All of my life negative people have been put on my path. Over the weekend I had some quiet time to think about why that is. My conclusion: they provided contrast so that I could see what I want and what I don't want.
Being born very stubborn only added to the confusion. Believing I knew what was best for me caused a constant struggle with Source. When I remember the times that I was the most unhappy I clearly see the big picture. They were the times I tried to bring someone or something into my life that was not a vibrational match for my authentic self.
The struggle caused anger, tears and hurt feelings. Usually, given enough time, I saw that I was better off not getting what I had insisted I wanted. Sometimes of course, I was given my way just to prove I was wrong and the universe was right.
I have often been temporarily intimidated by those who use their clever, educated minds to express themselves. If I had gone to college instead of getting married and raising my three children, perhaps I would be as smart as they appear to be.
Perhaps that is not true. One of these souls in particular fits this description to a tee. The man has a brilliant mind, but does not show his face to the world. He hides his authentic self behind his alter ego/s. It seems to me he is afraid to express his most private thoughts.
Oddly, I thought I needed him in my life. Over the weekend I asked myself, "Does this person match your current vibration?" When I answered NO, I finally saw he was simply put on my path for contrast to allow me to see the real me!
There was a time that I did hide behind others, afraid to express my authentic self. That is no longer true. In contrast I now follow my heart, which is in tune with my soul. I am very happy to have found me!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Out With Calendars
My grandson made me laugh last Friday and it inspired this post. Last week was the end of the school year here. Technically, Wednesday was the last day of school. Most of the kids, including Colin, didn't go Thursday or Friday. As we were getting ready to have lunch Friday, Colin, popped up with, "I am so excited about Monday!" I asked what was happening on Monday. His response was, "It's the first day of summer vacation."
Apparently the two days he already had off didn't count because they weren't on the school calendar. It started me thinking about how many people live their lives according to the calendar. If they are working, Wednesday is hump day with only two more left in their week. Then on to the weekend and they start over. It seems like most people live from one holiday to another with hardly a breath in between.
What about the rest of the year? I think it would be great if we banned the calendar and just lived each day to the best of our ability. No gifts, no cards, no special foods- just appreciating one day after the other.
No day is more special than any other in my world, no matter what the calendar says. Each one is a gift filled with experiences of our own choosing.
Apparently the two days he already had off didn't count because they weren't on the school calendar. It started me thinking about how many people live their lives according to the calendar. If they are working, Wednesday is hump day with only two more left in their week. Then on to the weekend and they start over. It seems like most people live from one holiday to another with hardly a breath in between.
What about the rest of the year? I think it would be great if we banned the calendar and just lived each day to the best of our ability. No gifts, no cards, no special foods- just appreciating one day after the other.
No day is more special than any other in my world, no matter what the calendar says. Each one is a gift filled with experiences of our own choosing.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
A Battle of One
On this weekend most of the country is remembering those who lost their life in a military battle. I choose instead to think about those souls who have touched my life and have lost their own lives in a battle with disease.
Having survived cancer myself I know what I am talking about. Everyone has their own way of dealing with their devastating health challenge. This post is in memory of all those brave fighters placed on my path. Each one has offered a lesson to aid me on my own journey.
Ione Halverson, Sidney Halverson, Ruth Williams, Juanita Pilcher, Dominique Baca, Joseph DeSoto, Shaunualee Brito, Howard Miller, Barbara Hocker, Marlee Garza and James Amos.
Peace be with you all.
Having survived cancer myself I know what I am talking about. Everyone has their own way of dealing with their devastating health challenge. This post is in memory of all those brave fighters placed on my path. Each one has offered a lesson to aid me on my own journey.
Ione Halverson, Sidney Halverson, Ruth Williams, Juanita Pilcher, Dominique Baca, Joseph DeSoto, Shaunualee Brito, Howard Miller, Barbara Hocker, Marlee Garza and James Amos.
Peace be with you all.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
My Way
This has been an interesting week so far. I believe the universal message is access all information available to move forward, then stop, evaluate and use my intuition to do things my way.
