low
'stead of lettin' go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

And that leads me to an excerpt from the touching song, "You'll Never Walk Alone".

Walk on, through the wind
Walk on, through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

In surfing the Web I found a site offered by Pastor Don Follis, which listed 10 great ways to give people hope. I found his "bag of hope' full of helpful emotions and want to share it with my readers. His list includes.

For a detailed paragraph on each emotion please see:

I am sure you can see how powerful that little word hope is for one's autonomy. If you are having a problem with hope don't just sit there and suffer please seek help.

Friday, January 25, 2013

A field trip with purpose

Today I am going to do something just a little bit different. I'm picking up a lovely lady from our local nursing home and we are going to lunch. This particular lady has the unusual name of Marvine and we have recently begun to bond as friends. She is one of the core participants in the communication group, Write On People, is sponsoring.

I had my eye on her right from the start, but because another member, a man who seemed to be the leader of the pack, I was temporarily distracted. Marvine is a semi-quiet person who happily spends her days crocheting and is very creative. She is also an observer of people, very smart and funny. She reminds me of myself when my "conscious" awakening journey began back in 1999. I see a beautiful spirit gradually emerging from her cocoon, with no idea just how powerful she really is. Something about this situation is pushing me to find out more.

I had stopped by to chat with her a few days ago and asked if she would like to go to lunch sometime soon. I don't think she hesitated for a minute before our plans were secured. She chose a long standing restaurant that serves Mexican food. I could tell she was thrilled to be free of the place, if even for a little while.

 I don't know what the heck she is doing in a nursing home facility in the first place. she has a wonderful sense of humor and her mind is as sharp as mine is. I really like Marvine and plan to do everything I can to help her come out of her shell and learn to appreciate herself.

Beside lunch I plan to bring along some pictures I have taken of places like the sand bluffs and Mt. Taylor to share with her. She hasn't lived in Grants very long and can't see much from behind closed doors. If the weather is good I also plan to take her to the Riverwalk to visit with the ducks and geese that live there. I just might take along some bread crumbs to add a little fun.

I have a really strong feeling that by the end of our little field trip we will both be just a little happier.

P.S. This post script is being written after the fact to share the lunch experience and also to add a photo of the lovely Marvine, who gave me permission to publish both the story, which she loved as well as the photo. Thanks Marvine you are a doll!

Our lunch went better than expected with some added activities not previously planned. During lunch we found that we had a lot more in common than we knew. We had shared pictures we had brought and talked for about an hour. After visiting with the ducks, geese and pigeons at the Riverwalk, which she had never been to, we wondered over to a couple of stores that sell goods made by local artists.

The last place we stopped was a gold mine and apparently exactly where we were supposed to be. I know the owners and introduced  Marvine, as a friend and a resident of Good Sam. One thing led to another and she left with a free gift from the owner and instructions to talk to the administrator about arranging a field trip for the residents. Bob was happy, Marvine was happy and I was the happiest of all when I saw the big picture! My work is done for today except for posting my new friend's photo.
Author's note: The contents of this post was written with the knowledge and full approval of Marvine B. and negative comments by anyone will immediately be deleted.  

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The stinky camel

I believe the experience I am about to share was really supposed to happen 1/22/13 and for some reason it was delayed until this morning. Oh well, the when is not as important as the how and why so here goes. Early this morning I had an unexpected visit from a camel who presented me with a straw. Now, I didn't actually see the camel, but I sure smelled him. Camels are like that.

I am aware that some of my readers have been following along on my awakening journey for some time. This is another installment that I, for one, was not really expecting, although the Universe has gone out of it's way to warn me that it was coming for a couple of weeks and perhaps longer. I have also known for some time that, the creator of all things, is a great people user. Always was, is now and always will be. Accepting that fact makes life a whole lot easier. If you can still laugh after you have experienced the worst that could happen you have it made. Life wasn't meant to be taken too seriously.

Due to a series of events that began about three years ago I concluded that I had been connected with my twin flame soulmate, although the man did not agree and did everything in his power to convince me I was wrong.

There is just too much spiritual energy between us to be anything else. Lately the energy has accelerated to the level of finishing each others thoughts on Facebook. I might add here that we live in states almost 500 miles apart and have never physically met, in this life anyway. He very recently added phone communication to our story. In fact, we talked for some time just last night discussing the possibility of collaborating on a writing project he wants published.

