Fear is a terrible thing

For the last few weeks every time something terrible happens like a person or a group gets killed the media blows it out of proportion. It's really hard not to develop fear, but fear is a terrible thing.

Living in a small town in New Mexico it isn't likely that events would end up on the national news, but who knows, anything is possible, especially with the media's tendency to make sure the population knows every detail of what they consider news.

I grew up in the State of Washington where everything was not only green but pretty darn peaceful. The only thing I was afraid of was my family not having enough money to pay bills and buy food. At the time I didn't know we were actually considered poor. Not being able to afford things some of my peers had was just the way it was. We really never went hungry. When I was around six I survived major surgery, but I still was not afraid, even after hearing a nurse say I probably wouldn't survive.

When I was thirty five, with two young children, I survived my first divorce. I had only a high school education, but I  was not afraid. When I was fifty two I survived cancer with no fear. When I was sixty two I repeated the divorce experience and this time I was alone, after 27 years. I was still not afraid to face what the world offered.

Since 2001 when the twin towers were blown up fear has grown. My last grandchild was born in New York on 9/8/01 about 400 miles from the tragedy. In the last fifteen years it seems it has been one negative thing after another. The events/deaths over the last few weeks have been horrible and it doesn't seem that they will stop anytime soon.

During the 2013-2014 school year I was a recreational aide at our local family center. I was responsible for a dozen or two children who spent time in the computer lab. It was not unusual for me to imagine just what I would do if someone with a gun entered the building and decided to kill anything moving. The fear got worse because my grandson is still in school. With God's help he will graduate unharmed in 2020. 

With the Republican and Democratic conventions coming up I have a feeling that something horrific is going to happen. I hope not but if it does I'm sure the media will do their utmost to inform the public of every detail. 

Today I am wondering what can I as one person do to help? As I was posting things that came across my Facebook news feed I realized that the only thing I can do to help is be sure I am only sharing positive posts. I have decided I will not buy into the fear that is being spread around by anyone, because fear is a terrible thing.

As a step in the right direction I want to share this thought.

A bull in a china shop

Yesterday I met a really good example of a bull in a china shop. Her name is Shirl and she joined our small group of retired souls for lunch at a local eatery called, Kendalben Barbeque. I have never met anyone who more perfectly illustrates this saying.

Before our group of five was even seated the new member took over and never let go of the reins. She had been invited by one of our regular members and was a new face to the rest of us. Before we finished our meal we knew everything about Shirl, from how many husbands she had gone through and what their problems were to what she eats when she is at home. It was more than we needed to know. At least it was more than I needed to know.  I left feeling as if I had been enclosed in a closet and forced to inhale bad air. Get me out of here!

Our guest is 88 years old and  led a colorful life as a dancer before joining her only son in our little town of Grants, New Mexico. In her opinion there is nothing to do here. She is looking for a social life to fit in. I wish her good luck with that.

This experience reminded me of one that happened several years ago during the time I was leading a writing group for older residents. I had invited a man to join us who I knew was recently retired and enjoyed writing. Part of the purpose of our group was to share what we had written on a chosen subject, for instance spring. The man arrived with a pile of papers under his arm. Without being asked he began reading and reading and we thought he would never stop. I didn't want to be rude so I just let him go on and on. Thank goodness he never came back.

Now that I think of it I also had a similar experience while teaching a writing class for children. There was one young lady who had convinced herself that she was writing a book and would have no problem getting it published. Again the children were supposed to write about a particular thing. and then read their work. When it came time for reading this budding author gave us more than we needed to know. She started to read a portion of her book instead of what she had been asked to do. I finally stopped her and said please stop this was not the place to share your book. The rest of the class was grateful that I pulled the plug on her.
 
Next month our group will enjoy the outdoors as we take part in a potluck lunch at our local Riverwalk. It was my idea because it is my favorite place to be in all of Grants.

A day to celebrate oneness

Besides the birthday of my two felines,  today is the 17th anniversary of my divorce from my husband of 27 years. I look back and I think wow I have done good and I need to celebrate my life choices! I am free to do whatever I feel like doing. No strings!

Those 17 years have not always been smooth and I have often thought, "if only I had someone to help me", but the Universe always responded, "you can do it yourself". ...and I did!

