Worry

Worry is a terrible waste of time. According to Confucius, “If you look into your own heart and find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?”

Worry is something I do all the time. I suppose it is a life lesson I still need to conquer. It is true that most times what I have worried about never happens. Apparently I am a slow learner.

At the moment I am worried about my blood pressure. My medication was recently increased and it doesn’t seem to me to be improving the situation. I am not expecting miracles, just a decrease in the numbers. I suppose patience would be helpful too- maybe. Another life lesson I have a problem with.

I don’t know if I have a good approach to dealing with worry, except to focus on the positive instead of the negative. The other thing is, don’t drag yesterday’s worries into the present. I know that’s usually easier said than done, but it isn’t impossible. Actually, I believe I have come to the conclusion that worry shows a lack of faith. It is also a sign of a control freak. I thought I had gone beyond that! I keep thinking of the phrase, "let go let God".

I think I will take my own advice and focus on the numbers coming down and staying there and stop worrying!

Angel eyes

I had a scare this morning after my trip to the grocery store. I had paid for my purchase with my debit card and then dropped it in my purse.

When I got home I couldn't find the card. I checked my purse three times and finally checked the back seat of my car, where I had put the groceries. Nothing! The only thing I could do was to go back to the store and ask if I had dropped it.

Finding the same checker, I was told she hadn't seen it. Great I had just replaced my debit card a few weeks ago and was not looking forward to repeating the procedure.

Unlocking my car I noticed something on the floor of the back seat that I had not seen before. You guessed it! The missing card was found. It apparently slid out of my purse when I put the groceries in the car.

I was obviously extremely grateful for the eyes of the angel who helped me find the card. I am aware that many people believe that when they have a problem they should go directly to God. The way I see it that entity has a whole lot of problems to attend to. I believe that is why there are angels, guides and Archangels to assist with the struggles of us humans. 

Listen up

Yesterday my son and I took care of most of the weeds in the front of my property. The only thing left for me to do was pull the ones leaning up against the chain link fence on the street side. I had no energy left and my back hurt so I left them for another day.

I knew that day was today, but I claimed lazy. I kept thinking about them and put it off as I washed a load of clothes and swept floors.

Finally about noon a voice came through loud and clear- just do it!

I could no longer put off the project. I knew it wouldn't take very long. So I did it!

When I finished I came back into the house to congratulate myself on a job finally finished. Five minutes later it started to rain. I started to laugh when I realized if I had not followed instructions from the silent voice the weeds would still be there because the rain kept up for two hours.

Education

Education comes in all forms and actually lasts our entire human life. I am currently watching the Netflix series, Orange is the New Black. It is about a women's prison and the daily struggles of the inmates. Two of my three children once worked at prisons that housed female inmates so I am finding it interesting. I was already aware that inmates are people first. Some of them only made a single mistake before they were locked up.

This series has made me aware that a whole lot goes on behind the bars than anyone would suspect. I admit I put the nudity and lesbian scenes on the back burner, but I am aware that they exist. They are just not part of my world. The inmates who left children behind are the saddest. The children grow up without mothers to guide them.

I would recommend this series to anyone who desires an education beyond the normal.

A change of pace

Today I decided to share a creative writing story I wrote for my online writing group. It is called the flower in my garden.

After our latest rain I took a peek at what was in my back yard. To my surprise I noticed a very unusual flower growing in between the weeds. It looked a little like a sunflower, but the petals were a colorful rainbow. Impressed, I began weeding around the flower and used a hand tool to loosen up the soil around its roots. I added some water to encourage it to grow. I decided to leave it alone to see what would happen.

The next morning I checked on my beautiful flower. The care I had given it was apparently just what it needed! Overnight it had grown and grown, reaching to the sky. Its leaves suggested they were there to act as a ladder. How was that possible I pondered?

Always being curious, I decided to climb the trunk to see where it led. As I began my upward journey I told my dog, Ejay, I would be right back. At least I thought I would!

It seemed as if it took forever to reach the top. When I did I jumped off and landed on a grassy slope. What the heck, I had come this far with nothing bad happening, I might as well start walking to see where it would lead me

As I reached the bottom of the grassy slope I saw a path before me. There were people walking on it, but I didn’t recognize anyone. I kept walking and soon saw a very large building. It had massive columns in front and a huge door. I struggled to open it and was greeted by silence, only interrupted by the sound of faint music from a harp. In the front hall I noticed a sign which contained names, followed by room numbers. I thought how odd. The names were people I had known in this lifetime who no longer lived a human life. My grandparents, parents, brother and even my two former husbands were on that list.

As Alice in Wonderland would say, “Curiouser and curiouser!”

Seeing nobody in the hall I decided to knock on the first door. A quiet voice whispered, “Come in.”

I was amazed to find my paternal grandmother on the other side of the door. She looked exactly as I remembered her. It was apparently her job to explain to me just why I was there. I had been given a unique opportunity to make peace with the past and change any leftover negative energy to positive energy. I would be allowed to ask any questions that would accomplish that task. All I needed to do was to enter a room and talk to the person on the other side of the door.

What an amazing opportunity I had been given! After I had made the rounds and asked my questions I felt as though a great weight had been lifted. I then walked back to the beautiful flower with its rainbow colored petals and slid down the trunk. As I reached the ground I saw my dog, Ejay, sitting there wagging his tail. I said, “I told you I would be right back!”

The next morning there was no trace of the unusual flower in my garden.

 

Although this story is fiction, I have visited the building before, but this time it was for me. You may believe it or not. It is your choice.

What a scary world

The mass shootings that have been going on are making it impossible to live in peace. I have often thought what would I do if I was in Walmart and someone came in with a gun and started shooting. Would I just willingly give up my life to a deranged being? The other thing that worries me is the after school program at our family center. There could be as many as 100 kids playing in the gym directly opposite of the front door. Where would they hide? Nowhere that I can see. They would be living targets.

My oldest son occasionally goes to concerts out of state. Every time he goes to one I worry that there might be a mass shooting for no reason other than some crazy person has a gun.

Nobody gets out of this life alive, but damn this isn't the way I want to leave.

Insignificant

Yesterday morning I started my car and the check engine light popped on. Not again I yelled to no one in sight!

As I drove by the auto shop where I usually take the car I saw that there were a ton of cars parked in front. I decided to drive into town because I had some things I needed to do. I crossed my fingers and prayed everything would be alright. Thank heavens it was! I managed to pay a bill, exercise at the family center and stop by the grocery store. The car seemed to be running fine, but the light was still on. Because I had picked up meat I decided to drop off the groceries at my house before I did anything else.

I called the auto shop after I got home, reporting the problem and asked when I could bring the car in to be checked. I was told to bring it in this morning. The mechanic also said maybe it was something insignificant. I replied, "I hope so!"

What a great word! This morning I started the car and as I drove to the shop I kept saying it over and over. I really couldn't afford another big bill right now. The mechanic checked things out and couldn't find anything wrong. He turned the light off and said, "The car seems to be running fine, unless it starts acting up don't worry about it". My answer was, "Do you know how hard it is for me not to worry?" He has known me for a long time.

Now I am wondering if the fact that I was focusing on the word, insignificant, changed the direction of the event?