Last day 2023

Today is the last day of this year. I still see some people wearing masks, Trump is still in the news, most of my immediate family still does not communicate with me. On the good side my cataract surgery is done, I still have close friends, my oldest son still lives with me and helps out now and then.

I don't know if my missing relatives will ever speak and I am not sure it really matters. I did my part and apparently that's all that was necessary for their growth. It appears that I don't really need them in my current life. With 2024 coming up tomorrow, perhaps it is time to just let them live their own lives.

Fish

With all the recipes bouncing around Facebook it reminded me of something that happened when I was a child, maybe six or so. on the night I was supposed to enter the hospital for mastoid surgery, my father told me I could have whatever I wanted for dinner. Without hesitating I said smelt. Today I wonder if anyone even knows what that is. It is a little fried fish with the head and guts removed. I clearly remember cleaning them to get them ready to fry. My father was the cook in our family.

Lost & found

I was looking for a side dish recipe I made years ago, found it and decided to share it.

Creamy Corn Casserole

12 oz. can cream corn

1/2 cup finely chopped celery

1 cup cracker crumbs

1/2 cup finely chopped onion 

1 cup grated cheese

1 tsp. salt

2 beaten eggs

1 cup milk

2 Tbl. margarine

1 cup chopped green chili

Combine ingredients, pour into greased 1 1/2 quart casserole, bake 50 min. @ 350 degrees.

A sick puppy

Yesterday my son and I spent a couple of hours in the vets office with Lilly because I didn't have an appointment and she needed attention.It was actually the first time she had been in the office. She got her original vaccinations from the vet who took care of the animal shelter.She had been bleeding from the rectum and needed to be seen. It was kind of fun sitting in the waiting room checking out the variety of dogs that came in. One in particular had an amazing story told by her human. The dog's mother had been killed in a car accident while pregnant. Someone decided to try to save her pups. two survived and the man was given one. He/she was a beautiful white dog who had come in for shots. The dog was only seven weeks old and would apparently grow to be very large.

Lilly behaved extremely well during her first vet visit and is already showing signs of improvement.

Half way through

Today marks half way through my cataract surgery, with six days free of drops. My second surgery is November 17th. For the last month I have been basically seeing two different things and it has been annoying. Even though I could drive just fine, the MVD decided to cancel my drivers license. I have an appointment in Grants on the 27th to see if I can pass the local MVD eye teat. I am thinking positive thoughts about that. It would be nice not to have any restrictions on my new license.

A vacation

Okay, I guess things go better with a different attitude. I approached my MVD appointment a bit nervous this morning. I had been told by Santa Fe MVD that they cancelled my drivers license because they didn't receive a vision report from my doctor. That could have been because I am in the middle of cataract  surgery and am waiting for the second eye to be done. It doesn't make sense to submit an old report when my vision is changing.

I had an appointment with a very nice lady at our local MVD office this morning. I was told after the second surgery to either have the doctor fill out a new vision report or come in and take the machine test to see if I can pass it. It is not necessary to take a new written or road test and I can keep my license for an ID. So now I get a three week vacation from driving from the MVD. I am grateful that I don't have to take the tests again!

Goodbye

 I just made the decision to close my last Facebook group. It was not what I had planned when I opened it. All good things do not always turn out good. I felt bad clicking off friends, but it was the only way I could close the group.. Now I am free to share my thoughts, pictures etc. how and when I want to, with no rules followed or not. I trust my real friends will understand.

Bad dog!

I had a friend take me to Albuquerque yesterday for my post op eye appointment. My son planned to board his dog at Pet Smart so he could go to Denver for a concert. The dog had other ideas! He refused to allow the employees to put an ID collar on him. As a result my sons plans were cancelled and he was out his motel charge and concert ticket. 

My plans went well. I was informed the surgery looked really good and if all goes as planned I will only need glasses to read after the surgery on the second eye. That will be a lot to get used to as I have worn glasses since I  was a child. The doctor did suggest readers to get me by for the time being. I was having trouble reading my computer.I also picked up dark sun glasses as I was told my eyes would be light sensitive for awhile. Looking forward to getting the second surgery done in November. Now to convince MVD that I don't need a current vision report.

To vote or not?

If the next presidential election is between Biden and Trump I am definitely not voting. I have had enough of this crap! Same goes if it is between Harris and Trump. What a joke!

