This morning I was walking with a friend I have known for over 30 years. We haven't been buddy buddy friends, but this is a small town and it is hard not to have a pretty good idea of what a person's life is like; unless you live in a cave. Although our challenges have been very different we are both still here.
We have been talking a lot lately on our morning walks about those challenges. This morning she remarked, "You have had a hard life." My response was, "I don't think it has been hard compared to other people I know."
She is not the first person to make that statement about my life and I have been thinking about that all day. I keep toying with, "Why don't I think her statement is true?" That's a very interesting question.
Of course, I have had tough challenges, every one living a human life has. That's why we are here isn't it? If life was supposed to be a piece of cake I would be residing on a puffy white cloud somewhere out there. I can see it now, my bare feet dangling over the side watching the world go by. Oh wait, spirits don't have feet, actually they don't even have bodies. Okay they do when they want us to see them.
I think the main reason I don't think my life is so bad is because I have finally realized that the things that I have survived were supposed to happen. The relationship, financial and health issues I have successfully dealt with were all part of the big picture to lead me right where my feet are at this moment.
So this afternoon as I look around my life I see that I have survived it all I am a very happy camper and I am grateful that I am still here!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
On the Wings of an Angel
I truly hope this is the last post I will write about the stress of my daughter not speaking to me for almost a year.
A friend who must be part angel gave me the last puzzle piece to put a positive spin on the situation today. I did not think that was possible.
I knew I had to let go of this problem, but I didn't know how. I knew that every time I tried to get my daughter to see reason and failed I was adding more negative energy to an already hurtful problem. I knew that there is supposed to be a lesson here, because every experience is just that. I am not stupid, but just because I knew these things doesn't mean I knew how to accomplish them. It is pretty hard to let go of a daughter that I spent six years praying that I would conceive.
The lesson with this child is and always has been that I cannot live another's life. She has her path and I have mine. Although they will probably always touch they are not the same.
Talking with a friend this morning I said the distance is made bigger because I have to drive past her house every time I go to town. I felt like God/Source was intentionally adding fuel to the fire. Knowing it will be sometime before she is going to allow me back in her life caused pain I couldn't deal with.
My friend pointed out that the universe was giving me an opportunity to change negative energy to positive energy. Her advice, "When you drive by her house blow her a kiss and wish her well. The universe will balance the indifference if you contribute positively to the situation."
I am taking Priscill's advice because I know it came on the wings of an angel.
A friend who must be part angel gave me the last puzzle piece to put a positive spin on the situation today. I did not think that was possible.
I knew I had to let go of this problem, but I didn't know how. I knew that every time I tried to get my daughter to see reason and failed I was adding more negative energy to an already hurtful problem. I knew that there is supposed to be a lesson here, because every experience is just that. I am not stupid, but just because I knew these things doesn't mean I knew how to accomplish them. It is pretty hard to let go of a daughter that I spent six years praying that I would conceive.
The lesson with this child is and always has been that I cannot live another's life. She has her path and I have mine. Although they will probably always touch they are not the same.
Talking with a friend this morning I said the distance is made bigger because I have to drive past her house every time I go to town. I felt like God/Source was intentionally adding fuel to the fire. Knowing it will be sometime before she is going to allow me back in her life caused pain I couldn't deal with.
My friend pointed out that the universe was giving me an opportunity to change negative energy to positive energy. Her advice, "When you drive by her house blow her a kiss and wish her well. The universe will balance the indifference if you contribute positively to the situation."
I am taking Priscill's advice because I know it came on the wings of an angel.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
A Little Secret
As the rest of the world living on Social Security holds their breath that they might not get their check in August I am not worried because I have a secret. I know I am not getting a check next month and it makes me chuckle a little.
Last March and April Social Security erroneously deposited money which amounted to one and 3/4 months benefits into my checking account. Following my intuition and advice from loyal friends I didn't spend it. I opened a savings account and stuck it there for safe keeping until SS figured out what they had done.
I pretty much knew the money wasn't mine, but I decided to play around with them for awhile. They eventually sent me a letter wanting it back. Instead of agreeing I asked for reconsideration, which took a couple of months of their time to comply with. Having survived a battle with them previously I knew what to expect.
