The dream

I don't often remember dreams, but one I had early this morning remained clear in my memory long after I woke up. Since then I have been trying to decide what it meant.

I clearly saw myself coming home to find that I had been evicted. It was a little odd as I own my home and haven't lived in an apartment for many years. I have never been evicted but I did experience Welfare for a brief time after my divorce from my first husband of 13 years who was a first class womanizer. Being responsible for two children on a low paying job I had no choice. Thank God that part of my life passed.

Anyway, back to the dream. I am aware that dreams are usually meant to send us a message from another place. At first I interpreted this one as negative, but I believe I was wrong. Perhaps it was encouraging me to continue on my current path to remove "dead" things from my life and move on to a better place.

Six months ago my house looked much different than it does today. Most of the floor coverings have been replaced, there is a new oven and cook top in my kitchen and a 30 year old malfunctioning septic tank leach line has been replaced. That last project did leave my back yard rather bare except for three trees that were saved. Perhaps it's time to start over.

There are still a few miscellaneous projects to do like replacing an original toilet with a low flow one to save water, but for the most part I seem to be on the right track. Maybe the dream was simply an encouragement to keep going on my current path. It is a long way from where I was in1972 when I decided I wanted to get rid of the BS that was messing up my life.

The best part is that I am debt free and I love the way my house looks.

An olive branch

You can offer an olive branch to someone, but whether or not the gift is accepted or acknowledged is not up to you. It doesn't even have anything to do with you. It has everything to do with the recipient.

Some people do not have the ability to forgive and prefer to live in the past. It is a sad place to reside and is often filled with negative energy. I remember a long ago message from Rev. Mary Morrisey about dragging Harry behind. At the time the image was funny, but it really isn't.

I also remember a message of my own from years past which was, once a gift is given it no longer belongs to the giver.

Considering myself a nice person I have the tendency to believe that everyone thinks as I do. That couldn't be more wrong and it gets me into a whole lot of trouble and causes me to hang on to negative energy long after the fact.

It would be a really boring world if everyone thought and acted exactly alike.

I am going to keep on offering an olive branch when I have the opportunity with the hope that it will be accepted. If not, well that's life isn't it?

 
                                                                  

An evaluation

A couple of weeks ago I agreed to check out our local family counseling center, partly to make my PA happy. At least that made him laugh. I have been trying unsuccessfully to deal with some issues that are causing anxiety problems. I had an evaluation appointment recently and as I was looking over the results I wondered if the person who was conducting the meeting was even listening to what I said. I have an excellent memory and know how I answered her questions.

One of the answers that bugged me was when she asked what would my friends say about me. My answer was, that I am honest and loyal. Her answer was that I am a good writer. Well I am, but that's not what I said.

Another difference in answers occurred when she asked how many hours of sleep I get at night. I explained that because of new blood pressure medication I am taking every 8 hours I have to wake up to take it. Also because of back problems I sometimes have leg cramps. What she wrote was,"I will know I am ready for discharge when I am sleeping through the night." Excuse me?!

My long term objective according to her is to be sleeping well, be less anxious and have a good relationship with my daughter. That last part is never going to happen. My daughter decided over seven years ago that she wants nothing more to do with me. I have decided to grant her wish and stop trying to have a relationship with her. The effort was much like hitting my head against a stone wall thinking it would eventually feel better. I'm not doing that anymore.

The question that I had to think the most about was, "What was the happiest time in your life." I finally answered, "when I found out my 3rd child was a girl, after having two boys."

There was one question I wish I had answered differently and that was, "Where do you see your life in five years?" My answer was, "I have a book I would like to get published." If I could change that answer it would be, " I would like to have a mate who understands me."

I had to laugh when in conclusion I was told, "You aren't depressed." No kidding! Who said I was?

Whether or not counseling sessions will help me is yet to be determined. I'll check back with you later on that one.

literally speaking

Two months ago a new blood pressure medication was added to what I was already taking. It replaced a beta blocker that was keeping my pulse way too low. According to the instructions it was to be taken three times a day. That's where the problem began. A friend suggested I take it at 6:00 AM, 2:00 PM and 10:00 PM. The other problem was that I was supposed to take it with food.

Before I began following her suggestion I had been getting up around 6:45 and taking my regular BP medication. No problem.

For two months I set my alarm for 6:00 AM so I would wake up and take the new medication. I even bought a new alarm clock, which I unfortunately can barely hear the beep beep of the alarm on. I also cut a banana in half and put it in a plastic bag so I had something to eat with the pill. I always tried to go back to sleep after the procedure but I usually couldn't. I was cheating myself out of sleep

Yesterday morning I had a doctor's appointment and was complaining about having to follow this new plan. The response I heard was, "You don't have to get up to take a pill. An hour isn't going to make a difference. Just take it when you get up."

Oh!!

This morning that is exactly what I did. I got up at 6:45 AM took all of my medication and ate a whole banana. I also slept better not having to worry about whether I would hear the alarm or not. I didn't even set the alarm!

Checking the prescription container yesterday I noticed it never said take every eight hours. It said take three times a day. A lot of stress that I caused myself for two months could have been avoided if I had not taken things so literally and not listened to my friend.

Doing good

Due to renovations etc.this has been the most expensive month since my divorce 19 years ago and I survived! As I look around I ask myself, "did you do that?" Well yes I did, and I am proud of myself for not having to go into debt.

This month also offered an opportunity to give my older grandchildren and youngest child items from the past. I decided I didn't want to wait until I am dead and have relatives fight over things. My daughter received a beautiful glass necklace that had belonged to her paternal grandmother. There was no doubt in my mind that I was supposed to give it to her. My granddaughters received jewelry that I believe belonged to my maternal grandmother. My oldest grandson received an ivory letter opener featuring an etching by his great great great uncle. I wanted them to have something from my side of the family.

Not one of the previously mentioned souls had the decency to even acknowledge what they had received.

On the other hand out of all the Valentine cards I sent this year my youngest grandson was the only one who said, "thank you grandma I loved it!"

Thank you Colin you did good!

Sometimes less is more

This Valentine's Day brought back a long ago memory that still makes me smile.

I was in our local Hallmark store when a young man I didn't know approached me with a question. He wanted my opinion about what to give his girlfriend for a Valentine gift.

Without hesitation I told him, a single rose and a stuffed animal.

I believe he followed through with my suggestion and I hope his girlfriend loved what he gave her.

Sometimes less is more!

What a life!!

So far this has been an interesting few days. It pretty much began last week when I discovered I had a problem with my septic tank. It took over $300 dollars and several people to find the stupid thing. Then it cost another $200 to have it pumped only to find out I need a new leach line, which will run around $4,000. The person who will do that is not available for another week and a half. In the meantime I have been told to use as little water as possible. 2/17/18 should end my water problems at least it had better!

At the moment I have two male beings ripping out the very old carpet in the dinning room to install vinyl. Tomorrow they will return to replace the again very old carpet in the adjacent living room. This is running around $900 which I luckily had already set aside.Hopefully no more sneezing!

My poor dog is extremely confused. If he could talk he would ask, "What are these people doing in my house?" "They better not touch my toys!"

By next week all the excitement should be gone and perhaps I can get back to a normal life, whatever that is!