A day ahead

I decided not to wait until tomorrow to offer the next anniversary post. This one was apparently chosen by my guide/muse. When I tried to print the one I had selected this one printed instead. It was originally published on August 6, 2012 and is titled Play it again. Here it comes...

I just responded to an online test that was supposed to tell me what I wanted from life. The results were: experience,love and health. Oddly, before going to bed last night I wrote down what I believe I am searching for: good health, security and a mate.

The main difference was experience and security. My experiences have taught me what not to do and if I had another chance I would make different choices that would probably have led to current security.

First, I would not have listened to my ego telling me that compared to others I had little value as a person and had no special talent. I would not have listened to my mother and found a way to obtain an education beyond high school, perhaps finding out that I actually am worthy of the best the universe has to offer. That's called self-esteem.

I would have listened to my intuition and not married either of my two husbands; thus avoiding being subjected to their negative addictions. I also would have learned a lot earlier that I am quite capable of taking care of myself without the assistance of a husband. That's called independence.

As far as children go I may have stopped at my first born. Of course, that would have meant no grandchildren. Sometimes we have to deal with the negative to get to the positive. That's called a reward and is often worth the price we have to pay to earn it.

Unfortunately, I only have one chance to live my life. Approaching age 75 and knowing that where I am is the result of the choices I have made is causing me stress. Why didn't I listen to the guidance I was offered? Why didn't I trust that God made me perfect just the way I am?

Compared to many women my age my life would be considered wonderful. I own my house, my car and owe no one anything. I have enough of everything for today and I am truly grateful.

I guess the only thing missing is love.

Well that's it for today. Tomorrow will be my last anniversary post and like my readers I have absolutely no idea what that will be!