Speaking out

Because I will soon be forming a new local writing group I have been looking through my archives to get ideas of what worked and didn't work last time. First of all the place I have been offered to house the group holds many memories for me. I was once asked by a previous owner, "Why would you want to be where you are not welcome?" Today I have one comment to make to that person.

One of the files I was looking through this morning brought back many other memories, most of them positive. In the poem section I found a copy of a poem I have loved since I was in high school. It was written by Edwin Markham 1852-1940.

He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win,
We drew a circle that took him in.

In the song section I found a copy of the lyrics to my all time favorite song by the Carpenters, For All We Know.

Love look at the two of us
Strangers in many ways
We've got a lifetime to share
So much to say
And as we go from day to day
I'll feel you close to me
But time alone will tell
Let's take a lifetime to say
I knew you well
For only time will tell us so
And love may grow for all we know.

Another section was labeled my tidbits and a copy of a previous blog post popped up to get my attention. It was written 5/7/13 and was titled "Manifesting a (my) voice". I decided to rewrite it with a little editing for brevity.

I had apparently been following an astrological website called the Psychic Whisperer. Quoting information about new moon/solar eclipses it said, "Eclipses mark times of cosmic redirection and energy shifts. Something we have been working on, learning about or struggling with comes to an end at a lunar eclipse. It marks the end of a 19 year cycle relating to issues of self worth and values"

The suggestion at the end of the article was to look back to May 1994 and see what was beginning to be manifested. Here comes the fun part! I tried to remember what I was doing back in 1994, but somehow stumbled over 2004. Math has never been my strong point.Then I remembered I had been keeping a scrap book of sorts of important things that have happened in my life in recent years. You can imagine my amazement when I noted that the cover of the book read 1994-2011

The very first thing in the book, after a brief bio, is a page sharing my very first published work as an author- yup it was published in the spring of 1994. I wasn't prepared for that little flash from the past. I began flipping through the very full book, which reminded me of all the milestones I have lived through. When I had finished I saw a person who was born to express their self through writing and community service.

Until the spring of 1994 I had lived my life through others; I was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a friend/acquaintance. I was always attached to someone else and found it safer to hide behind those people. I never gave myself a chance to just be me all by myself and quite frankly nobody ever pushed me to find my true self.

Apparently someone, consciously unknown to me, gave me the push/shove I needed to begin the journey of manifesting my voice. Until then, few, including me, had ever cared to take the time to really see me or hear my voice. For those people I have the following message.

What is even stranger is that my life began to drastically change for the better in 1999, almost exactly 19 years ago! It was when I dumped the negative aspects from my life that had been keeping me from manifesting my voice.