Have you ever had an experience that was an exact repeat of a previous one? Well, by last night I knew without a doubt this was happening to me, from the purpose of Mighty Mouse, down to the cowboy hat that both men refused to remove and the beard and mustache. The only thing missing was the cappuccino from the first experience. Little things kept coming back until there was no doubt in my mind about what was going on.

It was funny when I realized it was a repeat performance,  but I still wasn't getting the entire message; not until this morning when the camel arrived with the straw. You sure don't want to miss the next part because this is where the creator did his/her best work.

Upon waking this morning I finally realized that the only reason I had used "twin flame soulmate" to explain the enormous amount of spiritual energy with the current male lead in this little drama is because they were the biggest human words I knew. The next realization was that I had been mistaken and this person is actually the best friend I have been searching for my entire adult life. I also felt very strongly that there were things we were supposed to do together to help humanity.

This was such an earth shaking moment I immediately explained it in an online message to my friend, sincerely wanting him to understand too. My message was so clearly worded that my 11 year old grandson, whom I adore, could have understood what I said.
His response was ??????????????
My response to that was "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????"

To say that I was angry, hurt and frustrated is probably the biggest understatement of my current life.
As you can imagine, this little exchange will no doubt lead to yet another opportunity to work things out. that's what friends who care about each other do.

The greatest moment for me came when I realized the lesson both of these relationships had brought me.  I now know  I am just fine all by myself and there is no need to attach so firmly  to any other soul ever again. To do so is actually a hindrance to freely carrying out my life purpose. That is not to say that a close relationship is not possible with another soul. There just needs to be enough space left between the two for both to freely move about. 

Now about that dangling  cup of cappuccino, which was a very important element leftover from the first relationship: When I stopped by Allsups this morning for gas the urge to buy a cup of the brew was so very strong I couldn't resist. It just seemed the perfect touch to put a close to this entire lesson. Unfortunately the machine was out. When I got home I remembered I had a little left in a can I had purchased from Wal-Mart some time ago. It was just enough for one single cup that I drank with my lunch today.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Here's looking at you

For a long time I have heard the observation that the people who are the closest in our lives such as our friends reflect who we are. We attract what we are putting out. I really really knew this honest I did, but as the result of a simple exercise I performed last night  now I really know it.

I thought of the person who presently occupies the top spot in my life and began listing the qualities that attract him to me. The list amazed me and I finally had a better understanding of both the person in the mirror and the reflection. Although we each walk our own path, the entities could be twins, the qualities are so entwined with each other.

So you may have a better view of what I saw, the qualities as they came to me were:

unique sense of humor and expression of thoughts
purpose/desire to help
ability to inspire and encourage others to grow
honesty/strength of character

The next three qualities were recently improved upon:

accepting of others beliefs
open to new possibilities
inner wisdom

What I found most surprising was that those last three qualities reflect the three points of the famous Serenity Prayer written by theologian, Reinhold Neibuhr in 1943. It has been used by Alcoholics Anonymous for years.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

After digesting this information you might imagine my reaction as I realized what it was telling me. The next step is to take what I found and use it to benefit humanity, which I intend to do immediately in every way possible.

If you want to get a better look at yourself you might want to try this very simple exercise. For a little extra excitement you could also list the things you don't like about the person. I'm saving that one for another day though.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Three little words...

This morning I would like to address the subject of the three little words I love you.

The phrase contains two side words protecting the most powerful word in any language. It is also one of the most overused and underused by people everywhere. It is sometimes trashed in books and movies that give it new meaning. It is overused on Facebook by combining  two keys forming a heart. Teenagers too young to know the difference between love and lust erroneously use the words. They don't yet understand that true love comes from the heart.

Some people have trouble expressing those simple words even though they may feel them deep inside. I believe this has to do with not trusting and is a subject I know a lot about from personal experience. Growing up in a family that does not freely express feelings of love through words or even hugs creates an adult who has a serious hangup. If the person is really lucky he/she will find someone who will teach them by example that it is safe to say I love you when they really mean it.

