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Sunday, February 26, 2017

Speak up before it's too late

Yesterday ancestry.com sent me a message that I had several new hints I needed to check out. So I did and I am very happy I made that move. The last time I visited the site was 2013 and I had compiled a family tree with my maiden name. A lot of new information has been added since then making me wonder if it's another lesson in patience. Yuck I do not like that word!

It may sound strange but until a few years ago I did not know the names of either of my grandfathers, who died before I was born. My family just didn't care to share information. I finally know the rest of their stories or at least part of it. I also picked up a few more relatives in the form of uncles and an aunt I didn't know even existed. Of course, they are no longer residents of earth. Oh well it's the thought that counts I guess.

I did know some things about my Swedish born paternal grandfather from a previous search. In addition, I found out he married my grandmother in 1903 in the Dillard Hotel in Seattle, Washington. He was 36 and my grandmother 19. That's a big age difference. They settled in Tolt, now called Carnation, Washington.The name was officially changed in the late 1990s to honor the Carnation Dairy. You know the home of the contented cows! For years it went back and forth and no one knew what to call their town. I always thought it was interesting that my grandfather died the year I was born, but nobody ever talked about him. It makes me happy to know that my grandparents are both buried in the Tolt (oops Carnation) cemetery.

The biggest find of my new search was information about my maternal grandfather. I didn't even have the right death date and was never able to find out where he was buried. Success!! I now know he died in 1918 while serving in the U.S. Army. Information from his sister said he died of influenza and he is buried in Bayview Cemetery in Bellingham, Washington. I already knew he was drafted in August 2017  but my previous search ended there. I imagined that he died fighting in another country and maybe was blown up or something. It was a relief to discover that I was wrong. I also found out he had four brothers and a sister that I knew nothing about. My grandmother remarried in 1921 and I guess that ended any further talk about my biological grandfather. This search did bring up a question I probably won't ever get an answer to. Apparently my grandparents had an "unnamed son" when my mother was two years old. I have no clue if the child was stillborn, died at birth or was given up for adoption. It would have been nice if my family had spoken up once in awhile!

Just before I accessed ancestry.com I pulled an oracle angel card just for the heck of it. The card was abundance. Just goes to show it doesn't always mean money. At least the angels aren't afraid to speak up!  

Saturday, February 25, 2017

One thing always leads to another


While remembering the quote, "You will never understand something until it happens to you" I began thinking of my daughter who will turn 38 this fall. I was slightly older than that when I discovered I was pregnant with her. I was 41when she was born. After two much older boys I was thrilled to find out I was finally carrying a girl. She went on to have her only child when she was 22. She then had a device planted in her body because she decided she didn't care to deal with the pain of delivering anymore children.

Knowing that our Creator sometimes does some crazy things I began fantasizing what if she suddenly found out she was pregnant? The thought made me laugh because things like that happen all the time. We both knew someone whose husband had a vasectomy and ended up giving birth to twins. I know my grandson would love it because he never wanted to be an only child.

Anyway this fantasy led to my thinking about quotes to live by and I remembered something a former massage therapist said to me during a treatment. It was, "you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders". Do I do that? Maybe!

Following this trend of thought I used my trusty computer and looked up some quotes to live by, which I will now share. As the saying goes- "if the shoe fits etc."

The strongest people are not those that show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about.

Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when you're trying to be everyone else's anchor.

Just because I'm strong enough to handle pain doesn't mean I deserve it.

I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Never apologize for trusting your intuition- your brain can play tricks, your heart can be blind, but your gut is always right.

It always seems impossible until it's done.

...and one of my favorites:

Some people really suck- avoid them!
 

   

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Message from another place

Today I was leafing through some old posts I had written. I often have the reaction, "wow that's really good, did I write that?" Yup it looks as if I did. Sometimes I decide to re-post it because it has a message that seems to be coming from another place. So here goes- enjoy and thank you Shaunualee.

Sitting on a park bench at the Riverwalk my eyes settled on a young woman walking barefoot along the edge of the pond, periodically looking into the water. Her hair got my attention because it was a rich reddish blonde. When lit by the sun it almost glowed. I followed her path until she was in front of the bench I was sitting on.

