How did you get here?

Birth used to be a fairly simple matter, but not anymore. Now a female doesn't even need to touch a male and a baby is created from a sperm bank. Surrogates are everywhere. Healthy grandmothers can now give birth to a grandchild. Then there is adoption at birth, which can create all kinds of problems for not only the child but his/her entire family. An adoption can either be open or closed. I have had experiences with both.

As a columnist for the Cibola Beacon I interviewed a new mother whose first child was adopted through an agency. The adoption was open and the very young birth mother was allowed to keep tabs on the child through the years. She was given access to photos etc.and even had occasional visits. I'm not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, but it was the way this family chose to deal with the situation.

In my family there are at least two instances of a child being adopted. Both times there was no information given to the child about the birth. In both cases the families are looking for biological relatives.

Another unusual situation was my deceased daughter-in-law who found out as a teenager that her birth parents were really her aunt and uncle. She said it was devastating for her.

When a child is given up for adoption it creates three points of view. 1.the birth mother, 2.the adoptive mother and 3.the child.

Personally I think adoption should be open to the child if he/she desires to know the circumstances of the birth. It's really nobody else's business and the rest of the family should just butt out.