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Sunday, July 31, 2016

Drop it and see what happens

My son and I stopped by to visit my ex who is now a resident of our local nursing home. In examining my feelings about the situation I am happy that there are no negative emotions left. What has happened was supposed to happen and is the direct result of how we have chosen to live our lives.

As I looked around his small living space I felt bad that it looked like an empty closet, except for his TV set. I have in the past visited several other residents and I know that they are allowed to bring in cherished possessions. I mentioned this fact to him and he said, "it's hard to decide what to keep".

Later in the day I thought about when his parents were residents of nursing homes and wondered if there was anything I could take him that would make his life a little happier and not take up too much room. In making this decision I asked myself what was most important to him. My answer was our daughter and our youngest grandson.

I couldn't move them in, but I could take pictures. I selected two that I thought he would appreciate and  framed them. I will be dropping them off today. It's not a big deal, but maybe it will make him a little happier.

Lately I have been thinking about my escape from earth (we are all going to experience that sometime). I have decided to purchase a pre-paid cremation policy so that when the time comes it will be a clean transition and will not be a burden to anyone else. I have checked out several facilities and settled on Cremation Society of New Mexico. I don't feel comfortable taking care of it online so I have an appointment to finalize the purchase in person. I have questions that require answers.

Sometimes things happen that just make me laugh. One of those things happened during my visit with my ex yesterday.

Out of the blue he shared, "When I was working I bought stock that I now want to sell. The policy is in both of our names and I need you to sign the paperwork". I jokingly replied, "If I sign it how much do I get?" He said, "Half." I said, "Are you serious?"

The part that really made me laugh is that my half will pay for the cremation policy I am going to purchase. Is someone looking over my shoulder? For the last several years I have had money put aside for burial purposes and now, well it looks like I can do something else with that money.

The first picture I choose was taken in 2010 of our daughter, son-in-law and grandson.

The second was one I swiped from our grandson's FB wall last fall. He is the one in white.

Both pictures made the recipient very happy, which made me happy too!


  1. How sweet, Barbara. It's nice to do something for someone when you don't know what you'll get in return, if anything. And to find out that you have your cremation paid for! That's awesome and then some. The photo of your daughter, son-in-law and grandson is great, as is the one on the soccer field.

    Got a question for you: If the recipient had not been happy with the gifts, would you still have been happy?

    Thanks for another great post!

  2. Good question Lois and the answer is yes I would have still been happy because I followed my guidance and attempted to do what I thought was something nice for someone else. His positive reaction was a bonus.