I faced every challenge I was given. I survived health issues, relationship issues and financial issues and I came out on top. Yay for me!

Over the years many souls have been cut from my life because as the saying goes, If you aren't helping you are part of the problem. All of my life I have wondered just why I have felt alone, even in a crowd. Now I understand it was the Universe teaching me that I have more strength than I realize. It also taught me through trial and error to trust in my Creator and the angelic assistance that has always been there.

Today I do look back in awe and gratitude at my accomplishments and like a TV character of the past I ask, "Did I do that?"

Happy birthday kitty kats

Happy birthday Ebony age 12 and her son Smokey age 11. Like any mother Ebony rules the house and still occasionally swats her baby when she thinks he needs being reminded of that fact.

Ebony had a difficult time giving birth to her four kittens. Smokey was her first born and the next day was joined by three siblings, two black like mom and a tiger stripped, which was given to my grandson. I felt sorry for Smokey and I kept him. The other two were later given to friends.
       

 This is my favorite picture of Smokey and has received a lot of attention over the years.
            

Kissed by an angel

This beautiful poem came across my news feed on Facebook today. I shared it with my friends. It received no response. Not being one to easily give up I am offering it to my readers. To me it seems a perfect response to the almost unbelievable mess our country is in at the moment. I think the last line says it all. I would be pleased to know what you think. Don't be shy.

One Inspirational Poem

(From the website Kissed By an Angel)

One song can spark a moment,

One flower can wake a dream.

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam lights a room.

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,

One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what’s true.

One life can make the difference,

You see it’s up to YOU!

Why do you listen?

A little while ago I eavesdropped on a Facebook conversation between a couple who were having a conversation about race and the current state of affairs in America.

Female: The nation is out of control

Male: I agree, but what do we do?

Female: We start by listening to understand instead of listening to respond.

What a great answer. I decided to use it to write a blog post. I would only add the word learn. (Hope you don't mind Alaina.)

I am very grateful to have the privilege of having a computer and access to a world I would have never known if I hadn't taken a leap of faith and plunged right in several years ago. As the result I have friends all over the world of every color, race, religion and belief. The only time we don't see eye to eye is when one of them tries to shove what they believe down my throat. I am perfectly willing to listen, understand and learn from their experiences, but my life is mine and I will live it as I see fit.

In addition to FB I also enjoy the Kindle books that Amazon offers. Many of them are free. Two books in particular that taught me things I would never have imagined were:I  Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou and Desert Flower by Waris Dirie.

I had no idea what it was like being a female of color. I also had no idea what Ms. Angelou's life was like as a child and young woman. The things she endured as a young black woman should never have happened to anyone. How she grew up to be the revered woman she was has to be the work of the Creator.

The second book woke me up to learn about a young woman from Somalia who became a super model and United States Human Rights Ambassador. It is a true story detailing the barbaric circumcision of young African women. I had no idea this existed. Her job as an ambassador is to spread the word and end the custom which is still going on today. It's hard to believe she says she still loves her country.

I believe Alaina is right: Listen to understand/learn, not to respond.

Who do you trust?

If you make a habit of lying I have no more time for you in my life. It doesn't matter if you are a relative, friend or acquaintance. I'm done with you. I realize that we all tell little lies once in a while, but there are those who lie so much that they actually believe what they are saying. When a person's actions don't match their words over and over I have no more time for them.

To continue to accept negative behavior from anyone is beyond all reason.

Many have been taught that Jesus always turned the other cheek. Well, we are 100% human and as such, we are allowed to turn our backs when others treat us with disrespect. I believe the loudest noise you can make is to quietly walk away.

Trust is a wonderful powerful word that should be reserved for those who have demonstrated by their actions that they are worthy of our loyalty.

I found a couple of interesting quotes on the subject of trust, worthy of sharing.

Better to trust a man who is frequently in error than one who is never in doubt.~Eric Semiarid

Beware of anyone who says they know, trust me they don't, or they wouldn't have to say they did.~Harvey Fierstein

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.~Golda Meir

And finally a quote from Dr. Benjamin Spock who wrote the book, Baby and Child Care in 1946. His words were read and trusted by millions of new mothers all over the world. His advice: "Trust yourself, you know more than you think you do."