I am somebody

Following communication with a friend I received a video on my Facebook wall titled, Who are You...Really? I am going to share the link on this post because it is helping me eliminate the negative energy that has been interfering with my well being.We not only listen to who other people believe we are, but we listen to the sometimes warped view from our own minds, based on our life experiences.

There has been way too much negative energy in my life, mainly from listening to all those voices. I hope that by absorbing the message in this video I can silence them and live the remaining time I have left as a human in peace.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUtH0DDJorM&feature=share

In this post I would also like to share a personal observation with a photo I took several years ago. One day I asked nobody in particular, "what does a soul look like when it is no longer merged with a human body?. My question was answered in the following photo I took at our local Riverwalk.  They look like tiny beams of light.

Subliminal messages

Messages come in all forms.We just need to learn to pay attention. Lately the words "rise above it" and "a little child shall lead them" have been floating around in my mind. I have been trying to sort out what it means.

I have always kind of thought the little child is my youngest grandson. Whatever family problems have existed he has always chosen to rise above it and remain loyal to me. He appears to be a lot smarter than the rest of my grandchildren are. He is a very good role model for my entire family.

With Valentine's Day around the corner I have been thinking about the fact that there is very little if any communication from my oldest three grandchildren. One of my granddaughters has two children that I have never met, even though they have spent time in my town. They will be 8 and 6 this year. I have decided to take a lesson from my youngest grandson and send them cards to mark the holiday. I realized that they haven't done anything wrong and they probably don't even know I exist. Well I do exist!! I'll let their mother (my granddaughter) explain that to them.

Perhaps that's what the subliminal messages have been trying to get me to do. Rise above it and let a little child lead me, although 16 isn't very little. This child is going to go far in his lifetime.

Cemetery spirits

While looking for a temporarily lost document I ran across this excerpt from my e-book, Journey of an Enlightened Egotist, still available on Amazon.com. Since I had asked my guide, Richard, to help me find the document, which I did, I figured he wanted me to re-post this excerpt too.So here goes!

Shortly before Easter 2006 I was given a surprise I was not expecting. Although he later denied it I have a strong feeling that my guide Richard was in on it.

While writing one day a message was planted inn my mind that I could not ignore. I stopped what I was doing to perform the task that was suggested.

I cut the only three daffodils growing in my yard, placed them in a plastic cup, added glass pebbles and water and started my car. My destination was the cemetery near my house. After parking the car I picked up the container of flowers and walked to the grave of a young woman who had died of cancer several years earlier. I had a strong spiritual connection with the girl that I did not fully understand.

Kneeling at her grave I placed the flowers on the headstone. I quietly asked, "Can you help me?"

Instantly two voices coming from the back of the cemetery repeated a variation of my question. The first was female and it was closely followed by a male, both asking, "Can you help me?"

I could clearly see that I was the only human in the cemetery. Startled, I quickly returned to the safety of my car.

During the next few months I tried to figure out who the voices were and what they wanted me to do for them. I finally realized they were spirits who wanted me to tell the humans they had left behind that communication with them was possible if one believes.

The spirit photographs I had been taking began to make sense. They were a tool to give credibility to what I was being asked to do. The only question was would I comply with their request?

I had come this far I might as well go all the way. My answer was yes.

A personal reminder

Every six months to a year I pay a visit to my dermatologist. Having fair skin and living in New Mexico (previously California) I have been very prone to pre skin cancer, especially on my hands and face. The first doctor I went to kept telling me, "it isn't what you do now it is what happened years ago". I never really sat out in the sun, so I don't know what that is about. Perhaps the Swedish skin I inherited doesn't mix with the sun.

This is the result of my dermatology visit yesterday. Along with several spots that he froze he also took a sample of a growth between my fingers for a biopsy.

The only reason I am posting this is to encourage my readers to keep a watchful eye out and have anything that you are concerned about checked by a doctor. It's better than letting it go and ending up with skin cancer.
 

