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Sunday, February 19, 2017

Message from another place

Today I was leafing through some old posts I had written. I often have the reaction, "wow that's really good, did I write that?" Yup it looks as if I did. Sometimes I decide to re-post it because it has a message that seems to be coming from another place. So here goes- enjoy and thank you Shaunualee.

Sitting on a park bench at the Riverwalk my eyes settled on a young woman walking barefoot along the edge of the pond, periodically looking into the water. Her hair got my attention because it was a rich reddish blonde. When lit by the sun it almost glowed. I followed her path until she was in front of the bench I was sitting on.

Roxanne and I exchanged greetings and she asked if she knew me, thinking I looked familiar. I told her no, but she might have seen my photo in the newspaper because I was a columnist. She sat down and we began a conversation that lasted over an hour.

She said she had dropped out of school and had her first child at a very early age. She admitted that drugs and poor choices in male companions had influenced her life until recently when she dumped the negativity. She said her immediate plans were to move to another town and get an education in cosmetology.

Having investigated several different paths to achieve oneness with her Creator, she felt she was now spiritually enlightened. I hoped her personal growth was "real" and not induced by drugs.

During the course of our talk her two boys, 11 and 5, were amusing themselves without much supervision from their mother. She would occasionally ask the older boy where his brother was. This bothered me because her body was there, but her mind was somewhere else. I strongly suspected this was normal mothering procedure for her. I wondered if she knew how much her negative experiences had probably affected her children. Did she truly understand that she is a role model for them?

This young woman reminded me of another whose spirit had once crossed my path. She was about the same age and coloring as Roxanne and also dreamed of a career in cosmetology. Her education was interrupted when she discovered at about age 19 that she was expecting a child.

Soon after the birth of her daughter she was diagnosed with bone cancer. She lost her courageous battle for life two years later. She never had a chance to raise her precious child. I believe if her spirit could speak to Roxanne she would say; "quit screwing around, take charge of your life and live every day as if it were your last because it very well could be". 

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Up or down makes a difference

Sometimes things happen in my daily life that are just plain funny when I have had a chance to digest them. Yesterday was one of those days. When we don't have all the facts our conclusions can be off just a bit.

For the last few weeks I have been going to a chiropractor to try to get my neck to stay aligned. Granted part of the problem is that it has been way too long since I visited her office and therefore It is going to take awhile for the vertebrae to settle down. It is slowly getting better but patience has never been one of my positive traits.

Yesterday she asked me if I spent a lot of time on the computer and I said yes. She replied that looking down for long periods of time was probably contributing to the problem. I agreed and said I had recently been forcing myself to get up and move around. I am also aware that sitting for long periods is not good for my back, or anyone's for that matter. Long formed habits are hard to break.

When I got home and sat down at my computer I realized my chiropractor must think I have a laptop. I have a PC and don't look down to see the screen, I look up or out. I began to think about what I do or have done that would cause me to look down for long periods. I believe I have it figured out! It's all that crocheting I did in the weeks before the holidays. It caused my neck to be pretty much rooted in one spot for hours at a time. Although it's nice to make things to give to others it is not very smart to intentionally do something that I  now know is contributing to a serious physical problem.

It looks as if I am going to have to find a new way of looking at things because up or down does make a big difference.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy birthday Ejay

In early December 2012 I saw a picture of a cute little white poodle in the local paper. He was featured in the ad for the animal shelter. I had been thinking about getting a dog and decided to stop by and check this one out.

Dogs of all sizes had been part of my history. I knew I didn't want a big dog or a tiny version that yaps a lot. This dog was a perfect size and very friendly as he struggled to get my attention. My very first dog as a child was a peanut butter colored cocker spaniel.

The gate keeper let the dog out so I could have a better view. I was told I could take him home for a couple of days to see if he would be a good fit. If it didn't work out I could bring him back. I decided to take a chance and see what would happen. I was told his name was E.J.and the lady who had him couldn't pay the fee to get him back after he had run away. I felt bad about that, but there was nothing I could do about it. He had been in the shelter for three weeks waiting for someone to rescue him.

As I put him in my car I noticed a piece of coat hanger wire attached to his fur. The first thing I did when we arrived at my house was to remove it. The following picture was taken on his first day in his new surroundings.


After deciding to keep him we went to the vets to check him out. He was healthy and I was told he was a Poodle Maltese mix and about 10 months old. After getting his shots our next stop was the groomer. His fur was very matted and needed serious attention. He looked like a different dog when I picked him up and the groomer had given him a treat to chew on and added a scarf around his neck.

To make a long story short Ejay had found a new home. I wasn't exactly sure when he was born but knew it was sometime in February so I gave him Valentines Day as his birthday and he is now five years old.  His favorite things to do are chasing rabbits and birds in the yard, harassing his feline older brother and sister and being anywhere that I am. Oh and begging for food that anyone is eating.

Happy birthday Ejay!
 



Saturday, February 11, 2017

A grape, an orange and a life

Everyone at some point compares who they are with someone else. I think age and possibly gender determines who that will be. It could be a parent, grandparent, sibling, child, friend, teacher and the list goes on and on. It is like comparing a grape and an orange. They are both edible fruit but that's about it.

We get ourselves into so much trouble comparing our life to other lives. No two people ever have the same experiences or even see things the same way. It just is not possible.

