Christine's Story (Spirits of Cibola County)

Christine, an employee of a local chain store, recently made a decision to stand up for herself as a human being. A customer service manager had been treating her as if she had no brains. On the last day of her employment she was rudely ordered to perform a task the manager could have done herself. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

She finished her shift, took off her uniform, clocked out and left. Christine breathed a sigh of relief. It was not the first time in her life that she had been abused. She had divorced her alcoholic husband ten years earlier because he had physically abused her for years.

Being a Spanish Catholic she had put off getting a divorce because it had been hammered into her head to stay married no matter what. She told her three daughters, "Do not hit anyone, especially men, because they hit back- hard."

During her marriage she worked hard to earn her GED and has since taken several classes for self-improvement.

Christine said she never felt loved. Her father had also been an alcoholic and left the home when she was three years old. Most of her life she blamed her mother for her unhappiness until she realized her mother had done her best under the circumstances.

Feeling a strong spiritual tone coming into her life is confusing Christine. She is risking questioning traditions and rules she has grown up with. She has begun to gather information and think for herself. She admits needing to remind herself that she has value and deserves to be treated with respect.

Christine said, "Sometimes I feel like a failure that has never finished anything."

If she could view herself from the outside she would see that is not true. She has nurtured three children and guided them to a place where they can survive on their own as adults.

She spent her life doing things for others that they could have done for themselves. Christine feels she has taken the blame for everything around her even when it was not her fault. It became habit forming. Sometimes it is difficult for us to clearly see our own life and where we are headed. We often need the assistance of someone looking at it from a with a detached view.

Christine knows that each time she risks doing something new, even if it sounds impossible she is moving in a positive direction. She was born with the tools to be a positive loving person and only needs to give herself permission to use them. Christine is now learning that when something hurts it needs to be dealt with and not swept under the carpet.

(Since her story was written, Christine moved away. When I last heard from her she was happily employed as a caretaker for an elderly woman.)

P.S. After re-typing this story I realized that I got by with a lot while writing my human interest column! There is a big difference between a columnist and a reporter.
Columnists get to think for themselves, reporters record what others think.