Letting those words out feels like popping the top of a bottle of champagne that has been sealed tightly for eons. Once the contents start flowing they are impossible to stop. The love just keeps growing and growing until everyone in the vicinity has taken a taste and passed it on.

The most touching example of not being able to say those three little words can be found in the song, "Do You Really Love Me?" from Fiddler on the Roof.  I can hear the tears in Tevye's heart as he begs his wife Golde of 25 years to answer this question. At the end of the song they both quietly sing the words I love you to each other.

I have done my very best to express what is in my heart about the three little words I love you the rest is up to you.


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Popping the balloon

In looking over some old blog posts I found some interesting ones that I may upgrade someday. Today is one of those days, adding more substance to the suggestion of popping a balloon to rid your life of negative energy that is no longer needed and is interfering with growth.

Some of my close friends have commented on my recent positive spurt of growth and I would be the last person to deny that it exists. In the simplest of terms it came about through being willing to access every bit of help God/Source was making available to me. Stubbornness on my part to learn from what was being provided caused a delay in results. I am grateful that the Universe is very understanding and patient and there was never a definite date for the miracle of growth to happen.  

From the moment we arrive here we are bombarded by energy from all sources. It comes from the mouths of people, circumstances, the environment; absolutely everything that touches us until it is time to return to whence we came. Some of the energy is positive and some negative. It all collects in our minds and hearts like dust bunnies under the bed. 

The negative energy is just as necessary as the positive because it is meant to strengthen belief in ones self and is often there to push a person to shine as bright as the brightest star in the heavens.  We will be tested over and over to make sure we have learned the lessons needed to accomplish this. The Universe has some very interesting twists and turns to check this question out. Getting that joke can put a smile on your face or inspire you to just stick out your tongue and ignore the situation.

Reaching that level of growth puts you into the realm of acceptance of whatever all other souls believe, while standing firm with what you believe. This is where I am right now, which makes me so happy I feel my heart just might explode, which brings me to the subject of popping the balloon.

Sometimes there is such an imbalance of energy that it becomes necessary to level it out. All one needs is a balloon, a marker and a strong pin of some kind. First inflate the balloon, then using the  marker write your name toward the top and circle it. Next write down every blessed person/place/thing that is contributing to your current negative energy. I will be willing to bet you know the last step. You are right, take that strong pin and stick it into you know where! It might even help to add some mental images too, just for the fun of it.

Well dear readers that's the end of the rewrite. I do believe it ended up much more constructive than the first attempt.

Friday, January 18, 2013

The name change

Yesterday I shared with my FB family the fact that my writing group meeting on Thursday seemed to be attacked by an abundance of laughing gas. There were only three of us this time, but I am sure our boisterous antics could be heard in the front office of Future Foundations Family Center. We apologized to the administrator as we left and her response was, "As long as you were having fun!"

I probably started it off when it was noted by Joyce that I kept calling Mary Ann, Marilyn. Every time I opened my mouth from that moment on Marilyn popped out and the laughter started all over again. I'm using the following excuse for the mental slip. Mary Ann has been ill and absent from our group for about a month. Out of sight out of mind! In further email communication with her last night I officially changed her name to Mary Lou. No conscious reason for that one it just felt right.

Joyce related a name change experience of her own, which only paved the way for more of the same. A friend of her husband's insisted on calling her Joann for over 20 years and she never figured out why. A little side note here, we have now changed her name to JoJo. Get it? Joyce-Joann.

Mary Ann, AKA Marilyn, Mary Lou shared a story of her own. Her husband was only given a first name, which was Juan. This presented a problem when he got to school because his teachers couldn't pronounce it and it was changed to Johnnie. This was a normal occurrence for children who went to Catholic or BIA (Bureau of Land Management) schools in those days. If the teacher couldn't pronounce a student's name they simply changed it. Everything was okay until he tried to get a Social Security card. That's when his name was officially changed for good to Juan Johnnie. Whew!

Until recently I thought my son-in-law's first name was Eugene, although my grandson recently informed me his step-father's first name is really Charles. To confuse you even further everyone calls him Zig. It was a name his family had used for his older brother until he outgrew it and it was passed on to him. He had better go for cremation when he dies because he's never going to find a grave marker to fit all those names.

