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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Fighting/attracting germs

I have not had a cold for so many years that I forgot what it feels like, but for the last week I have been fighting a battle to stay well. I immediately looked up the natural suggestions for dealing with a viral infection because I detest taking pills. I have found that most of the time they do more harm than good.

Making a trip to the store I stocked up on juice, fruits and vegetables and of course, chicken noodle soup. Taking a suggestion from the Mayo Clinic website on colds, I stopped drinking coffee, which I already knew dehydrates and went back to drinking generous amounts of green tea. I also held off physical exercise for a couple of days. I figured my body had enough to do just fighting off unwanted germs.

I really never had a lot of congestion, just enough to be annoying and get my attention.  Tissues and cough drops are not usually a part of my everyday paraphernalia.

After writing my post "After the storm" yesterday I started feeling better. It caused me to realize that the reason my body had allowed a virus to enter was because it was too busy fighting off negative mental energy I had yet to deal with. The body is a mighty miraculous machine, but if it is overloaded with stress it is not going to work very well. There was no doubt in my mind that I had caused germs to take over what is usually a very healthy body. 

I remembered an experience while recovering from surgery in 2011. For almost two weeks a tube running from my nose down to my stomach was pumping out yucky purple stuff. One morning I asked the nurse to explain where it was coming from. She said, "Everywhere, your body has been hurt and it is weeping."

Since I know my body is the temporary place of residence for my soul my job is to keep it well by not allowing stress of any kind to take over.



Wednesday, February 27, 2013

After the storm

When the storm is over, whether it is actual or only produced by my imagination, what is the next logical step? What happens immediately after the storm?

After a deep breath is taken and possibly a few left over tears are shed for what could have been, the assessment starts. I look in my mirror and note that on the outside I look pretty much the same as I did before all the turmoil of the storm.

What about on the inside? The part that is often hidden or camouflaged from the rest of the world. Is it still in tact? Did it weaken or grow stronger as the result of the challenge of standing up and fighting for the right to live in a way that does not offend my soul?

Have I left the battle ground clean with no left over anger? Am I able to see that the storm, although  turbulent at times was a necessary element for me to remember just how strong I am and help me to erase previous fears that have kept me a prisoner in my own life?

As I pick myself up and look around, after the storm, am I still able to see and feel gratitude and love?

Yes I AM!

To end this post I am sharing a video of a lovely song titled After the Storm by Mumsford & Sons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3RP1VbUaaA



Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A mole in the hand of God

Since February of 1999 my life has been tossed and turned by two of the most unscrupulous men any woman would ever want to meet. I have asked God to help me understand why me. Today I know the answer and I am taking it as a huge compliment to my strength of character and to my direct unwavering connection to my Creator. I am a mole in the hand of God.

For some time it has been clear to me that my life has been much like a smorgasbord of experiences that have allowed me to take a picture of things from the inside and share them with others. I am certainly not going to rehash everything that has happened over 75 years. You will just have to take my word for my take on my life.

First there came the local hypnotist, who although did help me end a 40 year nicotine addiction,  also played mind games with me for years. I was not the only one. It was his mission to seek out females, who had self-esteem issues and take whatever he could manage from them.  When the time was right he then dropped each of them like a lead balloon, laughing all the way to his next target.

Ahaa, but being the very talented writer that I am I got even. The first half of my first book, Wake Up!, is all about him and his self-centered games. I also did not hesitate to counteract his moves by blabbing what I knew to everyone we knew and did not leave out local television interviews on the subject of holistic charlatans. I felt I owed it to all the women he had "screwed" along his way. I must admit I enjoyed every single second I spent publicly harassing him. You might say it was my payment. It also appears that the universe added its own brand of punishment. Eventually everyone he loved the most died, one by one, and he recently suffered a brain tumor- karma?

Number two on my list is my most recent escape from hell. Because I am not only a very good writer, but I have also gained some smarts of my own along my path, I will neither identify him by name nor the group he represents.

This unscrupulous being arrived through the door of a mutual Facebook friend back in 2009. Actually, because of all the posts I have written about him I don't think I need to go into a lot of detail. Let's just say he belongs to a "so called" religious group that has received a whole lot of recent publicity involving a movie star and his ex-wife who finally woke up. Got the picture?

Please keep in mind that I have now been informed that I am a mole in the hand of God and my experiences are meant to be passed on to help others. Cool huh?

This particular experience is now over, except for the homework assignment of researching the word cult. All I have to say is, "I am very grateful that God had a firm grip on my hand during this experince"

Here we go. All cults have a leader, a self taught all knowing being who regards his belief system, ideas and practices as the only Truth, the ultimate law. The motto for any cult like group could be "us against them".

Since this leader couldn't possibly take care of everything alone (after all he only thinks he is God) one of his first acts is to clone himself. Now we have all these "little" imitations of the real thing running around looking for other souls to enlist as new members. Some of them, if they prove they can follow without questioning, have a great chance of becoming a clone of a clone. Wow what an honor that must be!

The entire group is made up of psychopaths. They have no empathy, guilt or remorse- ever! In their world  the end always justifies the means. All cult members speak the same language and use the same words repeatedly. Words such as; communication, key, one word, and us. They freely invite all questions from critics, but all answers are pre-recorded and practiced until they are automatic.

From my personal experience I know some of how cults operate. First the clone looks for a soul to target who isn't totally sure of who he/she is. The person may have gone through some recent traumatic experience that upset their basic balance. Just like Mighty Mouse the clone swoops in to the rescue. The game begins like a tug of war, the clone on one side of the rope and the target on the other.

Any mind game strategy is acceptable with the goal being to shut down critical thinking; the ability to think clearly and rationally by examining, analyzing, questioning and challenging issues. The one that really got my attention was reverse psychology, just a bit high school! Anyone who dares to disagree with the clone is immediately punished by being ignored until they reconsider the error of their ways and return to playing nice. It is the most effective way to hurt someone with low self-esteem.


