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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Quit smoking!

It has been over ten years since I ended a 40 year nicotine addiction. In 2006 I wrote the following article which was published in The Yeah! Times (Youth Empowerment Advocacy Her0es), a program directed at young people in New Mexico.

I Killed My Best Friend

by Barbara L. Gunn

For a variety of reasons I grew up having very little self-esteem. By age19 I was a very lonely person who desperately needed a best friend.

The friend I chose for the next forty years was 3” tall, smelled bad, controlled my life, and led me in the direction of poor health. The relationship was what would be considered abusive today. In the beginning nobody warned me of danger and in all those years no one offered to help me let go of my destructive companion.

There were of course, those who shook their heads and fingers at me making rude comments about how disgusting this relationship was. They probably thought they were helping, but they only made me angry and caused me to stubbornly refuse to let go. This relationship was a stepping stone to years of allowing other people to treat me with disrespect. I had never developed the courage to believe I was worthy o anything more.

One day I looked in the mirror and realized that I did not deserve to be controlled by an object that could not possibly move from my hand to my mouth without my help. I knew I was the only one who could end the relationship and I have never been sorry that I did.

To become self centered and care about yourself is the best way to end any negative addiction. Whoever you are, believe that you are a valuable person who deserves the very best life has to offer. God does not make junk.

Do you really want a best friend who controls your life and is leading you to poor health and perhaps death? If the answer is no- follow my example. Make yourself your best friend and give yourself permission to live the healthy life you were born to experience. You are worth it!


  1. Cute! Good for you! I too buried that small stick but forunately, I had only used it for 8 years - adult years no less. Indeed! We are worthy of MORE.

  2. Anything is possible when you accept the help that has been asked for. Sometimes we don't acknowledge where it came from.