Family is more than biology

If you believe that we were all created from the same source then that makes us all related. I keep checking into ancestry.com to see who they consider are my relatives. Wow there are about 240 souls that are supposed to be 4th cousins or closer. Who are these people I keep asking myself. Their names don't even make sense, except to the web site administrators. I have a couple of first cousins that I have not been able to find. And another name keeps coming up as a first cousin's sibling as Andrew instead of Audrey. That leaves a lot to the imagination. Could be!?

On the subject of relatives it has always made me angry that when there is a divorce family members insist on taking sides. What the hell! How many people were in that marriage anyway? This happened to me when my late husband and I were divorced back in 1999. He came from a large family, me not so much. Of course his cousins etc. choose to believe his side, whether it was true or not. Our divorce was a mutual agreement. We even used the same lawyer!

My younger son was divorced. I remained friends with my daughter-in-law until her death, after taking the time to listen to her side of the story. I remember commenting to a friend that I didn't know what to call her. The friend asked, "did you divorce her?" My answer was no and he replied, "there is your answer".

In my older son's case I still communicate with his ex, who has remarried and has two young children. They could have been my grandchildren. I have sent them gifts now and then, but realize that probably made it difficult for their mother to explain to them who I am. I just picked up Valentine cards for them and my youngest grandson. On theirs I signed it "Your Secret Pal". Of course, their mother will know by the return address who the card is from, but they won't. Since they could have been my grandchildren why the heck not play a little game with them?

 Refusing to communicate makes no sense to me. We are all in this life together. Of course, there are those people that we should not touch with a 10 foot pole, relatives or not!

A final decision

For a few months I have been trying to decide what I want o do with the floors in my living room and dinning room. They are still covered with 30+ year old carpeting. I have been going back and forth while we keep sneezing away.

My final decision has been made- I hope!

I have decided to extend the vinyl that we put in the kitchen to the dinning room and short hallway to the master bedroom. I definitely don't want carpet in there anymore. Vinyl will be much easier to clean and will lighten up the room. I called Home Depot yesterday to make sure they still had it in stock. Yes they do and we will pick it up next weekend. Yay!

Next, or rather first, tomorrow I will check with a local carpet store to see what I can find to replace the living room carpet and short hallway at the other end. I need to find something that is pet friendly and reasonably priced. I just don't want to give up carpet all together, as the bedrooms and my office are now vinyl.

That only leaves the family room which will be fairly easy to do with vinyl, as it is 20'x20'. My goal is to have all floors finished by early spring. No more sneezing!

As I looked around I took inventory of what was in each room and realized that since my divorce, after 27 years of marriage, I had actually replaced every piece of furniture on my own. That is quite an accomplishment considering what my income has been since 1999. I must be doing something right as I owe nothing to anyone.

Even though owning a house has been challenging at times ( like replacing the furnace and water heater) I am grateful that I own. It allows me to do anything I want with it and I don't have to ask a soul for permission.Since owning my house was mainly made possible by my deceased in-laws I feel it is my responsibility to keep it in the best condition that I can afford.

So this is not only my final decision but a realization that all is going just the way it is supposed to go. As my good friend Lois would say onward and upward! Not so sure about upward though!

Follow the leader

Last week I watched the reenactment of the Waco, Texas massacre that occurred in 1993. In a 51 day siege by the government 76 people died, including the cult leader, David Koresh.  This program also reminded me of the Jones-town massacre in 1978 led by cult leader Jim Jones. 918 people died from drinking a poisoned punch in a mass suicide.

I still question how so many people could be talked into blindly following someone to their death.

In my lifetime I have followed people who I knew were a bit wacko, but I woke up before anything life threatening happened and deleted them from my life. Today I am asking myself, why did I do that? I always thought it was because I could see the person inside and refused to believe they were a lost cause. Perhaps it was the fact that I have the curiosity of a writer and was determined to reach the end. Perhaps I just enjoyed the game.