Who knew?

Wow Ancestry.com is good! I just got an email announcing something new. For a small fee I can explore my traits and see where they come from. As an example they offered freckles and not liking cilantro. I already know freckles are from my father's side, but how did they know I don't like cilantro? I didn't feel like spending more money to find out.

There are a lot of strange things that come through on that site. One thing omitted is my life as a small child. I know I was born in 1937 in Ketchikan, Alaska, followed by a brother's birth 13 months later, but I have no memory of living in Alaska nor the boat trip to Washington State. I find that really odd as I had to have been at least three. It is almost like something wiped out my early memory. Perhaps it was the anesthesia trauma from surgery as a child?

Just kidding

In the 70s I lived in New Laguna, New Mexico and was going to a therapist because I was suffering from anxiety attracts. While in a group I remember one of the questions asked. It was, "how do you think you will die". Interesting huh? Keep in mind this was many years ago. My answer was, in a car accident at 85. I just thought of that and shouted - I was just kidding because I am now 85! At the time it seemed a long ways away.I wonder what my answer would be now. It sure wouldn't be peacefully, surrounded by my family, since most of them don't even speak to me now. I have a feeling there may be more than one family member who will be sorry. Too late!

Unanswered questions

Although I believe in living more than one life I have a problem coming back as a baby. I remember parts of three past lives and that is enough. I know someone who wanted to come back as a healer and I wonder if she will. The thought of living another life starting as a baby just doesn't turn me on. Perhaps I will be a guide?

The other question I have regarding spirits is when a human thinks of them do they know? That thought would be nice but I wonder if their past life is just wiped out and added to their growth?

Moving on

Today is my youngest great grand daughter's 6th birthday. Happy birthday Juliet! She just started kindergarten too. Today is also one month to my first cataract surgery. Since that involves three eye drops four times a day I decided to practice with daily lubricating drops. That's something a former optometrist told me to do anyway. Not looking forward to the cataract drops but it is something everyone going through the surgery has to do to aid healing. It is not the worst thing I have lived through.

New perception

 My ex-husband died in 2016. We were married for 27 years and divorced in 2000.Our only child took charge of his memorial service. It has pissed me off that she completely erased the years we were married and did not once even mention me. It was like 27 years of his life never happened. Our daughter's Godfather replied, "Did she think the stork brought her?"

I recently realized that her actions didn't diminish my existence at all. What it did was tell everyone present who she is.

When we were married my husband had an insurance policy worth $150,000 dollars. I don't know what happened to it but I never saw any of it. Our daughter only got $5,000 dollars at the time of his death.It made me laugh when I remembered that from the divorce I was awarded my house, property and $50,000. I also, years later, got two thousand from a joint account we shared.

I wonder if Karma played a part in this situation?

You have given enough

 Every now and then I run across a quote that captures my attention.That happened today. The quote was, "You have given enough, it's time for you to start receiving now." Thinking back over my life that is no doubt true. Sometimes I wonder if I was born not expecting anything in return for the things I have done for others, especially family. The payment I have always received is, "Let's not talk to her". I often wonder what the Creator thinks of that choice.

A bed of her own

I have had a pet bed for many years. My female cat, Ebony used it to give birth to her four kittens, then my dog, Ejay used it for about ten years. When I got my dog ,Lilly I gave it to her. She decided to chew the front part of the basket until I finally put it away and just used an old pillow for her to sleep on. Eventually I felt sorry for her and decided it was time to get her a new bed all her own.

Last night was her first experience with it. As I shut the door to the room she sleeps in I had my doubts if she was going to use it. When I opened the door this morning she was laying on it. Success!

Use you brain

We have been trying to deal with close to 100 degree temperatures without air conditioning. My son had someone come to give us an estimate. It would cost several thousand dollars, which I don't have. There is a swamp cooler siting on my roof that hasn't been used for several years because it kept overflowing. There was no way I was going to climb up on the roof, even if I could fix it. I knew I had to do something before we died of heat stroke.

I called Chavez Plumbing to see if they could work on it. I had used them for years for plumbing problems, but I didn't expect a call back within two hours. Demetrio Chavez was at our door and within an hour or so had the swamp cooler running. It apparently pays to know people! The cold air feels great and I am sure the dogs appreciate it as much as we do. I didn't have a problem paying the $300 it cost as opposed to several thousand it would have cost for an air conditioner.

