The positive path of grandparents

One of my friends recently asked me a question that caught my attention. It was, what is your favorite childhood memory? It took me some time before I came up with an answer, which was spending time with my grandparents.

Her reply was, “I can feel your love for them.”

My maternal grandparents, better known as Nana and Pappy, were the people who taught me the basic values that I still follow today. I have a great deal of respect for both of them. My younger brother and I spent many summers under their roof. 

I was taught the Lord’s Prayer by my grandmother. She also made sure I had piano and dance lessons and generally made me feel special. I loved helping her in the kitchen. She may have been the one who instilled my current enjoyment of trying new recipes. I especially remember her rhubarb pies and applesauce. Even today when I am peeling hard boiled eggs I can hear her saying, “Don’t crack them too much or you won’t be able to peel the shell off.” I have a vivid memory of sitting with her and snapping green beans from their garden.

One of my jobs while staying with them was dusting her Hummel collection. That is where I learned “a place for everything and everything in its place”. It is something I still follow today. Clutter drives me crazy.

There were always flowers in their yard, especially roses, which today are my favorite. My grandfather brought my grandmother a cut rose every morning that they were blooming. It sat in a crystal vase in the center of the dining room table. I think that led me to the belief that a single rose says so much more than an entire bouquet. 

Another very strong memory also involved my grandfather and flowers. It occurred when I was a teenager. We lived in opposite ends of town. One day he picked me up in his vehicle because we were going to attend an event together later that night. On the way to his house he stopped his truck and got out without saying a word. I was not familiar with the area we were in. A few minutes later he came back and presented me with a box that contained a corsage. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. It was just the kind of man he was.

My grandmother always had a lot of friends and she enjoyed inviting them to her home to play bingo. I got to play too, but there was one rule; I wasn’t allowed to win a prize. At the time, I didn’t think that was very fair, but as an adult I see that life always has rules. If you don’t follow them you can find yourself in a whole lot of trouble.

One of my fondest memories is sitting next to my grandmother, unwinding the yarn as she created projects to give away. I believe the activity woke up my creative genes. As an adult, I taught myself how to crochet and today enjoy making baby blankets and little beanies to donate to our local hospital maternity ward. I often think how proud my grandmother would be of my gesture.
 

I don’t recall my grandmother being critical of anything I did. Well, that’s not entirely true. She had a problem with my penmanship. Although I have tried over the years to improve, it has been a wasted effort. That is why I am grateful for the invention of the computer. 

Another memory that has lasted a lifetime is, one day I was sitting in the back of my grandparents’ car complaining about something someone did or said to me. I blurted out, “I hate her!” My grandmother turned around and sternly said, “You don’t hate anyone!” I don’t think I ever used those words again. 

A very important grandparent memory is that of my first marriage. My parents did not approve of my choice of partners and chose not to have any part of my wedding. Nana and Pappy came to the rescue. My grandmother found a dress and had it altered to fit me. My grandfather walked me down the aisle and they paid for the modest ceremony. They may not have approved of my choice of a husband either, but they did not say a word about that fact.

My first child was born on Christmas day 1960. My grandparents gave me a choice of having a nurse or diaper service for a month. I chose the latter because I didn’t have a washing machine. When my son was about a month old he had a very bad chest cold. My grandmother stopped by with several pairs of booties she had knitted. She offered with confidence, “When a baby’s feet are cold it affects their whole body.” She never for a moment suggested that his health problem was my fault.

Neither of my grandparents are alive now, but the values they taught me growing up have lasted all my life. I believe they are the reason I have had such a positive relationship with my young grandson. I have always tried to look for and encourage any signs I have noticed for his special talents. I sincerely hope I have been to him the kind of grandparent my grandparents were to me. Only once in his seventeen years on this planet did I raise my voice to him. That was simply to remind him how important it is to always do what he promises to do. I believe my grandparents would have done the same thing. 

I inherited an antique rocking chair that my grandfather gave me when I was a young mother and my grandmother’s collection of Hummel figurines that I dusted as a child. They keep my memories alive. I wouldn’t sell them for any amount of money.

So it seems my answer to my friend’s question was correct. My favorite childhood memory is spending time with my grandparents. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if they were still in my life, acting as my spirit guides.

Counting the words

I just had an interesting experience counting words. Back when I was a columnist for our local paper I learned to write so the words fit into the space provided. I could take a person's entire life and share it on one page or about 500 words. Since then I have always tried to take as little space as necessary to say what I need to say.

Then came my experience as a contributor for an online magazine. I had to learn to add words to come up to their required word count. It was about double to what I had ever written before. I took it as a lesson I needed to learn.

To this day I am annoyed with authors who add way too much detail. I mentally scream, will you just get on with your story!

My latest challenge is a friend who is getting a newsletter together for her business. She asked if anyone would like to contribute short pieces. At first I thought the subject she is dealing with was not for me. Then I remembered an article I had written back in 2013 for our local newspaper that would be a good fit for the subject matter. The problem was it was over 600 words, twice the size my friend needed for her newsletter.