Finally in June I received another letter asking for a ton of original documents verifying my income and holdings. In return I sent it all back to them with a message that I was done and they could recover the money from my benefits. I also suggested that the next time they decided to put money in my checking account they had better make sure it was actually mine.
So, this is why I already know I will not receive my Social Security check in August. Unlike other U.S. citizens all I have to do is transfer it from one account to another. Of course, if Congress continues to play their disgusting game of holding its citizens hostage that is an entirely different matter.
Last March and April Social Security erroneously deposited money which amounted to one and 3/4 months benefits into my checking account. Following my intuition and advice from loyal friends I didn't spend it. I opened a savings account and stuck it there for safe keeping until SS figured out what they had done.
I pretty much knew the money wasn't mine, but I decided to play around with them for awhile. They eventually sent me a letter wanting it back. Instead of agreeing I asked for reconsideration, which took a couple of months of their time to comply with. Having survived a battle with them previously I knew what to expect.
Finally in June I received another letter asking for a ton of original documents verifying my income and holdings. In return I sent it all back to them with a message that I was done and they could recover the money from my benefits. I also suggested that the next time they decided to put money in my checking account they had better make sure it was actually mine.
So, this is why I already know I will not receive my Social Security check in August. Unlike other U.S. citizens all I have to do is transfer it from one account to another. Of course, if Congress continues to play their disgusting game of holding its citizens hostage that is an entirely different matter.
Red Flags
The two words that got my attention this morning were RED FLAGS. They were posted on Facebook along with the admonition to take them seriously.
I started thinking about that in relation to my serious blood pressure spike earlier this month. I could have taken that to mean death is coming soon beware. That reminds me of when my doctor announced in 1989- you have uterine cancer. My first thought wasn't death. My first thought was- so what are you going to do about it?
Since my current red flag alert I have put myself first, something I need to do from now on. I have tried everything that came up to reduce stress and relax. I have tried to let go of assuming responsibility for the problems that others have created for themselves. I have made an effort to let go of the people who are adding to my stress. I have tried to rewire my brain on the way I react to negative energy and I am still working on this one because it is a biggie.
Adding to the positive side I have opened my eyes to the glorious gift of friendship from people who showed concern and offered help. Even if I didn't take their suggestion, because it wouldn't work for me, their concern and offer was what was important.
This month has been a struggle to finally put myself first and to accept things as they are, not as I wish them to be. If I had not been given that red flag I would have just coasted along doing the things I have always done. Thank God for RED FLAGS and thank God for my guides who made me pay attention!
I started thinking about that in relation to my serious blood pressure spike earlier this month. I could have taken that to mean death is coming soon beware. That reminds me of when my doctor announced in 1989- you have uterine cancer. My first thought wasn't death. My first thought was- so what are you going to do about it?
Since my current red flag alert I have put myself first, something I need to do from now on. I have tried everything that came up to reduce stress and relax. I have tried to let go of assuming responsibility for the problems that others have created for themselves. I have made an effort to let go of the people who are adding to my stress. I have tried to rewire my brain on the way I react to negative energy and I am still working on this one because it is a biggie.
Adding to the positive side I have opened my eyes to the glorious gift of friendship from people who showed concern and offered help. Even if I didn't take their suggestion, because it wouldn't work for me, their concern and offer was what was important.
This month has been a struggle to finally put myself first and to accept things as they are, not as I wish them to be. If I had not been given that red flag I would have just coasted along doing the things I have always done. Thank God for RED FLAGS and thank God for my guides who made me pay attention!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Up and Away
It is strange how a couple of words can stick in my brain and lead me to take positive action. In this case the two words were helium balloon. For most people that would probably bring to mind a party of some kind or the act of children inhaling the helium to create an amusing voice.
For me it brought back a memory of watching a dramatic episode of "Desperate Housewives". Gabriel had just lost a baby that she didn't think she even wanted until it was gone. A caring man took her to a park, gave her a helium balloon and told her to imagine it was her pain and when she was ready let it go.
I had been having problems lately letting go of life long blocks that appear to be interfering in my current life. I have on occasion written down issues I no longer wanted to deal with and burnt them, giving them back to the universe. I decided perhaps it was time to try something different with two thoughts that had followed me since I was a child.