The clone obtains personal information about the target from any source he can get his hands on, including friends, to use in the game. In my case I provided a copy of so much of my writing that my personal "little" clone could have written his own book on my life. Maybe that's exactly why I often thought he was psychic.

In conclusion the reward for submission is: Sorry I can't go into that because the hand that was holding mine pulled me back at the last minute. I can only guess what happens to those souls who have not been chosen to be a mole in the hand of God.

Spirit photo "Hands" provided by my friend Terry Eccles









Monday, February 25, 2013

Who do you blame?

When life gives you negative experiences that test your evolvement who do you blame when you buy into them?

My first reaction upon surviving a three year relationship with a well trained Scientologist was of course, to blame him. He was the bad guy right? Well perhaps he was, but the buying part was all my doing. I knew right from the start who he was. The information was never kept from me, but I chose to ignore it.

I didn't believe it mattered. I allowed myself to be manipulated by him over and over. He would communicate via email for a time and then suddenly disappear for long periods. When he would return I  was very grateful and treated him like a long lost love back from the war.

Shortly after the first of this year our online relationship heated up. Positive things were happening in my life that I believed he had a lot to do with. Among other things my writing improved to the point that people were noticing. I began to believe that he and I had shared at least two of the past lives that I have a memory of. Details fit like a glove. I even convinced myself that we are twin flame soulmates because our minds were so in tune with each other. I never gave any thought to the possibility that his training just might have had something to do with that.

Wow what a man! I gave him full credit for the changes in my life. It was never him! The changes were due to the hard work that I did myself. What it boils down to is I gave my power to him because I didn't believe in myself. Now I do and this phony relationship is over!

The final straw came today when I began reading the Scientology book, Self Analysis, written by the founder of the group. My "friend" had insisted I needed to read it to "fix myself". I didn't get far into this jewel before I realized it is, in my opinion at least, a bunch of Bull Shit. I also realized that the man was not far behind. He has been permanently dropped from my life. His idea of communication and friendship was pretty much his way or no way. It is no longer my way.

This experience led me to do a little research on the symptoms of giving your power away some of them are:
You doubt yourself
You look for approval and validation, giving the person the power to hurt you
You forget you know what you are doing and that you are good at it
You allow yourself to be intimadted
You do not honor and share your truth
You give up the right to be treated with respect

These things can be reversed when you:
Learn to say NO and mean it
Stand up for yourself
Ask for what you need and want
Spend time with people who are truly supportive and considerate
Believe in yourself without attachment to anyone else

I do realize that I have no one to blame but myself for the things that happened and hopefully I will never have to go through another experience like this one again.







Opening up anew

Several years ago I ordered business cards to help promote the creative projects I was working on at the time. They were very basic. I remember that my mother liked them because they were green and she said it represented money. It didn't quite work out that way though. Eventually they were used up and I began making my own on my computer, a few at a time, so that I could change them when I wanted to. Again they just offered basic information and were a little on the boring side.

Because of recent developments I decided to order new business cards. Something told me I needed to take my writing and possibly even my photography a little more seriously now. Not sure why, but I have learned to follow my intuition, even when I don't really know the reason. I have lost track of the number of times I have thought, oh that's why I have that or did that. Often as the light goes on it is pretty comical.

I found the website Vistaprint and began creating something brand new from scratch. First I had to choose a business name and settled on Cibola Images. Cibola is the NM County I live in. I had used it in the past and it still fits for both my free lance writing projects and photographs. Next I scrolled through a multitude of logos until I landed on the perfect image. It was a simple pink lotus blossom. I knew as soon as I saw it that it was the one. I am very happy with the way the cards turned out.
Yesterday I began thinking about the logo I had chosen and out of curiosity did a little research on the pink lotus blossom. I was not disappointed with my findings. First of all pink is generally accepted as representing love.

The lotus plant belongs to the Nelumbo genus and has long been associated with purity, rebirth and divinity. It has significant meaning in several older religions. In Buddhism it is a sign of purity of speech, body and mind; in Hinduism beauty; associated with the sun in Egyptology and has been incorporated into the newer Bahai faith.

An interesting fact about the lotus plant is that it grows basically in mud, flowers during the day, returns to the mud at night and flowers clean again the next day.

All of the gods and goddesses of Hinduism are associated with a pink lotus flower and it is considered the most divine and only awarded to those of the highest standing. It is a symbol of a person who has awakened to spiritual reality. The heart of the lotus is considered to be the purist in Buddhism and it is believed that people should strive to be like the opened blossom. The soul is also said to be within the heart of the lotus.

The pink lotus flower also represents ones heart. When the flower is a bud it is synonymous with a person who has yet to step up to spirituality. The fully opened flower represents a full sense of enlightenment.

Now that I know what the pink lotus blossom represents I am thrilled that I was guided to make such a meaningful choice. Possibly it means for me an opening up anew of wondrous adventures.



Sunday, February 24, 2013

...and the award goes to

Tonight is Oscar night! Wow all that money, all those beautiful gowns and fabulous jewels spent on one night of expected bliss as the words are spoken ...and the winner is.

There can only be one winner in each category. What about all those who put their heart and soul into their work and are not recognized? Don't they count too? I think they do, maybe even more so than the ones who the judges make a big deal about. I am always for the under dog. Those who passionately put everything they have into what they do are my kind of people. Even if their goal of being accepted and recognized is not realized they have touched and inspired many other souls on their journey up.

I don't see many movies, but the ones that have inspired me in the last few years are the animated jewels that have been presented. They all take life's challenges and present them in a very acceptable form.

First there was Nemo, about a brave little fish who got himself into serious trouble simply because he wanted to know what was out there beyond the safety of his home. Then there came Happy Feet about a new born penguin who lacked the singing talent of the rest of his tribe. He passionately spent his life trying to teach everyone he knew how to tap dance. Who could forget Wall-E? A special robot who fell in love with a female robot and followed her into space, changing their destiny and the destiny of the world.

