Thursday, February 20, 2020

What was I thinking?

Someone's Facebook post really got my attention today. It was, "Happiness is having a husband who is also your best friend". What a concept that would have been! I was married for a total of forty years to two different men who never fit that definition. Do you suppose that might have been the reason for two very unhappy relationships?

Looking back on those forty years It makes me ask myself, "What was I thinking?'

Neither relationship came anywhere near being a friendship. I had so little in common with those two partners it would have been laughable if it were not so sad. Basically, I was simply a maid, cook and babysitter. Neither husband ever saw who I really am. It reminds me of that ad that goes, "Do you see me?"

My last encounter ended in 1999. Since then I have only been responsible for myself and the choices I make. It has resulted in being ignored by most of my biological family, but so what? They are also free to live their lives however they wish.

I wonder, was the purpose of those forty years simply to produce three children who are all now adults? I'm not sure of the answer to that, but I know I am happier since I chose myself as my best friend. It didn't take a priest, a pastor, a church or anyone else to make that happen. I just had to learn to believe in myself.  

A universal lesson

Mercury is doing its thing once again. I usually don't pay much attention to its coming and going and just use it as a time to pay attention to communication. This time around it seems to be testing me and instead of making me angry it is making me laugh, just a little.

Mercury began the current journey on 2/16/20 and it is now 2/20/20. I have had some interesting things happen in the last few days. First I heard three loud beeps in my house and I couldn't figure out what it was. I checked my computer and my phone and nothing. The beeps sounded a second time. I mentioned it to a friend who suggested it might be a smoke detector warning that the battery was low. That sounded reasonable so I watched for the flashing light on one and saw none. I changed the battery and the light again began to flash, Done- thanks!

Next, as I sat down at my computer I saw that the desk lamp was burnt out. Easily fixed, I changed the light bulb. And then I had light!

Next my Kindle, which I had just charged refused to work. I mentioned it to my son who said he would check it out when he came home after work. In the meantime I charged my original Kindle and  it worked fine. Nice to know I had a backup. The new Kindle just needed to be programmed and is now working fine. Thank you Jeff!

Noticing what I thought was the sound of water under a floor vent, we turned off the water and the noise stopped. As soon as possible I left a message with my trusted plumber. I was right. He installed a new pipe to the bathtub in the guest bathroom. I got it fixed right away because I made the call right away!

This morning I noticed a large increase in a utility bill and wasn't sure why. Wanting an answer I called the company right away to ask. The explanation made sense and the charge will decrease next month.

All the things that have happened seem to me to be a test to see if I am paying attention. I get it and I am, so knock it off already! You do your thing and I will do mine. 

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Not a good fit

I went to lunch with a group of ladies yesterday, but I left feeling it was not a good fit, even though I knew a handful of those present. I had very little in common with them. One good thing is that I had rejected this particular restaurant soon after it opened and I found the food had improved. It is still like a ghost town though, which is what I didn't like when I first tried it out.

I did leave feeling that I needed to find or start a group more fitting to where I am now. I am a published writer and I need a group that matches my current interests. My writing has greatly improved since I last created a local writing group. Perhaps it is time to try again.

Living on a limited income I need a place that will offer free space. I don't want it to be a restaurant because the participants will feel obligated to order something. If the space is free then I don't have to charge anything. The two places I am thinking of are the family center and the senior citizen center. I need to check them both out.

It would be good to find a partner to help me. Perhaps a retired teacher who could help me convince the participants how important writing thoughts down is. It is kind of like a weight loss program for the mind.

I'm still thinking about my options, but I am probably on the right track. I think I need to move from children back to adults and give it another try. It is important to find the right fit!  

Friday, February 14, 2020

Be prepared

Don't know what I m having o dinner, but I am having lunch with a group of local women at an Asian restaurant. I had been asked to join them on several occasions but so far I have delayed. I thought I would be prepared if anyone asks me what I do. I wrote on the back of my business cards, listing my three Amazon kindle books and my online writing group. It goes like this:

Amazon Kindle:
Journey of an Enlightened Egotist, Spirits of Cibola County, What Now My Love? A Writer's Journey

Online writing group: "Let's Chat"

As any Boy Scout would tell you- BE PREPARED

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Be that

I saw a Facebook post this morning that really got my attention. It was: "Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone." I realized that it is so easy to dwell on the things we didn't like about those people and I started thinking about the positives.

My mother for instance was a very negative person, but she was hard working and very creative.
My father was what I have referred to as a milk toast person, but he was a very good cook.
My maternal grandmother was a very generous soul and loved to help others.
My maternal grandfather was non-judgemental and looked for the good in others.
My paternal grandmother was also creative and seemed to care about her family.
An older woman, who some people called noisy because of her humor and ability to laugh, became a really good friend. 
I also have had a couple of male friends who may not be deceased, but are no longer in my life. I could clearly see the souls of both and although I knew they wanted to help others grow, they both had unusual ways of doing so.

As I remember the positive energy that I have been offered by others I can see that it has had an influence on my life. I probably have, over the years, adopted the good things without even realizing it. Perhaps we should all look for the positives instead of the negatives.

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Granted wishes

Sometimes you just have to laugh at the way the universe grants wishes. Yesterday morning, coming out of the fitness room with a friend, we noticed how cloudy the sky looked. I said, "I hope it means rain and not snow". My friend said, "We need rain." Two seconds later drops of water began to fall, I said, "You are really good!"

From the news last night I knew there was a snow storm coming today.When I went to bed I kept asking that it held off a few hours as I had a chiropractic appointment this morning.The first thing I did when I got up was look out the window- NO! Everything was white. While I was debating whether or not to call and cancel my appointment the office called me. They had decided to close today. That has never happened before.

The how and when things happen is apparently not entirely up to us.

What a difference a couple of hours and a little patience makes.

Sunday, February 9, 2020

A fitting expresion

I love the expression, "There is more than one way to skin a cat" I know it came from somewhere, but I don't remember where.

For some time I have been frustrated with trying to encourage members of my online writing group, "Let's Chat" to participate in sharing their thoughts. If you are going to belong to a writing group- write. As my mother would have said, "Do it or get off the pot!"

So today I decided to check around on Facebook and see if there are any other writing groups that I could join. I found one that invited writers to join. It is simply called, "Creative Writing". It is very fast paced and I decided to check it out. It seems to include writers of all ages and opinions. I am not leaving my group behind, but I am getting tired of trying to inspire them. I needed something to inspire me to move on!

This morning I posted a quote from the author, Jodi Picoult in my group. It was: "You can always edit a bad page. You can't edit a blank page". Will they get the message? I doubt it, but at least I tried.