I am always happy when I have the opportunity to teach my young grandson a life lesson. Isn't that what grandparents are for? I know that's what mine did for me.
Sunday I got a phone call with, "Grandma can you get me minutes for my Trac phone? I only have 3 minutes left and my mom said to ask you."
After briefly being annoyed because my daughter and her husband are financially in a much better position than I am right now, I told him I had a card that I was going to use for my phone, but I would give it to him. I purchased his phone several months ago so we could communicate and to teach him responsibility.
When he came to my house to pick up the phone card I asked, "What are you going to do to repay me"
I received silence and a slightly puzzled look from him so I suggested that he could help me with my weeds sometime during the next week. He agreed and came last night with a friend who lives in the neighborhood. A flash of Tom Sawyer popped up in my vision. I knew I wasn't going to get a whole lot of work from these two, but it was the idea that counted.
I reminded the friend that he had volunteered to help with the weeds so I wasn't going to pay him for that, but I agreed to give him a little money if they would also wash my car.
For $3, popsicles and a couple bottles of water I got some weeds taken care of and a clean car. Cheap labor you say- come on they are 10! Even though the friend offered to share his monetary payment with my grandson, Colin told him to keep it.
This morning I was thinking how proud I was of him for understanding the situation and not complaining. I gave him a dollar to buy a snack at our family center where he spends his summer days. I also told him I was very proud of him for how he had acted. He gave me a hug, the best payment of all!
I think everyone benefited from the lesson.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Dad
Happy Father's Day
Well dad it has been 45 years since you left earth this time around. A lot has happened in my life since then. It is sad that because you chose to marry a woman who definitely dominated your marriage your role as a parent was somewhat diminished. Everything happens for a reason and I guess that was just the way it was supposed to be.
The nicest memory I have of you occurred when I was around six. We had just been informed that I was going to have mastoid surgery to take care of an ear infection I had been induing for several days. I was allowed to stay home until midnight before being admitted to the hospital. Being the cook in the family you told me I could have anything I wanted for dinner. I chose my very favorite, small fried fish called smelt, which I loved. I don't remember what kind of food I had in the hospital, but I still remember my last meal.
Other memories are of the doll house you constructed for me one Christmas, brushing my hair and the time I had a bad sunburn and you lovingly applied lotion to my back. The funniest memory I have is when you jumped off the diving board at the lake and our cocker spaniel Skippy, named because he resembled peanut butter, jumped off right behind you. As the years moved on you were the one who came to my house and taught me how to cook my first turkey. That could have been to prevent guests from getting sick!
It is unfortunate that as we get older our memories both good and bad fade and get distorted. I am sure you did many nice things for me while you were alive I just don't remember them; partly because negative memories tend to take up their space.
So on this special day I wish you a Happy Father's Day, wherever you are.
Love,
Barbara Loure`
Well dad it has been 45 years since you left earth this time around. A lot has happened in my life since then. It is sad that because you chose to marry a woman who definitely dominated your marriage your role as a parent was somewhat diminished. Everything happens for a reason and I guess that was just the way it was supposed to be.
The nicest memory I have of you occurred when I was around six. We had just been informed that I was going to have mastoid surgery to take care of an ear infection I had been induing for several days. I was allowed to stay home until midnight before being admitted to the hospital. Being the cook in the family you told me I could have anything I wanted for dinner. I chose my very favorite, small fried fish called smelt, which I loved. I don't remember what kind of food I had in the hospital, but I still remember my last meal.
Other memories are of the doll house you constructed for me one Christmas, brushing my hair and the time I had a bad sunburn and you lovingly applied lotion to my back. The funniest memory I have is when you jumped off the diving board at the lake and our cocker spaniel Skippy, named because he resembled peanut butter, jumped off right behind you. As the years moved on you were the one who came to my house and taught me how to cook my first turkey. That could have been to prevent guests from getting sick!
So on this special day I wish you a Happy Father's Day, wherever you are.