I never had any intention of joining them in their wackiness. I did wonder why so many people did though. Just as I wonder why or how can people be conned into following groups that are well known cults. My personal belief is when you don't have a strong belief system of your own it is very easy to get sucked in.

In my experience as long as the target thinks and says exactly what is expected everything is hunky dory. If the person actually has a workable brain and dares to put it in gear the perpetrator vanishes faster than a speeding bullet.

A short time ago I finally let the last big fish off the hook. I was finally tired of allowing the "leader" to blame me for "his" shortcomings. I do think about the lesson though. The only positive one I can come up with is, I am not responsible for what anyone else chooses to do, think or say. Sounds good to me!

The game is finally over and guess who won?.

A blast from the past

I was flipping through copies of some old blog posts and this one not only caught my eye and made me laugh, but it also caused me to remember just how much progress I have made on this journey called life. Here goes.

I never thought a simple lunch in my favorite Chinese restaurant could open my eyes to see that I really have moved on with my life. On top of that the buffet was delicious!

My lunch partner was a female friend who detests living in New Mexico. She is trying to sell her house and move to Texas to be near her grown children and grandchildren. The woman has accumulated a major amount of negative energy throughout her life and has never found a way to deal with it. It just keeps building up like a giant pile of Lego blocks.

Over the past few months I have tried to help her by suggesting things she could do to help herself. I have often reminded her, "I can't do it for you". Noticing that my life had changed dramatically from when we first met a few years ago, she slowly began to listen to me. She asked me how I obtained my knowledge and I told her books, the internet and  mostly just paying attention to what is going on around me.

I loaned her a copy of a book written in such simple language anyone could understand it. Hey it even had large print! At lunch today she returned the book. I asked if she had learned anything from her reading. Her answer amazed me. She said, "I got a lot out of the book and made copies of most of the pages, but I haven't applied it to my life yet".

With great restraint I said nothing. I wanted to yell WHAT! It just goes to show you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Her crowning comment came at the end of the meal when she suggested if my daughter and grandson ever moved away I should move with them. My reply was why? I am not tied to my children. Then it dawned on me that the big difference between my friend and I is her family totally consists of her grown children and grandchildren. My family consists of the entire universe.

That realization was worth the price of lunch!

Author's note: since this story was written my friend did sell her house and move to be with her "family". They may or may not be happy about that.

What box?

After re-reading yesterday's post regarding labels I found a past post, originally titled "out of the box", which seemed to also fit the subject. With some editing I decided to post it again. I hope it makes you laugh or think or something! That reminds me that I was once called an instigator. I took it as a compliment. Someone has to stir the pot once in a while. Perhaps that is my new title- pot stirrer!

If you have an impressive title following your name does it make you any more important than anyone else or does it just put you in a box with like people? Think about it.

Obviously some jobs generate more income than others. A small town doctor is not going to earn as much as a big town doctor who also adds a specialty. Those extra titles mean a lot financially, but in many cases the cost of obtaining it will never be repaid. There are a lot of unemployed college educated people out there who still have humongous school loans to pay off. Some of them no longer have jobs.

Titles are funny. When I had internet problems I asked the person I was communicating with to send a repairman a.s.a.p.. I was told that a technician would be sent. I got the same response when I had a furnace problem. Apparently there are no more repairmen. Trash collectors once picked up my garbage now they are sanitary engineers.

During my life I have had many titles, most of which did not generate much money. Experience is something right? My first title while still in high school was sales clerk followed by file clerk. Then the biggie came along; wife, now referred to as domestic engineer, mother, Cub Scout Den Mother, Mother Advisor for a youth organization, teacher's aide, costumer for a theater group, Avon Independent Representative, Independent Contractor for two marketing companies, Resource Development Coordinator, Recreational Aide,  Foster Grandparent for the school system and columnist.. Just look at all those titles! I am worn out just thinking about them

The variety of titles I have held probably don't mean much to most people and granted it would be too much to put on my grave marker, but they describe who I was and who I am. Job titles don't make me any better or any worse than anyone else.