These are my kind of movies. The ones who quietly spread their message about peace and hope and love.

I will probably watch the Oscars tonight just to see all the splendor because it reminds me that the things that really count in my life don't require money. 

My favorite movie of all time is Love is a Many Splendored Thing, with William Holden and the beautiful Jennifer Jones. Here is the song from that movie. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx04RJvndGU

Saturday, February 23, 2013

What have I done?

Getting in the habit of following the morning instructions I have been receiving from my guides, led me to send an online message to a person who means the world to me. The words I composed were well thought out and were meant to express my deepest feelings. Our relationship, as it was, needed to end so that a brand new one could begin. As I write this it reminds me of a butterfly in the last stage of pushing its way out of the cocoon. Does it pause, look back and ask, "what have I done?"

Everything was going well until I noticed the person in question had sent me a reply, which I have yet to open.

You can probably guess the why of that. It can be answered in one word- fear!

I believe we both knew it was well past the time for things to change and one of us had to put that thought into words. Apparently that someone was me. Who knew I was that brave? Certainly not me!

I know that for every act there is a reaction. I also know I am only responsible for what I do not for what anyone else does. Why couldn't I have been given a gift of mind reading instead of taking spirit photos? Is it too late to trade I wonder?

Sometime in the next day or so I am going to have to stop asking "what have I done?", open the message and find the answer to that question.








Friday, February 22, 2013

A little face lift

Looking at the calender I see it is almost spring again. Time to spruce things up and give my blog a little facelift. I like this little fellow with its perky little face. Perhaps it will remind me to choose topics that are a little more upbeat. I have spent enough time focusing on the recent changes that have taken place in my life. It is time to put those changes to good use. I cordially invite all of my readers and friends (past, present and future) to join me as I begin walking once more with a new attitude.

During my "Write On People" writing group meeting this morning I realized that, yes I am in charge, even though I am also part of the group. Just because it is my group does not mean that I have to do everything myself. It simply means that someone has to coordinate our projects and keep things moving in an orderly fashion or we would accomplish nothing. Some of the members need a little push to tap into their own creativity and there are some that occasionally need to be gently reminded to back off a little and give others some breathing room. Everyone has talent or they wouldn't be part of the group.

The same thing is happening with our communication group with the residents at Good Sam. It takes skill to encourage all the participants to speak up and share their experiences and it looks like I had that skill all the time. Maybe it is because I was for so many years the one who was fearful of expressing myself, the one who always stood back, the one most likely to get sucked into negative addictions belonging to others. Having been there I know exactly how that feels and it puts me in a position of being able to better spot the ones that need a little push. I know it is never too late to change your ways no matter how old you are. You just have to be willing.

With gratitude to every single soul who helped me along the way I look forward to new adventures full of fun and laughter and a lighter way of learning/teaching.



Thursday, February 21, 2013

Mind your own life please

I have just realized it wouldn't have taken me so long to get from where I was to where I am if I had not been so distracted by people who thought they knew what was best for me. The list goes on and on of well meaning souls who just could not resist insisting that they had special gifts and could see into my future. Every time what they saw did not happen.

I lost track of how many times I have repeated the experience meant to teach me that I Am the only one who can see what is going to happen in my life. I am the only one who has been given this particular gift and nothing anyone else thinks, feels or sees with their Xray vision means a hill of beans.

I look at the lives of these people with their special gifts of sight and think to myself, if you are so talented why are you not further along on your own path? Just a thought, but why do negative things keep happening to you time after time?

So many positive almost-unbelievable things have happened to me in recent weeks that I did wonder at one point if I was the target of some kind of universal prank. I kept looking for a candid camera. More than once I questioned if it was all some kind of joke and like a balloon would one day pop and everything would vanish.

Then the situation slowly began appearing from a different view point. The problem wasn't the almost-unbelievable, magical, miraculous things that were happening at all. The problem was me and the fact that I did not believe I was worthy of such extraordinary gifts in my ordinary life. I simply could not accept them.

It may sound silly to insert this here, but it was a bit like Maria in the Sound of Music. She didn't believe she was worthy of all the wonderful things that were suddenly happening to her.

I am not quite sure what happened or even how or exactly when it happened, but something has happened to change what I see in my minds eye. I now not only want but accept every blessed thing out there that has my name on it. Further more I no longer care to know what other well meaning gifted people see or don't see. Keep it to yourself and use it to mind your own life please.

From now on I am only concerned with what I see.

Mistaken identity

While tending my flower garden a couple of days ago I attempted to pull out what I concluded, after lengthy observation, was a weed. It looked like a weed to me. I am sure you are familiar with the saying, "if it quacks like a duck, waddles like a duck, swims like a duck - it is a duck."

Yesterday that little sucker started growing again. I have never seen anything living have so much determination! Not loving a soul like that is an impossible feat.

Contemplating what was going on, I realized that there was something different about this little fellow.  The only way I can explain it is he had shed a whole bunch of dried up useless garbage that was causing him to only look like a weed. Underneath all that stuff was the makings of a beautiful blossom just waiting to bud.

All he needed for full growth was someone who noticed him and was as determined as he was; someone to love and encourage him to become all that he was meant to be.

No one could be happier than I am that it was a case of mistaken identity and he will always have a permanent place of honor in my flower garden.  


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Here we go again

Last night I had a visit from a young community minded friend of mine that I greatly admire. He has some big plans for his life that will require a little more education. In the meantime he is in charge of the Cibola County CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) group and he came to talk to me about becoming a volunteer.

While waiting for his visit I had checked CASA out online to get a better idea of what it is all about. For some reason it sparked my interest. Volunteers are appointed by a judge to represent the interests of troubled kids in the court system. They literally speak for the child in cases of neglect/abuse. They receive intensive training, make home visits and keep track of an assigned child/children until their case comes up in court. My friend didn't need to do a lot of convincing because the whole idea seemed like a really good fit for me. We will meet next week to go over the procedure to become a volunteer and fill out the required paper work. There's always paper work!