Love,
Barbara Loure`
Friday, June 15, 2012
I have people
My regular readers have no doubt noticed an absence in my writing. I have been dealing with some serious pain that has made it impossible to focus on writing. This is the second time in my adult life when after I have asked to be led to someone that can help it has happened. Now I have people who are working together to find the underlying cause of my pain and erase it. Yay for my people!
I have my wonderful Natural Therapeutic Specialist (massage therapist) Lisa, my acupuncturist Elene and recently added, James whose specialty is his program Pattern Release Energetics. The last two I actually met in 2000 under completely different circumstances. Apparently there was a whole lot of spiritual learning I needed to do before their universal gifts would benefit me. Back then I probably could not have accepted healing based on energy. I certainly would not have bought the idea of distance healing.
One of my gifts is the ability to coordinate, which I am using to keep my people informed with what they each have found and are doing and of course, my reactions to the whole picture. We are making progress. Although my pain is still present it is much better and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am trying not to feel like a lab rat that the universe has been playing games with, but sometimes that thought does briefly pop into my mind. Oh well I am here to serve.
Today's post is not an excuse for my absence or a plea for sympathy. It is simply an effort to get you up to date. Now that I have people working together to bring back the healthy person I am meant to be I am sure I will be writing more often.
I have my wonderful Natural Therapeutic Specialist (massage therapist) Lisa, my acupuncturist Elene and recently added, James whose specialty is his program Pattern Release Energetics. The last two I actually met in 2000 under completely different circumstances. Apparently there was a whole lot of spiritual learning I needed to do before their universal gifts would benefit me. Back then I probably could not have accepted healing based on energy. I certainly would not have bought the idea of distance healing.
One of my gifts is the ability to coordinate, which I am using to keep my people informed with what they each have found and are doing and of course, my reactions to the whole picture. We are making progress. Although my pain is still present it is much better and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I am trying not to feel like a lab rat that the universe has been playing games with, but sometimes that thought does briefly pop into my mind. Oh well I am here to serve.
Today's post is not an excuse for my absence or a plea for sympathy. It is simply an effort to get you up to date. Now that I have people working together to bring back the healthy person I am meant to be I am sure I will be writing more often.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Who I Am
My writing group is in the process of sponsoring a writing contest for area kids in grades 3-6. Coming up with a topic they could all relate to was challenging. They all have one thing in common, they are kids growing up in Cibola County, NM. Any writer at some point has been given the advice, write about what you know. Combining these two facts led me to come up with "Who I Am" as the topic for the contest. The group thought it was perfect.This week our writing group decided it was only fair that we use this topic as our current writing challenge. The following is my offering of Who I Am.
In the words of the Reba McIntyre song Survivor, "Who I am is who I want to be" and it took 74 years to get to that point. The first 70+ years were spent trying to be who everyone else thought I should be; enough already that isn't me.
As in the song, I am also a survivor, with my own unique experiences. I have survived three major surgeries, including one for cancer, marriage to two men with severe negative addictions, a forty year addiction of my own to nicotine, giving birth and raising three children and all the stress that these experiences created.
My current life began in Ketchikan, Alaska long before it was a state. It gradually moved along a path to Tacoma, Shelton, Olympia and Seattle, Washington, dipping south to Downey and Santa Ana, California before settling in Cibola County, New Mexico in 1976. These moves left me with no real place to call my hometown. My adopted hometown is Grants, NM.
Creative genes have been very strong in my family for several generations and include: horticulture, photography, sketching, general crafts, cooking, sewing, needle point, knitting, crochet and scrap booking. At different times I dabbled in most of them until I found my niche in creative writing. Where this particular talent came from I have no idea., perhaps recessed genes from a past life or relative. I only know it is my passion and it makes me very happy, especially when what I write inspires others.
