Now

I found a quote on Facebook that caused me to think about it, as a former friend would say. It was, "Trust where life is taking you; do not interfere with your "now".

I began thinking about my now. I am sitting at my computer, in my pajamas, sipping a cup of coffee.I have already done some exercises, trying to keep myself as fit as possible, for my 83 years of life.Other than that, where am I now?

I seem to be in a waiting mode. I am waiting for an appointment in the morning, waiting for a new washing machine to be delivered on Monday, waiting for my second virus shot on April 6th, so I can be fully vaccinated, waiting for my son to have time to help publish my latest book on Amazon, waiting for the weather to improve to rake up the leaves from last fall, waiting for my stimulus check to arrive, waiting for my family to notice that I am still alive.

Guess I could say I am a person in waiting. One who is not truly living today. I wonder how many other people are also living in that space? 

It seems many of us, especially in the last year, are waiting for things to get better. It appears I need to stop doing that and live in the present as author, Eckhart Tolle, suggests.  

The door

I have a question that I don't have the answer to. I would like to know why Fedex drivers put their deliveries right in front of the front door. I have a heavy screen door that opens out. I wonder how these idiots think I am going to retrieve a box put in front of it. Lucky that I also have a back door.

Monday Fedex is delivering a new washing machine coming from Florida. I wonder, are they going to try to put that on my front porch, right in front of the door?

I just don't understand their thinking. UPS drivers don't do this. Mine always rings the doorbell if I don't notice the truck. He either hands me the package or if it is big asks me where to put it. He never ever puts it in front of the door.

I did good

I just realized this morning that it has been 22 years since I ended a 40 year nicotine habit. That's a wonderful accomplishment!

Lately I have been hearing doctors urging people to quit smoking because it causes lung problems if they get the virus. That makes sense since the virus is a lung disease. 

If I could end a 40 year habit in one day so can you!! I used hypnosis and have never been sorry that I did. In 22 years I have never once been tempted to pick up a cigarette and put it in my mouth. Although the hypnotist was a bit odd and many people had negative things to say about him, I am grateful that he was put in my life to help me end a negative habit I hated in the first place.  

Why?

This morning I am wondering why nobody bothers to comment on my blog. I can clearly see that I have people who read it. Any writer will tell you that feedback is important. I am wondering, do I continue to write for ghosts or do I just give up and close this blog?

 

The most precious gift

Since today is the day our clocks move forward once again I want to share something I wrote, as a challenge, in 2000. It is titled "The Most Precious Gift".

If you are alive and breathing, whoever you are, whatever your origin, sex, or age, there is a gift you share with everyone, whether you want to or not. This gift is invisible, has no scent, makes no noise, and can't be touched or tasted. It is the most precious gift you have and without it you would cease to be. 

We all have an equal amount, no matter where we live, how much money we make, whether we are dependent or independent. Neither a high I.Q. nor a high paying job grants anyone more of this gift than anyone else. It can't be loaned, bought or stolen from another. We all have 1,440 minutes of time each day we spend on this plant. How we choose to use thes minutes is an individual decision. We are not born with a road map or a list of rules. Good or bad, the choice is up to us. Nobody can make it for us.

It is interesting how many people with titles sometimes assume their time is more valuable than those without. Adults often think their time is more important than children's. simply because they are adults, and therefore deserve more attention. Nationality, tradition and training has taught some men that their time is much more valuable than a women's. If the world ended right now, none of us would have time left to worry about it.

Every moment of every day we all have the opportunity to help others by sharing a part of ourselves with everyone we come in contact with. If we realized time could run out right now, maybe we would find the time to be kinder o each other, to smile more, say thank you, share a thought, or help another. Wouldn't it be wonderful to spend every moment celebrating that we have it, instead of worrying and fretting about things we don't have and probasbly don't need anyway? How we decide to use our allotted time is far more important than who our parents were or how many material things we feel we need to be happy. We can choose to be negatives, bitter and hateful or positive, grateful and loving, taking all opportunities to help others help themselves.

Barbara Loure` Gunn, 2000

Words matter

 I keep thinking of the Meghan & Harry interview and the fact that when their son was born someone in the family asked how dark was his skin. I had a similar experience when my second son was born, My mother wanted to know what color he was. Seriously!!