I was not born a sheep and have learned through trial and error to trust my inner voice. When something doesn't feel right there is always a reason, presenting itself as a lesson to be learned or ignored. When it is ignored I usually find myself saying, that was really stupid or asking do I really want to go through this experience again?
For two weeks I drove myself to write to the point of causing physical pain, which led me to my trusted chiropractor. Today I am rethinking what I am doing. I realized that there is no need to push myself so hard. Recounting the stories I have already finished caused me to see that I probably only need three more to accomplish what I set out to do, which was celebrate the lives of the people who live in Cibola County and promote the area to prospective tourists.
If I just added 3 it would bring the total to 66, which is a memorable number in this part of the country. It brings to mind the famous Route 66. I wonder why I didn't think of that earlier. Sometimes I really am the last one to know!
The inspiration for this post came from another new Facebook friend who shared the story of her husband's method of prayer before he died of a terminal illness. He didn't bother with organized prayers or rituals, he simply talked to God in his own words.
Her post really brought home an important message for me, which is stop trying to do things the way everyone else does them and just do them your way. Not only are you not a sheep, there is no absolute right or wrong way to do anything.
I was not born a sheep and have learned through trial and error to trust my inner voice. When something doesn't feel right there is always a reason, presenting itself as a lesson to be learned or ignored. When it is ignored I usually find myself saying, that was really stupid or asking do I really want to go through this experience again?
For two weeks I drove myself to write to the point of causing physical pain, which led me to my trusted chiropractor. Today I am rethinking what I am doing. I realized that there is no need to push myself so hard. Recounting the stories I have already finished caused me to see that I probably only need three more to accomplish what I set out to do, which was celebrate the lives of the people who live in Cibola County and promote the area to prospective tourists.
If I just added 3 it would bring the total to 66, which is a memorable number in this part of the country. It brings to mind the famous Route 66. I wonder why I didn't think of that earlier. Sometimes I really am the last one to know!
The inspiration for this post came from another new Facebook friend who shared the story of her husband's method of prayer before he died of a terminal illness. He didn't bother with organized prayers or rituals, he simply talked to God in his own words.
Her post really brought home an important message for me, which is stop trying to do things the way everyone else does them and just do them your way. Not only are you not a sheep, there is no absolute right or wrong way to do anything.
Monday, May 23, 2011
An Unexpected Lesson
Lessons come wrapped in all kinds of packages until we learn them. Last night the universe apparently decided I needed yet another experience to pound into my head that I am only responsible for me.
Recently I found a web page for a tiny set of twins, born at 24 weeks in Middlesbrough, United Kingdom. It said the mother had set up the site to keep people informed on the progress of the girls, named Ava and Bella. When I saw it I couldn't resist the photo of them cuddled on their mother's chest. I immediately added them to my Facebook friend list. I also sent a suggestion to several of my friends to do the same. Sixteen others accepted.
Yesterday I suggested the connection to a brand new FB friend and almost immediately my antenna went up. I noticed the twin's friend list had grown by leaps and bounds, attracting people from all over the world. There were sometimes references made about donations to the hospital and suggestions to followers to have fund-raising events. All of a sudden the thought surfaced, "Is this a scam?"
Wondering if I had led my compassionate friends astray I sent a message to my newest friend to see what she thought, because she appeared to be very intuitive. She did feel it was a bit set up, but she also pointed out that each of us have a choice whether to donate or not.
Between us we checked out the information and it is authentic. The Scietekat babies are residents of James Cook Hospital, until at least July 2011. They are doing very well, considering their traumatic arrival and tomorrow they will be three weeks old. I plan on sending positive loving energy to these brave souls who are fighting to live.
The lesson for me was, I can give information to others based on my own experiences, but it is their choice what to do with it. Taking this a step further I have also been wondering how to address the devastating earthquakes, floods and other disasters that are occurring around the world. I feel bad for the lives that have been lost, but I am not in a position to be of financial help. All I can do is send out positive healing energy to those involved.
