positive support

Today I would like to do something just a little different. I am sharing a post that came through my Facebook newsfeed this morning. It reminded me of my own experience and the reason I settled for becoming a stay at home mom instead of pursuing a career or higher education after high school graduation. Putting it simply I had no support and therefore lacked belief in myself. Here is the post:

Two months ago was the first time I cried during parent/teacher conferences. A mom of a student who I have taught for two years showed up at my table with a list of her daughter’s teachers. Each one had “yes” or “no” written next to it. My name had a “yes” next to it, so she proceeded to explain to me the reason for her daughter’s extended absence. Her daughter- a friendly, intelligent, beautiful, driven, young woman- not only planned to commit suicide, but was in the act of doing so when the police got a Safe 2 Tell report, broke in, and stopped her. She had deleted her social media accounts and left goodbye letters; she was ready to leave the world. As her mom sat across from me, we both had tears streaming down our faces. Feeling helpless, I asked if I could write my student a letter to be delivered to her at the hospital; she said her daughter would love that. My student got the letter; her mom said that her daughter cried, turned to her mom and said, “How could somebody say such nice things about me? I didn’t think anybody would miss me if I was gone.” It made me realize that I was way too close to losing another student to suicide. I spent the next 2 months writing cards to every one of my students- over 100 of them- telling each one what is special and unique about them. Suicide is growing to be more and more common, and I can’t help but to think that it’s a direct result of the pressure we put on these kids- to be successful, to fit in, to be the best in their class/sport/etc. We need to remember that each human being is unique, and that is what makes them special. Instead of trying to change it, we need to embrace it, because together, we can make a difference, and we can save lives! ‪#‎suicideawareness‬

If you have the means to help a child's self esteem grow- DO IT!

60 years are you serious?

Tomorrow my youngest grandchild graduates from mid school on his way to high school and a world of new experiences. It seems like yesterday that I was holding him in my arms for the first time. He has grown into a fantastic young man that I am very proud of. Can't wait to see what happens when he graduates from high school in 2020.

 His graduation made me think of my graduation in 1956 from Roosevelt High School in Seattle, Washington. The only family who attended were my mother and my maternal grandmother. I have a rather unusual memory of the actual ceremony, which probably only my female readers will appreciate. My class wore white graduation robes. I had just started my period and I was scared to get up from my seat and walk to the stage to receive my diploma. Need I say more ladies?

In the 60 years since that day a lot has happened in my life, even though I ended up being a stay at home mom. My first child was born on Christmas morning 1960, my second February 1966 and my last August 1979. Since then 4 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren have been added.

In all that time I moved from Seattle, Wash to California and on to New Mexico. I haven't really seen much of the rest of the country. Perhaps I am waiting for a really interesting traveling partner who has not shown up yet. Speaking of partners, I forgot to mention the two men I was married to for a total of 40 years. Both gone and I am trying hard to forget and move on. It's not that I do not want a man in my life. I know some really nice men, but they are already spoken for- darn.

Anyway I have had a lot of interesting experiences in those 60 years since my high school graduation. It has been a long journey, but it isn't over yet!

It's the thought that counts

For Mothers Day this year my son decided to present me with the unusual gift of a new kitchen faucet. I'm serious! Just what every mother wants right? I guess it's the thought that counts.

 I have two other children who don't even communicate let alone give me gifts on Mothers Day or any other day, so I am grateful for the only one who cares.

When my son had time he took apart the old faucet and tried to connect the new one, but there was a problem. My pipes are so old that they are an odd size and didn't connect right. He needed a fitting not available in our small town to make it work. The old faucet went back on and the new one went back in its box waiting for a connection.

Yesterday he made a trip to Albuquerque to buy what he needed to complete the job. It took all day and four different Home Depot stores to get the fittings etc. that he thought he needed. Last night he removed the old faucet once again. Attached the fittings and cut off the pipe to the length he needed to finish the job.

Next he told me to turn the water back on. NO TURN IT OFF!

Water was going everywhere. The fitting wasn't the right size to fit tight enough. Apparently the pipe does not measure the same inside as it does outside.

Next he made another trip to our local Walmart to see if he could get something to solve the problem. He came back with a sealant that was supposed to work. He applied it and we waited the suggested hour before turning the water on.

When the time was up he told me to turn the water back on. I reluctantly followed his instructions and said a little prayer because he had already cut the old pipe and could no longer attach the old faucet.. Again he yelled TURN IT OFF!

This morning he is taking the pieces to a local store and making another try to get what he needs to make my Mothers Day gift of a new faucet work. I also have a call in to a plumber who probably won't get back to me until Monday. In the meantime we have no water.

I'm trying to keep in mind that its the thought that counts.
  

Are you sending me a sign?