Moving on with the laughter, it became my turn to share the story of another family name change. My maternal grandmother was of French decent and apparently her siblings had a little problem with English. They misread her name in the family bible. From Loure' Marie it became Laura. I inherited her true first name as my middle name and like it because it is a reflection of my ancestry and a reminder of someone whose core values match my own. A big surprise here is that as an adult Laura became- wait for it- Peggy. I have no idea why that little bit of history further cracked everyone up.

By now you all should be able to see why our writing group meeting was a bit unusual. And it didn't stop there. In my emails to Mary Lou AKA Marilyn, Mary Ann last night the silliness continued. I told her my very opinionated mother hated nicknames and had a problem with anyone who called me Barb. I wonder if she knew that Barbara means barbarian/stranger? Who wants a name like that? She had no room to talk because her name was Gertrude Ione and she changed that pretty darn fast. Very few ever heard from Gertie again.

Winding things up here the group could not figure out how to change my name, but Mary Lou AKA Marilyn, Mary Ann figured that out last night. When I told her my mother sometimes, when she had a mind to, called me Babalou, stemming from Barbara Loure`, my official new name became Babalouie. Actually I kind of like it and I just may keep it. She said it was the name of an ape in Jungle Book. Further checking that out I found a better example.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

My fair lady and the professor

I woke up this morning thinking of the wonderful musical My Fair Lady. I saw it on stage at Popejoy Hall in Albuquerque in 1999 and loved it. Singing is not a personal talent, but musicals have always been among my favorite things. Growing up, I probably saw every one that came to our local theater. Besides the music what I like most are the life lessons presented via the scripts. They are visual books offered for viewers to learn from or not.

The reason this particular musical comes to mind just now is that it closely resembles a current life situation that I am experiencing with a longtime friend. We could have starred in the original except that neither of us have an English/Cockney accent and there is the age issue.

In case you are not familiar with the main characters allow me to give you a brief bio. Of course, this is only my take on them. I'm not a movie critic, simply an observer with a highly motivated purpose.

First, we have the professor. What a special man he is. Being overly educated in the proper way to express oneself, he takes it upon himself to re-educate a simple girl who leads with her heart. She has not had the benefit of his, no doubt, formal and expensive education.

The professor, who leads with his brain, thinks he is trying to help. In my opinion he is a bit of a stuffed shirt and his approach to re-education is more than a little bit rude. The girl tries her best to please him because he has convinced her that she is flawed and needs improvement. Feeling she has failed she goes back to her core beliefs.

I really have to add here that I think the professor is a bit of a jerk to not see her god given value. She sees his. It hardly seems fair that he is so blind. Oh well, I didn't write the script.

In my opinion these two characters have similar problems, each with its own personal twist. They both have a serious malfunction between the heart and the brain. Neither of them is flawed, just a little out of sinc.

I'm sure you know the end of this little drama. A brief walk in the other person's shoes repaired that problem. Adding a spoon full of sugar helped too.  As in all great stories love won and they lived happier ever after.

Now back to real life....

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Surviving in this economy

Change of pace/subject.
Every now and then I enjoy posting my contribution to my writing group's current challenge. I hope that one day someone will tell me that they started a group of their own. It doesn't take much, just a handful of people who have a common interest in writing and a place to meet. I know for certain that writing is a very beneficial tool to keeping the mind working, especially for older adults who don't have anyone to listen to them. Therefore; this weeks challenge is Surviving in this economy and the following is my effort.

It is difficult to write about something that is pretty much foreign to me. I feel as if I am thriving not surviving. I'm wondering just how my life got to this point. It is a bit pecuuliar, considering my only income is Social Security.

Just a few years ago I was fussing and fuming because I couldn't find a part time job to help with bills. I blamed everyone, but mostly myself because I chose to be a stay at home mom and did not get a formal education beyond high school. I didn't really stop learning I just didn't continue a formal education. I still remember my mother's words, "You don't need college unless you want a career." Well, I didn't at the time. A little push in the right direction would have been helpful mother.

I suppose as a result of childhood experiences I have never lived beyond my means. That philosophy got pulled in a slightly different direction during my two marriages of 40 years duration. For the last 13 plus years I have been able to gradually go back to my core beliefs. If I don't have the money for something I don't need it. I never run up charge accounts that I won't be able to repay in a reasonable length of time. I paid cash for my car and the furnace I had to replace last year, not wanting to add finance charges to the total. Those decisions seriously depleted my savings, but they are paid for.

