I finally found the key!

Sometimes you just have to put all the puzzle pieces in a box, shake them up and roll them out onto a pristine pallet to find the answer to a question you weren't even aware you were seeking. Gathering a little of this and a little of that and a big chunk of my never failing friend intuition (otherwise known as universal help), I Goggled communication skills. In all honesty I must admit that at this point I knew exactly what I was looking for. I was searching for a key word.

The first word I came across was confidence. Reading on, it suddenly struck me like a bolt of lightening that it is not only the key to communication, but to every challenge we face as a human being. I can just hear a very good friend of mind saying "if you ain't got confidence you ain't got nothin'!"

Confidence is the element that has changed in my life. It is what has made everything else possible. All the other pieces of the puzzle now fit together perfectly. It is why I now have people following me that previously didn't even acknowledge my existence. It is why I do not fear challenging those who in the past I have allowed to intimidate me. It is why I no longer allow others to live my life for me. It is why I now have boundaries and if people cross them I do not hesitate to push them away, until or unless they meet my expectations.

In a minute I will share what else I found about communication skills so I don't waste the knowledge I acquired, but first I want to share a quote from former U.S. Senator, Fred Thompson, regarding President Ronald Reagan,  known as "the great communicator".  He said, "He was believable because he believed."

Exactly!

Now for the goggled information regarding communication skills: Next to confidence, which attracts others like a magnet, the suggestion was to show interest. Get the other person to talk about their self. Ask questions that require a detailed answer, not just yes or no. Phrase questions to make the person think. Listen twice as much as you speak. Stay focused, absorb the information and follow with a question relevant to the information received. Of course, if you are having a person to person conversation, as opposed to an online one, eye contact is important. Don't be afraid to take risks, nobody can take away your self-worth but you. The more interests you have the more you have to talk about. Start small and get comfortable it will build up your confidence.

The key word is confidence, if you have it you need do nothing more, if you don't; get out there and find IT!