I often think of my oldest grandchildren who were born identical twins. Their birth was by C-section so obviously one was removed from the womb before the other. One went home with parents while the other remained in a hospital incubator, waiting to gain weight. From the very first day of their lives their experiences were totally different. At one time it was difficult to tell them apart, but as they reached adulthood that changed dramatically. Today their lives are totally different and it is sometimes difficult for me to remember that they are twins.

We are all given our own life to live and it really is ridicules to compare it to anyone else's life.

A couple of years ago I acquired a new female friend whose life experiences seemed very close to mine. It was a little eerie at times. I got into the bad habit of believing that because something was going on in her life it compared to something going on in mine. I would check with her before making important decisions. Lately my vision has improved and I can clearly see that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. It is easy to get caught up in believing that someone else is better at living our life than we are.

Many times I have temporarily been sucked into comparing myself to another. I have allowed this comparison to cause me to feel less than and at times even stupid. I once wrote "God doesn't make junk". I keep forgetting that simple quote.

Forty years of my life were spent allowing husbands to live my life for me. I suppose it wasn't a waste of time because the two marriages produced three children who produced four children, who have produced two and a half more. (One is on the way.)

Each was born with the ability to be a whole being who does not need to be compared to anyone else, living or dead. 


Friday, February 10, 2017

Moving on

To continue with this adventure: yesterday after going through some old papers and tossing many of them I ordered new business cards. I had tried to do this once before but something got screwed up on the website and I gave up on the idea.it probably just wasn't time.

I am really happy with what I chose to order. I eliminated my physical address as it really wasn't needed. I simply used my name, blog address, phone #, email and the title motivational author. It took me a few minutes to decide whether to use writer or author. Well, I am a published author so that settled that! This is what it now says.

www.subconsciousmessages.blogspot.com
-------------------------------------------------
Barbara Loure` Gunn
    motivational author
505-287-7278
begunn37@q.com

This morning I was curious as to why I chose a pink spring blossom background. I whipped out my trusty Dream Book by Betty Bethards to see what the word blossom meant. What it said was: a job well done, you have sown and reaped beauty, a beautiful expression of self. Oh and pink means love. Perfect I thought!

Thinking about a job well done my mind immediately went to my three grown children. Even though two of the three do not communicate that might be a good thing after all. It proves they can take care of themselves and their families and don't need me for anything. The third, although temporarily living with me, also lives his own life. Luckily my house is large enough to provide more than enough space for us both to enjoy freedom. The arrangement also provides back up if anything should go wrong. Therefore I'm thinking, job well done fits perfectly.

So it is time to put the past in the past and do something different.

Still thinking and waiting for my human mind and my soul mind to let me know just what I am supposed to be doing now.



Thursday, February 9, 2017

Change is in the picture

After posting the previous information about making and donating baby caps I quickly crocheted about a dozen and took them to the maternity ward today. I was met by the person in charge who said, "Oh my goodness I already have a backlog". She shared that they just haven't had many babies born in the last couple of months.

I had to laugh because lately I have had a problem with my neck and need to back off of crocheting because it is not helping the problem. I was relieved that I could do exactly that and not feel guilty.

On the way home I was thinking about what else I could do to use my talents. In the past I have sewn little dresses for Africa, but I can't do that anymore as Grants no longer has a store that sells fabric. That really is a shame as there are many craft people who live here. Older people who no longer drive have a problem getting to Albuquerque or Gallup.

In the past I have also worked at Future Foundations keeping an eye on the kids in the after school program. I have never been so disrespected in my life by staff as well as some of the children. I couldn't get paid enough to do that again.  It made me wonder what goes on in people's houses nowadays.

I have also directed two writing groups, one for senior citizens and one for children. Although that was fun it was hard to keep the participants interested on a regular basis. Everybody seems to have too many other things to do and they don't want to be pinned down.

I'm still thinking about what to do with the free time I have on my hands. I do spend a lot of time on Facebook but with all the current political posts I am slowly losing interest. I may take a break for awhile.

For some strange reason today I ordered new business cards from a company I had used before. I have no clue what I need them for, but they are very upbeat with a background of spring blossoms. When my human mind and my soul mind get together perhaps I will find out what the new change in the picture is going to be. Until then I will just use my imagination and see what pops up.

Later

Monday, February 6, 2017

Just a little bit

If you have a little bit of time, a little bit of baby yarn and a little bit of a desire to do something nice for your community I have an idea. I have been told it puts a smile on the face of every new mother at your local hospital when they receive one.

I know I have posted this picture before, but I am making another stab at inspiring others to join me. I took a little break during the holidays for other projects I was working on but now I am back to the new born babies. This time I am including the simple instructions.



Use H (U.S.) crochet hook and baby yarn

Round 1:Ch 2,12 DC in first ch, join with slip stitch
Round 2:Ch 2; DC in same stitch, 2 DC in next and each stitch around, join
Round 3:Ch 2, DC in same stitch, 1 DC in next,( 2 DC in next, 1 DC in next) around, join
Round 4:Ch 2, DC in same stitch, (1 DC in next,1 DC in next 3) around, join
Round 5-10:Ch 2, DC in each stitch around, join
Round 11:Ch 1, SC in each stitch around, join, finish off
For variety round 11 can be made with contrasting yarn.

1-2-3 crochet!!

Note: The reason these caps have ridges between rows is that they were crocheted into the back loops instead of both loops. Either way is fine.