Memories are made of this

Yesterday I listened, via the Social Media, to a talk given at the Center for Spiritual Living in Florida, by my friend Rev. Bob Luckin. The title was "Cleansing the Doors of Perception" and as I listened to his recount of experiencing a recent stroke and being admitted to a hospital, memories of my own hospital experience, just about three years ago, came floating back to me.

I had been in severe pain for two days and finally around 2:00 am I decided I had better go to the emergency room. I had hesitated because I had no insurance, not even medicare B. For the same reason, I drove myself to the hospital and as the result was chewed out by the emergency room doctor who said, "I can't give you anything for the pain if you are driving". Somewhere along the line someone decided to take some xrays, which told the jerk that I had a blocked bowel and would probably need immediate surgery.

Nobody told me that as I was moved to another part of the emergency room. When a doctor, who I had known for over 30 years came in he greeted me with, "Hey Barb what are you doing here?" My answer was, "You tell me!"

He did just that and two hours later we again met in the operating room where he proceeded to take care of my problem, which I didn't know I had. I wrongly assumed I had the flu.

Although he expertly did his part, my body decided to take its time healing and I spent the next two weeks as a captive in the hospital with a tube shoved down my nose, throat and it began pumping gross purple stuff from my stomach into a container. Inquiring where all this stuff was coming from I was told by the surgeon's nurse, "everywhere, your body was hurt and it is crying". Well picture that!

There wasn't much I could do about the situation. I wasn't going anywhere, except to take daily walks around the halls. I finally decided that someone thought I needed a vacation from my regular life. I made the decision not to worry about the bill, which ended up being around $40,000,and enjoy the rest I had been given. It wasn't easy with that tube stuck you know where.

I had a great time getting to know the nurses and learning about their lives. As a writer I was the one who had a captive audience. Before I left I asked a friend to bring me several copies of my first published book, Wake Up!, which I signed and passed around to the staff. It was the least I could do after being treated so well by everyone.

My friend's talk was something I could relate to because, like me, he chose to consider his experience as an adventure and learn from it.

Soups' on

At the request of a loyal friend and because the weather has turned a bit frosty I am posting a couple of delicious soup recipes today. The first is one I dug up from long ago when I had a family to cook for. It is a one pot very filling dinner to warm your bones on a brisk evening.

Lentil Soup

2 cups lentils 2 quarts water 1/4 cups dry onion flakes 1/2 tsp. minced garlic 2 bay leaves 2 cups diced tomatoes 2 cups diced carrots 2 cups shredded cabbage 2 cups sliced zucchini 1 Tb. salt 1/4 cup soy sauce 1-1/4 tsp. pepper

combine lentils and water, bring to a boil, simmer 2 minutes, cover and remove from heat for 1 hour. Add onion flakes, garlic, bay leaves, tomato and carrots. Cover and simmer 1/2 hour.

Add cabbage, zucchini, soy sauce, salt & pepper and simmer 5 minutes. Remove bay leaves. I have also added bean sprouts.

Next I am offering a new recipe I found on the internet and recently tried. Both my son and I enjoyed it to the very last drop.

Broccoli Potato Soup

1-1/4 cups instant mashed potato flakes 4 slices bacon 2 cups frozen cut broccoli 2-1/2 cups reduced sodium chicken broth 1/4 cup minced onion 2 cloves minced garlic 1-1/2 cups milk 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (4 0z.) 2 Tb minced parsley

Cook bacon until crisp, drain on paper towels. Add onion and garlic to pan, stirring about 2 minutes until soft. Remove from pan, draining any fat. Crumble bacon and set aside.

Combine onion and garlic, broccoli and chicken broth in large saucepan. Mix well. Reduce heat, cover and simmer 5 minutes.

Stir in potato flakes. Reduce heat to low. Gradually stir in milk, add cheese and crumbled bacon. Cook over low heat until cheese melts, stirring constantly. Sprinkle each serving with minced parsley.

Chill out!

As I was raking up leaves this morning I was thinking of my grandson and wondered if he is going to help me bag them this year. He's a big teenager now and very busy with sports and school activities. It isn't so easy to get his attention anymore. As I was recalling the memories of seasons past a photo I had taken of him about four years ago popped up. It was a cool fall day and we had raked up a big pile of leaves when he suddenly said cover me up grandma and take my picture. How could I resist? The picture was so cute I framed it and he gave it to his step-father for Christmas that year. It could have been titled chill out!

After posting it on Facebook a friend saw it and asked permission to share it, stating that it should go viral. She said "he looks so blissful- my kind of fall feeling".

The smile on his face just says- Chill out, a suggestion we should all consider now and then.

It's all in the attitude

Be nice and treat me with respect and I just might reconsider my decisions and say yes.

A couple of days ago while exercising in the fitness room at our family center I had a couple of interesting one on one conversations that changed decisions I had previously made. The first was with an office employee, who like me had been treated with disrespect during the time I had worked there. (That would be the last school year.) There was a whole lot of negative energy going on during that time, partly due to the controlling attitude of the director. That person has now moved on and has been replaced by someone else. The energy in the entire facility has suddenly changed to positive instead of negative.

