What was I thinking?

Someone's Facebook post really got my attention today. It was, "Happiness is having a husband who is also your best friend". What a concept that would have been! I was married for a total of forty years to two different men who never fit that definition. Do you suppose that might have been the reason for two very unhappy relationships?

Looking back on those forty years It makes me ask myself, "What was I thinking?'

Neither relationship came anywhere near being a friendship. I had so little in common with those two partners it would have been laughable if it were not so sad. Basically, I was simply a maid, cook and babysitter. Neither husband ever saw who I really am. It reminds me of that ad that goes, "Do you see me?"

My last encounter ended in 1999. Since then I have only been responsible for myself and the choices I make. It has resulted in being ignored by most of my biological family, but so what? They are also free to live their lives however they wish.

I wonder, was the purpose of those forty years simply to produce three children who are all now adults? I'm not sure of the answer to that, but I know I am happier since I chose myself as my best friend. It didn't take a priest, a pastor, a church or anyone else to make that happen. I just had to learn to believe in myself.