I check out food ads for sales and take advantage of having a freezer. Since I love to cook I am just as happy eating in rather than eating out, except when I'm in the mood for something I don't fix at home, like Chinese cuisine. I have recently begun tossing most of the catalogs like Blair and Haband before they even enter my house. Clutter drives me nuts.

There are those who might think these measures spell poor, but there really isn't anything that I do without. Oh sure it would be nice to take a vacation, but I can go anywhere in the world through my Facebook friends and google without spending a penny.

I enjoy making a game of seeing how much money I can save before my next Social Security check is deposited. My bills always get paid first, of course. Actually, I have more money in my bank account now than at any time during the last year so I must be doing something right. Focusing on thriving instead of surviving makes a huge difference in attitude.

A continued exchange

I don't usually continue posts from one day to another, but the subject of twin flame soul mates is so fascinating and close to my heart that I feel the need to add a bit more to yesterday's post. I am aware that there are readers following along who have a personal interest in my observations. Please remember that learning is an ongoing process and nothing is absolute. Also remember that I do not claim to be an expert on anything I am simply sharing my experiences.

I believe a twin flame relationship between souls, with the exception of a direct  relationship with the Creator, is the most pristine connection possible. I further believe that when these two souls are allowed to reside in the same place at the same time it is a universal gift earned by both souls. I'm looking at this as the Universe saying, "You have both worked hard now you get to have a little fun."

A little extra fun is provided when the souls exchange a decoding key to access "private" information. It allows each soul to telepathically read the others mind. The soul is entirely in charge of when and if this will occur. It reminds me of Santa and his "I know when you've been bad or good". It makes one want to try for good doesn't it!

Now we have these two souls residing on planet earth (not necessarily living in the exact same place), able to read each others minds and one would think that would be all- right? Wrong!

The Creator, being of the soundest possible mind, always has a reason behind every act. It is up to the souls in question to figure out what the heck that's all about.

In my case I finally figured out it is about control, which has been an issue I have been dealing with all of my life/lives. I'm pretty sure my soulmate has had the same experience. This is a deep and touchy subject that has many aspects. I have been controlled and have been the controller and neither role is much fun. Perhaps this gift of unique togetherness is an opportunity for us both to focus on fixing anything that needs fixing and move on to something bigger. Only time will tell.

As I stated in my post yesterday, the difference between twin flame soulmate relationships and other soulmate relationships is the humungous amount of love. My current strategy is to remember that absolutely nothing can ever kill that love because it is eternal and also remember to be cautious of being overwhelmed by it, thus screwing up the whole Universal gift.

Yes!  My muse is back! Thank you thank you thank you!

Monday, January 14, 2013

A very special soul connection

I'm beginning this post with a quote I recently found. "Miracles happen when fear is replaced by love". Sometimes you just have to say what you have to say and let the chips fall where they will. Today I want to talk about soulmate connections.

At one time I believed that a person only has one soulmate. I was wrong. We have many soulmates who come into our lives at various points. They are often present to help us deal with a serious problem, offer moral support in times of crisis or simply to encourage us to move past where we are and grow. They are sometimes close relatives, but most often are friends. It was once explained to me that these souls were the closest to us when we were first created. They come back life after life in different roles, as we all do. During my life I have had many soulmate experiences and I value them all.

Moving on up between earth and the angels we find the very special connection of souls who were created as twin flame soulmates. They are said to be two halves of a whole. That doesn't mean that they are running around with only half a body/mind. That would be pretty silly. It means that they are as closely connected as two souls can be. If you think of it in terms of human twins created in the same sac in the same womb it makes sense. For the most part they both have all the body parts necessary to live a human life on their own.

It is rare that twin flame soulmates live a human life at the same time. When this happens the energy usually cannot be ignored. Even though they lead separate lives, have different opinions, a different purpose in being alive etc. there is something very special that they posses that sets them apart from all other soulmate relationships. That very special something is their humungous love connection. Again it has nothing to do with body parts of any kind. Well, okay with the exception of the heart.