Old and new

 You never know what you will find when you scan old stuff. I forgot about this old post written by a friend. I think my answers then are pretty much still true.

July 23, 2010

Aging Gracefully with Consciousness

This week's Beauty of the Week is Barbara Loure`Gunn.  Barbara is 72-years-old and has a very big heart. Her goal is to inspire others to be the best that they can be by sharing her experiences. She is the mother of three, a grandmother, and a twenty-year cancer survivor. One of her passions is writing her blog Subconscious Messages. She is also the author of the books A Gathering of Spirit, and Wake Up!

Barbara has this to say about aging gracefully:

What keeps me young?

Ignoring the fact that my birth certificate says I’m 72.

Hanging out with souls of all ages, especially the young.

Regular exercise, walking is free.

Eating healthy (mostly), I seldom eat red meat, fried or processed food.

Most important is honesty and a sense of humor.

What motivates me?

Being grateful for the gift of life.

A “conscious “quest to use every opportunity to evolve my soul.

A desire to share my experiences through my published books and inspirational blog.

My three children were born over a 20 year period so I believe I have earned the right to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it.

Barbara you absolutely have!

Thank you so much for being this week's Aging Beauty :-)

louise@linesofbeauty.com Louise CF at 9:07 AM

One thing leads to another

Well my son and his dog returned from their three week tour of the U.S. Next all the furniture had to be removed from the living room and dinning room to prepare for laminate flooring. I was sick of the carpet and decided to replace it. It was more expensive than expected but I don't intend to have to do it again. Now my son needs to replace the molding. That should be fun! We already ordered new heat vent covers. Let's see another new project is to recover the carpet on the front steps. Thank goodness nothing needs painting at the moment. I already painted the garage door last week. Well that's about it for now. It's really hard to believe this house was purchased in 1976.

In other words

After reading my newest Kindle story, The Bad Parents, I have a new name for my first husband of thirteen years. For years I referred to him as a womanizer. It seemed to fit. He went from one female to another. I remember his best man telling me, "Good Luck" at the wedding. I should have listened. Anyway a better name for him would be "Serial Cheater". We divorced in 2000 and he died in 2008. I didn't do it! 

Another idea

I have been wondering who the spirit is that seems to be looking over my shoulder. It has become an obsession. In mentioning it to a friend yesterday, she said what does it matter who it is? It is about love. I have always had a problem with love. But when I thought about it I saw that she was right. I have connected with a spirit from another place because that spirit, whoever he/she is, cares about me and is trying to help me evolve. I guess one could say that is about love.

Wisdom from the past

 

This path is yours

In sending an email to a friend yesterday I realized again that even though we all come from the same source we all have our own path to walk. It is not for us to know what lessons and experiences each of us has mapped out. It is only our job to walk our own path to the best of our ability to evolve our own soul.

Another friend posted a request this morning that people say a prayer for all those who are suffering from cancer. Because of losing the love of his life to the disease he is on a path to make others aware. When I read his post my first thought was, “God how can you make little children suffer and die from cancer?” Then I immediately followed that with, “Wait you aren’t making anyone do anything you are simply allowing it”.

Although it is horrible that children are dying, whose fault is it? Could it possibly be the environment or the food they choose to eat? There is a huge difference between now and when I was a child, or even when I raised my children. Today I look at things my oldest son keeps in the refrigerator to drink and snack on and I think, “Didn’t I teach you anything about what’s healthy?”  He isn’t alone though because I know I eat way too much sugar. 

From the moment we take our first breath to the moment we take our last we walk on our assigned path and no two are exactly alike. If we could all learn to take responsibility for ourselves and accept each other as is perhaps the world would be a friendlier place to reside.

 

Writing your own obituary

 I believe everyone should write their own obituary and it is very simple. Whether it is actually published in a paper really doesn't matter. Copies should be left with the main survivors in any case. The first sentence should obviously include the name, birth date, birth place, parents. Next, death date and where. Next a list of biological relatives who preceded the person in death. IE:parents, grandparents etc. 

Second paragraph: who the person is survived by. This can be as long as you wish.

The rest is up to you. What are you most proud of? What things do you hope you have done that will help others?

That's pretty much it. Good luck with that!