When I think of how my love for the written word has developed my mind goes back to the journalism class I took in high school. Not being one the the "in" crowd I was never given an opportunity to write for the school paper. Instead I was put in charge of accounting where I learned how to properly write and sign a check. Thinking of my teacher, Mr. Hall, causes me to wonder; if he could see me now would he realize what he overlooked back then?
Being overlooked was pretty much the story of my life no matter how much I tried to please others. That scenario continued until the day I realized that if I wanted people to believe in me I had to first believe in myself. Life experiences, lessons offered by others and personal efforts to find the person inside have unveiled the real me I always wanted to be.
In the words of the Reba McIntyre song Survivor, "Who I am is who I want to be" and it took 74 years to get to that point. The first 70+ years were spent trying to be who everyone else thought I should be; enough already that isn't me.
As in the song, I am also a survivor, with my own unique experiences. I have survived three major surgeries, including one for cancer, marriage to two men with severe negative addictions, a forty year addiction of my own to nicotine, giving birth and raising three children and all the stress that these experiences created.
My current life began in Ketchikan, Alaska long before it was a state. It gradually moved along a path to Tacoma, Shelton, Olympia and Seattle, Washington, dipping south to Downey and Santa Ana, California before settling in Cibola County, New Mexico in 1976. These moves left me with no real place to call my hometown. My adopted hometown is Grants, NM.
Creative genes have been very strong in my family for several generations and include: horticulture, photography, sketching, general crafts, cooking, sewing, needle point, knitting, crochet and scrap booking. At different times I dabbled in most of them until I found my niche in creative writing. Where this particular talent came from I have no idea., perhaps recessed genes from a past life or relative. I only know it is my passion and it makes me very happy, especially when what I write inspires others.
When I think of how my love for the written word has developed my mind goes back to the journalism class I took in high school. Not being one the the "in" crowd I was never given an opportunity to write for the school paper. Instead I was put in charge of accounting where I learned how to properly write and sign a check. Thinking of my teacher, Mr. Hall, causes me to wonder; if he could see me now would he realize what he overlooked back then?
Being overlooked was pretty much the story of my life no matter how much I tried to please others. That scenario continued until the day I realized that if I wanted people to believe in me I had to first believe in myself. Life experiences, lessons offered by others and personal efforts to find the person inside have unveiled the real me I always wanted to be.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Remembrance Day
I always have mixed feelings about Memorial Day. Although it is sad to think of the many who have lost their lives on the fields of battle I do not believe war solves anything. In recent years those in any branch of the service are there because it is where they want to be with full knowledge that their human life could be ended at any time.
How about we have a special day for the millions of children and adults who were innocent bystanders to the chaos and lost their lives just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Perhaps it could be called Remembrance Day.
I never knew my maternal grandfather because he was killed in a war when my mother was ten. The event caused her an enormous amount of psychological pain that lasted her entire life. Today it causes me to think about the children who are dealing with this same kind of trauma.
On this Memorial Day I prefer to use it to remember all of the souls, no longer here, who have interacted with my life. Many of them were not biologically related, but offered a lesson that helped shape my present being. They didn't carry guns or the knowledge needed to blow people up. They simply walked their path as role models; sometimes teaching me what I wanted to be or do and sometimes what I did not want to be or do. These are the souls I remember on this Remembrance Day 2012.
William Ott Johnston 1886-1921
How about we have a special day for the millions of children and adults who were innocent bystanders to the chaos and lost their lives just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Perhaps it could be called Remembrance Day.
I never knew my maternal grandfather because he was killed in a war when my mother was ten. The event caused her an enormous amount of psychological pain that lasted her entire life. Today it causes me to think about the children who are dealing with this same kind of trauma.
On this Memorial Day I prefer to use it to remember all of the souls, no longer here, who have interacted with my life. Many of them were not biologically related, but offered a lesson that helped shape my present being. They didn't carry guns or the knowledge needed to blow people up. They simply walked their path as role models; sometimes teaching me what I wanted to be or do and sometimes what I did not want to be or do. These are the souls I remember on this Remembrance Day 2012.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
The mirror knows best
The people in your life are a reflection of where you are today. They change from time to time depending on how fast you are learning and evolving. To see the reflection in your own mirror just look around at the people you are attracting with your energy.
