Happy Thanksgiving

 To all my readers I would like to wish you a very peaceful Thanksgiving! 

What color is this?

My second husband (now deceased) and I were married for 27 years. He rarely said anything about what I chose to wear, but one day he told me he didn't like me wearing purple. Who asked you, I thought! From that day on it gave me pleasure to purchase items in purple. Recently I bought myself a purple sweatshirt with two cute kittens on the front, sitting in matching winter mittens. Today I wore it for the first time to exercise. On my way home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items. As I walked through the produce department I was stopped by an employee who went to school with my second son. I had to laugh when out of the blue he said, "I like you in purple." It made my day!

Time moves on

Time does fly by when you aren't paying attention. I just realized it has been 20 years since I decided to stop smoking. In all that time I have never once had a desire to pick up the nasty habit. The decision to stop started an avalanche that has not stopped. Today I am sharing a piece I wrote to encourage others to make the same move. Enjoy!

            I KILLED MY BEST FRIEND

For a variety of reasons I grew up having very little self-esteem. When I graduated from high school I had no clue what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. I had been an average student who finished school because it was expected. At 19 I was a very lonely person who desperately needed a best friend.

The friend I choose for the next forty years was three inches tall, smelled bad, controlled my life and led me in the direction of poor health. The relationship was what would be considered abusive today. At the beginning no one warned me of danger and in all those years nobody offered to help me let go of my destructive companion.

There were of course, those who shook their heads and fingers at me making rude comments about how disgusting this relationship was. They probably thought they were helping, but they only made me angry and caused me to stubbornly refuse to let go.

When I was 62 years old I looked in the mirror and did not like what I saw. I decided I did not deserve to be controlled by an object that could not possibly move from my hand to my mouth without my help. I realized I was the only one who could end the relationship and I have never been sorry that I did.

Believe me when I say, the only way you will successfully stop smoking or any other negative addiction is to become self centered and care about yourself. Whoever you are, believe that you are a valuable person who deserves the very best life has to offer.

There are many people around you who want to help. The hardest thing you have to do is learn to care about yourself and be willing to accept their help. I know from personal experience that once you do that the rest is a breeze.

Do you really want a best friend who is three inches tall, smells bad, controls your life and is leading you in the direction of poor health and perhaps death? If the answer is no, follow my example and give yourself permission to live the healthy life you deserve.

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Do I exist?

This morning I am wondering if I am an invisable person who really does not exist in the real world.

I have been writing this blog since 2009 and for the most part no one cares to comment on my posts. What in the hell is going on with that? I can plainly see by the stats that people read what I write. Are they invisible too I wonder?

I have had an online writing group for over a year, which now includes 24 people. Only a handful of those members care to participate in writing on the prompts. Are the majority invisible too?

I have three E-books currently offered on Amazon.com. Even though some have sold, there are almost no comments on my work. Are these people invisible too?

Most of my biological family does not even care to acknowledge me. Perhaps there really is such a thing as a stork delivery and I had nothing to do with their being here?

Three years ago I attended my ex-husband's memorial service. Even though I have papers to prove we were married for 27 years, my name was not even mentioned by my daughter, who was in charge of the service. See, there is that stork thing again!

My grandchildren (with the exception of my oldest grandson) do not communicate, not even to acknowledge gifts I have sent. If I don't really exist, I can save a bunch of money on future purchases.

In a world that doesn't seem to know I exist, I am beginning to wonder if I really do.

Playing a game

Once a week I have been sharing a photo for my online writing group, "Write On", for members to caption. This morning I posted one that was left over from my local writing group, that no longer exists. In that group we were asked to pick a photo and write about it. This is the one I chose. It is also the one I shared with my online group today.

My caption was: "We are not meant to see into the future."

What I originally wrote about the picture was:

This picture reminds me of the path one takes on their human journey. The varied leaves with their unique colors and shapes are the experiences we have. Some are dried as they represent memories long buried in the past. Some are still fresh. The rocks and water represent the obstacles on our path. As in our life journey, the furthest view is slightly unclear.

A new question

Do wonders ever cease?

For the last couple of days I have been having pain in my lower back that is also causing problems in my leg and even sometimes my knee. I finally made an appointment with my chiropractor for this morning. I am used to stiffness in the left side of my neck. It is just something I have learned to deal with, but this was different.

I made a comment to my chiropractor, who I have been going to for several years, that I didn't really worry about my neck problems anymore. She asked me if I had ever been involved in an accident. A light flashed in my memory as I remembered that we were once rear ended, about forty years ago. My daughter was in her car seat and I was in the passenger seat sitting next to her. I knew what was going to happen so I turned sideways to put my arms in front of her, protecting her from going forward. It is the reason I first began seeing a chiropractor. I had injured my left neck. My current doctor said that probably caused a life long injury, which caused regeneration in my neck as I got older.

Then I began wondering about the spinal stenosis I have been diagnosed with. Most likely a contributing factor is seven years standing on the cement floors at Walmart for six hours straight, doing food demos. 

After all this time thanks for giving me a heads up! 

Goodbye mercury

Mercury retrograde only has a couple more days to screw up our communication. I must say it has not caused me much of a problem. In fact things seem to be taking a turn for the better. Although I am not looking forward to the upcoming holidays.They have become a lonely time for me since my family has dwindled down to almost nothing.

Thanksgiving is shared with my oldest son, who usually cooks the turkey, while I cook everything else. It gives us a lot of leftovers since it is just the two of us. This year I am planning to invite a couple of friends who are alone. Waiting to see how that turns out.

Christmas is another matter. For me it is the saddest day of the year. I miss having family to cook for. Most of my family now lives in other states and the ones who are here, with the exception of my oldest son, don't care to include me in their plans. As someone said to me this morning- that's their problem. And it is!

I try to the best of my ability to do for others. I just finished crocheting another dozen baby caps and a blanket for the first baby of 2000, born at Cibola General Hospital. I always make fudge and share it with friends, especially with the husband of a deceased friend.

This year I had fun ordering outfits for my youngest great granddaughter, who was two in September. I have never meet her, but I enjoy seeing pictures of her on Facebook. She looks like a handful!

Even though the holidays are not my favorite time of the year, I try to make the best of them.