Recently I found a web page for a tiny set of twins, born at 24 weeks in Middlesbrough, United Kingdom. It said the mother had set up the site to keep people informed on the progress of the girls, named Ava and Bella. When I saw it I couldn't resist the photo of them cuddled on their mother's chest. I immediately added them to my Facebook friend list. I also sent a suggestion to several of my friends to do the same. Sixteen others accepted.
Yesterday I suggested the connection to a brand new FB friend and almost immediately my antenna went up. I noticed the twin's friend list had grown by leaps and bounds, attracting people from all over the world. There were sometimes references made about donations to the hospital and suggestions to followers to have fund-raising events. All of a sudden the thought surfaced, "Is this a scam?"
Wondering if I had led my compassionate friends astray I sent a message to my newest friend to see what she thought, because she appeared to be very intuitive. She did feel it was a bit set up, but she also pointed out that each of us have a choice whether to donate or not.
Between us we checked out the information and it is authentic. The Scietekat babies are residents of James Cook Hospital, until at least July 2011. They are doing very well, considering their traumatic arrival and tomorrow they will be three weeks old. I plan on sending positive loving energy to these brave souls who are fighting to live.
The lesson for me was, I can give information to others based on my own experiences, but it is their choice what to do with it. Taking this a step further I have also been wondering how to address the devastating earthquakes, floods and other disasters that are occurring around the world. I feel bad for the lives that have been lost, but I am not in a position to be of financial help. All I can do is send out positive healing energy to those involved.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Remembering Marlee
All this hype about the world ending today brought back a memory of a lady who came into my life a few years ago. She wasn't really a friend, but had worked with my daughter at a prison in Grants, NM. She was a very interesting woman.
Marlee was diagnosed with lung cancer and eventually had to quit her job because she became too weak to work. She loved her home on Mt. Taylor and lived there for as long as she could manage with the help of friends. She began going through her extensive art collection and possessions she had collected on her travels. One by one she gave them to her special friends.
One day she announced to all that knew her that she had selected the exact day she was going to die. Marlee had dabbled in several religions and finally settled on Buddhism. She claimed that Buddhists had been given the ability to decide when they would die. She planned a party for the night before her chosen death date and invited her closest friends to attend. I am not sure if anyone actually believed her or if they were just humoring her because she was ill.
Of course, the next day she was still alive. It was a little embarrassing, but nothing stopped Marlee for very long. She lived for at least two more years and continued to grow physically weaker. She eventually had to move to a nursing home, where she made the best of still being alive.
She made sure that the nurses and staff knew that she wanted to die. It was not a morbid wish, she was just done with what she came here to do and I think annoyed that God was not listening to her. She had already made a decision that she wanted to return in her next life as a healer.
Marlee was a very spiritual soul, in her own way. A few weeks before she died I had a strong feeling that I was supposed to visit her. I had at one time shared some of my photos that contain spirit images and on my visit brought her prints of the ones I knew she especially liked. She was grateful and said, "There is no one here to talk to about spiritual things."
Above all Marlee had a great sense of humor. Before I left I remarked, "You know that you can't tell God when you are going to die, right?" With a smile she said, "Yes, I know."
Marlee finally got her wish and like her life her funeral was one of a kind. Her ashes were scattered by family and friends on the grounds of the sandstone bluffs in Cibola County. One of her sons summed her up by saying, "My mother was an odd bird."
On this day, with part of the world at least, thinking they can tell God what to do, I remember Marlee and I am grateful to have known her. Maybe she is a reminder to me that even though I know certain things are going to happen, the when is not entirely up to me.
Marlee was diagnosed with lung cancer and eventually had to quit her job because she became too weak to work. She loved her home on Mt. Taylor and lived there for as long as she could manage with the help of friends. She began going through her extensive art collection and possessions she had collected on her travels. One by one she gave them to her special friends.