Looking back I can see that most of the negative energy was in response to how people were treated. It was like dust bunnies under the bed; if they aren't taken care of they just get bigger and bigger.

I was very happy when school was out and my job ended. It was a real struggle to finish out the year. By the last day I just wanted to get out of there! I commented to another employee that I wanted nothing more to do with the facility unless things changed. Little did I know that they were about to.

I probably won't consider working there again because I AM RETIRED, but I am still listed as a volunteer and have said yes to helping with the Halloween Carnival for the 5th year in a row. I wasn't going to help, but because the attitude of the person who asked me has changed to positive I said yes.

It would be nice to adopt the way Buddhists think and not react to negative energy, but it is hard to just let things go. That reminds me of a very helpful quote: "The loudest noise you can make is to quietly walk away". It is all in the/your attitude after all.

Read what you write

Since my last part time job ended in May I decided that I was really retired and firmly stated it in a previous blog post. I think it was called "This is it!"

Yesterday I noticed an ad for a part time activity assistant at our local Good Samaritan Center. I could do that I confidently said to myself, forgetting that I am now retired. I proceeded to copy down the web address and collected my resume, a list of additional volunteer jobs and current references. All set, I began to fill out the online job application.

Everything was going well, I thought, until I tried to send the document. In bright red letters I was informed that there were errors in the form. There was no mention of what those errors might be so after checking it I asked my son to also look it over. He found a couple of minor things that might be the problem and I corrected them,thinking now it would send. Well it didn't!

One nice thing about living in a small town for over thirty years is I know people and I happen to know both the HR Director and the Activity Director and as a matter of fact the Facility Director. I decided to stop by Good Sam to state my situation. After making my problem known I decided to ask a couple of questions about the job. I wasn't thrilled to be told that it was for the evening shift, which is either 4:00-8:00 or 5:00-9:00, 5 days a week, including weekends. I also wasn't happy finding out that everything has to be electronically recorded.

Even though I use a computer daily and have written several books, a newspaper column and a blog, I am not electronically inclined. I'm having trouble operating my new trac phone. Do I really want to learn how to use another new electronic instrument? I don't think so!

The hours weren't to my liking either, when I realized that planning and cooking dinner is something I really like to do. Since my son has been living with me I have enjoyed re-visiting recipes I haven't used in years and digging up new ones. It has also been nice having another human to eat with. Do I really want to give that up? No!

When I went to bed last night I sent out a message to my guides that I really needed some guidance on this matter. When I woke this morning I had pretty much decided that I should have not only read, but believed, what I wrote earlier. I am retired!!

Be careful what you ask for

Yesterday a facebook friend and fellow author, Sadie Lydon, offered to share one of her books with me. I had never read her work and was curious. I had no idea what genre she wrote in. When she emailed her book, Lou Lou: Book One of the Front Row Series she warned me that it was all about "sex, drugs and rock-n-roll in the early '80s. I replied that I had been reading a lot of Kindle books lately so nothing really upsets me.

I started reading and found that she was right about the content. Although I appreciated the fact that it was well written and had a nice flow I really wanted less explicit sex and more story content. I kept asking myself, what else can the characters do? Even though I had, in my life, been married for 40 years to two different (wrong) men I realized my sex life left a lot to be experienced.

For some strange reason reading this book kept prompting memories that I had lived through. Even though my life path is certainly nothing like Lou Lou's I can relate to her and completely understand what motivated her. We both had controlling over critical mothers who were unable to offer enough love, encouragement or support. That sort of "lack" can often lead to bad decisions on the part of the child as she/he matures. It can also cause growing up way too fast.

After finishing the book this morning I followed my own writer's intuition and Googled Sadie Lydon, author. I found a wonderful quote that I would like to share because it is exactly how I feel about what I write.

In her words: "Watching my books circulate by word of mouth is like watching my children move around in life as they discover where they want to be and who they want to spend their time with."

I recommend this book, which is available on Amazon.com, to anyone who enjoys erotica; and even though I would still caution being careful what you ask for, sometimes it is worth it to take a step in a new direction.

P.S. Just so you know, I also shared my book Journey of an Enlightened Egotist with Sadie.

The wait is over

Four months ago I offered my oldest son a place to live because he could not find a job in the state that he lived in and was going to be forced to surrender his house to the mortgage company. There have been many times in those months when I thought, what in the hell did I do?

Today I see that I wasn't so stupid after all. The wait is over. He has finally secured a job that could lead him to a new career, if he just remembers to be grateful for what he has been given.

If he had not taken me up on my offer he would be homeless, jobless and moneyless.

I am also grateful that I have been given an opportunity to help but not control his life. There is a big difference between the two. I have had to hold my opinion many times in the last four months, which is difficult for a recovering controlling parent.

Perhaps the wait is over and I can finally let my children go and concentrate on my own life.