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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Questions

Even though I have searched on Ancestry.com for relatives there are some questions I will probably never get answers to. It bugs me because there is nobody left who can give me the answers I am seeking. Perhaps the secrets of the past are supposed to remain secrets.

I found out as a teenager that my mother had been married before she married my father. According to my grandmother she was too immature to be a wife. That could have been a prejudiced opinion. That marriage does not show up on any records that I have found and I want to know the man's name and when they were married. I have no clue why I just do. He could have been my father.

The second question involves my maternal grandmother and her first husband, who died when my mother was a child. I found the mention of the fact on ancestry.com that they had a son in addition to my mother. There is no mention of a name for the child, which I find rather odd. My natural curiosity wants to know- what the heck? Why doesn't the child have a name? Was it stillborn? Was it given away for adoption? Was my biological grandfather even the father? Apparently I will never know the answer to those questions and it bugs me. That child was my maternal uncle.

It reminds me of an experience when my daughter was young. We were looking through some pictures and found one of my first wedding. Oops! I had not mentioned that I had been married before or that her brothers were half brothers. I wasn't intending to hide anything. It just never came up. The boys were 18 and 13 when she was born. Another interesting fact to this paragraph is that my first husband had also been married before and had a daughter, who would be a half sister to our two sons. I have no idea who she is, where she is or what her name is now. All I know is that her mother's maiden name was Wheeler and she lived in Seattle, Washington..

I guess stuff happens that gets buried if nobody asks questions. The intention is not always to hide the facts, but the facts are still important and can cause anxiety to future generations.

Perhaps the lesson is keep asking questions before it is too late.





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