Living forever

I wonder if some people think they will live forever? They apparently have little consideration for those they leave behind. My father, mother and ex-husband belonged to that group. None of them even left a will, let alone an obituary. I, on the other hand, hope to have taken care of all that and more when the time comes for me to leave earth. It's not that I expect that to be soon, I just want to be sure my wishes are covered for those I leave behind. 

Thinking about what I may still wish to do led me to think about encouraging people to write their own obituary. Seriously, who knows you better than you do? I remember reading the one written for my ex-husband. My oldest son read it too and his first question was, "Who wrote this?" This train of thought led me to update mine. There were some changes I wanted to make. It is now tucked away with the other important documents I have created for when the time comes.. 

Perhaps I could connect with a local group of senior citizens and encourage people to write their own obituaries while there is still time.

More money

I decided to bite the bullet and replace my living room/dinning room carpet with laminate floor covering. I replaced the carpet five years ago, but have have never been happy with it. I choose the only flooring company left in Grants,NM, Arnold's, to deal with. I like the color I picked out. I was going to have it done while my son is taking a three week tour of the U.S., but he talked me into waiting so he can help move the furniture out of the way. This is an expensive project, but it is a necessary move with two dogs in the house. It has a lifetime guarantee and is waterproof. It is something I should have done a long time ago. 

A pendulum

One of my friends and I use a pendulum off and on. Lately, I have been wondering if the answeres I get are real or am I picking up negative vibes? I decided to google a question to see how to tell the difference. One of the suggestions was to say the following out loud. "This pendulum can only be used by my guides. No other energies, including my own, can affect the answers of this pendulum". I sent a message to my friend, sharing the suggestion. She agreed it sounded like a good idea.

Looking back

Over the last 20 or so years I have done a lot of things. Laughingly, I haven't earned a lot of money doing them. Thank goodness for Social Security and parents who taught me by example that you don't need a lot of money to survive.

I think the challenge I am most proud of is the creation of the summer writing camp for school age children. Its purpose was to introduce the kids to people in the community who had interesting jobs.It gave the adults an opportunity to share their experiences and just maybe provide an interest for the children in something they didn't know about. After the adults finished talking about their job the kids were given an opportunity to write about what they had learned. One of the most sincere compliments I have ever received came from one of the adults. He said, "I wish there had been something like this when I was growing up".

One adult that stands out was the editor of our local paper. I don't remember much of what he told them, but I definitely remember the ending. After the kids wrote he had them each, in turn, stand on a chair to read what they had written. I was holding my breath that nobody fell!

The other one that stands out was the very last, after four years.I brought my dog, Ejay, and my son who had recently retired from the Army. Ejay was a rescue who had apparently run away. His previous owner couldn't afford the fee to get him back. He showed how happy he was by taking a run around the top of the tables, stopping to say hello to everyone on the way. After explaining who he was, I asked he kids to write about what they thought his life was like before I adopted him. My son came up next and told them about all his assignments during the 35 years he was in the Army. He retired as a Sargent Major. After all that their first question was, "Are you married?" My son and I just looked at each other and tried not to laugh. 

  

Mountains

It seems all of my life mountains have played a part in my life. I grew up in Washington Sate,with Mt. Rainer in view. Since 1980 I have lived at the foot of Mt. Taylor in New Mexico. Several years ago one of my "Past" memories that appeared was of my death in an avalanche, along with my father. This can't be a coincidence! I don't even care much for snow!

Good question

A really good question passed by me on Facebook today. It was, why did you stop going to church? I thought about it for awhile and came up with my answer. I got tired of men in robes telling me how I should live my life. I believe I have a one on one connection with my Creator and that's all I need.

Good to go

According to the retina surgeon all is good to go ahead with the cataract surgery in the fall. One step in the right direction. While waiting I had a conversation with a gentleman who had the surgery years ago in the hospital. They actually removed the cataracts. He said now it is a breeze, according to his wife. It appears things have improved over time. Now I just need to find someone who is willing to take me and stay with me during the surgery. Still working on that one.

New Info?

Tomorrow I get to see what the retina doctor has to say about my vision. The cataract surgeon needs to know if there is anything that will interfere with his scheduled surgery. I certainly hope not. One thing at a time is enough to handle.

It's time

I made a decision today to close one of my groups.I have tried to keep it alive for some time and even changed the name, thinking it might help.The day has come when it is time to give it up. I can't help thinking about a quote that came to me several years ago. It was, "Quietly leaving makes the biggest noise."

