Time to let go

If you live long enough stuff happens to change your life direction. Time marches on and you are not the same person you used to be. 

In 2010 I finished an E-book titled Journey of an Enlightened Egotist and offered it on Amazon. It’s still there although it hasn’t received much attention. I have given more copies away than I have sold, but that’s alright because I don’t believe it was written as a money maker. It was written to share my journey in the hopes that it could help someone else. I have been told by several readers that it has accomplished that purpose. As I said, that book was finished six years ago and I thought it was the end. I was wrong it was the beginning of things I didn’t know were going to happen.

I have in the past admitted that I was a control freak. I thought I needed to be in charge of everything in my world. Someone once told me that I didn’t have to carry the weight of the universe on my shoulders. I grew up thinking it was my job to fix whatever I thought was wrong, especially if it was a relationship. 

On June 13^th, 2014 I offered to share my home with my oldest son, who was retired military and about to lose his house and everything he had worked for. After he moved in it was another four months before he found a job as a Case Manager in our women’s prison. The move was not meant to be forever and it appears that he may be moving on to another state soon. He is not happy living in our little town and feels that he gets passed over for promotions at work. Jobs are given to people from other prisons and to those who really are not qualified to do the work. I don’t blame him for wanting to move on. Sometimes the attitude in this town is it isn't what you know, but who you know.

As I think about the last two years I realize it was an opportunity for both of us to grow. Fourteen months after my son moved in I found out I needed a hip replacement. For the first time in my life I also needed help to do simple things around the house. It was really nice to have that help available. During that time I also learned to be more accepting of another person’s way of doing things. My son and I both learned to help each other while giving the other space. 

I no longer have the need to fix problems that are not mine. It is time to let go of control and just focus on my needs and interests. Time does march on and it gives us opportunities to grow and learn new things.