I remember a "friend" once saying, rather accusingly, that I had volunteered my life away. This person rarely volunteered for anything because money was his guide. My life has now settled down to an approved (by me) situation. I do still volunteer, as an individual, and only for things that I am passionate about. My writing group and the communication group we started at Grants Good Samaritan Center are at the top of that list. These things make me very happy and I know that my presence is making a difference in several lives. They both give me an opportunity to encourage others to be the best that they can be.

Sometimes all a person needs is someone who believes in them. I think the reason this has become so important in my later years is because I didn't have that support at times when I needed it the most, mainly my formative years. So if, as a CASA volunteer, I can give that important support to a child the reward will not come in the form of a paycheck.

For anyone who might be interested in CASA here is a website.
http://www.13districtcourt.com/casa-cibola.htm




Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pulling out the weed

Growing up I didn't have a lot of friends, which is why I chose to take up smoking at the age of 19 or so. That lasted for 40 years until the day I realized just what was motivating me to hang on to a negative habit I literally detested. I had to look in my mirror and see that the nasty addiction was dragging me down not helping me move up. It was a crutch.

Today I have so many loyal honest friends willing to help me be the person I came here to be that I can't even count them. Every one of them is different and brings to the mix their own particular style. It is like a garden full of wild flowers and the scent is intoxicating. The only thing I ask of my friends is that they are honest with me. Even criticism is acceptable if it is positive. Friends often have an unobstructed view of things and I always value their opinions because I know they have my best interest in their hearts.

Sometimes I find a weed in my beautiful garden in the form of a person whose intentions to become my friend are self-serving and dishonest. Quietly keeping an eye on this kind of friend and because I am basically too trusting I often allow it to grow,  hoping against hope that I am wrong in my assessment and it will one day turn into a beautiful blossom. Miracles do happen when you believe.

Given enough time, when the miracle does not happen, I have no choice other than to pull the weed; for I know that if it is allowed to continue to grow it will infect everything I have worked for and my beautiful garden will no longer exist.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Teaching tools

From Thursday night to Sunday afternoon I spent a good portion of my time watching a youth basketball tournament. I was observing not only the players, but the coaches and how they coached their players. My grandson has a different coach this year and the pairing has been so poor that his parents are planning on putting him back in the draft next year, hoping for a better match.

After watching Mr. S. for several hours I came to the conclusion that he needs several hours of instruction on how to relate to and instill pride in young players. Some of these boys and girls could be  the basketball stars of the future and what they learn now is going to affect how they play then. Any game is not all about winning it is also about sportsmanship and working as a team.

In the first place Mr. S. needs to buy himself a good pair of glasses to enable him to see the potential in all of his players, not just his son and a couple of his personal favorites. He needs to get out of the dark ages and realize that a shorter player who just happens to be a born athlete can outshine the tallest kid if given a chance to play for more than two minutes.

What really upset me the most was the constant bellowing Mr. S. showered on his team. Nothing was ever right in his eyes and he seemed to go out of his way to make his players look like idiots in front of the spectators. If this wasn't bad enough the assistant coach is equally as loud and offensive. At one point I was sitting next to a parent from the opposing team and her comment was, "I wouldn't want my child on his team!"

The tournament is over and there is only one more game left of the season so hopefully this will be the end of Mr. S.in my grandson's life. For the most part he has had some wonderful coaches for both basketball and soccer who really care about the kids, but this one I would put at the bottom of the list. In my opinion if a coach is not going to encourage all of his players to do their best work perhaps he/she should find something else to do with his/her time.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Time enough

The thought on my mind this morning is time. We are only given so much of this precious commodity to use during our human experience. I know I am not the only one who has wasted more time than I care to admit. Many of those minutes have been taken up with fear of taking a risk that my heart was begging me to take. Just jump off that diving board with your eyes wide open it was saying. While thinking I had all kinds of time to work up the nerve I looked down and the water had all dried up.

We never know when we will take our last breath. Being human carries with it much responsibility, but it also offers a special gift not available in the other realms we will eventually inhabit. The gift of the human touch is like no other form of communication. Simply holding another's hand in a time of pain or stress speaks more eloquently than any words could ever express.

It make me sad that we humans tend to listen to our egos instead of our hearts; remembering  past battles instead of looking forward to new adventures. Even the most educated in spiritual matters do not know the exact moment when our time will run out; that second when we no longer have time to make that decision that could have changed everything, if we had just taken the risk.

I want to close this post with sharing something that happened about three years ago to give you cause to think a little. There was a little boy who knew he was dying of cancer who was being interviewed on TV. This beautiful amazing child only had one concern and that was, "Did I do enough?"

Saturday, February 16, 2013

A balancing act

Along with or perhaps because of a positive change in my blog posts, I have realized that my whole attitude has shifted more than a little bit. I seem to be looking at things and especially the people most predominant in my life from a different vantage point.

I am no longer looking up at those who have previously intimidated me because of their formal education; nor am I looking down at those who I may have tended to think of as slightly less than just because of their current circumstances. It is a very comfortable balanced position to be in.

In having my morning conversation this morning with myself and whomever else was joining in, I realized that I have somehow reached a new level of achieving balance. I no longer have a need to prove anything to anyone. I am happy with me and what you see is what you get.

In the process, I now truly understand that we all come to this place called earth with our own bag of tools to carry out our personal assignment. When we are finished we go back from whence we came and consider what happened, pick up a new bag of tools and a new assignment and do it all over again. I have always known we never die, but I have never seen that particular view of the process before.

It blows my mind to imagine the kind of celebration that will take place when all of us diligent souls have used our very last tool to complete our very last assignment and the universe is so well balanced that the only thing remaining is peace and love.