It makes me laugh to think of the people that I was determined to have in my life and it never happened. At the time I thought there was something wrong with me. Wrong! There was something right with me. Today I do not desire or need any of them anywhere near me. They did their job by teaching me who I do not want to be by their wonderful example.
Among these souls were pathological lairs who believed their lies and thieves who had no respect for property belonging to others. I think the worst were the liars, because honesty is a number one priority in my life. I have had plenty of experience with souls who intentionally hurt others just because they can. How anyone could be happy on that path is beyond me. The ones who fall into the category of passive aggressive are in a class of their own. They are the great pretenders and manipulators. There is even a personality disorder just for them.
Today as I count the special people in my life I see a group of kind, loving, generous, helpful souls and I am grateful for the positive reflection. The mirror knows best.
It makes me laugh to think of the people that I was determined to have in my life and it never happened. At the time I thought there was something wrong with me. Wrong! There was something right with me. Today I do not desire or need any of them anywhere near me. They did their job by teaching me who I do not want to be by their wonderful example.
Among these souls were pathological lairs who believed their lies and thieves who had no respect for property belonging to others. I think the worst were the liars, because honesty is a number one priority in my life. I have had plenty of experience with souls who intentionally hurt others just because they can. How anyone could be happy on that path is beyond me. The ones who fall into the category of passive aggressive are in a class of their own. They are the great pretenders and manipulators. There is even a personality disorder just for them.
Today as I count the special people in my life I see a group of kind, loving, generous, helpful souls and I am grateful for the positive reflection. The mirror knows best.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Unofficial adoption
Sometimes we connect with a child, not ours by birth, who becomes as close if not closer than our own children. My life has been blessed with such a relationship. Her birthday is the same day as my natural daughter's, only six years later. Mayka is now 26 and I am very proud of her accomplishments. As a columnist I wrote about her life and she has been referred to in my books and other writings. She was my next door neighbor when she was young and I have watched her grow into a beautiful young woman whom I think of as my unofficial adopted daughter.
As high school graduation is this week I would like to share the story I wrote about Mayka in the Cibola County Beacon in 2003. The end of the story is: because of her determination, hard work and focus she realized her dream and is now a trauma nurse, a job she truly adores. Now for the middle of the story.
The Next Step
Mayka is a spirited young woman who knows who she is today and who she wants to be tomorrow. She is a member of Grants High School graduating class of 2003 and is prepared to take the next step into her future.
One of Mayka's favorite sayings is, "What you put in is what you get back."
She does not understand students who do not begin preparing for graduation when they start high school. Many of her freshman peers did not graduate. Mayka was on the Honor Roll for four years and is one of twenty students included in Who's Who Among American High School students.
She has such a full life it would make most people tired just thinking about it. During her senior year she was secretary of the Anchor's Club, a member of the Spanish Club, Teens Needing Teens and Mesa. She has done volunteer work for Cibola General Hospital, Roberta's Place and is a member of the 2003 American Red Cross Disaster Team. Mayka also has an up-to-date CPR certificate.
When Mayka was not in school or volunteering she worked at one of three part time jobs. She worked nights at the West Theater, conducted demos for a marketing company at Wal-Mart and worked part time at Bealls. She paid all of her personal expenses such as gas and car insurance, her cell phone and clothing. She said she did not mind because it prepared her for leaving home to attend college. It taught her to budget her time and her money.
"Both of my parents have always been there for me. They taught me to share and appreciate others. No matter how busy their lives are my family always has dinner together. After dinner we talk about our day, especially things that may be bothering us", she said.
She has four younger siblings; two sisters sixteen and nine and eight year old twin brothers. Family members are very supportive of each other and their individual interests.
