A letter to my Creator

 I believe history repeats itself until we learn the lesson that was offered. For that reason I would like to share an excerpt from my published E-book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist.

 

Dear God,

Remember me Father? When I was six you snatched me from an operating room, right under the nose of the surgeon who was attempting to save my life. He was not aware that at that moment my life was not totally in his hands.

As I sat cuddled in your lap, with my head on your chest, I felt loved and protected. You silently asked me if I wanted to stay with you or return to the life I had been assigned. You knew my answer before you asked the question because you created me with a loving heart, a sense of humor and enough tenacity to survive anything.

Sixty plus years later I am thinking maybe I should have asked some pertinent questions before blindly accepting the experiences planned for me. Perhaps that is why you had a big smile on your face as you gently returned me to earth.

I survived my childhood with a controlling mother who must have missed the class on building a child’s self-esteem. Perhaps she was just too busy with her own problems to notice mine.

I am grateful that you gave me wonderful grandparents who were positive role models. They taught me about honesty, keeping promises and caring about other people. Although they have been gone for many years their values live on to be taught to my own grandchildren.

As a teenager, I had no clue what I was supposed to do with my life. By 20 I had married the first man who asked me, not believing I had other choices. You tried to warn me. I did not listen and endured a 13 year, emotionally abusive, relationship with a self-centered womanizer.

Because I was fearful that I could not support our two sons by myself, I quickly married again.  This time to a dedicated alcoholic. I was so busy constructing my version of a family that I gave little thought to my own needs. Perhaps I was trying to make up for what I missed as a child. Again you tried to warn me and I did not listen.

I begged you for another child for six years before you granted my request, when I was forty. I consider my daughter to be a special gift from you to me. Raising her kept me young and a little off step with my peers.

The day finally came when I was forced to figure out what I was going to do without children to hide behind. Did I hear you chuckle as I desperately asked for help to get out of the hole I had dug for myself?

In answer to my plea I was touched by a spirit that changed me forever. It guided me to eliminate the negative energy controlling my life. I began writing and it opened the window of my mind and polished the love that had been tarnished by negativity since my birth.

I am aware that I have a very special relationship with you that never fails to provide enlightenment when I ask. Looking in the mirror I now see a strong person who is learning to stand alone and accept whatever happens as an opportunity to evolve my soul.

Do you remember me Father? I am no longer the little girl that you snatched from an operating room so many years ago.