Friday, February 15, 2013

The day after

This morning I am thinking about what happens the day after major holidays of love and family such as Valentine's Day and Christmas. After the gifts are exchanged and the wrappings are cleaned up then what? Did the day really make any difference in your everyday life or is today back to the same old stuff? I saw a photo of the tons and tons of trash left over from the Mardi Gras celebration - wow! I hope the participants had fun making all that mess.

Most people viewing my life would think yesterday was a pretty quiet ordinary day for me. Outside of a couple of friends who took the time to send greetings nothing much happened in the way of celebrating a day that others were making such a big deal about. The small gestures I had made to express love for my fellow humans had been done the day before and I will continue to do them today. There is nothing on my calender that marks today any different than any other day.

I will admit there was one or two things I was hoping would happen yesterday, but they did not materialize. I have found that expecting other people to act in a certain way is leading to major disappointment and I am determined not to do that anymore. I do not know all the reasons others do or do not do anything. I know what I would do, based on my experiences, but I am not them.

For me today is not much different than any other day. I plan to go exercise this morning, then pick up a friend who resides in a nursing home and take her shopping and treat her to lunch. Sometime during the day I will probably do a little more writing and give my puppy some attention. The highlight of my day will no doubt be watching my grandson play basketball tonight in the second game of a three day tournament, grateful that a recent injury has healed.

I guess I would surmise that the day after is no different than the day before or the day of. Whatever will be will be and I am more than ready for what might come next.


Thursday, February 14, 2013

Why I do it

Today is a culmination of everything that has occurred in my life for the last 13 years. In a sense it is graduation day. It is the day that I am finally sure of who I am and what I am here to do. The fact that today is also Valentine's Day has very little to do with it. Although both have everything to do with the heart.

I have been doing freelance writing since 2000. It began with going around town and interviewing people I knew. At the time I had no idea what I was supposed to do with the one page life stories I was writing, but I followed my intuition and my heart and kept writing anyway. Then one day someone I barley knew noticed what I was doing and gave me an opportunity I could not pass up to write a newspaper column. I still remember that day sitting in the little office of the Cibola County Beacon, as if it just happened. It makes me laugh to remember that I did not hesitate for even a second. If I had, the last 13 years would no doubt have been completely different.

I guess I must have paid attention in my high school English classes because I have always had a love affair with words. It grates on my nerves to witness people misusing the gift of writing. Everyone has their own style and that is understandable, but a writer who does not make every effort to express their self as clearly as possible is inexcusable as far as I am concerned.

The more I wrote the more I loved what I was doing. Over the years writing has led me to research subjects that I may not have otherwise been interested in. It has taken the place of the college education that I was not given the opportunity to have. It has been a friend on lonely days and given me a tool to dig into my own past and discover what makes me tick and what keeps me from ticking at optimum strength.

Although I have written two newspaper columns and have published books, this blog is my most rewarding experience. It is the place where I share what is in my heart. Honestly sharing everyday experiences others can relate to gets attention. In looking over my own shoulder I have noticed that my posts have recently taken on a new look. There is something different about them. I know it is because a very determined spirit took me under his wing and gradually taught me, with much resistance on my part, how to make what I was writing softer and more palatable.

There are other  things that have recently been pointed out to me that have also helped along that line of thinking. Questions to consider include: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it respectful? And another very good rule of thumb is to remember to always be flexible. It is possible to change my mind even after something has been published when new information makes itself available. I try to admit my mistake and reword what I have said. I have never intentionally written to hurt anyone. Someone once said a good writer edits until the last possible moment. This is true true true!

In a recent conversation regarding my writing the person I was talking to suggested that I should be paid for what I am doing. My answer was that is not why I write. I write because it is the universal gift I have been given to help others believe in who they are. Money does not even enter into the equation. Universal gifts of this quality are not meant to keep. They are meant to be shared with others by any means possible.

Because I feel I have graduated and now know who I am and what I am supposed to be doing I ordered brand new business cards. I think they look pretty nice. What do you think?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Pure Love

On the day before Valentine's Day 2013 I find it fitting to post a beautiful love poem.

As I awoke one morning in 2000 the words to this gem were on my mind. I immediately wrote them down, as I knew they would be lost if I did not. For years I refused to take credit for it, believing it was channeled from a source that I assumed was outside of my being. Because of recent spiritual growth I now believe it came directly from my soul mind to be shared with the world. Over the years it has been given as a personal gift to others to mark occasions such as weddings and anniversaries. Also, over the years it has had several titles, settling on Pure Love.

The poem could be used to celebrate many relationships including:
between lovers
husband and wife
parent and child
teacher and student
between friends
the creator and the created

Pure Love

I will love you forever and ever
I will defend you against your enemies
I will support you when you are hurt
I will warn you when I see danger
I will teach you anything I know
I will listen quietly as you teach me
I will pray with you and for you
I will hold you if you need comfort
I will feed you when you are hungry
I will help you live but I will not live for you
I will respect your right to your freedom
I will love you forever and ever.

Barbara Loure` Gunn 2000

The reason I am sharing this poem a day before Valentine's Day is to give permission to anyone to copy  and share it. I only ask for credit as the author.


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Believing

I have been upset lately with people who believe that, because they read it in a holy book, the world is coming to an end. I look at them and say AS YOU KNOW IT! Some of them look at me as if I should be locked up somewhere safe away from the rest of the population. I want to scream at them, "Do you really think that the creator of all is going to blow everything up?"

Just possibly all the negative things that are going on in the world just now are happening to finally get our attention. Is the world just going to sit back and watch, because it says right here in this book that yes, the world is going to come to an end. It's like saying to a pyromaniac who is giving you fair warning that he is planning to burn your house down, "Go ahead I can't stop you."

Does anyone remember 9/11/01? In my opinion that happened to get the attention of America who believes that we are the greatest country in the world. How ridicules is our insisting that we know better than any other country how their countries should be run. For starters we give our poor assistance when they are too lazy to get off their butts and find work. Nothing wrong with washing a few dishes or picking up trash. We treat our elderly like crap just because we can't be bothered with them anymore. The nursing homes are filled with people who don't belong there in the first place. Our school system needs a complete overhauling. How far down on the ladder are we going to slide before people notice and do something? America is a far cry from being the greatest country in the world. Get real people!

