The flower in my garden
After our
latest rain I took a peek at what was in my back yard. To my surprise I noticed
a very unusual flower growing in between the weeds. It looked a little like a
sunflower, but the petals were a colorful rainbow. Impressed, I began weeding
around the flower and used a hand tool to loosen up the soil around its roots.
I added some water to encourage it to grow. I decided to leave it alone to see
what would happen.
The next
morning I checked on my beautiful flower. The care I had given it was
apparently just what it needed! Overnight it had grown and grown, reaching to
the sky. Its leaves suggested they were there to act as a ladder. How was that
possible I pondered?
Always being
curious, I decided to climb the trunk to see where it led. As I began my upward
journey I told my dog, Ejay, I would be right back. At least I thought I would!
It seemed as
if it took forever to reach the top. When I did I jumped off and landed on a
grassy slope. What the heck, I had come this far with nothing bad happening, I
might as well start walking to see where it would lead me
As I reached
the bottom of the grassy slope I saw a path before me. There were people
walking on it, but I didn’t recognize anyone. I kept walking and soon saw a
very large building. It had massive columns in front and a huge door. I
struggled to open it and was greeted by silence, only interrupted by the sound
of faint music from a harp. In the front hall I noticed a sign which contained
names, followed by room numbers. I thought how odd. The names were people I had
known in this lifetime who no longer lived a human life. My grandparents,
parents, brother and even my two former husbands were on that list.
As Alice in
Wonderland would say, “Curiouser and curiouser!”
Seeing nobody
in the hall I decided to knock on the first door. A quiet voice whispered,
“Come in.”
I was amazed
to find my paternal grandmother on the other side of the door. She looked
exactly as I remembered her. It was apparently her job to explain to me just
why I was there. I had been given a unique opportunity to make peace with the
past and change any leftover negative energy to positive energy. I would be
allowed to say whatever I liked that would accomplish that task. All I needed
to do was to enter a room and talk to the person on the other side of the door.
Door 1: paternal grandmother
Grandma, I
know you never liked being called Nana. Sorry I don’t think that was my idea. I
wish I had gotten to know you better. I remember your tiny kitchen, well sink
area, your ice box and the rocking chairs in front of your windows. I
especially remember your craft drawer. I may have inherited some of my creative
ability from you. It is sad that you spent so many years as a widow and that I
never knew my paternal grandfather.
Door 2: maternal grandfather
I can’t
really call you grandpa because you died before I was born. I have a feeling I
would have liked you and we would have had things in common. I also have a feeling that you are still around somewhere.
Door 3: maternal step grandfather
Pappy you
are the only grandfather that I knew. I am grateful to you for all the things
you taught me. I appreciate that you took care of my grandmother until the day
she died. You showed me what love and a real marriage is. I hope someday I will
find that too.
Door 4: maternal grandmother
Nana your
generosity and kindness to other people are values I still use. The thing I am
sad about is that we never had an opportunity to talk about spiritual matters.
I have a feeling that you are still acting as a guide in my life. There some questions that have recently come up, but I have decided the answers should remain private.
Door 5: mother
I am not
sure you ever wanted to be a mother. I don’t think you even wanted a husband,
but God has a way of teaching lessons we did not expect. You were critical of
everything I did. As a result I grew up having little confidence in myself not
liking you very much. On your death bed, when the nurse told me to say, I love
you, I couldn’t comply. I am sorry about that. You were a hard worker and
apparently did the best that you could. You just were not what I needed as a
mother.
Door 6: father
I have a
feeling you married my mother because she was pregnant with me. That fact has
cause me to have guilt all of my life. You were always the weak link in our
family unit. You let your wife rule with her judgmental attitude that she
passed on to me. It took years for me to get over that and find a better path.
My strongest memory of you is the day you slapped my face for saying something
you didn’t like. I will never forgive you for that act.
Door 7: brother
You entered
my life when I was thirteen months old, causing me to never really to be a
baby. I felt I always had to be the responsible one. We never had a normal
brother sister relationship and that makes me sad.
Door 8: first husband
Wow what a
teacher you were. You started screwing other women shortly after we were
married and didn’t stop for the thirteen years of our relationship. As a father
you left a lot to be desired. It wasn’t a priority. Today I wonder why it took
me so long to realize I didn’t need you in my life. Seeking a divorce was one
of the best things I ever did, even though I was doubtful that I could support
our two sons by myself.
Door 9: second husband
And then
there was you. For twenty-seven years I took responsibility for the fact that
you were an alcoholic. What a joke that was. I could never depend on you for
anything. I stupidly thought giving you a child of your own would make you stop
drinking. I was wrong! I finally could no longer take your lies and decided
divorce was the only answer. You kept drinking until the end of your life,
transferring the responsibility of your actions to your daughter. Perhaps
someday she will realize that you were the only one responsible for you and
your decisions.
What an
amazing opportunity I was given! After I had made the rounds and said my piece
I felt as though a great weight had been lifted. I then walked back to the
beautiful flower with its rainbow colored petals and slid down the trunk. As I
reached the ground I saw my dog, Ejay, sitting there wagging his tail. I said,
“I told you I would be right back!”
The next
morning there was no trace of the unusual flower in my garden.
(While looking through a drawer in my computer desk I found this previously written short story. I had forgotten about it, but as I re-read it I discovered it was really quite good. Although it is longer than my usual posts I decided to share it with those reading my blog."
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