Faith vs. fear

Quite often the idea for a blog post comes from something a friend has said that has made me think about my own life. I think that's the way the universe works, if we pay attention. This happened today when listening to someone talk about which came first, faith or fear.

I have no memory of going to church as a young child. My parents were not religious. Between ages five and six I developed an ear infection and it led to surgery. Apparently I was not expected to live. I don't recall being afraid, even though I was admitted to the hospital the night before the big event. I don't even remember if my parents stayed with me that night. The next morning I remember being left alone on a gurney outside the operating room. That was scary and I believe it led to years of feeling abandoned. I still was not afraid of the surgery.

I now have reason to believe that during the operation I had an out of body experience. I remember sitting on the knee of a man who asked me if I wanted to stay with him or continue to live my life. I apparently agreed to go on living because 82 years later I am still here.

To this day I remember that after I came home I had developed a strong personal relationship with the man I now believe was my Creator. Up to that point I had never been taught anything about God. I somehow knew about the life/death experience. I believe that is when faith began for me.

I have always had a personal relationship with God that has never needed a building or a man behind a pulpit.

Fear, on the other hand, no doubt developed gradually because I simply forgot to have faith. It seems I need an attitude adjustment. I can do that!