I know that I am not the only one who has noticed that above all the negative things that are going on there is also an enormous change taking place, a shift in perception world wide. Huge numbers of people are waking up to get back to their roots.; to remember why they were born at this particular time in history. To me it is exhilarating to be part of this movement to teach the world what they forgot. It is only one word, but it is the most important word in any language. The word is love.

In the last few years my core beliefs have been tossed around as if they were the result of a hurricane. I have finally stopped trying to adapt to what everyone else thinks and settled back down to what I have believed since I arrived on this planet called earth. I believe in one entity, whom I call God; I believe that I was created and sent here to teach others and remind myself that the only thing that is ever going to straighten up the mess the world is in is LOVE.





Saturday, February 9, 2013

Fulfilling a request

It has become my habit to use the time between waking in the morning and actually getting out of bed to have quiet conversations with spirits not physically present in my bedroom. Sometimes it is direct communication with my Creator, other times it may be with a close living friend and still other times it could be with a soul no longer occupying a human body. Today it was a combination of all three, none anymore important than the others.

This morning I received a request from a good friend who left earth in 2007 after a long battle with diabetes. Her name was also Barbara and we met around 1995. She was a wonderful, strong, funny role model for the entire community, even after her disease began taking her limbs. I have never known a more powerful soul. She never let anything stand in her way when she wanted to do something- anything!

Barbara has been mentioned in almost everything I have written. It was not until her death that I realized just how strong of a spiritual relationship we had/have. I believe that she chose me, while still living, to keep an eye on her beloved husband, John for her. She was the kind of person who would not hesitate to celebrate a holiday by cooking up something special. Since her death I have baked goodies for him off and on,  making sure he understands it is because Barbara would if she could. Those two had a unique relationship that would put most people's marriages to shame!

This morning my wonderful friend, Barbara, asked me to give John a Valentine gift for her. It was a very specific gift. I tried to talk her into just getting a chocolate heart, but she wouldn't go for it. So sometime in the next couple of days I will be baking a batch of sugar cookies in the shape of a heart with cinnamon pieces on top. It must mean something special to them and I am happy to be of service. In closing this post I am adding the beautiful tribute John wrote and published for his love a couple of years ago.





Thursday, February 7, 2013

A mixed bag

Yesterday was a really strange day full of mixed energy which led to mixed experiences and finally to mixed emotions. I believe it was one of those days meant to force me to sort things out and decide just what I want to keep and what I need to discard from my life.

The nursing home communication group was just me and two residents. Although it was intimate we  freely shared our experiences with nature such as: tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes etc. What made it interesting was the fact that we all came from different parts of the country so our experiences are varied. I was very happy with myself for finding common ground to talk about. My main objective is to get them talking, it doesn't matter about what. My purpose is to bring the residents who choose to participate in our group into the present. During this hour yesterday a couple of outsiders attempted to bring negative energy in. Although I noticed it I basically ignored it.  Yay for me, guess I'm learning.

Several other things happened yesterday along this line. The most traumatic was a serious misunderstanding with a friend. It started because I was seeking information to clarify a situation. I firmly believe gathering information from as many sources as possible is the best way to form a self-educated opinion. Taking one person's ideas without comparison of others leads to a one sided view. Even though my choice to investigate information led to a problem I hadn't anticipated I am happy I did what I did.

Since my writing group meets this  morning I have hopes that  the mixed bag of energy from yesterday has found another place to reside.  


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Spirits speak

Yesterday I was talking to a lady who owns a local business about the possibility of using the spirit photographs I have been taking since about 2000 to create an event to help bring customers into her very old establishment. I have been looking for just the right place to educate people that this life is not all there is. We do not die, we are transmuted to another form again and again.

I have known for a year that this particular store is the exact one that I was waiting for. The problem then was twofold. First a couple of people were renting the portion of the store where I clearly saw the event taking place and as a result an existing  partition was causing a cramped space. The problem was solved when I recently discovered the renters had moved out and the wall has been removed.

A little more patience on my part is still required, but I planted a very healthy seed in the mind of the owner of the store and she is digesting the information. To present a strong case I left her with copies of two of my best spirit photographs to show her husband.

While we were talking I discovered we had some spirit experiences in common. Neither of us actually see spirits, well I did see my maternal grandfather once, but not sure that counts. We do; however both feel their presence. She told me about an experience when her late husband died of feeling his spirit was sitting on her mattress. She said it was not scary, but felt peaceful. I had the very same experience when my father died in 1967. That was way before I knew I was going to be taking photos of spirits on a regular basis.

I suppose if I was open enough I could actually see them, but I am not sure I am ready to have one sit in my living room having a face to face conversation. I agreed to take pictures, but that is as far as I am willing to go right now. It's not that I am afraid exactly, well okay there is a little fear of the unknown involved.

I did have a funny spirit experience a few years ago. One night I became a little uneasy sensing spirits in a room in my house that I do not often use. I'm sure the spirits were rolling on the floor with laughter when I locked the door to keep them out of the rest of the house. I suppose even spirits need a laugh once in a while.

The other way I have been introduced to interesting vibes is on three different occasions I have seen words written in the sky by an unknown source that I had no doubt were for me. The first time this happened was Labor Day weekend 2001, right before 9/11. I was sitting in the park and happened to look up in the sky where several images, including a man wearing a military helmet and camouflage uniform appeared, along with a word having something to do with New York. It didn't click until after the terrorist attack on the twin towers. Then it did more than click. I believe my reaction was, Oh My God!

The second time I saw writing in the sky was the word Jesus, scrawled in a child like hand writing. I immediately knew it was telling me a close friend who had her fingers amputated due to diabetes had arrived at her destination safely. I of course,  shared the information with her family.