One bright morning, which offered a slight bit of wind, I bought two helium balloons. I knew the colors I would purchase before I got to the store. One was green and one was bright pink. They seemed to compliment each other in a strange way, which got my attention.
I labeled the green one unworthy of wealth and the pink one unworthy of love.
I drove to a large grassy field and walked to the center, silently contemplating what I was intending to do next. Looking up at the bright blue sky with its white puffy clouds, I one by one let each balloon go, continuing to watch them as they climbed higher and higher and away from me.
As I drove away I noticed that I felt lighter and more peaceful. Perhaps this positive act of faith will do the trick once and for all and rid my current life of negative thoughts that are no longer needed.
For me it brought back a memory of watching a dramatic episode of "Desperate Housewives". Gabriel had just lost a baby that she didn't think she even wanted until it was gone. A caring man took her to a park, gave her a helium balloon and told her to imagine it was her pain and when she was ready let it go.
I had been having problems lately letting go of life long blocks that appear to be interfering in my current life. I have on occasion written down issues I no longer wanted to deal with and burnt them, giving them back to the universe. I decided perhaps it was time to try something different with two thoughts that had followed me since I was a child.
One bright morning, which offered a slight bit of wind, I bought two helium balloons. I knew the colors I would purchase before I got to the store. One was green and one was bright pink. They seemed to compliment each other in a strange way, which got my attention.
I labeled the green one unworthy of wealth and the pink one unworthy of love.
I drove to a large grassy field and walked to the center, silently contemplating what I was intending to do next. Looking up at the bright blue sky with its white puffy clouds, I one by one let each balloon go, continuing to watch them as they climbed higher and higher and away from me.
As I drove away I noticed that I felt lighter and more peaceful. Perhaps this positive act of faith will do the trick once and for all and rid my current life of negative thoughts that are no longer needed.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Stop Fighting
On my journey to find a more peaceful relaxing relationship with myself I have run into some interesting information. From the book The Happiness Trap came the helpful message, when you are dealing with negative thoughts and emotions, don't fight them; accept them and let them be.
Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of grief by following this advice. The more you struggle with anything negative the bigger it becomes. When you just acknowledge its presence it will most likely diminish in one way or the other.
When I think back to all the years I previously spent trying to fight severe anxiety attacks I can clearly see how true this advice is. Too bad I didn't know it at the time. Back then I took the stance that there had to be something wrong with me. Why couldn't I just make the attacks stop? What did I do to deserve this terrible experience? I now think the answer to that was nothing. It was just part of my journey. One diversion that seemed to work at the time was to slowly count backwards from 100.
Lately I have been trying out several techniques to learn to relax more. I checked out a website offering very simple Yoga instructions for beginners. One suggestion that attracted me was the Shava Asano position, so simple anyone can do it. Basically you just lie down face up on a mat or carpet, close your eyes and imagine that your whole body is relaxed.
I have, at the suggestion of my chiropractor, scheduled several appointments for massage therapy, which I am looking forward to. It has been years since I gave myself this treat.
In addition to this indulgence, a very generous friend is giving me the gift of an intuitive reading with a skilled healer she has worked with. This will be a first for me and I am both excited and a little bit nervous. I am also very grateful that my friend cared enough about my welfare to offer this gift.
So together with practicing better breathing habits I am well on the road to a more relaxing existence. I am finding it less and less necessary to fight negative energy. I am gradually learning to let it be and focus on positive energy.
Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of grief by following this advice. The more you struggle with anything negative the bigger it becomes. When you just acknowledge its presence it will most likely diminish in one way or the other.
When I think back to all the years I previously spent trying to fight severe anxiety attacks I can clearly see how true this advice is. Too bad I didn't know it at the time. Back then I took the stance that there had to be something wrong with me. Why couldn't I just make the attacks stop? What did I do to deserve this terrible experience? I now think the answer to that was nothing. It was just part of my journey. One diversion that seemed to work at the time was to slowly count backwards from 100.
