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Friday, October 28, 2011

Temporarily Confused

I am beginning to wonder if while I was in the hospital for two weeks the rest of the world suddenly went crazy. Everything is falling apart and it seems to me that the entire world is dysfunctional, arguing and generally pissed off. Even with the negative experience I just survived I am happy. What's going on with the rest of the world?

It is not unusual for me to be out of step with my peers. That has been the story of my life and I have now accepted it as God's little joke. At an age when most women become grand mothers I had another kid. That started an avalanche I have not been able to stop. For the last thirty years I have had trouble convincing people that I am as old as I am. I guess I could start lying but then my 50 year old son would have to find another mother or lie about his age. It just isn't worth it!

One of the first things I noticed when I started driving again was that several streets in my little town were torn up that were drivable when I entered the hospital. Remember the old quote, "You can't get there from here?" That pretty much sums up Grants, NM right now. We only have a couple of main streets to get from here to there and now that is literally impossible without a detour. I quickly found a new path. It didn't make me unhappy, just temporarily confused.

That seems to be where my life is right now. I have figured out that the reason people and the universe in general have left me alone for almost six weeks is so that I would finally realize that I am quite capable of taking care of myself. It has also taught me to really like who I am and to truly appreciate everything that I have been given. Some souls in my situation would not be able to come to that realization. I am not one of them nor do I want to be. It would not make me happy.

I have been trying to reinvent myself, but again I have been temporarily confused. Since I am aware that I could have died as an end to my recent surgery experience I got the message that I still have more to do. I certainly don't think that is an invitation to continue to drag around anyone or anything that was previously causing me to be unhappy. I can almost hear a very soft voice somewhere up there uttering, "Oh shit not again! How many chances does she need to be happy?"

I am trying to cut out the garbage I really am. Bad habits are hard to break.

Checking out the things that really make me happy, besides my relationship with my grandson, first would be my passion for writing and sharing the lessons that the Universe/Source has so generously provided. I have reached the point of believing in my gift and not needing validation, even though positive feedback is always welcome and appreciated. If I were to take the next step it would be to use every means I am given to inspire others to follow their own passion, whatever that may be.

Even though I am still a little confused I know I am taking positive steps that will keep me on a happiness path. I have decided to leave the rest of the world to fight their own battles.


  1. Confusion is always a positive road to the truth!
    During this transitional phase, everything pops up and reveals itself through earthy manifestations as the road not be open with no detour.....

    This manifestation reveals that you are to create your OWN path.....which you have!!

    I love how the Universe Speaks to us!

    There are so many messages given, we just need to see clearly through them.....this is the soul's journey for each of us walking the planet....


  2. Thanks Maria!
    If the road were straight the journey would be too easy.

  3. It's my "belief" that, as a world/universe/globe/population, we are reaching a tipping point where things will need to change dramatically if we are to survive as inhabitants of this planet. That point has not come yet but I think it's getting closer every day. Perhaps you reached a personal tipping point long ago, where things became more clear to you in a way that others didn't understand (or even want to understand!) at the time and that now, by stepping back and observing the world approaching its own tipping point, you have been given a perspective and understanding that not enough other people have yet. Wonderful post, Barbara!

  4. Thank you for sharing your view Lois. I believe you are right.
    I began changing several years ago and those people close to me did not understand. It took me 11 years to appreciate the change myself. Now that I see it I would never go back.

  5. Oh, Barb, we are so much alike, you and I... love your use of the term Universal/source. I have got to use that from now on.

    It's good to be here and knowing you are on the mend. Thanks again sweet lady. Have a good weekend.

  6. Love is life, change and growth foster the love needed to create life otherwise there is just a hollow existence that echoes the sadness of the spirit.

    Welcome home dear one, I believe you have arrived! It has been a pleasure to embrace you as you walk through the door!

    Much love!!!

  7. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment Wayne. I used to use God, but lately it just doesn't seem big enough! I think Shakespeare had the right idea- "a rose by any other name is still a rose". ;)

  8. Hi "anon"! the rest of the world may not know your identity, but I do! Your insight is always welcome thanks! xoxo