This morning, as I was coming home from town I noticed something written in the sky. The word contained four letters that at first I had trouble unscrambling. When I did I saw it said John. My reaction to that was OH COME ON ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It is the name of a very important person in my current life. That's all I am going to say about that.

I don't know about God, but it sure looks like someone up there somewhere has a strange sense of humor and an interesting way of speaking.


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Living a healthy life

The following is a reprint of an article I wrote, as a Contributing Columnist for Write On People, which was recently published in the Cibola County Beacon.

Living a healthy life

When most people think about healthy living they focus on what they put in their mouth. From research and my own experience I have found that living a healthy life encompasses much more than diet. It includes our environment, the people in our lives, the homes we live in, the thoughts we allow in our minds and the choices we make on a daily basis.

Of course, we all know that we should drink plenty of water. The recommended amount is 8 glasses per day. This isn't hard to do in the summer when everyone is thirsty, but winter is a different matter. Drinking water replaces what is lost through urine, bowel movements, perspiration and breathing. It is a necessary ingredient for our bodies to function properly.

Although it is not necessary to become a vegetarian, adding more fruits and vegetables is essential for good health. Synthetic supplements are not the same as consuming natural foods. The most nutritious fruits are: watermelon, apricots, apple, avocado, cantaloupe, grapefruit, kiwi, guava, papaya and strawberries. Top of the list vegetables are: most beans, asparagus, sprouts, button mushrooms, carrots and of course, anything green.

A great idea for adding variety to the menu is to think of a color wheel. White is for bananas and mushrooms; yellow for pineapple, mango and squash; orange for papaya and orange; red for apple, strawberry, tomato and watermelon; green for guava, avocado, cucumber, lettuce and celery.

Telling someone they can't have something is like giving them a green light to eat it anyway. For this reason I don't feel that any food should be completely off limits; not even a hot fudge sundae or a perfectly seasoned portion of prime rib- once in a while.

Being overweight is the number one health problem in our country. If you are not close to your recommended weight you are prone to multiple diseases and a decreased quality of life.  Daily exercise will help get your weight where it should be. It really doesn't matter what you do as long as you exercise on a regular basis. Find a variety of activities that fit your physical capabilities and that you enjoy. Exercise lowers the risk of disease, lowers blood pressure and increases life span and bone density.

Next is resting your mind, better known as sleep. Getting enough sleep is important whatever your age. Inadequate sleep leads to eating high sugar foods that are not good for you and cause weight gain. Another way to rest your mind is meditation. All it requires is to sit quietly and turn off your self talk. Focus on deep breathing from the abdomen or listen to calming music. Just five minutes a day is enough to begin a very good habit.

Eliminating all the negative things in your life that are causing you stress is like weight loss for your mind. Spring cleaning can be done at any time of the year and should include those people who are draining your positive energy. Don't forget to take the time to laugh, especially at yourself. Great advice from a physical fitness trainer is, "Decrease your stress level by limiting the number of commitments you take on. Many people are stressed because they are over committed or over scheduled." 

Now that you are a healthy person living a healthy life get involved with your community, join a group that interests you, take up a new hobby, look for people with similar interests or simply pay more attention to the beautiful world our Creator has provided for you. Healthy or not your life is what you make of it.


Monday, February 4, 2013

An oldie but goodie

What color is love?

This story was partially inspired by an article I read about what to do with the stuffed bears outgrown from childhood. I don't recall ever having a bear or anything else I was really attached to as a child. That could help explain why I grew up having a life challenge of learning to accept love. I must confess I really didn't know much about the subject as I reached adulthood. After 40 years of marriage to two different men I was still suffering from a lack of knowledge. It has only been because of recent experiences that I believe I finally get it.

Although I had little personal experience with childhood bears, I was allowed to eavesdrop on my grandson's experience with a special bear in his life. I purchased a perky little fellow at a yard sale my daughter's friend was having. The bear in question was brand new and my grandson was between two and three. I loved both the bear and the kid at first sight.
My daughter was not pleased with my purchase, even though Colin obviously loved his floppy new friend. The first thing out of her mouth was, "IT'S PINK! It's pink and blue I corrected. The bear as you can plainly see has equal amounts of both colors. From that day on my daughter refused to allow him to take the bear out in public. What would people think?

From that day on the bear, which I always allowed to travel with Colin in my car, was referred to as "car bear". It stayed with me when its owner wasn't around. It kept him company on nights he slept over at my house, was fed cereal at make believe picnics in my living room, enjoyed rides in a little plastic wagon, was sometimes transformed into a bean bag and always gave as much love as it received.

When Colin was about nine he was visiting for the day and decided to retrieve his old stuffed animals, still stored in the little plastic wagon. I watched with amusement as he picked them up one by one and either discarded or kept them. The treasured car bear was of course, put in the keep pile. Two years have gone by and its fate still has not been decided.

Days after the sorting event I was thinking about this special pink and blue bear that had given and received so much love from an equally special little boy. I realized that parents need to mind their own business and let children choose for themselves. I also realized that love can be any color we want it to be.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Your naked truth

This being Sunday, you might expect I would be writing a post about religion, you would be wrong. Today I am dedicating this space to a friend, without whose help I would not be where I am today. I am sure that what I write will be as much of a surprise to him, if he should read this, as it is to me, that I am writing it. I am just using my fingers to share what is coming from somewhere else. I am not at all sure where this is headed, but you are welcome to come along for the ride.

He and I have been consciously connected in this lifetime since late 2009, when something I wrote on a person's Facebook wall caught his attention and he sent me a friend request. Right from the start the connection was unusually strong, at least from my viewpoint. The first thing that struck me about him was his unique sense of humor and his rather interesting way of expressing himself. He would have stood tall in any crowd.