For the last couple of weeks my yard  has been bursting with color and a very sweet scent. Purple and white lilacs and purple iris, most of which have not bloomed for several years, have begun sprouting blossoms. Today I discovered a whole row of purple lilacs along the west side of my house that I had no idea were in bloom.

Taking in this amazing sight caused me to wonder if the Universe is sending me a message that I am not getting. Thinking back in my spiritual journey I remembered a book by Betty Bethards titled The Dream Book. In the past I not only used it to explain dreams, but also to look up things that keep popping up to the point that I can't ignore them.

First I looked up flowers.The unfolding of flowers is a sign of good growth, a direction of beauty and fulfillment. The completion of a goal; a time of great achievement.

Then I tried looking up the specific flower, but that didn't work. So I went on to colors- success!

Since most were purple I started with that. It means wisdom, knowledge, divine protection.

The words divine protection got my immediate attention as the flowers were blooming all around my house, almost like a guard on the East, West, North and South.

Since there were some white lilacs mixed in I checked that out too. White means truth and purity.

I don't know about my readers, but I believe I found the message the Universe is sending me.

In case you have trouble believing here are a few of the beautiful blooms that are adorning my yard.

The journey of motherhood

Today is the day set aside to honor mothers. If it weren't for our mothers none of us would be here. Babies do not come with a set of instructions. It's pretty much play it by ear. The relationship is not always great and sometimes children grow up blaming their mothers for everything that is wrong in their life. You have to blame someone I guess and when you aren't strong enough to take on the responsibility yourself, your mother is your best shot.

My motherhood journey began on Christmas day, 1960 in Seattle, Washington and went on to add a second son on February 20, 1966 in the same State. Moving on to New Mexico, the last of my brood was added on August 31, 1979 with the birth of a daughter. Those children have continued their own journey, adding four grandchildren and two great grandchildren. All because I became a mother in 1960.

 
Whether they appreciate the fact that if it were not for me they wouldn't be here is not important. It only matters that I appreciate the fact that if it were not for them I wouldn't be a mother.

Happy Mother's Day!

Is that a green light?

After waiting three months for my appointment with a spine specialist to see why I have a problem with sore muscles in my leg it finally happened yesterday. Checking recent xrays and after completing an exam he concluded that I have a really good physical therapist. His advice was to keep doing what I was told as far as exercises etc. and things will eventually improve.

At one point he said to bend over and touch my toes. I responded, "Can I?" He said, "I am telling you to."

Although it provided a spark of humor, I meant I didn't know it was a movement I was allowed to do since my hip surgery. Apparently I have no more excuses for not doing things.

I love it when all of my health people are on the same page and give me a green light to live my life.

A reminder of the past

Tonight my grandson and I are going to take a family tour of Corrections Corporation of America, which is the women's prison here in Grants, NM. It is also the only prison for women in New Mexico. Currently my oldest son and daughter are both case managers at the facility. My grandson and I took this tour about 12 years ago when he was about two years. I'm sure he will have a different view this time

 The tour reminded me that several years ago I did an interview for my column in the Cibola Beacon with a woman who was then the disciplinary officer for the prison. I want to share some of her comments with my readers. The following is an excerpt from that article.

Her job includes investigating staff reported incidents of inmates breaking the facility rules. A hearing follows. Minor incidents might include directly disobeying an order or not showing up for a work assignment. Major violations are assault and fraud.

Penalties include loss of privileges or segregation. Lacy enjoys the interaction with inmates and always gives them respect.

She stated, "I do not care why they are here, it is not why I am here."

She tries to make a difference in the attitude of the inmates by explaining how their actions affect others. She would like to see everyone come out better then they went in.

CCA offers many educational opportunities for both employees and inmates. In addition to correction officers there is an administrative staff, support staff, counselors, program and education staff and also a chaplain.

Although this employee is no longer with CCA I wanted to give you an idea of the workings of the facility. I am looking forward to my tour tonight.

Everything happens in its own time

It looks as if the universe has gone out of its way to prove that to me. Patience has never been one of my big things, but today I might have to change my mind.

In 1980 we moved our mobile home from New Laguna, New Mexico about 30 miles west to the town of Grants. We decided to transplant some of the plants from our former yard because there was nothing but dirt on the new property. We also put in some trees. Some of the plants were purple lilacs, which we used to add interest to the new chain link fence we had installed. There was one white lilac that was planted by itself on the side of the house. They are all still alive.

I was amazed a couple of years ago when one we had later moved began to bloom and it turned out to be while.

Since 1980 there has been one little lilac bush in a flower bed alongside the driveway that is still alive, has never grown past about two feet tall and has never ever bloomed, that is until now.

Apparently when you leave things alone stuff will happen in its own time. I knew that- sort of!