I printed out a copy and began reading it. I asked myself, can you make this fit the required 300 words? I love a challenge, so I started eliminating words until it was slimmed down. It didn't loose anything in what I was trying to say and I actually had fun editing the piece. I sent it on to my friend and she said she will probably use it.

It reminded me of an experience I had with the publisher of my first hard cover book, "Wake Up!" I sent what was supposed to be on the back cover of the book and got a message back to reduce what I had written by half. That was unexpected, but I did it. 

I'm not sure if word count really matters as long as you don't leave out anything important.

Rise above it

Today I have been thinking about a former friend who used to tell me, "rise above it", when negative things happened. At the time I thought it was kind of cute. Now I'm thinking perhaps he was right. I suppose a more modern version would be, raise your vibration.

There is a lot of mucky stuff going on out there today and if you don't want to walk around in mud you have to step above it.

It is very disturbing to me that so many young people are taking their own lives. It is like there is a fan club for this kind of thing. Don't they realize that once they shoot the gun, take the pills or use that rope it will be the end of their life? I could be wrong, but I think a lot of this stuff is copycat behavior.

Bullying has been going on forever. There is nothing new about that. I spent my younger years being bullied. I had crooked teeth and began wearing glasses at about four years old. I had almost no self-confidence, partly due to a mother who criticized everything I did. I never once thought about killing myself.

I think I blame the school system for a lot of what is going on these days. I am not blaming the teachers. They have to follow the curriculum, set up by those above them, who mostly have never taught a class of children in their lives. We are producing a bunch of sheep and are not only destroying their ability to think for themselves, but their natural creativity. Teachers can't even lay a hand on a student for fear of getting themselves fired.

This ends my soap box stand for today except to say- RISE ABOVE IT!

Just ask

The Riverwalk in Grants,NM sits right in the center of our little town, a block off the main street. I have lived here since 1980 and during those years it has offered many community events. One of the assignments I am going to ask the kids to do during the writing camp I am offering next month is, write about your experiences/memories at the Riverwalk.

Of course, the Riverwalk has not always been there. At one time it was an area where houses and a  large apartment complex stood. It was cleared out and the park was constructed, which now includes three ponds, a gazebo and an amphitheater. Oh, and there are also a bunch of ducks and geese who make it their home.

I began to think that it would be nice to give the kids a little bit of local history along with the writing assignment. I wanted to know more about the Riverwalk like; when was it constructed, when was the gazebo and amphitheater added? I guessed the gazebo was added in about 1984 because we had my daughter's birthday party there, right after it was built. I had no idea about the rest. So I began asking around.

First I sent a message to the City Manager of Grants, who is also a friend. I figured the city should have that information. I did not get an answer. Next I stopped by the Visitor Center and was told they only deal in parks and have nothing to do with the city. They suggested I contact the Chamber of Commerce, which I did, and have yet to receive an answer. Several people suggested contacting the library. I did and was told that they have few books about Grants, NM and they only keep newspaper articles for a year. Their suggestion was to check my local newspaper. This made me laugh!

The Cibola Beacon no longer exists and was replaced by the Cibola Citizen, now published once a week. That's what happens when you live in a small town like Grants. Reaching the end of my patience, I sent a message to them last night asking if they had access to past Beacon stories. Of course, I have not heard back as yet.

Someone has to know the answer to my questions. I would think facts about something as important as the Riverwalk would be available to anyone who would ask. I could be wrong.

Admiration

I am asking myself this morning whom do I admire the most. That's a really good question!

If there is one person I could name it would probably be Maya Angelou. I think she is the only celebrity I would have loved to have had a private conversation with. I believe I have said before that she was an amazing woman. Her inspiring words will live on for many years. Long after I am no longer a resident of earth!

There is a group of people whom I admire the most. They are those who never let their earthly struggles stop them. I have many friends who fall into that category. No matter what challenges they are given they just keep pushing on, doing the best that they can do. They are my personal role models. I call them "independently wealthy" because they stand up for themselves and depend on no one.

During my life time I have also been given challenges, as everyone who is human has. I have stood up against some pretty hefty struggles. Some were physical, some emotional and some psychological. All were meant to add to my evolvement.

So I have to look in my mirror and count myself as one of those souls whom I admire the most. After all, I have survived and I am still here! 

Be you

I have always known that I am different than the ordinary. This morning a friend posted something that really hit home with me. I decided to share it on my blog. It just goes to show that being a little different is not bad at all. Just be you because that is all you can be.

Making a decision

I decided to take the weekend to think about my idea to do another children's "writing camp" at our family center. In the meantime I took a look at what I had left over from the last camp I did, five years ago. Everything just sort of fell into place and I realized doing another one would take very little effort on my part.

After exercising this morning I stopped by the office to ask if they still had room for another camp in their summer program. To my surprise the answer was yes because someone had dropped out. I didn't even have time to think, as my idea was promptly put in the computer. Even the room I really wanted to use would be available for my camp. I was even told a member of the summer staff would be appointed to help me with the camp. I really did need someone to help with crowd control etc.

I just remembered that I pulled an angel card a couple of days ago that said I would have a new partner. Seriously?!

It almost seems as if my guide/guides gave me a push in the right direction and all I had to do was follow. Some days are like that!