I made the announcement to the members today and tomorrow I will follow through with my plans. I still have the group, "Open Hearts and Minds" and for some reason I don't believe I should close this blog.

A good question

A question came through on Facebook today that I didn't hesitate to answer. It was, "How would you change your wedding?" Without thinking my answer was, "Not show up!"

I was actually thinking about my second wedding, but it applies to both. The first happened 6 weeks after we met, bowling I think. I found out he was a womanizing jackass, but I married him anyway. I stuck it out for 13 years and had two children.I finally said enough!

My second wedding took place about 6 months after we began dating. He was Catholic, I wasn't. He was also an alcoholic, I wasn't. The one thing I asked of him was don't drink before the ceremony. As the Priest said, "You may kiss the bride." I turned towards him and smelled booze. I stuck it our for 27 years and had one child.

I suppose if I had not shown up I would not have children, grandchildren or great grandchildren.

A new store

As I again ordered an item from Amazon that should be available in Grants,NM, I thought if someone wanted to open a store that would have a ton of customers, a craft store would be ideal.Walmart is the only option and it sucks! They closed their craft department years ago and there are no other options, unless you want to drive 100 miles East or West. There are plenty of buildings just sitting there waiting to be occupied. I know there are zillions of craft people living here. Come on someone make a move in the right direction!

I also know of a large building, only used two days a week, right in the middle of town. It could easily be shared, by let's say, a badly needed optometrist.I don't understand what is wrong with people. We have great weather and the rents are cheap. Come on down or over or whatever, just come! 

Remembering the past

I remember the last day I saw my mother alive, well sort of. She was in a coma and the nurse said, "Tell her you love her, she can hear you." I did nothing. I felt she was already gone. My grandfather wanted them to remove the tubes, but they didn't. She apparently didn't have a living will. It was the last time I saw her as I needed to take care of her belongings and apartment.

It has been 36 years since that event. Today two of my three children and four grandchildren do not speak to me. I am wondering if it is karma? Is it something I deserve? I distinctly remember all the times I gave to them and put them first in my life. If they don't remember, I do.

Happy Mother's Day to my daughter and granddaughter. I hope they have a better day remembering the past.

Just for fun, a last picture of my mother and her mother. Also my daughter and granddaughter

 

Opportunities

I was thinking this morning that even though I don't have a college education I have had my share of writing opportunities. I have published two hard cover books, four Kindle books and one that is available as a paperback. Impressive right? But that's not all! I have led two local writing groups, from the young to older members. Hopefully, I have inspired someone to write. I can't forget the four years as a columnist for our local paper, or the 64 interviews I was able to do. Wow that's a lot of writing!

It has never ever mattered to me that I have not earned much money with all this writing. My purpose has been to inspire others to do their best. I really hope I haven't reached the end of my opportunities because I would like to keep going, if I only knew how.  

Who is to blame?

After checking on my online checking account I noticed that I was being charged $44 more for my car insurance. At first it made me mad. It even made me madder when I discovered I hadn't been sent a new card. I literally had no way of proving I had insurance if I was stopped. I tried to access my online car insurance with no luck. They wouldn't accept my password. The only option I had was to call the company.

Since I needed to go to the grocery store I decided to do that first. The first person I saw a I entered the parking lot was of course, police. I made really sure I didn't do anything wrong, as I knew I didn't have proof of insurance, even though I knew I did.

As soon as I got back home I made the call to the insurance company. I did find out that the reason for the hike was due to an accident I had last November. It was my fault. It takes six years for it to get off your record. That answers that question. Since the car is a 2004 I only have liability on it, so it can't get much lower. It doesn't matter how few miles I drive it. 

The increase is actually my fault but, there is still no excuse for them not informing me of the premium increase or for not providing a current insurance card.

Teach me

Teach me

In flipping through an old file I found a picture that I had been looking for. It was taken in 2001 at the wedding of my daughter’s best friend. I know it was 2001 because my daughter was pregnant with my youngest grandson. The picture was of the grooms father and a young grandson. They were sitting on tree stumps facing the water in the Riverwalk.

The young man had just been reprimanded by his grandfather for throwing sticks into the water. This resulted in the two quietly watching the fish. Perhaps they were also learning that love for another does not require a ceremony?