Roxanne and I exchanged greetings and she asked if she knew me, thinking I looked familiar. I told her no, but she might have seen my photo in the newspaper because I was a columnist. She sat down and we began a conversation that lasted over an hour.

She said she had dropped out of school and had her first child at a very early age. She admitted that drugs and poor choices in male companions had influenced her life until recently when she dumped the negativity. She said her immediate plans were to move to another town and get an education in cosmetology.

Having investigated several different paths to achieve oneness with her Creator, she felt she was now spiritually enlightened. I hoped her personal growth was "real" and not induced by drugs.

During the course of our talk her two boys, 11 and 5, were amusing themselves without much supervision from their mother. She would occasionally ask the older boy where his brother was. This bothered me because her body was there, but her mind was somewhere else. I strongly suspected this was normal mothering procedure for her. I wondered if she knew how much her negative experiences had probably affected her children. Did she truly understand that she is a role model for them?

This young woman reminded me of another whose spirit had once crossed my path. She was about the same age and coloring as Roxanne and also dreamed of a career in cosmetology. Her education was interrupted when she discovered at about age 19 that she was expecting a child.

Soon after the birth of her daughter she was diagnosed with bone cancer. She lost her courageous battle for life two years later. She never had a chance to raise her precious child. I believe if her spirit could speak to Roxanne she would say; "quit screwing around, take charge of your life and live every day as if it were your last because it very well could be". 

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Up or down makes a difference

Sometimes things happen in my daily life that are just plain funny when I have had a chance to digest them. Yesterday was one of those days. When we don't have all the facts our conclusions can be off just a bit.

For the last few weeks I have been going to a chiropractor to try to get my neck to stay aligned. Granted part of the problem is that it has been way too long since I visited her office and therefore It is going to take awhile for the vertebrae to settle down. It is slowly getting better but patience has never been one of my positive traits.

Yesterday she asked me if I spent a lot of time on the computer and I said yes. She replied that looking down for long periods of time was probably contributing to the problem. I agreed and said I had recently been forcing myself to get up and move around. I am also aware that sitting for long periods is not good for my back, or anyone's for that matter. Long formed habits are hard to break.

When I got home and sat down at my computer I realized my chiropractor must think I have a laptop. I have a PC and don't look down to see the screen, I look up or out. I began to think about what I do or have done that would cause me to look down for long periods. I believe I have it figured out! It's all that crocheting I did in the weeks before the holidays. It caused my neck to be pretty much rooted in one spot for hours at a time. Although it's nice to make things to give to others it is not very smart to intentionally do something that I  now know is contributing to a serious physical problem.

It looks as if I am going to have to find a new way of looking at things because up or down does make a big difference.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Happy birthday Ejay

In early December 2012 I saw a picture of a cute little white poodle in the local paper. He was featured in the ad for the animal shelter. I had been thinking about getting a dog and decided to stop by and check this one out.

Dogs of all sizes had been part of my history. I knew I didn't want a big dog or a tiny version that yaps a lot. This dog was a perfect size and very friendly as he struggled to get my attention. My very first dog as a child was a peanut butter colored cocker spaniel.

The gate keeper let the dog out so I could have a better view. I was told I could take him home for a couple of days to see if he would be a good fit. If it didn't work out I could bring him back. I decided to take a chance and see what would happen. I was told his name was E.J.and the lady who had him couldn't pay the fee to get him back after he had run away. I felt bad about that, but there was nothing I could do about it. He had been in the shelter for three weeks waiting for someone to rescue him.

As I put him in my car I noticed a piece of coat hanger wire attached to his fur. The first thing I did when we arrived at my house was to remove it. The following picture was taken on his first day in his new surroundings.


After deciding to keep him we went to the vets to check him out. He was healthy and I was told he was a Poodle Maltese mix and about 10 months old. After getting his shots our next stop was the groomer. His fur was very matted and needed serious attention. He looked like a different dog when I picked him up and the groomer had given him a treat to chew on and added a scarf around his neck.

To make a long story short Ejay had found a new home. I wasn't exactly sure when he was born but knew it was sometime in February so I gave him Valentines Day as his birthday and he is now five years old.  His favorite things to do are chasing rabbits and birds in the yard, harassing his feline older brother and sister and being anywhere that I am. Oh and begging for food that anyone is eating.