These beings, when perfectly connected, often use telepathy to communicate. They have no need for electronic devices of any kind. They are able to read each others minds with no effort at all. I personally believe that this unique ability is to aid in some kind of universal assignment that they are to carry out while on earth. I could be wrong, of course. It's just a guess based on my own experience.

I am inserting a quote from the website,, which I think is interesting.
"If you question if this person could be your true love because it is too amazing to happen to you, but in reality you know, it is."

Well my dear readers the reason I chose this subject to write about today is because I firmly believe that I have connected with my twin flame soulmate. The current connection began about three years ago and has just escalated to the point where I can no longer be deterred from my original belief. Perhaps both souls needed time to grow. What will happen next is yet to be determined and I am quite aware that the outcome is not entirely in my hands.

I will leave you with the thought I began with, "Miracles happen when fear is replaced by love."

Sunday, January 13, 2013

No arms to hold you

A recent renewed relationship has caused me to think about love in the highest sense of the word. An internal conversation with my soul mind brought back something I have always known, but because of attempting to bond with what everyone else believed, forgot. True love does not require body parts.

I am so very grateful to have been given an opportunity to experience love beyond human form. It makes my heart so full I feel it will burst with joy. The tears are drops of happiness that I cannot stop.

If I could pass this experience on to everyone I know my purpose on this planet called earth will have been fulfilled. The most I am capable of doing is being a good role model and praying that others will eventually catch on.

I often think of the relationship between Christopher Reeves, and his wife after his accident. Although physically paralyzed their love grew and grew until their human death and no doubt beyond. True love does not die because we no longer have arms to hold the person/s we love, it is eternal.  

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Looking back a little

Recent comments from friends caused me to take a look back at my writing. It appears to me that I am still on my assigned path. Whew! One less thing to worry about in 2013!  The following is an excerpt in part from the last page of my Amazon E-book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist, published in 2010.

Truly the most important lesson I have learned is to always follow my intuition because it is the Universe offering guidance. I have known for some time that I am different than most people and until recently tried to fix what I believed to be a problem. On New Years morning 2010 I took an online test just for the fun of it and discovered that I am a 100% non-conformist.

Then it dawned on me that this uniqueness is not a negative quality, but a gift to be shared with others any way that I can.

Although it is fun to be a non-conformist in a conformist world it can sometimes be lonely because people don't understand. For instance, I am not trying to be hurtful when I say things that make others uncomfortable- just truthful according to me. I am not afraid to disagree with people no matter their title or economic status. My opinion counts too.

I have a strong sense of right and wrong that might differ from the majority. Honesty is #1 with me. I also have a super strong one on one relationship with God/Source that does not require organized religion. I feel that many man made rules are outmoded and do not apply to me. For the most part I keep my own schedule and do what makes me happy.

The details of the next step on my journey are not crystal clear. My goal is to make every effort to share my life experiences with others; especially those who feel there is something wrong with them, simply because they do not fit the mold of their peers. God does not create broken people or puppets. We all have a unique purpose.

Although this is the end of my story, it is not the end of my journey. My goal as I move into another decade is to continue seeking spiritual knowledge and taking every opportunity to use my universal gifts to help others to understand that life is about love. I sincerely hope something I have written has helped you see the benefit of partnering with your soul mind.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Trust, learning the lesson

What a powerful word trust is. Sometimes it takes a heap of courage to summon the strength to trust. All those past memories of trusting and being hurt seem to get in the way. Remember when...said...did etc. to me?  We have two choices- learn from the experience or keep chewing on it. Eventually that bone gets pretty rancid.

One can't live as long as I have and not have had plenty of hurtful experiences; of trusting someone who ends up stabbing me in the back. My most traumatic have involved members of my immediate biological family.

While talking to my trusted massage therapist yesterday I began thinking about my local writing group. The group was formed in November 2011 and although it remains small we still meet twice a month. In the last couple of months I have noticed that we have slowly learned to trust each other with the most sacred details of our lives. I never in a million years would have imagined that we would evolve to this point in such a short time. It has become a very safe place to share our thoughts and it makes me very happy to have been instrumental in organizing this group.