As far as I know the father of both of my sons was white. My mother had a problem with the fact that his mother was born in the British West Indies and therefore he must have "black" blood. How I grew up without being prejudiced I really do not know!!

One down

I had my first inoculation yesterday. I was impressed with how organized Presbyterian Medical was. The staff in charge were very friendly and answered all questions from the participants. It was a little annoying that the first step was answering questions on a four page document, but I suppose it was necessary. We were all given an appointment card to get the second shot, which answered one of the questions I had, and didn't have to ask.

After waiting the required 15 minutes, to see if any side affects developed, we were escorted out of the building through whatever door was closest to where we parked. I have been using this provider for 30 years and still get confused how to exit, since the renovation of the building, a couple of years ago. 

This morning my arm is slightly sore, but that is pretty much all that is different.

If I hadn't got that call asking if I wanted the vaccine I probably would not have realized it was time. I had been holding off because I was waiting to see if it was safe. As I have said before, I had mixed feelings regarding the subject. 

This morning I also realized I am tired of hiding from the world. If getting the vaccine is going to allow me to mingle at large, without fear, it is time to move on. I have friends who still won't make that move, but that is their right and there decision.

A thought to ponder

Sitting here this morning thinking about the fact that I have had a slight pain in my ear for the last two mornings. A thought just came up- is it somehow a reminder of an experience I had as a child. It quite possibly is. After having a successful mastoid operation I was given repeated injections of penicillin, which had just begun to be used in the United States. I was later told that it most likely saved my life.

Interestingly, this vaccine that I have agreed to have in a few days, has only recently been developed. I wonder, could it be that for the second time in my life a newly discovered vaccine will prolong my life? I have known for some time that there are no coincidences.

Joining the crowd

I have been holding off getting the virus inoculation for months. I wasn't 100% for it or against it. I just hadn't made up my mind yet. Was it enough to wear a mask and pretty much stay home I wondered? My son, who lives with me, had his two shots not too long ago because of where he works. That made me feel a bit safer.

Yesterday someone from my doctor's office called and asked me if I wanted the shot. After discussing the question with the person I agreed to set up an appointment for next Tuesday. One of the things that had been holding me back was the long lines I had seen on TV. Since I can just go to my provider, with an appointment, I won't have to deal with that. 

I was instructed to go to New Mexico department of health on my computer and register, making sure I was given a code number. Done. My provider had already set up an appointment. Ready or not, I guess I will join the crowd on Tuesday.

Looking up

 It appears that New Mexico is doing a good job standing up to covid-19. It's still here and will be for some time, but the numbers are coming down. I believe it is at least partly due to the strict guidelines the governor is setting. Many people don't like her and that's too bad. It looks like our state is doing alright.

Ancestry.com-yes or no?

I have been a member of Ancestry.com for several years and today I have mixed feelings about it. Yes, it has connected me with cousins I didn't know I had and that has led to a positive experience, for the most part. It even recently connected me with someone who is supposed to be my niece. She enlisted the help of a genealogist who claims my deceased brother is her biological father. Interestingly, relatives on both sides of my family have been shown as verified on her tree, except for my brother!? She still lists him as her biological father. Something is amiss with this information!

About three years ago a woman, by the name of Dana Stocks, showed up as a first cousin- really? My grandmother had a son who was given up for adoption (my grandfather was not the father). Ms. Stocks claims she is the daughter of that baby and has created a family tree to prove it. She has even used my family pictures. I was ready to accept that fact until she and a friend of hers decided to share the information, rather rudely, on Facebook. That ended any desire I had to associate with her or claim her as a relative. I have also come to believe that her father was the result of an incest relationship. Can't prove it, of course, but that is my opinion and I am sticking to it.

About that time, a male cousin showed up, who had also been given up for adoption as a baby. I had never heard of this person, but he asked me to see if I could find out who his biological father was. I did a little investigating and did find that person, now deceased. My cousin was probably the result of an affair that his father had, but at least I found his name. This information was kept between us and I have totally accepted this man as my cousin.

So all kinds of strange things show up on Ancestry.com. Some of them true, some not. My daughter for instance, has many things on her family tree that are incorrect, but she refuses to change them. The facts are only as true as what the members add. 

In my own experience, Ancestry.com is a yes and a no. When my subscription runs out I doubt if I will renew it.