Happy birthday Ejay!
 



Saturday, February 11, 2017

A grape, an orange and a life

Everyone at some point compares who they are with someone else. I think age and possibly gender determines who that will be. It could be a parent, grandparent, sibling, child, friend, teacher and the list goes on and on. It is like comparing a grape and an orange. They are both edible fruit but that's about it.

We get ourselves into so much trouble comparing our life to other lives. No two people ever have the same experiences or even see things the same way. It just is not possible.

I often think of my oldest grandchildren who were born identical twins. Their birth was by C-section so obviously one was removed from the womb before the other. One went home with parents while the other remained in a hospital incubator, waiting to gain weight. From the very first day of their lives their experiences were totally different. At one time it was difficult to tell them apart, but as they reached adulthood that changed dramatically. Today their lives are totally different and it is sometimes difficult for me to remember that they are twins.

We are all given our own life to live and it really is ridicules to compare it to anyone else's life.

A couple of years ago I acquired a new female friend whose life experiences seemed very close to mine. It was a little eerie at times. I got into the bad habit of believing that because something was going on in her life it compared to something going on in mine. I would check with her before making important decisions. Lately my vision has improved and I can clearly see that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. It is easy to get caught up in believing that someone else is better at living our life than we are.

Many times I have temporarily been sucked into comparing myself to another. I have allowed this comparison to cause me to feel less than and at times even stupid. I once wrote "God doesn't make junk". I keep forgetting that simple quote.

Forty years of my life were spent allowing husbands to live my life for me. I suppose it wasn't a waste of time because the two marriages produced three children who produced four children, who have produced two and a half more. (One is on the way.)

Each was born with the ability to be a whole being who does not need to be compared to anyone else, living or dead. 


Friday, February 10, 2017

Moving on

To continue with this adventure: yesterday after going through some old papers and tossing many of them I ordered new business cards. I had tried to do this once before but something got screwed up on the website and I gave up on the idea.it probably just wasn't time.

I am really happy with what I chose to order. I eliminated my physical address as it really wasn't needed. I simply used my name, blog address, phone #, email and the title motivational author. It took me a few minutes to decide whether to use writer or author. Well, I am a published author so that settled that! This is what it now says.

www.subconsciousmessages.blogspot.com
-------------------------------------------------
Barbara Loure` Gunn
    motivational author
505-287-7278
begunn37@q.com

This morning I was curious as to why I chose a pink spring blossom background. I whipped out my trusty Dream Book by Betty Bethards to see what the word blossom meant. What it said was: a job well done, you have sown and reaped beauty, a beautiful expression of self. Oh and pink means love. Perfect I thought!

Thinking about a job well done my mind immediately went to my three grown children. Even though two of the three do not communicate that might be a good thing after all. It proves they can take care of themselves and their families and don't need me for anything. The third, although temporarily living with me, also lives his own life. Luckily my house is large enough to provide more than enough space for us both to enjoy freedom. The arrangement also provides back up if anything should go wrong. Therefore I'm thinking, job well done fits perfectly.

So it is time to put the past in the past and do something different.

Still thinking and waiting for my human mind and my soul mind to let me know just what I am supposed to be doing now.



Thursday, February 9, 2017

Change is in the picture

After posting the previous information about making and donating baby caps I quickly crocheted about a dozen and took them to the maternity ward today. I was met by the person in charge who said, "Oh my goodness I already have a backlog". She shared that they just haven't had many babies born in the last couple of months.

I had to laugh because lately I have had a problem with my neck and need to back off of crocheting because it is not helping the problem. I was relieved that I could do exactly that and not feel guilty.

On the way home I was thinking about what else I could do to use my talents. In the past I have sewn little dresses for Africa, but I can't do that anymore as Grants no longer has a store that sells fabric. That really is a shame as there are many craft people who live here. Older people who no longer drive have a problem getting to Albuquerque or Gallup.

In the past I have also worked at Future Foundations keeping an eye on the kids in the after school program. I have never been so disrespected in my life by staff as well as some of the children. I couldn't get paid enough to do that again.  It made me wonder what goes on in people's houses nowadays.