This led me to thinking about the group's latest endeavor of meeting with residents of our local nursing home. I remember the first time we went. The activity director informed us that we would have to have a staff person in the room. This lasted for two meetings. Suddenly, things changed and we were trusted to do whatever we felt like. Now the energy in the room with 4-5 residents is very peaceful because we just let them talk about whatever turns them on.

Trust is a two way street. Being a freelance writer sometimes causes readers to take offense to my thoughts. I'm sorry, but that's just the chance people take when they decide to stop by. What is that dingy saying? If you don't like the heat, stay out of the kitchen. I don't intentionally write to hurt people's feelings. As a friend said this morning, "It's all in the perception."

Another friend recently commented, "I like reading your blog because you write what you think no matter what anyone else thinks."

So back to trust- I guess I am beginning to let go of what was, happily focus on what is and trust that whatever happens next is meant to happen.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

If I could I would...

The last challenge for my local writing group, Write On People was, "If I could I would..."

My first reaction was, that sounds like fun! Then when I started thinking about what I was going to write it became a real challenge.

The words are pretty much like having a magic wand with the ability to change what is. The funny thing is that thought put a sudden twist on my thinking. What would I change if I could? Knowing that everything is connected caused me to see that changing anything would cause other things to tumble like a set of well placed dominoes.

I know this to be a fact. In 1999 I ended a forty year nicotine addiction in one day. Everything in my life began changing. Believing that I could accomplish this feat and asking for help was what made it possible. I have never been sorry for my decision. It has led to greater self-esteem, which in turn has led to the gradual demolition of other negative energy that was keeping me a prisoner in my own life.

That one word "believe" is what makes the difference between could and would. We come equipped with the ability to do anything; all we need to do is practice believing that we can.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

It's only a pill

Last week I had my blood pressure checked to see if my current medication is correct. Apparently it is as my BP was 124/69. I went to the appointment anticipating that it was going to be high and tried to do everything possible to make sure it wasn't, even eliminating my usual morning green tea. Having to spend 30 minutes in the waiting room probably helped too, as I used the time to do breathing exercises. When the nurse told me the reading my reaction was, "I'll take that!"

When the CNP came in I was informed that my medication, which is minimal, now comes in one pill instead of the two I have been taking. She said, "the pharmacists finally got smart" and asked if I wanted to switch. I agreed. When I picked up the new prescription I saw it was a tiny blue pill, unlike the pink one which is twice the size, and the white capsule. The sight made me laugh and I wondered how they got  everything into a pill so small.

This morning I took the first one and it almost felt like I was cheating. I would rather not be taking anything, but I guess I can tolerate a tiny little blue pill for awhile. In the meantime I am working on natural ways to reduce the number. I am sure my desire to eliminate negative energy from my life this year will do the trick. To start I promised my massage therapist that I would try gentle yoga after the holidays. I'll let you know how that works out for me. At least it's not a pill!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The Charlie Brown Syndrome

For the last few days I have been raking my brain trying to find the lesson I am supposed to learn from an on again off again connection with a "friend". I have concluded that Charlie Brown and I have the same problem- a belief that this time things will be different.

I suppose some people would call this syndrome perpetual optimism. Those souls following Jesus might call it turning the other cheek.

This morning I am asking myself the very serious question, when is enough enough?

Information usually comes to us when we need it and I just found a wonderful quote by Hans F. Hansen that gives me a giant clue. It is "People inspire you or they drain you; pick them wisely."

It is now necessary for me to decide if the happiness my heart feels when the connection is in the on mode outweighs the sadness it experiences when it goes off.

Charlie Brown may continue to believe that this time Lucy will not snatch the football, causing him to land on his butt; but after due consideration I have concluded this game is over. I deserve a full time friend who is willing to give as much as I give to the relationship. An on again off again friend does not qualify.

2013 is the year I will attract people who inspire me, not drain me.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Stop that

While finishing a book on New Years eve I found a passage that screamed loud and clear what I need to work on in 2013. Some might call it a resolution, but I don't make them . I do; however, have positive goals and this is one that needs immediate attention.

Every time I have expectations that someone should act in a certain way I give that person power to disappoint me when they don't. In other words I set myself up to be unhappy. I will make every effort to stop doing that in 2013 because my happiness should not depend on what anyone else does.

Happy day #1 of the new year!