My current self proclaimed job title is Motivational Writer and it allows me many hours of freedom to spend as much time as I choose doing whatever makes me happy. It also allows me to get out of the box built by others and be the me I came here to be.

By any other name

I have been thinking about human labels and wonder how much they contribute to who we are. From birth we are the only, oldest, middle or youngest child in our family. This label comes with its own set of statistics set up by humans who claim to know what they are talking about.

We are, generally speaking, born either male or female, which may not be true anymore. How we are supposed to act comes with a batch of statistics gathered from the learned. The colors we wear to the toys we play with are chosen for us, unless our parents break with tradition. There is also an ethnic label . God forbid if as a child your best friend happens to be of a different nationality, color or faith than you are. Even worse, what if you continue to be best friends and wind up marrying the person. What would the world think? Never fear you will be labeled.

As we go through school we acquire many new labels placed on us by teachers and peers. We can be labeled smart, slow, artistic, athletic, studious, class clown, nerd and yes even stupid just to name a few. Often these labels follow us for the rest of our lives until we look in our mirror and recognize who we really are.

The other day I found an article put out by the World Health Organization labeling age. After reading it I was angry with the details. 66 to 79 was considered middle age and 80 to 99 was labeled elderly or senior. My response was, "I might consider senior but there is no way in hell that I am elderly". This article prompted me to check into the question, how old is old?

I found a 2009 survey from the Pew Research Center that had some interesting information. Most adults over 50 said they feel at least 10 years younger than they are. 1/3 of  those 60-74 said they feel 10-19 years younger and 1/6 of people 75 and older felt 20 years younger than they were. People under 30 years of age generally thought old age starts at 60.

I found a quote regarding age from George Burns that I liked. "When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing the same things I did then and I am labeled senile."

A fortune cookie had this advice: old is 20 years older than you are.

My personal goal is to die young as old as possible. I want to live to be a healthy 100- at least.

Ghost or spirit?

For the last couple of days I have been thinking about the question; what is the difference between a ghost and a spirit? it isn't just idle curiosity. many of you know I have been taking pictures containing what I refer to as spirits for many years. I am also aware that there is a small group in town that is dealing with what they call ghosts.

I decided to google the question to see what would come up. It said a spirit exhibits positive energy and a ghost exhibits negative energy. That actually made sense to me. I also checked out the dictionary with less positive results. It said a spirit is life giving force, animating principles:soul. A ghost is the soul of a dead person. I found that to be a bunch of mumble jumble! 

My very first "spirit" picture was taken in 2001 in our local park. It was the image of a man and a woman who were clearly visible in the cement in front of a little bridge. What I found interesting about this picture was that my daughter's best friend and her step-father had previously walked over that very spot as they approached the gazebo for her wedding.

When the picture was developed and I realized what was in it I shared it with a friend who had more knowledge of such things than I did at the time. He asked me, "What does it tell you?" I answered, "That I was the one who was supposed to take that picture."

Since that day I have taken many pictures containing spirits and have come to believe that I was chosen as a messenger between them and the humans who still reside on earth. They have never tried to harm me and I have never thought of them as anything but positive energy. I do not seek them out they present themselves to me through my photographs..

I'm not sure what is going on with the ghost group. From what I understand they are seeking the ghosts. I know from my own experience that  this area is very spiritual so the whole thing is  interesting to me. I think I am going to let them deal with the ghosts and I will just stay with my friendly spirits.

One more chance

The start of a brand new year with another chance to get things right. Another chance to meet new people who just might take us in another direction. Life can get boring as we age and we forget that we do not have to stay where we are. Actually we are not even meant to stay where we are. If that were true there would be no point in our being here.

I have no idea what challenge this year holds for me but I am anxious to find out. So far I have survived 100% of everything the universe has given me. So there! All in all I think I am in pretty decent shape for eight decades and I am more than willing to go for two more. I just don't get people who say they are ready to give up. No matter what happens I am not in that group.

Happy first day of 2018!