Mayka learned at the young age of eight how to cook, clean, wash clothes and care for her siblings. Nobody asked her to, she wanted to do it. Her parents just accepted her natural mothering tendencies. She feels that her early family experiences made her strong and taught her to be responsible. It also may have been the first step to her future goals.
Mayka said, "Caring for others makes me feel good."
This is one of the reasons she decided to go into nursing. In preparation she took classes at NMSU Grants Branch during her senior year along with her regular high school classes. She has been gathering information from the Cibola General Hospital staff to help her decide between the two-year nursing program offered at UNM in Gallup and the four-year program offered in Albuquerque. she will be taking classes in Gallup this to finalize her decision.
Mayka originally wanted to be a doctor, but participating in the National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine in Atlanta, Ga in the summer of 2002 changed her mind. Witnessing a heart operation on a child convinced her she would probably become too attached to her patients to be a doctor. Mayka knows what she wants and what steps she needs to take to make it happen.
Mayka will be coming home this weekend to offer support to her youngest sister who will be graduating from Grants High School on Friday. I am excited that I will get to visit with my unofficial adopted daughter.
As high school graduation is this week I would like to share the story I wrote about Mayka in the Cibola County Beacon in 2003. The end of the story is: because of her determination, hard work and focus she realized her dream and is now a trauma nurse, a job she truly adores. Now for the middle of the story.
The Next Step
Mayka is a spirited young woman who knows who she is today and who she wants to be tomorrow. She is a member of Grants High School graduating class of 2003 and is prepared to take the next step into her future.
One of Mayka's favorite sayings is, "What you put in is what you get back."
She does not understand students who do not begin preparing for graduation when they start high school. Many of her freshman peers did not graduate. Mayka was on the Honor Roll for four years and is one of twenty students included in Who's Who Among American High School students.
She has such a full life it would make most people tired just thinking about it. During her senior year she was secretary of the Anchor's Club, a member of the Spanish Club, Teens Needing Teens and Mesa. She has done volunteer work for Cibola General Hospital, Roberta's Place and is a member of the 2003 American Red Cross Disaster Team. Mayka also has an up-to-date CPR certificate.
When Mayka was not in school or volunteering she worked at one of three part time jobs. She worked nights at the West Theater, conducted demos for a marketing company at Wal-Mart and worked part time at Bealls. She paid all of her personal expenses such as gas and car insurance, her cell phone and clothing. She said she did not mind because it prepared her for leaving home to attend college. It taught her to budget her time and her money.
"Both of my parents have always been there for me. They taught me to share and appreciate others. No matter how busy their lives are my family always has dinner together. After dinner we talk about our day, especially things that may be bothering us", she said.
She has four younger siblings; two sisters sixteen and nine and eight year old twin brothers. Family members are very supportive of each other and their individual interests.
Mayka learned at the young age of eight how to cook, clean, wash clothes and care for her siblings. Nobody asked her to, she wanted to do it. Her parents just accepted her natural mothering tendencies. She feels that her early family experiences made her strong and taught her to be responsible. It also may have been the first step to her future goals.
Mayka said, "Caring for others makes me feel good."
This is one of the reasons she decided to go into nursing. In preparation she took classes at NMSU Grants Branch during her senior year along with her regular high school classes. She has been gathering information from the Cibola General Hospital staff to help her decide between the two-year nursing program offered at UNM in Gallup and the four-year program offered in Albuquerque. she will be taking classes in Gallup this to finalize her decision.
Mayka originally wanted to be a doctor, but participating in the National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine in Atlanta, Ga in the summer of 2002 changed her mind. Witnessing a heart operation on a child convinced her she would probably become too attached to her patients to be a doctor. Mayka knows what she wants and what steps she needs to take to make it happen.
Mayka will be coming home this weekend to offer support to her youngest sister who will be graduating from Grants High School on Friday. I am excited that I will get to visit with my unofficial adopted daughter.
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