If you live long enough stuff happens to change your life
direction. Time marches on and you are not the same person you used to be.
In 2010 I finished an E-book titled Journey of an Enlightened Egotist and offered it on Amazon. It’s
still there although it hasn’t received much attention. I have given more
copies away than I have sold, but that’s alright because I don’t believe it was
written as a money maker. It was written to share my journey in the hopes that
it could help someone else. I have been told by several readers that it has
accomplished that purpose. As I said, that book was finished six years ago and
I thought it was the end. I was wrong it was the beginning of things I didn’t
know were going to happen.
I have in the past admitted that I was a control freak. I
thought I needed to be in charge of everything in my world. Someone once told
me that I didn’t have to carry the weight of the universe on my shoulders. I
grew up thinking it was my job to fix whatever I thought was wrong, especially
if it was a relationship.
On June 13th, 2014 I offered to share my home
with my oldest son, who was retired military and about to lose his house and
everything he had worked for. After he moved in it was another four months
before he found a job as a Case Manager in our women’s prison. The move was not
meant to be forever and it appears that he may be moving on to another state
soon. He is not happy living in our little town and feels that he gets passed
over for promotions at work. Jobs are given to people from other prisons and to
those who really are not qualified to do the work. I don’t blame him for
wanting to move on. Sometimes the attitude in this town is it isn't what you know, but who you know.
As I think about the last two years I realize it was an
opportunity for both of us to grow. Fourteen months after my son moved in I
found out I needed a hip replacement. For the first time in my life I also needed
help to do simple things around the house. It was really nice to have that help
available. During that time I also learned to be more accepting of another
person’s way of doing things. My son and I both learned to help each other
while giving the other space.
I no longer have the need to fix problems that are not mine.
It is time to let go of control and just focus on my needs and interests. Time
does march on and it gives us opportunities to grow and learn new things.
I think letting go is a life-long adventure, Barbara. Good on ya for continuing the journey.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the time with your son was exactly what the Universe ordered for both of you. Amazing how that works, isn't it?
Great post!
Yes it has been nice having him here, but he needs to get on with his own life. And so do I! :)
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