I love it when a simple thing like watching my puppy, Ejay, from my kitchen window leads me to make a decision I have been pondering for some time. The dog had been chewing on the end of a rawhide bone for weeks and this morning he took it outside and calmly buried it under a tree. Although he has other things to munch on, this bone was one of his favorites. The act was so clearly a universal lesson that I just can't ignore it.
There is a favorite person in my life that I have also been "chewing" on for some time and today I do believe it is time to bury the relationship.
Taking a good look at the person with my eyes wide open I see that his actions have never matched his words. He never follows through with anything he promises he is going to do. He is the kind of person who has big ideas that never happen. He starts projects and no doubt sees them finished, but there is no middle to his plans. He does not have the tools to move from where he is to where he wants to go. Like a Mexican jumping bean he flops from one thing to another, never able to commit to anything or anyone. There is a word for that and it is desultory: meaning the fear of commitment.
I have been trying to hold onto this relationship because I am actually able to see the person's soul and I know he can change if he wants to bad enough. Apparently he just doesn't want to or possibly he really can't see what he is doing and that his actions are interfering with the possibility of a much happier life.
Because of watching Ejay bury his favorite bone this morning without looking back I believe I am ready to do the same with this relationship. It is time to let go of something that obviously is never going to change for the better in this lifetime, no matter how much positive energy I give the situation.