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Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Let it be

Endings seem to be on my mind, reading over my last few posts. Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end, making room for something new. Two things cannot occupy the same space. Yesterday I shared something that came across my Facebook news feed and now I want to share it with my readers because I see how important it is to change direction.

For years I have tried and tried to let go of negative people and experiences in my past life. Nothing worked and I thought, "what the hell is wrong with me?" It's in the past just let it go! Nope nothing worked until I read these words- "let it be". They changed my attitude about a lot of things.

In this little town I live in I have acquired a very good reputation for honesty and dependability. Even those who do not like me know that if I agree to do something I will do it, even if I change my mind later. 

Yesterday was also the day my ex-husband chose to leave his body behind. It was pretty much worn out from the experiences he decided to drag it through. He has to be much happier now. We had been married for 27 years and divorced for 17. Our relationship had been better in the last few years than it ever was during our marriage. I did give him something no one else had been able to do during his human life. I gave him a child of his own. I thought being a father would inspire him to choose a healthier life, but it never did and he ended up paying for his choice. More than once in the last few hours I have thought of the words "until death do us part" and have felt a wave of freedom to move on with my life.

I know his biological family, including our daughter, do not understand my feelings, but that is their problem, not mine. I am going to allow what is supposed to happen to do so and use the words "let it be" as my mantra.

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