Family is more than biology

If you believe that we were all created from the same source then that makes us all related. I keep checking into ancestry.com to see who they consider are my relatives. Wow there are about 240 souls that are supposed to be 4th cousins or closer. Who are these people I keep asking myself. Their names don't even make sense, except to the web site administrators. I have a couple of first cousins that I have not been able to find. And another name keeps coming up as a first cousin's sibling as Andrew instead of Audrey. That leaves a lot to the imagination. Could be!?

On the subject of relatives it has always made me angry that when there is a divorce family members insist on taking sides. What the hell! How many people were in that marriage anyway? This happened to me when my late husband and I were divorced back in 1999. He came from a large family, me not so much. Of course his cousins etc. choose to believe his side, whether it was true or not. Our divorce was a mutual agreement. We even used the same lawyer!

My younger son was divorced. I remained friends with my daughter-in-law until her death, after taking the time to listen to her side of the story. I remember commenting to a friend that I didn't know what to call her. The friend asked, "did you divorce her?" My answer was no and he replied, "there is your answer".

In my older son's case I still communicate with his ex, who has remarried and has two young children. They could have been my grandchildren. I have sent them gifts now and then, but realize that probably made it difficult for their mother to explain to them who I am. I just picked up Valentine cards for them and my youngest grandson. On theirs I signed it "Your Secret Pal". Of course, their mother will know by the return address who the card is from, but they won't. Since they could have been my grandchildren why the heck not play a little game with them?

 Refusing to communicate makes no sense to me. We are all in this life together. Of course, there are those people that we should not touch with a 10 foot pole, relatives or not!