One day she announced to all that knew her that she had selected the exact day she was going to die. Marlee had dabbled in several religions and finally settled on Buddhism. She claimed that Buddhists had been given the ability to decide when they would die. She planned a party for the night before her chosen death date and invited her closest friends to attend. I am not sure if anyone actually believed her or if they were just humoring her because she was ill.
Of course, the next day she was still alive. It was a little embarrassing, but nothing stopped Marlee for very long. She lived for at least two more years and continued to grow physically weaker. She eventually had to move to a nursing home, where she made the best of still being alive.
She made sure that the nurses and staff knew that she wanted to die. It was not a morbid wish, she was just done with what she came here to do and I think annoyed that God was not listening to her. She had already made a decision that she wanted to return in her next life as a healer.
Marlee was a very spiritual soul, in her own way. A few weeks before she died I had a strong feeling that I was supposed to visit her. I had at one time shared some of my photos that contain spirit images and on my visit brought her prints of the ones I knew she especially liked. She was grateful and said, "There is no one here to talk to about spiritual things."
Above all Marlee had a great sense of humor. Before I left I remarked, "You know that you can't tell God when you are going to die, right?" With a smile she said, "Yes, I know."
Marlee finally got her wish and like her life her funeral was one of a kind. Her ashes were scattered by family and friends on the grounds of the sandstone bluffs in Cibola County. One of her sons summed her up by saying, "My mother was an odd bird."
On this day, with part of the world at least, thinking they can tell God what to do, I remember Marlee and I am grateful to have known her. Maybe she is a reminder to me that even though I know certain things are going to happen, the when is not entirely up to me.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Simplify
For months, maybe even years, I have systematically eliminated things I no longer need. At first it wasn't really a conscious effort, I was just following my intuition. Now I see I was being led to simplify my life.
This week's major accomplishment was to eliminate Dish network, which I have had for three years and go back to Comcast, where I started in 1980. I was never happy with Dish, mostly because I had no clue how to use half of the things I was paying $60 a month for. The price had continued to climb since I originally purchased the contract. Comcast is running a special for $19.99 for the first year, which will save me $480. Even when the price goes up it will be considerably less than Dish is now.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when my picture became distorted and I could not speak to a human to find out what was causing the problem. I took a deep breath and dialed the account number then yelled "disconnect my service" at the automated voice who was on the other end of the line. Today I can watch the programs I want to view by just pushing a channel number, no electronic knowledge is necessary.
It is the same with my phones. I have a land phone for general use and a trac phone for emergencies. All I need to be able do is dial a number or pick up the receiver when the instrument rings. It does not need to play music, provide internet service or order a dinner in a restaurant or send flowers to a friend. It just has to work when I need to communicate with someone.
Last week I did purchase a simple to use digital voice recorder to make interviewing my subjects for my current book a little easier. Previously I had struggled to take accurate notes by hand, which made interviews run much too long.
My life is now simplified and I like it that way!
This week's major accomplishment was to eliminate Dish network, which I have had for three years and go back to Comcast, where I started in 1980. I was never happy with Dish, mostly because I had no clue how to use half of the things I was paying $60 a month for. The price had continued to climb since I originally purchased the contract. Comcast is running a special for $19.99 for the first year, which will save me $480. Even when the price goes up it will be considerably less than Dish is now.
The straw that broke the camel's back was when my picture became distorted and I could not speak to a human to find out what was causing the problem. I took a deep breath and dialed the account number then yelled "disconnect my service" at the automated voice who was on the other end of the line. Today I can watch the programs I want to view by just pushing a channel number, no electronic knowledge is necessary.
It is the same with my phones. I have a land phone for general use and a trac phone for emergencies. All I need to be able do is dial a number or pick up the receiver when the instrument rings. It does not need to play music, provide internet service or order a dinner in a restaurant or send flowers to a friend. It just has to work when I need to communicate with someone.
Last week I did purchase a simple to use digital voice recorder to make interviewing my subjects for my current book a little easier. Previously I had struggled to take accurate notes by hand, which made interviews run much too long.
My life is now simplified and I like it that way!
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