“Helping others at our own expense is an act of selfishness. Martyrdom always has a hidden agenda.” ~author David Roppo
When we spend our life offering unneeded help to another it is like saying “I am not worthy of love as I am.” I have to give you things you could get for yourself and do things for you that you could do for yourself so that you will love me.
The second half of this equation is that the receiver thinks the giver believes them to be incapable or even stupid. When the giver does not get recognition for the unwanted giving and helping, a finger is pointed at the receiver calling him/her ungrateful. This unfortunate circle of events has no winner and only creates negative energy for both participants.
Often the misguided giver is trying to make up for their own childhood experiences of the lack of someone caring about them; causing the person to grow into adulthood with low self-esteem. The only cure for them is to practice self love. Of course, there is always the chance that some misguided soul who doesn’t understand, will label them narcissistic!
Words of wisdom:
I chose then based on what I knew then and will choose now based on what I have learned from the lessons. ~Pj Samuels
As we think, we begin to feel; as we feel, we vibrate; when we vibrate, we start to attract. You attract exactly what you are resonating. ~author John Holland
We wish to be self-sustained. We do not quite forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think of giving not as a duty, but as a privilege. ~John D. Rockefeller
I have found that among other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver. ~Maya Angelou
No one has ever become poor by giving. ~Anne Frank
Pure giving comes from the heart and expects no reward. ~Barbara Gunn