Also right from the start this, often irritating man, had the unique gift of pushing me to stop "cheating" and learn to use the gift of words I had been given in the most positive way possible; helping myself and in turn helping others grow. I have a vivid memory of a time when he asked me a question and not sure of the answer, I looked it up in a dictionary. His response to that was, "That was the dictionary definition, now what do you think?"  What does this guy have eyes in the back of his head or what, I wondered. Right then I knew I would never ever be able to hide anything from him.

At this point I also knew I had already bought into the relationship and there was no way I was going to get out of it. Our communication moved from the public facebook to the more private emails. We had an on again off again relationship for three years, with long periods when I did not physically hear from him. When he did send a message it was like the best Christmas present ever and it didn't have to be December. My heart could not have been happier. When he again left for months my heart felt sad, even though I knew he hadn't really gone far.

During the on periods, brief as they were, his teaching continued, trying to get me to let go of negative thoughts that I had carried with me through my entire life, as the result of my own experiences. His vision/purpose was much better than mine at the time. This is not to say that the man is perfect. He still has a bunch of stuff in his own life to deal with and I believe he knows that or soon will.

Shortly after the first of the year our online relationship suddenly came back to life in full force. Looking back to a few weeks ago, caused my take on that to be, that either I, he or both of us grew to a place where we were ready for the next step. You've heard the expression ready or not here I come? Well I guess I must have said yes because there have been some big changes in my life, mostly in my ability to banish those negative thoughts I have had my whole life, by understanding the underlying causes.

When this enormous shift occurred everything in my life changed. Who I was is no longer who I am and today I am very grateful to my friend, who never gave up pushing me to be me. I do not believe I have ever known a soul more determined to help another and I am eternally grateful that soul happened to be me. Is it any wonder that my heart feels as if it will explode with love whenever he comes into view? Thank you really doesn't cover how I feel right now.



P.S. I'm not hanging on to anything anymore. An additional lesson that I have learned from this entire experience is that the most effective way to get people to listen to what you have to say is to be willing to share your naked truth.




Saturday, February 2, 2013

An unexpected break from the usual

Since it's Saturday it meant watching a youth basketball game this morning with my eye on my young grandson. The teams were evenly matched today and the one I was rooting for won the game 30 to 23. My grandson missed shooting three baskets by a hair.

After the game I decided to drive through town and stop at Mc Donald's, something I haven't done in ages. For some reason I had a craving for an egg mc muffin. It had been so long since I had eaten one I had almost forgotten how tasty they can be.

After arriving home and closing the front gate I let my puppy, Ejay, out for some air and a potty break. I soon discovered that he had escaped for the third time this week. I wasn't really worried, but it was exasperating after taking the time to tie the gate shut so he wouldn't squeeze through it. Even though I live a little outside of town I don't want him running loose. He could get run over or picked up by the humane society and end up right back where I rescued him from in early December.

I don't believe he is trying to run away from home. He just wants to explore the neighborhood. Someone suggested I should put him on a leash and take him for a walk. I may consider that after he gets out of the dog house! As I was checking things out I noticed my grandson, who lives a couple of houses away, leading my errant puppy home by a leash belonging to his dog, Lilly. Ejay has been grounded all day! I still do not know how he is getting out.

After Colin cleaned his room at home he spent the remainder of the day at my house. First there came his favorite lunch of chicken noodle soup. After lunch we took the time to visit with some of the residents at our local nursing home. He was the center of attention as soon as we walked into the activity room. He is such a cool guy he just allowed himself to be shared with all interested parties. He proudly told all about his interests in sports and didn't forget to relay that he excels in soccer and runs faster than anybody else. He showed off a recent scar from a malfunctioning Bebe gun, helped a lady with a puzzle, checked out the computer pictures a man was showing off of a family baby and generally had a ball just being Colin. When we left he had made a haul of 2 pieces of bubble gum, a piece of candy, a  red crocheted egg,  a key chain that said "I am the coolest kid here" and an ice cream bar.

Later he watched a dog show on TV, played with Ejay, played some games on my computer finishing off the day and suddenly it was dinner time. After a call home to ask permission we picked up a pepperoni pizza and for a little guy I was amazed at how many pieces he scarfed down, plus a cherry coke, which he never gets at my house. I just took him home as it is now dark out there and I didn't want him walking home alone.

So today has been an unexpected break from the usual way I spend a day. It was nice to have the company of one of the most important souls in my world.








Friday, February 1, 2013

Another voice?

Several years ago I was contemplating what it would feel like to reside as a spark of light in the celestial realm. I  was having trouble picturing communicating with my fellow "sparks", sans a physical voice or even a body. Since then I have learned a lot about the spiritual world through first hand experiences and my question about spirit communication is no longer necessary. Spirits/entities without bodies communicate through thought waves. It is as simple as that.

Our thoughts are the most powerful tool we have for good and for evil. Thoughts can cause a tiny seed to grow into a giant tree. Thoughts can also tumble a giant to the ground causing it to clutch its heart.

Our thoughts control how we feel inside, which in turn controls how we react to the world around us. We are who we are because of an accumulation of thoughts. These thoughts are the result of our personal experiences.

This pretty much explains the expression: You are who you think you are. Ah but you can choose to change that any old time you want to. All you need is a really clean mirror and the desire to look at yourself and honestly see what is not working for you. If you look at the floor you might see that trash can there at your feet. You know what to do next.

Someone once asked me to close my eyes and picture anything I wanted to. Then I was asked to open my eyes and answer the simple question- who is looking at the picture? Meekly I answered, "I am."

I was then asked if there was anything I cared to add. My response was, "the picture was in my mind and nobody else could see what I saw". I realized then that my view of life was coming from the inside looking out, not from the outside looking in. This simple experiment forever changed for me the meaning of the words I AM.

I am the only one in charge of my life; of what I see, of what I feel, of what I choose to do about it. Although it is very true that I am often inspired by other people, places and things, the thoughts I use to express myself in response to that inspiration belong to me and me alone.

In closing my thoughts today I am sharing an inspirational quote from the amazing teacher Helen Keller.

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.