Lately I have been trying out several techniques to learn to relax more. I checked out a website offering very simple Yoga instructions for beginners. One suggestion that attracted me was the Shava Asano position, so simple anyone can do it. Basically you just lie down face up on a mat or carpet, close your eyes and imagine that your whole body is relaxed.
I have, at the suggestion of my chiropractor, scheduled several appointments for massage therapy, which I am looking forward to. It has been years since I gave myself this treat.
In addition to this indulgence, a very generous friend is giving me the gift of an intuitive reading with a skilled healer she has worked with. This will be a first for me and I am both excited and a little bit nervous. I am also very grateful that my friend cared enough about my welfare to offer this gift.
So together with practicing better breathing habits I am well on the road to a more relaxing existence. I am finding it less and less necessary to fight negative energy. I am gradually learning to let it be and focus on positive energy.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Just Breathe
Breathing should be a natural thing we do the moment we are free of the birth cannel. There is a right and a wrong way to breathe. Somewhere along my path I began taking shallow breaths and at times even holding my breath. I know I am not the only one who has this problem, but now that I am conscious of it I need to take steps to end the habit.
I did a little research on the subject and would like to share what I found. First from the website of Dr. Weil I found a couple of simple techniques that I liked. They can be done anywhere and nobody needs to know you are doing them. Practice makes perfect!
Exercise #1 (4-7-8)
Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper teeth and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth and around your tongue.
Exhale completely through your mouth.
Close your mouth and inhale through your nose to a mental count of 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 7.
Exhale through your mouth for a count of 8.
Now repeat the sequence three more times.
Exercise #2 (breath counting)
Gently close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Breathe naturally, quiet and slow, count one to yourself as you exhale,
The next time you exhale count two and so on to five.
Then begin a new cycle.
Try to do this exercise for 10 minutes.
A fun exercise from a friend was “take three breaths, say something nice about yourself, smile, take another breath”. You can just keep going until you run out of nice things to say about yourself.
Of course, one of the most suggested is deep breathing for several minutes, focusing on your breath and letting other thoughts simply drop away. A little harder to do for those who have difficulty relaxing. Again practice makes perfect.
Another friend shared this wonderful quote from yoga master, Krishnamacharya:
“Inhale and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation and God remains with you. Exhale and you approach God. Hold the exhalation and surrender to God.”
I also found this appropriate piece written by Leo Babauta:
Breathe.
Breathing can transform your life.
If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.
If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.
If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.
If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.
If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.
If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it longer.
If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down and enjoy life more.
So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.
Ending this post is a quote from the book The Road, by Cormac Mc Carthy
“The breath of God was his breath, yet though it pass from man to man through all time.”
I did a little research on the subject and would like to share what I found. First from the website of Dr. Weil I found a couple of simple techniques that I liked. They can be done anywhere and nobody needs to know you are doing them. Practice makes perfect!
Exercise #1 (4-7-8)
Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper teeth and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth and around your tongue.
Exhale completely through your mouth.
Close your mouth and inhale through your nose to a mental count of 4.
Hold your breath for a count of 7.
Exhale through your mouth for a count of 8.
Now repeat the sequence three more times.
Exercise #2 (breath counting)
Gently close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Breathe naturally, quiet and slow, count one to yourself as you exhale,
The next time you exhale count two and so on to five.
Then begin a new cycle.
Try to do this exercise for 10 minutes.
A fun exercise from a friend was “take three breaths, say something nice about yourself, smile, take another breath”. You can just keep going until you run out of nice things to say about yourself.
Of course, one of the most suggested is deep breathing for several minutes, focusing on your breath and letting other thoughts simply drop away. A little harder to do for those who have difficulty relaxing. Again practice makes perfect.
Another friend shared this wonderful quote from yoga master, Krishnamacharya:
“Inhale and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation and God remains with you. Exhale and you approach God. Hold the exhalation and surrender to God.”
I also found this appropriate piece written by Leo Babauta:
Breathe.
Breathing can transform your life.
If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.
If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.
If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.
If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.
If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.
If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it longer.
If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down and enjoy life more.
So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.
Ending this post is a quote from the book The Road, by Cormac Mc Carthy
“The breath of God was his breath, yet though it pass from man to man through all time.”
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