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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dealing with loss

This morning was the last time my writing group, Write On People, will meet until 2013. The chosen topic was, "Dealing with loss". It has been a touchy subject lately and it was difficult for some members to write about. I know I put off writing my piece as long as I could, but I was happy with the finished product and would like to share my thoughts with my readers.

Dealing with loss
Any loss marks the end of something and makes room for the beginning of something else. Because I know that everything in life is temporary I try to enjoy the good for it will not last forever; and if things are going bad I try to remember that they will not last forever either.

To be honest, my first reaction to loss is usually anger, together with the feeling that I didn't deserve the injustice. That's just the ego speaking loud and clear. I am a really nice person and everything is supposed to be perfect in my life- right? Wrong! If everything were perfect I would never learn a thing.

Although I have never experienced devastating loss such as the death of a child or the loss my home due to a fire or natural disaster I can feel compassion for those who have and express gratitude that those experiences were not on my path.

A period of grief is necessary to get past any loss, learn the lesson it brought and move on. When my mother died I never had a chance to speak to her and smooth out any remaining difficulties. She did not want a service of any kind and I followed her wishes. Instead, I cleaned out her apartment and took care of the remaining details of her life. Even though I believe we do not literally die, if I had it to do over I would at least have a memorial service. My daughter, who was 8 at the time, observed, "One day she was here and the next she wasn't."

I think relationship and material losses have most often brought about positive changes in my life. After I got over the anger I usually saw that the loss was for my highest good. Sometimes this took years to happen. The process caused me to realize that the attachment needed to come to an end so that I could believe in myself and my own ability to grow and succeed.

While surfing the Web regarding dealing with loss I found a very simple suggestion that I want to share. While inhaling think let it happen and while exhaling think let it go. I was surprised to find out it really works and can also be used for stress.

As I look back over the last year I can list a number of personal experiences dealing with loss in all
forms. At the time they were happening I didn't believe I had the strength to cope with them and I had nobody to help me, which made things even worse. I not only coped, but I learned that I can handle anything God and the Universe decide to throw at me.

So if the world comes to an end tomorrow, December 21, as some fear, it will not be a great loss for me. I have done my best to live my life and I am happy with the outcome.


  1. You thrive instead of survive....very well written!!! Bravo!