Catholic or not?

After being married to a womanizing jerk for 13 years I divorced him and took care of our two sons alone. As far as I remember I was not baptized as a child, although I did attend services in protestant churches along the way. I also belonged to the International Order of Rainbow for Girls and Job's Daughters between the ages of 13 and 20. I was the presiding officer in both as well as later in Amaranth They were all Masonic organizations. Pretty much any ideas I had of God came from there.My family was mostly Masonic.The office I enjoyed holding the most wasn't a presiding officer, it was Chaplain.

When I married my second husband in 1972 I decided to be baptized Catholic, mostly to make him and his family happy. Shortly after that I began having panic attacks that lasted for 15 years. For a long time I blamed the Catholic church. For some reason their traditions never felt comfortable.We eventually had a daughter, who was baptized Catholic. Twenty seven years later I divorced my husband. I got tired of his drinking and lying about it. At that time I stopped going to church and have since been a non-active Catholic. I got really tired of the church telling me how to think. I am perfectly capable of doing that on my own.

Oddly, since I left the church and all the negative things I had collected my life became more spiritual. It is really very strange. I have come to the conclusion that the Creator really doesn't care if you were baptized or not. He/she only cares that you do your best to share what you came to this place called earth to share.