I have also directed two writing groups, one for senior citizens and one for children. Although that was fun it was hard to keep the participants interested on a regular basis. Everybody seems to have too many other things to do and they don't want to be pinned down.

I'm still thinking about what to do with the free time I have on my hands. I do spend a lot of time on Facebook but with all the current political posts I am slowly losing interest. I may take a break for awhile.

For some strange reason today I ordered new business cards from a company I had used before. I have no clue what I need them for, but they are very upbeat with a background of spring blossoms. When my human mind and my soul mind get together perhaps I will find out what the new change in the picture is going to be. Until then I will just use my imagination and see what pops up.

Later

Monday, February 6, 2017

Just a little bit

If you have a little bit of time, a little bit of baby yarn and a little bit of a desire to do something nice for your community I have an idea. I have been told it puts a smile on the face of every new mother at your local hospital when they receive one.

I know I have posted this picture before, but I am making another stab at inspiring others to join me. I took a little break during the holidays for other projects I was working on but now I am back to the new born babies. This time I am including the simple instructions.



Use H (U.S.) crochet hook and baby yarn

Round 1:Ch 2,12 DC in first ch, join with slip stitch
Round 2:Ch 2; DC in same stitch, 2 DC in next and each stitch around, join
Round 3:Ch 2, DC in same stitch, 1 DC in next,( 2 DC in next, 1 DC in next) around, join
Round 4:Ch 2, DC in same stitch, (1 DC in next,1 DC in next 3) around, join
Round 5-10:Ch 2, DC in each stitch around, join
Round 11:Ch 1, SC in each stitch around, join, finish off
For variety round 11 can be made with contrasting yarn.

1-2-3 crochet!!

Note: The reason these caps have ridges between rows is that they were crocheted into the back loops instead of both loops. Either way is fine.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Agree to disagree

This morning I was sitting in my chiropractor's office while her assistant applied a treatment to my sore neck. We tried to start a conversation when I suddenly remembered a Facebook post about Mexico's President planning to build a tunnel under President Trump's proposed wall between the US and Mexico. I thought it was funny, she did not respond.

 I replied, I could be talking to a Trump supporter. To which she replied, Yes you are.

She then stated she thought he was going to be a good president. My next statement was, I feel he will be assassinated. She then replied, " felt the same way about Obama". I said, "I did too, during his first term".

We then went on to other matters, discussing a variety of things including, children, grandchildren and guns. There was no yelling, cussing or calling each other names. We were simply expressing our individual opinions.

We parted agreeing to disagree about some things and wishing each other a good weekend.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Born outside the U.S.



Back in December 1937 Alaska was not a state. It was a Territory of the United States, purchased from Russia in 1867 for 7.2 million dollars. Alaska was pretty much overlooked until 1896 when a major gold deposit was discovered, causing it to become the gateway to the Klondike gold fields. It became the 49th state in1959. 

Growing up I got a kick out of announcing to my peers that I was born in a U.S. territory not a state. That wouldn’t be so funny today with the ban on aliens. Both of my parents were born in Washington State so I guess that made me and my younger brother US citizens however you look at that.

I have no memory of living in Alaska and very few pictures. In addition to my parents, my maternal grandparents also lived there at the time. I have no clue why. The only thing I know for sure is that we all moved to Tacoma, Washington somewhere around 1940 Again I have no memory of the boat trip.

This morning my curiosity was aroused with all the negative stories in the news about Trump banning people and I wondered just why did we make that move? I googled what was going on in the US around 1940. Oh right- World War II happened! That must have been a pretty scary boat trip all the way from Alaska.

The best picture in 1940 was Gone with the Wind. It was the very first motion picture I saw. The only thing I remember was the scene where the green velvet drapes were made into a dress. Come on I was only three or so! 

By the time the war was going strong we had moved to Olympia, Washington and my parents had a small restaurant called the Cracker Box. The memory that stands out is listening to the jukebox and the Andrew Sisters singing Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree. My parents also had an Army friend who ate napkins just to amuse us.

That’s about it for today. Everyone’s life has to begin somewhere.